After Breaking Off the Engagement, I Started Pursuing My Master - Chapter 253

Chapter 253 Inner Demons

An hour later.

When Jiang Huai returned to the bamboo forest, Luo Yueguan was still sitting there, lost in thought, her eyes red-rimmed. Hearing footsteps, she turned her head, but her gaze filled with hatred when she saw Jiang Huai.

“What are you doing here again?”

“Are you going to eat? I made two dishes you like.”

“Weren’t you not going to make my portion?”

“I was angry and spoke in haste, don’t take it seriously,” Jiang Huai said softly.

“Why do you have the right to be angry?”

“Can’t I be angry?” Jiang Huai looked at her innocently, “Do I have to coddle you in everything to be considered good to you? Then I’m no different from a dog you’re raising. If you don’t understand that…”

“You better explain clearly, and after you do… I’ll eat.”

“Explain what?” Jiang Huai’s gaze grew more helpless.

“Would it really cost you anything to kiss me?”

“No,” Jiang Huai shook his head.

“Then why won’t you?”

“Because it’s pointless. If you need me to kiss you before you’ll believe me, then there will be a next time, and the time after that. You’ll still come up with a bunch of wild ideas and convince yourself they’re right. You’re trying to explain everything with rules you’ve made up, but that makes no sense.”

“The real reason is you don’t trust me, so you try to wear down my patience to prove I like you enough. But I told you long ago, patience can be worn thin. When you’ve exhausted my patience, you’ll mock yourself for bringing it upon yourself, or blame me for not liking you enough. Do you think that’s okay?”

“If you still don’t understand after I’ve said this, then let me put it another way.” Jiang Huai stared into her eyes, “Are you going to eat? If not, go back to Qingxuan Sect now, and I’ll personally bring Qingyu to Qingxuan Sect in five days.”

“Why are you being so harsh?” Luo Yueguan’s eyes began to mist again.

“That’s just how harsh I am.” Jiang Huai approached her, extending his hand, “Get up, change your clothes, and then eat.”

Luo Yueguan sat in her chair, her eyes brimming with tears, unmoved.

“I’ll count to ten.”

“You’re bullying me.”

“Ten.”

“Jerk! Scum! Low-life!”

“Nine.”

“You’re lying… you won’t always coddle me… you’re a liar…”

“Five.”

Luo Yueguan cried, her shoulders shaking, while Jiang Huai counted down slowly. When he reached three, Luo Yueguan still reached out her hand, which was slightly cold.

Jiang Huai sighed softly, took out a handkerchief to wipe her tears, “You reached out on your own, so no more crying. Go change your clothes and then eat. Later in the afternoon, we’ll play cards in the courtyard.”

Luo Yueguan’s lashes still glistened with tears, Jiang Huai stared at her for several seconds. She wiped her eyes herself, then nodded, let go of Jiang Huai’s hand, and turned towards the courtyard.

When she returned to her room, changed into a new outfit, and sat down at the table to pick up her chopsticks, she had already reverted to her usual dignified and elegant demeanor.

In some ways, she was indeed quick to change her mood, almost as fast as flipping a book. Jiang Huai almost thought the woman who had been crying in the chair was just a figment of his imagination.

For lunch, Jiang Huai still made six dishes, including two of Luo Yueguan’s favorites, spicy diced chicken and boiled beef with hot sauce, adding plenty of chili peppers because Luo Yueguan had complained last time that it wasn’t spicy enough.

Jiang Huai seemed to understand why Luo Yueguan liked spicy food. Pain can become a habit, and for her, pain seemed to equate to safety, or perhaps something deeper. Even if she panted like a puppy from the spice, she kept eating non-stop.

Jiang Huai poured her a glass of freshly squeezed watermelon juice.

…

After lunch, Luo Qingyu and Jiang Huai cleaned up the dishes and returned to the table, where Jiang Huai took out the mahjong set he had casually bought from Ziyun Pavilion last time.

