Even If Your Regret Tries to Hold Me Back - Chapter 40

“What’s there to permit? You said you want to do it.”

“That’s really all it takes?”

“Well, what more is needed?”

Helena was momentarily dazed by the strange answer. It was easier than she had thought. Suspiciously easy.

Perhaps living in a guild would make it easier to hide his identity from those who were pursuing him.

But even so, it was him. He was someone who would block her approach if he detected even the slightest dangerous element, whether it was a person, object, or situation.

So Helena, feeling somewhat bewildered, asked back.

“But… didn’t you always oppose my requests?”

“They were always difficult requests.”

“Are you saying that asking you to stop worrying about me is a more difficult request than hunting in a forest teeming with magical beasts?”

“Well, everyone has different priorities.”

He smiled, pulling up the corners of his mouth.

Helena truly missed the man with red ears from just moments ago. This composed and shameless man was burdensome for her to travel with in many ways.

‘…And overwhelming too.’

While walking and exchanging trivial conversation, the first signpost that the old man had mentioned appeared.

Helena took out a map from her bag and handed it to Ian. While he alternately checked the signpost and map, she muttered in a complaining tone.

“I hope I wasn’t ranked that high on your priority list.”

Ian, having finished his check, entered the path between the hills and returned the map to her.

“Do you want to know?”

Along with a mischievous smile that somehow looked cunning despite his clearly handsome face.

Helena firmly refused, lest he continue the conversation.

“No.”

“You’d be surprised if you knew.”

“I said I’m not curious.”

“Later, even if you’re curious, I won’t tell you.”

“Please keep it to yourself for the rest of your life.”

Ian chuckled and extended his hand to Helena.

Since they had forcibly made a path while avoiding the forest as much as possible, the terrain was somewhat rough.

The steep slope looked like she might fall if she wasn’t careful. Helena had no choice but to take his hand and slowly descend.

Though they descended the same slope, his legs were as solid as stakes. Even when she lost her balance and her entire body leaned against him, he held her steady without wavering.

‘Do merchants become strong from their work?’

While pondering this question inwardly, they walked for quite a while until the second signpost appeared.

Helena squinted her eyes toward the direction the wind was coming from. In the distance, she could see several wisps of smoke rising.

If they moved diligently, it seemed they could reach the village before sunset.

Ian again carefully confirmed their route and chose one of the branching paths.

Not long after, a shallow stream crossing the hill blocked their way. It seemed the water had risen due to the recent continuous rain, so he took Helena’s bag and carried it on his back.

“Actually, I’m not sure if this is the right decision.”

Then he began to naturally express the true feelings he had been swallowing throughout their journey.

“Guilds are groups no different from mercenaries. They’re just settled in one place. Therefore, their roughness will be distinctly different from ordinary people, and since each person must do their part to maintain the guild, the missions you’ll be assigned won’t be easy either.”

“…I wanted to belong somewhere where I could hold a sword without it being strange.”

“I know. That’s why I kept pretending it was okay, but inside I’m extremely worried.”

Despite the babbling sound of flowing water, his voice was clearly audible. It wasn’t that he spoke particularly loudly either.

Helena looked down at him as he began rolling up his trouser cuffs and expressed her doubt.

“Then why didn’t you stop me earlier?”

“Because I only had one choice I could make anyway.”

Having finished adjusting his hem, he straightened his bent back. His eye level shot up high again.

To her, who still couldn’t erase her puzzled expression, Ian declared:

“I will definitely enter the guild with you.”

Then he suddenly grabbed Helena’s waist from behind and lifted her onto his shoulders.

Helena reflexively let out a short exclamation. When she came to her senses, she found herself sitting on his shoulders as if they were a chair.

It was better treatment than the potato sack from before, but she was scared because of the considerably increased height.

Having experienced this several times before, she knew that the thick arms wrapped around her legs were sufficiently solid, but she was still anxious. Eventually, Helena sought more certain stability by wrapping her arms around his neck.

Ian stepped into the stream and said with satisfaction.

“Now you’re not resisting. I was prepared to be kicked.”

“Anyway, I only have one choice I can make.”

He laughed again at her answer. It wasn’t something she said to be funny, but he kept laughing.

Helena became even more displeased because she found herself thinking that his laughter sounded pleasant.

Whether he knew her feelings or not, he continued talking.

“Do you know something?”

Even though he was carrying a heavy bag and an additional person, Ian’s voice didn’t contain a single rough breath.

