Even If Your Regret Tries to Hold Me Back - Chapter 31

On the way back, they rode horses instead of a carriage.

He said they needed to return before sunset, so he had chosen a faster means of transportation, but Helena still couldn’t shake the feeling that they were being pursued.

Not that there was anything she could do about it, so she silently followed him.

“We seem to have arrived faster than expected.”

Ian, who had dismounted first, naturally extended his arm and wrapped his hand around Helena’s waist.

This time too, Helena quietly accepted his touch, knowing that staying still was the way to help.

As soon as she placed her hand on his shoulder for support, her body was lifted lightly and brought down to the ground.

“Am I not heavy?”

“Not at all. If you’d allow it, I could carry you around all day.”

She had expected it, but hearing it directly was quite embarrassing. He really seemed capable of saying anything.

Helena looked around to shake off the awkward feeling.

The familiar commotion finally registered in her awareness. It was the shopping district near the inn where they were staying.

Since the exchange office where they needed to return the borrowed horse was a bit further inside, the two began walking while leading the horse.

‘He’s not in a hurry here.’

Unlike in the upper district, Ian was taking his time. Thanks to this, Helena could slowly browse the stalls lined up in a row as they walked.

The displayed goods were all modest things, but she just wanted to blend into the bustling atmosphere of people.

Ian slowed his walking pace slightly to match Helena’s stride.

Before long, the exchange office came into view at the edge of their sight. Around that time, Helena stopped in front of a stall displaying various accessories and trinkets.

‘Huh…?’

One ordinary brooch particularly caught her eye. It was shaped like a thorn bush with red gems embedded at the tip of each branch.

As if entranced, she approached and picked up the brooch, and suddenly a faint pain accompanied by a child’s voice echoed in her head.

[Hurry and go. Tonight the moon is hidden by clouds, so there’s less risk of being discovered. The path is a bit rough, but if you cross through the thorn bush forest and escape, you’ll immediately reach the river that leads to the Srail Sea. I pray for your safe journey.]

[Go, hurry. Don’t look back and run.]

On a dark field, she was holding someone’s hand tightly. She couldn’t recognize the touch, but somehow it seemed like it would have been warm.

‘A childhood memory?’

Wondering if more might come back to her, Helena stared intently at the brooch. But no matter how many times she closed and opened her eyes, no new scenes unfolded.

Usually she lived without paying attention to such things, but occasionally feeling frustrated like this was unavoidable.

Helena felt a bit disappointed at gaining no significant insight and put the brooch back down.

But instead of the hard wooden board’s texture, she felt something soft. An outstretched palm was receiving the brooch instead.

Having apparently finished the transaction while she was browsing, he took her hand as it was and turned around.

And the next moment, her index finger was between his lips.

The sensation of the soft, warm mass was unfamiliar. A gentle tongue slowly brushed against her sensitive fingertip.

Helena stared in shock, unable to say anything. Ian released the finger he had lightly sucked on.

“How can you be so absorbed in looking that you don’t even notice getting pricked? You’re bleeding.”

“That doesn’t mean you had to…”

Instead of answering, he untied the knot of Helena’s cape. The parted fabric was soon gathered again with the thorn bush brooch.

Only after neatly arranging even her outfit did Ian face her, still showing traces of surprise on her face.

“I’ll replace it with real gems later.”

Helena shook off her surprised expression and sighed softly. Really, there was nothing he couldn’t say.

“Don’t obsess over trivial things.”

“Since it’s trivial, I can do it more easily. Don’t imitation gems break down over time? I want you to keep it for a long time.”

“Why?”

Helena asked while wiping the round droplet of blood still beading on her fingertip with a handkerchief she had rummaged from her bag.

“So that every time you look at it, you’ll think of me.”

She never dreamed he would drop another impossible line.

Without realizing it, her movement of pressing her fingertip against the handkerchief stopped.

Helena looked up at him. For some reason, her brow furrowed. She inwardly blamed the dazzling sunset.

“…Are you confessing right now?”

“I’m just saying it wouldn’t hurt to create a small memory or two.”

Ian wrapped the reins around his hand once and then made a request to her.

“The exchange office is just ahead, so I’ll pay the fee and then stop by a general store. Please wait here for just a moment.”

Ian pulled the reins with hurried movements. His broad back gradually disappeared from Helena’s view.

Helena stood in place until his figure was completely out of sight. This was the second time he had left her alone to go somewhere.

And not sneaking away while she was asleep, but leaving her so freely like this.

‘Does he trust me now?’

If he had gained such confidence, how had she come to give him such confidence?