Cultivators are often bored, with little to entertain themselves beyond their strenuous practice. Jiang Huai remembered that many cultivators’ greatest pleasure was to visit the pleasure quarters at the foot of the mountain, but he had no interest in that, and if he dared, Chu Xianning would probably want to break his legs.

Mahjong tables had been sold at Ziyun Pavilion for a couple of hundred years, and the rules were well understood, so there was no need for Jiang Huai to teach them again. Anyway, it was just to pass the time, and the stakes weren’t high. By the end of the afternoon, Luo Yueguan had won quite a bit, while Jiang Huai and Chu Xianning kept losing money. In the end, Chu Xianning lost ten thousand spirit stones, Jiang Huai also lost ten thousand, and Luo Qingyu won a bit too, happily grabbing Jiang Huai’s hand, ready to go to Tianxuan Sect’s Ziyun Pavilion to buy a pretty dress.

“Together?” Jiang Huai tilted his head towards Luo Yueguan.

So Luo Yueguan followed the two of them, Jiang Huai holding Luo Qingyu’s hand, with Luo Qingyu still hopping and skipping, while Luo Yueguan stood aside indifferently, listening to Luo Qingyu and Jiang Huai chatting softly, trying hard to hide all the complexity in her eyes, fearing Luo Qingyu might notice something.

Ziyun Pavilion had many new summer dresses, with light and smooth fabrics. Luo Qingyu bought a white dress and a pair of strappy high-heeled sandals, and even carefully selected two pairs of cute white lace ankle socks, stealing glances at Jiang Huai with a giggle while making the purchase. Jiang Huai reached out to pinch her rosy cheek and gave her a deep look.

Luo Yueguan just followed them quietly, until Luo Qingyu suddenly took her hand and led her to a dress, asking softly, “Mother, would you like to try this one?”

“Okay,” Luo Yueguan nodded lightly.

She tried on the dress, a light purple gown that made her look even more elegant. But when she looked at herself in the mirror, she suddenly felt like the person reflected was a stranger.

In the end, Jiang Huai paid for everything. It wasn’t much money anyway, and besides, he had Ziyun Pavilion’s Purple Jade Card, which gave him a 60% discount.

When they returned to the courtyard in the evening, Jiang Huai dived into the kitchen to start making dinner, while Luo Yueguan approached Chu Xianning, who was sitting in the pavilion, playing with jade Go pieces on the table. Luo Yueguan looked up at her slightly.

“I’ve kissed Jiang Huai,” she blurted out unexpectedly.

Luo Yueguan could already imagine Chu Xianning’s astonishment and panic. Maybe she would pretend to be calm? Or would she become angry in an instant? She didn’t know what would happen, but she didn’t care. She had been distracted all afternoon, whether playing cards or choosing clothes, thinking over and over about what Jiang Huai had said. Maybe he was right… but she couldn’t bring herself to accept it.

She just loves to go crazy, to be unreasonable, shameless, and simply not likable.

“Uh-huh.” Chu Xianning nodded slightly.

“It wasn’t just a kiss, that time I also trapped him in the bath…” Luo Yueguan’s voice began to tremble, her speech was fast, and the more she spoke, the more excited she became, her eyes full of anticipation as she looked at Chu Xianning. She was hoping for a hint of annoyance or anger in those indifferent eyes, but she was disappointed.

“Uh-huh.” Chu Xianning nodded again.

This was not the reaction she wanted.

Chu Xianning just looked at her calmly and then asked, “I understand. Dinner is still a while away, shall we play Go?”

As if she didn’t care at all about what Luo Yueguan had said, this made Luo Yueguan’s expectations fall through, and the smile on her lips stopped abruptly. After a moment, she suddenly thought of the reason, “Has Jiang Huai… already told you?”

“Yeah.” Chu Xianning nodded lightly.

A wave of dizziness suddenly came over her, and Luo Yueguan felt the world spinning around her. It was as if she heard the sound of something quietly shattering, an indescribable sourness welled up in her heart, as if she had become a joke again, a self-deprecating joke.

