Even If Your Regret Tries to Hold Me Back - Chapter 49

“That’s definitely right. I’ll have just this part re-tailored and bring it back.”

A moment later, Ian moved behind her and untied the knot he had bound. As the shoulder straps that had been pressing against her lungs disappeared, Helena quietly exhaled the breath that had risen up.

The texture of leather felt under her fingers was still unfamiliar. Like the tension that now filled her stomach with a dull ache.

Helena had to muster somewhat more courage than usual to meet his eyes.

However, just as she was about to speak, Ian opened his mouth first.

“There’s no need to thank me. Flam ordered it.”

“…….”

Helena’s slightly parted lips closed. It was probably his consideration, but that wasn’t what she had been about to say. But if it could just ease the tension in her stomach, it didn’t matter either way.

So she looked down and spoke again.

“Thank you anyway.”

She barely managed to hold back the words that were about to burst out like a sneeze.

‘Why are you being so kind to me?’

What am I to you, anyway?

****

Tap, tap, tap.

The sound of dry wood hitting against each other echoed through the room. The chair that was the source of the sound was precariously tilting back as if it might fall over, then returning upright in repetition.

Elai leaned his head against his clasped hands while pushing and pulling the table with his right foot.

Eden, who was sharing the same table, spoke without taking his eyes off the open book.

“If you’re that worried, just go.”

Elai answered without opening his closed eyes.

“Nonsense.”

At the curt voice, Eden let out a short sigh and turned the page.

Tap, tap, tap.

The dry striking sound continued after that. Eventually, Eden spoke in a more resolute tone.

“Then I’d appreciate it if you’d leave since you’re being disruptive.”

Only then did the rocking chair come to a stop. Elai opened his eyes, unclenched his hands, and lowered his foot from the table. Then he blinked and stared blankly at Eden.

It was more like a gaze sorting through thoughts rather than expecting any particular reaction from him.

Of course, even after staring for a long while, nothing changed. The bookworm never ended up making eye contact with him.

So Elai stood up from the chair entirely. It was a big movement as he pulled his body away from the backrest, but his fluid motions made it hard to notice.

“Acting stubborn when you were going to go anyway.”

Of course, it was still an annoying movement to someone sensitive.

Eden adjusted his glasses and finally looked up. He quietly watched Elai preparing to leave through the glass lenses.

Always pretending to be detached, pretending not to care. Even though he spoke that way, Eden knew he carried just as much worry and sense of responsibility.

Either way, Elai Penhaugen was the sword of the Rihalt Empire, the captain of the Imperial First Knights. He probably wore that lightness to bear the weight of it all.

He was someone who had earned his place by Ian’s side through skill alone, regardless of background or the influence of powerful families.

“I’m leaving things to you.”

…Though his occasionally loose sense of duty, like now, was a slight flaw.

But since things had never gone wrong when he stepped up, Eden readily accepted.

“You know where they are?”

“How many years have I been watching that tadpole? I can roughly figure it out.”

Elai slung his bag strap over his left shoulder and rummaged through the luggage Odyssey had left behind. Soon, Odyssey’s hefty money pouch was replaced with Elai’s meager one.

Eden looked at him with disapproving eyes.

“Does it feel good stealing a kid’s snot-covered money?”

Elai paid no attention and stuffed the money pouch into his bag before strapping his sword to his waist. His shameless self-justification poured out without hesitation.

“There are three flaws in your statement. First, Odyssey isn’t a kid.”

This time he took white ciabatta bread and fig jam from Samte’s belongings.

Everyone misunderstood because of his build, but Samte had quite decent taste. So this would be excellent food that would satisfy both his tongue and hungry stomach.

Elai opened the lid and briefly savored the scent of the fig jam as he continued.

“Second, it’s not snot-covered money but a considerable sum earned through sweat.”

The bag, lumpy with various items, was flattened when Elai patted it a couple of times.

Now he turned his attention to Eden’s belongings. Naturally, he was refused as if there was no chance.

Of course, Elai wasn’t discouraged. He slapped the cover of the book Eden had been reading to close it with a thud and headed toward the door.

“Third, I’m not stealing, just borrowing temporarily.”

A fierce glare shot from Eden. Ignoring it, Elai struck a match against the oil lamp wick mounted on the upper wall to light it.

His face was nonchalant as he swept back the blonde hair that had fallen to the center of his forehead.

“Reading tiny ant-sized letters in the dark all the time will ruin your eyes.”

“Better than losing your mind like you do. Don’t come back after losing your memory again.”

At Eden’s sharp criticism, Elai made a light snorting sound. Despite touching on his weakness, he maintained his smooth attitude.

