Even If Your Regret Tries to Hold Me Back - Chapter 39

Helena reflexively shouted out.

“We’re not married!”

Unfortunately, the old man already held firm belief in his assumption.

“You must still be awkward since you’re newlyweds, but you’ll get used to it gradually. The world isn’t as stuffy as it used to be. There’s nothing wrong with showing that you love each other.”

Ian’s coughing sound burst out once more. Though he covered his mouth with his hand, the tips of his exposed ears were dyed bright red.

Given the old man’s stubborn attitude, it seemed that the more they denied it, the more weight they would only add to his misguided belief.

Helena turned the conversation back to the forest.

“Anyway, since it’s a forest dominated by magical beasts, it would be impossible to cross through here to get to the village.”

“Don’t even dream of it. That would be completely insane.”

Fortunately, the old man followed her intention well. Perhaps due to the disasters he had experienced, he spoke with somewhat excited gestures.

“Just the day before yesterday, I heard news that some madman got lost wandering in the forest and barely survived, but that was heaven’s help. It was only because Gelda’s subjugation party happened to be in the forest at the time.”

“There’s a subjugation party?”

Ian, who had recovered from his choking throat, joined the conversation. As usual, his face was composed and neat without any dishevelment.

Though a faint pink color remained on his nape and earlobes that weren’t completely covered by his robe.

The old man looked up at him and answered.

“No matter how much we petition the lord, he won’t provide any countermeasures, so a subjugation party commissioned separately by the village guild is mainly active. Though the forest is private property, even the lord turns a blind eye to them. After all, it’s not good to have magical beasts increasing within the territory.”

“Hiring a subjugation party privately would cost considerably.”

This time Helena asked. The old man’s gaze came back down diagonally.

“That’s why we hesitated at first too. But the guild said they’d only charge minimal costs, so not to worry. They said the hides and fangs obtained from subjugating the magical beasts would be more than enough to cover it.”

“Still, it’s work that risks their lives… They must be grateful people.”

“Indeed. Even though they speak roughly, they’re good people.”

Helena knew this too, as it wasn’t uncommon for knights to be dispatched for magical beast subjugation matters even in Evergale.

Magical beast subjugation was one of the commissions that paid large bonuses due to its danger. Of course, there were also knights who volunteered willingly if they had the skills, since there was nothing to worry about.

But people who charged in without particularly expecting compensation like this guild…

‘…There was one person.’

[I searched and chose the prettiest one from the seaside. Will you accept it?]

The seashell that emitted a mysterious color when placed under sunlight.

Walter’s face was kind as he always returned with a gift for her clutched to his chest whenever he participated in regional subjugation battles.

Helena had long known that he was projecting the daughter he had lost long ago onto her. But even that was affection, so she couldn’t refuse it.

In the end, she accepted it knowing the consequences that clumsy affection would bring. So that too was deception.

‘…Eugene was like that too.’

Until he met Natasha.

“…You two are also lucky.”

What brought her back to the present from her brief detour was the old man’s voice repeatedly emphasizing how fortunate it was.

“If you had gone just a little deeper, you would have disappeared from the world without anyone knowing. You did well to stop around there.”

The old man stroked his chest as if it were his own matter.

Was the place we stopped exactly at the boundary line? Helena was newly amazed by Ian’s intuition.

She grabbed Ian and turned her back to the old man for a moment.

“Are you really the head of a merchant guild?”

When Helena asked in a whisper, he bent his upper body toward her. His ears had now returned to their normal color.

“Are you still suspicious?”

“Otherwise, how could an ordinary merchant detect the aura of magical beasts as soon as he entered the forest?”

“Rather than detecting magical beasts specifically… I detected danger. The foundation of commerce is investment, and the basis of investment is risk analysis.”

“What nonsense. I miss the man who was embarrassed like a fool just moments ago.”

“When did I…!”

Ian immediately tried to refute, but the old man who liked to interfere was faster.

“Now, don’t bicker like a married couple and get along well. Sometimes, when the breeding rate spikes, some of them burst out of the forest—so you’ve got to stay sharp out there.”

Ian and Helena simultaneously turned around and opened their mouths to correct the unending misunderstanding.

“Listen, old man—”

“We’re really not that kind of—”

However, the old man wasn’t looking at the two of them. He pointed to an area separated by a small hill and said.

“Ah, there’s the subjugation party passing by.”

A group on horseback stopped in front of a clearing connected to the forest in the distance. They tied up their horses and each grabbed their weapons. Then they entered the forest without hesitation.

Only after seeing the last person disappear into the forest’s shadows did the old man look away.

He adjusted his bundle with a grunt and bid farewell to the two.