Though displeased, Helena felt reassured and loosened her grip slightly from her arms that were wrapped around his neck like a noose. The splashing sounds of water were gradually subsiding.

“What?”

Since it was originally a small stream, the opposite bank quickly approached. As he set her down on a rock that wasn’t wet, Ian exhaled lightly.

“This is the first time you’ve proposed that we do something together.”

“…….”

He knew something that even Helena herself didn’t know. He knew too well what she didn’t need to know.

So Helena remained speechless until he put the bag he had taken back over her head.

‘Isn’t it?’

She found a handkerchief from inside the properly adjusted bag and handed it to him. Then she answered sulkily.

“I don’t know.”

Because now she knew, and because she didn’t want to admit his words at face value.

Ian didn’t mind and accepted the handkerchief Helena offered. He lightly wiped his wet legs with it, pulled down his trouser cuffs, and promised to wash and return it when they reached the village. Helena shook her head.

“It’s nothing much, so just keep it.”

“I have to return it so I can borrow again next time. Opportunities for conversation are originally created this way.”

“…Crafty.”

“Usually people say I’m resourceful. I’m glad you seem to be learning about me bit by bit.”

Why wasn’t that annoying smile unpleasant to look at?

Helena finally admitted as they passed the last signpost toward the village.

That face was originally good-looking no matter what expression it wore.

****

Dairon wasn’t as large a city as Futuo. However, once they entered the central district, the scenery was similar. The shops lined up along the bustling streets and the noisy crowds.

Helena sat blankly in a cafe, watching the people passing by.

Ian was at the village information center located next to the cafe, looking for an inn to stay at tonight.

His figure was visible through the glass window. He was having various conversations with the shop owner. Helena unconsciously bit her lips.

‘I feel like I should do something.’

She knew he wasn’t someone who pressured others to hurry. But she couldn’t always leave everything to him and just wait.

Helena looked around and entered a nearby tavern. To gather information, the higher the foot traffic of a place, the better the chances, and there was no place better than a tavern for that.

Since it was just as dusk was beginning to fall, the interior was quite bustling. Helena quietly approached the bar table.

When she ordered a cocktail along with a tip, a young bartender soon came with the drink. Helena opened with natural conversation topics and then asked about the guild.

He explained kindly, but didn’t hide his curiosity either.

“Seeing that you’re asking about the Partren Guild, you seem to be an outsider… Do you have some business there?”

“I want to join the guild.”

The hands of the man who had been wiping glasses during their conversation stopped for a moment.

“Why, why? Unless you’re homeless and living a wandering life…”

“…….”

Helena affirmed with silence. He cleared his throat once and quickly added:

“Ahem, hmm. But how about looking for other methods? Guilds are too dangerous. Especially the Partren Guild – you’d better avoid it since they mainly take requests for hunting magical beasts.”

“…This is where I arrived after only running away. And because of that reason, I want to enter the Partren Guild.”

It was when Helena answered quietly.

“Puhaha! Everyone look here! This woman says she’s going to catch magical beasts too!”

A large man who had been quietly listening nearby pounded the table and burst into loud laughter.

The men in the tavern who turned to look at her due to the sudden loud laughter also giggled.

“What nonsense is that? Stop talking rubbish and go to that tea house over there to chat.”

“Hey miss, men don’t really like rough and willful women. If you were born with such a pretty face, live smartly.”

“Hahaha, she seems too drunk to think straight, leave her be. Maybe she’s been drinking to forget the pain of a broken heart.”

Sarcastic remarks poured from all directions, but Helena simply stood her ground silently.

There was only one person who could hurt her with words and glances alone. So this level of insult was nothing.

Moreover, it was true that her appearance didn’t inspire enough trust to accept hunting requests.

However, there was something she wanted to give, even with such an insignificant appearance.

The conviction that she would not become a burden of a woman, at the very least.

Helena picked up the knife that was placed on the plate the man had been eating from. The knife spun gracefully and settled between her fingers.

The man was still laughing as if he might pass out. Helena swung her hand toward him.

Thwack!

The blade that grazed past the man’s face immediately lodged into the back wall.

“Wh, what…”

The man, frozen like a statue, raised his trembling hand to feel his chin. Cut beard fell like dry straw.

Before he could even understand what had happened, Helena murmured quietly.

“Women don’t really like dirty men. If you have an ugly face, at least live cleanly.”