Helena felt uncomfortable, as if she were deliberately pondering a question whose answer was already obvious.

When she sniffled once for no reason, the earthy smell wafted up strongly. The moisture spreading through the air was gradually thickening.

It seemed like a shower was coming soon.

‘I hope it doesn’t rain before he returns.’

Helena thought while looking at the mass of dark clouds rolling in from the distance.

It would be good if they reached the inn before then, but there was no harm in preparing just in case. She looked around, turning her head to find a place to shelter from the rain.

Then she bumped into someone.

“Oh, I’m sorry, miss.”

The man she had bumped into immediately turned around. He quickly apologized after supporting Helena’s arm as she swayed.

He bowed his head so deeply that his blue hair tied up high swayed.

“Are you hurt anywhere?”

“I’m fine.”

When Helena nodded and answered, the man smiled refreshingly, saying he was relieved.

From first impression alone, it was clear he perfectly fit the definition of a cheerful man.

His manner of speaking, expressions, and every gesture radiated a refreshing energy. Even the great sword on his back that exceeded his own height added to that atmosphere.

He tightened the leather belt that secured the great sword across his torso, then looked around just as she had done moments before. His blue hair like a horse’s tail swished back and forth with his head movements.

Helena stepped back a few paces and watched what he was doing.

He narrowed his eyes and looked down the street, then soon scratched his head.

His head turned sharply again.

When their eyes met for a moment, Helena quickly averted her gaze. However, the man approached her without hesitation, taking large strides until he was right in front of her.

Finally, when his shadow fell right before her, Helena reluctantly faced him. Though not as sturdy in build as Ian, he was so tall that she had to crane her neck.

“If it’s not too much trouble, may I ask you something?”

Despite his consistently large movements, his tone was quite polite. There was also a knightly feel from his slightly formal accent.

That didn’t mean she could hide her suspicious gaze. He too seemed to read Helena’s expression and waved his hand as if to ease her guard.

“It’s nothing serious. Actually, I’ve been wandering around this area for two hours because I can’t find my way back to my lodging.”

After letting out an embarrassed laugh, he pointed upward with his finger.

“My companion said to turn left when I see this green shop,”

After confirming once more that it was indeed a green roof, the man suddenly began moving around busily as he explained.

“But I can’t figure out whether that’s left when I’m standing here, or left when I’m standing there, or left when I’m standing over there.”

He crossed his arms and tilted his head. Helena felt like doing the same.

‘Don’t most people understand it as the direction from when it was first explained?’

She had an intuition that his sense of direction was extraordinary. Helena pointed left and right in turn, explaining in more detail than the general level.

“That companion probably meant it based on facing the shop. Besides, if you go this way, you’ll only reach the sea anyway. So left from where you’re standing now would be correct.”

“No wonder, no matter how far I went in this direction, I only saw sandy beaches. I thought my companions had abandoned me overnight.”

The man burst into hearty laughter, then bent down and dusted off his trouser cuffs. Dried grains of sand fell pattering down.

He was truly an honest human figure, wearing evidence of “this is what kind of person I am” all over his body.

“Anyway, this road then?”

The man, having reorganized his attire, pointed to yet another new direction.

Helena suddenly recalled the Grand Ducal knight’s words that one should be careful of people who appear the same inside and out, as they’re either fools or extremely calculating.

…The man before her seemed likely to be the former.

Helena grabbed his arm that was pointing in the wrong direction and guided it to the correct one.

“No, this road.”

“Ah, I see. Phew, I really must arrive properly this time.”

He cheerfully agreed without showing any sign of embarrassment.

Though it probably wouldn’t be much help, Helena also took out a map from her bag and gave it to the man.

After receiving her confirmation again and learning the direction, he briefly disappeared into an alley. When he reappeared, he was leading a horse by his side.

Helena didn’t know much about horses, but even at a glance, it was clearly a very precious breed.

Its large eyes were clean without a speck of dirt, and its golden mane flowed with luster, showing it was a well-cared-for fine horse.

The man who had leaped onto the saddle by stepping on the stirrup patted the horse’s flank.

“Helios, let’s go.”

The horse whinnied softly as if responding. The man greeted her without losing his cheerful smile.

“Thank you, kind miss.”

He lightly urged the horse by pulling the reins and galloped along the road. Fortunately, it was the correct direction.

Still, worried he might veer off course midway, Helena watched the gradually distancing golden and blue horse’s tail.

Just as she was about to continue watching until it became a small dot, a tickling breath suddenly brushed against her cheek from behind.