“I’m leaving the village, so unfortunately I can’t go with you. If you just follow this road straight, the signposts will keep guiding you to the village, so there’s nothing to worry about. Well then, I wish you a safe journey, lovely newlyweds!”

The old man moved away without correcting the wrong title to the end.

Soon only a cool breeze circulated between Ian and Helena.

Helena looked once at the horses and luggage tied in the clearing, once at the dense forest, and finally at Ian.

It wasn’t particularly to cut through the awkward atmosphere. She simply opened her mouth first because she had finished organizing her thoughts.

“Let’s go in.”

“…You still haven’t given up.”

Ian frowned and met Helena’s eyes.

She could feel an undertone suggesting she had chosen the path of being torn apart by magical beasts as a new suicide method. Helena let out a light sigh.

“It’s not what you’re thinking.”

“Then why do you say such things?”

“I never said let’s enter the forest.”

“…?”

To him, who continued to be unable to grasp the situation, Helena raised her clear gaze.

“Let’s join the guild.”

****

Natasha paced back and forth in the room anxiously. Her neatly arranged crescent-shaped fingernail tips became blunt between her grinding teeth.

The reasons people become impatient are mostly similar.

When something seems within reach but isn’t. When it runs away the moment you think you’ve caught it. And when what you’ve already caught disappears.

Natasha had come to Evergale to become such an existence to Eugene. However, she didn’t know that Eugene would become the same meaning to her.

Just as that woman had become to Eugene.

‘Letting caught prey escape is not my way.’

Natasha looked down at the skull-patterned dagger she habitually gripped.

‘I mustn’t betray expectations.’

She tried to steel her resolve by stroking the protruding relief with her thumb, but it wasn’t easy.

The last contact she had made with Eugene was to cut away the bothersome butler and aides who were thorns in her eyes.

Even though she had only seen it through the small communication device screen of barely two spans, his reaction was clearly embedded in her mind.

The cold, drawling voice, the dejected gaze, the warning wrapped in sweet address.

‘That was indifference… Why? How is it possible to cast me aside this quickly?’

Natasha bit her already bumpy, distorted fingernails again.

‘Even if I changed the plan… this won’t work. Not yet. It’s too early, sooner than expected. I need to hold on longer.’

Her feet, which had been striding across the carpet without noticing her slippers had come off, stopped abruptly in front of the mirror.

When she raised her head, a woman with an innocent face was looking at her.

A woman who knew nothing, seemed infinitely weak and in need of protection, beautiful and fragile.

In the end, the answer was obvious.

‘Trees can be replanted, and people can be brought back.’

Wasn’t that what Eugene had taught her?

Natasha slowly raised her right hand. The diamond ring on her middle finger was particularly brilliant. Sharp enough to be a dangerous weapon against tender skin.

However, Natasha didn’t care and swung her hand.

Smack!

With a sharp slapping sound, her head whipped around.

Smack!

Her consecutively struck cheek began to swell. It became so puffy and red that blood droplets formed. But Natasha didn’t stop and continued raising her hand.

Smack! Crack!

Her smooth blonde hair became disheveled and obscured her vision. A blood droplet hanging from the diamond tip fell and stained the ivory carpet. Only then did Natasha stop.

“Huff, huh…”

Her shoulders heaved up and down as she breathed. It was breathing as rough as the sudden frenzy. When she raised her head again, there was a completely different woman in the mirror from moments before.

“I decide my own usefulness, Eugene.”

Facing the two eyes that fiercely harbored poison, Natasha shouted.

“Not you, you are my usefulness!”

After the single scream passed, insane laughter filled Natasha’s face. Laughter that didn’t match her appearance burst out intermittently.

She turned her ruined cheeks this way and that, fondling them with satisfaction. Then this time she grabbed her right arm as if to break it.

Her vivid green eyes looked around as if searching for something. Her gasping breath had settled evenly.

Natasha muttered in a gentle tone as if coaxing a child.

“To bring him back… I have to go myself. Such a high-maintenance man.”

Her wandering gaze reached the piano placed against the wall and stopped. Natasha approached it without hesitation. She opened the keyboard cover finished with maple wood, sat down, and placed her arm underneath it.

Soon there was a dull sound of something hard breaking.

****

“……”

Instead of giving an opposing answer as Helena expected, Ian only blinked his eyes.

She could see short but not brief thoughts passing through in that short time. Perhaps, being a merchant, he was calculating profit and loss.

Only after blinking about five times did he move silently.

Helena followed behind him as he began walking toward the village and asked.

“Are you giving permission?”

He answered while adjusting her position to the roadside, as far from the forest as possible.

“What’s there to permit or not permit? You said you want to do it.”