He simply picked up the lamp handle and moved it closer to Eden while changing the subject.

“You should start moving too as soon as you communicate with the southern reconnaissance unit. We need to reunite Sir Cedrick with his lord before he withers away.”

“So you do have enough sense left to remember that.”

“What do you think I came all this way for? The imperial palace is too boring.”

“Kill that disgusting taste for blood.”

Elai didn’t answer, just smiled broadly.

He looped the bag straps around two fingers and swung it over his shoulder, then turned around without any particular farewell.

Soon the sound of the closing door passed. Eden pushed the bookmark he had placed earlier and reopened the book.

‘That beast bastard… it’s about time he let off some steam.’

****

It was an autumn afternoon with bright sunlight.

The yellow earth spread across the training ground had been heated and was radiating the warmth it had absorbed throughout the afternoon. But there were two figures moving across it without care.

“If you back down here, you’ll get hurt. Hold on!”

“You’re just too strong!”

Thwack! Thud!

The sound of wooden swords clashing continued endlessly, and dust clouds rose hazily.

The sparring that had started under the pretext of training for beast subjugation. Helena, who had begun lightly saying not to go easy on her, was now serious and giving her all.

Ian, who had readily agreed saying he understood, was also earnestly facing her. He relentlessly struck at Helena in combination attacks, gradually driving her toward the edge of the training ground.

‘At this rate…!’

Helena gritted her teeth and deflected the attacks but was gradually reaching her limit. Eventually, her right foot, which had been stepping backward, left the training ground and stepped on the ground outside the yellow earth.

Then the heel of her left foot, which she was moving next, got caught on the small ledge that marked the boundary. Since all her weight was leaning to one side, her body fell backward before she could regain balance.

Ian quickly extended his arm.

“Oh no.”

He caught Helena’s arm to support her and pulled her sharply toward him. Helena, whose flow was broken and whose legs had lost strength, was drawn along.

With the momentum added, Helena tumbled almost face-first into Ian’s chest and let out a brief groan.

“Ugh.”

Ian released his arm once she regained her balance. Helena placed her hand on Ian’s chest, which was rising and falling with slightly quickened breath.

Rough iron, sweat, and a hint of mint. The masculine scent struck her face strongly.

Helena pressed her palm firmly to push away and slowly escaped from his embrace.

Her nose, which had bumped into him, was slightly reddened. Seeing this, Ian burst into laughter. Helena’s eyes sharpened.

“You did that on purpose.”

“You must be mistaken.”

Ian cupped Helena’s cheeks in his large hands with a face trying to suppress laughter. Even while carefully turning her face this way and that to examine her skin, Helena’s glare continued.

Ian still kept his palms on her cheeks and brushed the reddened bridge of her nose with his thumb as he added.

“…Probably?”

The voice that came from his lips, with the ends smoothly curled up, was no different from that mischievous smile.

Helena let out a dissatisfied sound that contained protest. Her plump lips, pressed between Ian’s palms against her cheeks, moved slightly.

Why was it so hard to look away from that small movement?

‘Don’t be conscious of it.’

Ian struggled to look away and completely released her. However, his wayward gaze was naturally trying to go there again.

Having no choice, Ian turned his body around entirely. He lightly kicked up the end of the wooden sword scattered on the ground with his toe and caught it. Then he recalled the original purpose.

“Overall, you were excellent. Your technique and speed are comparable to Odyssey’s – nothing to criticize. The number of exchanges you maintained without interruption was considerable too.”

Helena, who had escaped from both his grip and embrace, walked alongside Ian. He didn’t look at her as he was busy tapping the wooden sword on the ground to shake off the dirt.

Helena caught her breath once and asked.

“Who is Odyssey?”

Only then did Ian look up.

“Ah… like Sakin, he’s a knight belonging to my merchant group. He has the same red hair as you.”

Ian glanced sideways at a corner of the training ground. Sakin was there, having lost his way and discovered the two people, now crouching on the ground.

Glancing at him, Ian got to the point.

“But Helena. In the sparring just now, how many times do you think the tip of your sword touched me?”

“You were even counting that?”

“Think carefully.”

“It was too hectic…”

Her words trailed off as Helena’s expression became strange. Looking back, she couldn’t remember the sensation of hitting flesh rather than hard wooden stick.

As if to confirm this, Ian shook his head sideways.

“Not once.”

“…That can’t be.”

Helena’s mouth opened slightly. Though her face showed some shock, Ian didn’t stop and made her aware of the facts.

“Your avoidance tendency is too strong. You’re instinctively avoiding confrontation. So while you’re specialized in defense, you’re disadvantaged when it comes to attacking someone. You’ve never attacked anyone before, have you?”