She stared blankly at Chu Xianning for a long time before she slowly spoke, “Is it hard to hold back your laughter? Chu Xianning.”

“Should I be laughing?” Chu Xianning looked puzzled into Luo Yueguan’s eyes.

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why do you always get what you want so easily, while what I want… I can never have…” Luo Yueguan started to grind her teeth, her eyes fixed on Chu Xianning in front of her.

“Blame me?” Chu Xianning still looked at her indifferently, “If you’re seriously asking me, then I don’t know the answer either, maybe because I don’t want much.”

“Why? Why do you always seem so carefree, as if you want nothing and you never lack anything… Why do you have such a beautiful face, a good master to teach you cultivation, why does everything go so smoothly for you… while I, while I…”

“You only see what you want to see.”

Chu Xianning’s eyes showed a trace of helplessness, “If you insist on right and wrong, the old wounds from the catastrophe in Moluo City five hundred years ago have limited my cultivation to only reach the Mahayana first-level, and I can’t advance any further in this life. Every time it rains, the pain is unbearable. Now I’m alone in Tianxuan Sect, and the ten thousand spirit stones I lost to you in cards this afternoon have nearly emptied all my savings. My Flower Spirit Body, apart from being a good dual cultivation cauldron, is of no benefit to my cultivation and is plagued by desires. You always say my life is much better than yours, but there are many things on you that I envy and cannot have.”

“You’re just pretending to say these things… What about Jiang Huai? Picking up such a disciple… Is that also your good fortune? You’re just lucky…”

“Did you forget? When Jiang Huai was seven, I asked you if you would like to take him as a disciple, but you refused because you found it troublesome.” Chu Xianning sighed softly.

Luo Yueguan was speechless.

In fact, she knew she was just complaining and going mad. She wished Chu Xianning would curse her harshly now, saying she deserved it or even insult her, but Chu Xianning always had this indifferent demeanor, looking down on everything from above.

“Then why do you consider me a friend? You’ve always been alone, never caring about anyone, but why are you willing to be close to me? Is it because having someone as pitiful and ridiculous as me by your side makes you stand out even more as someone who is above worldly desires?”

“Because five hundred and thirty years ago in the Forest of Ten Thousand Calamities, you saved my life. When the beast tide came and I was seriously injured, you stood in front of me the whole time.” Chu Xianning said softly.

“That wasn’t to save you! It was just because I felt I was so unlucky, I had enough of living, that’s all!”

“I know.” Chu Xianning nodded lightly, “But I owe you for that.”

Luo Yueguan’s lips twitched, and the smile on her cheeks turned pale, “Then will you let me have Jiang Huai?”

“I never said I wouldn’t let you, but I’m not him, I can’t force him to do anything. He told me about you because he also doesn’t know how to make you feel better, so he wanted my opinion. I didn’t stop his actions, I just said that I hope he wouldn’t be led by passion… because I always feel that what you want is never passion.”

“Then what do I really want?” Luo Yueguan asked with a bitter smile.

“Ask yourself.” Chu Xianning answered softly.

“I don’t know… I don’t know… Why do you all tell me to ask myself… I don’t know… I don’t know what I want… If I knew, I wouldn’t keep suffering…”

“But Jiang Huai can’t give you the answer, nor can I. In the end, only you can answer yourself.”

Chu Xianning paused for a moment, “But you really don’t have to be anxious, I’m here, Jiang Huai is also here, many things are suddenly understood in an instant.”

But Luo Yueguan kept her head down for a long time without speaking, and when she raised her head again, the air around her had become extremely cold, with the Cold Qi almost instantly falling over the entire courtyard.

Chu Xianning frowned slightly, and in the next instant, she drew her sword and rose.

At this moment, sitting opposite her was not just Luo Yueguan, but her inner demon.

“You people will never understand… You’re just talking without knowing the pain, Chu Xianning… I want to have a sword duel with you.”

Chu Xianning stood up, looking at Luo Yueguan who was holding her sword, with the Su Xue sword gleaming with a faint cold light.