Chapter 73: He Yimo, You Did That On Purpose, Didn’t You?!

He Yimo was now officially spinning tales with a completely straight face. Total, unadulterated bullshitting.

Back in his previous life, playing the game, when he did the Snow Village questline, he’d also initially assumed the safe combination would be some lucky number related to the Nine-Colored Deer. He’d spent ages trying different things, getting nowhere. Eventually, following the clues led him to ransack the virtual village chief’s house, where he finally found a busted old calendar in a nightstand with the “eldest son’s” birthday circled in red. Seriously. Peak lazy game design logic, He Yimo could only call it ridiculously contrived… but, thinking about it, kinda made sense? Since the village chief probably built the damn basement.

The trick was knowing when not to reveal everything. He Yimo could plausibly pretend to know the Deer’s birthday, but pretending he magically knew the village chief’s son’s birthday? That’d be way too suspicious. So now, reborn and too lazy to go through the whole ‘search the village chief’s house’ rigmarole again, he just rolled with Yun Jin’s guess and improvised a convoluted explanation.

“Ooooh! I seeeee!” Yun Jin’s eyes were wide with admiration, gazing up at He Yimo. This… abstract… yet somehow logical-sounding reasoning was completely blowing her innocent little mind.

Just then, the golden Sacred Mark on He Yimo’s hand pulsed happily again.

`Oooh! Ooooh! So that’s why!! ^^`

Wait, why are YOU buying this crap too?! He Yimo pressed a hand to his forehead internally, exhausted. He genuinely felt it was a cosmic shame Yun Jin and Wangxue hadn’t ended up together. Seriously, the two of them… talk about a pair of prize-winning simpletons. In a weird way, maybe not giving Wangxue to Yun Jin was the right call. Yun Jin was already naive and trusting enough; add Wangxue the ditzy deer into the mix? They’d be like… some kinda cartoon bear duo, stumbling through life. Sigh.

“A-Alright, alright, ” He Yimo sighed, giving up on correcting either of them. Let them believe whatever they wanted. “Let’s just… pack up the loot, okay?”

But staring at the dazzling array of precious antlers and other materials filling the safe, Yun Jin hesitated, looking troubled. “B-But… all this stuff… the Snow Village people collected it over so many years… worshipping the Divine Deer… It feels… wrong…”

“Relax, grab ’em.” He Yimo waved a dismissive hand. “The villagers are… gone. Leaving this stuff here would just be a waste.” He casually picked up a bottle of powdered deer antler and shoved it into Yun Jin’s already full arms. “And we… as travelers from afar… as investigators on an Immortal Alliance mission… as wandering heroes seeking justice for the Snow Village massacre… I’m sure the kind Deer God wouldn’t mind! In fact,” he declared grandly, voice full of righteous conviction, “I bet the Deer God wants us to make good use of her… uh… legacy!”

`LEGACY?! HEY! I’M STILL ALIVE, YOU JERK!` Wangxue shrieked indignantly in his mind, resuming her angry ear-assault. `MEEEEEEH!`

He Yimo pointedly ignored her, switching into full ‘vacuum-cleaner’ mode, grabbing everything he could reach while also stuffing Yun Jin’s arms even fuller with valuable herbs and components.

“O-Oh… R-Really…?” Yun Jin stammered, overwhelmed by the sheer volume of treasures now piled in her embrace. She’d never seen so many priceless items in one place, let alone held them. She looked completely lost.

Just then, He Yimo’s sharp ears picked up faint noises from the basement entrance tunnel. Movement.

He instantly sped up his looting, pulling out his Storage Ring and efficiently sucking everything from the remaining cabinets into it in mere seconds. Fwoop! Fwoosh! Noticing Yun Jin struggling to hold everything without a ring of her own, he extended his ring towards her pile too. Fwoooooosh! All her loot vanished into his ring as well.

“Eh? EEEEEEHHHH?!” Yun Jin stared, bewildered, as the entire basement was suddenly empty, her arms suddenly light. She looked at He Yimo, completely flabbergasted.

He Yimo finished the sweep, slid the ring back onto his finger, and gave her a calm, reassuring smile. “Don’t worry~ These are gifts from the Deer God, remember? I won’t hog them all. I’ll split them with you fair and square back at the sect, promise~♡”

“N-No! That’s not… I wasn’t worried about the split…” Yun Jin mumbled awkwardly, blushing. She’d actually been about to ask if maybe… just maybe… taking everything was a bit much? Shouldn’t they leave something for the others…?

But before she could voice her concerns, she saw He Yimo raise a single finger to his lips – Shhh! – while his eyes flickered meaningfully towards the basement entrance. Gotcha.

Tap… tap tap… shuffle…

As they stood there silently, the distinct sounds of multiple footsteps grew louder from the tunnel outside, accompanied by the faint, unmistakable sound of Chen Jianxin complaining about something.

He Yimo quickly pulled out one small, inconspicuous bottle of the antler powder he’d ‘confiscated’ earlier and pressed it into Yun Jin’s hands.

“This, ” he whispered intently, leaning closer, “is what we found today. Our only success.”

“This powder… see?” he continued, his voice low and serious. “It takes ten Nine-Colored Deer antlers… processed through ten ridiculously complex refinement steps… just to make one tiny bottle of purified essence like this… It’s unbelievably rare! We searched this entire basement, opened so many locked boxes inside locked boxes… like nested dolls… and this… this one small bottle… was all we could find.”

“Yun Jin…” He finished, giving her a knowing, conspiratorial smile. It was warm and gentle… but held a definite undercurrent of dark amusement. That meaningful, ‘convince-the-innocent-girl’ look… If he’d been wearing gold-rimmed glasses, he could have easily passed for some kind of charmingly psychopathic villain from a novel. “…You understand… right~?”

For a split second, Yun Jin’s eyes widened as the implication finally hit her. Gasp! A deep blush spread across her face at the thought of the lie, but she looked into He Yimo’s eyes, saw his determination, and nodded seriously, clutching the small bottle tightly. “R-Right! Understood, Yun Jin understands!”

CLANG—!!!

(Outside the basement door…)

“DAMMIT!” Chen Jianxin roared, slamming his boot against the heavy basement door again. “This thing’s locked tight from the inside! UGH!” The reinforced steel door didn’t even rattle. Gritting his teeth, he took a few steps back, then waved impatiently at the other disciples crowded behind him.

“Senior Sister Jiang! The rest of you! BACK UP! Give me some space! Watch THIS!” He drew the massive greatsword from his back, gripping it with both hands, planting his feet, and starting to channel his energy, gathering power for a massive strike. Hnnnngh!

Jiang Jinyue, standing back with the others, pressed fingers to her temple, looking utterly exasperated. `Seriously?` she thought tiredly. `Can’t you just… not be so extra? You’ve been kicking and shoving at it for ages! Just let me— Ugh. Never mind.` Seeing him already powering up for his ‘grand finale’, Jiang Jinyue knew it was too late to intervene. She just had to stand there and wait for the inevitable (and likely unimpressive) result. Sigh.

“HYAAAAAH—!!!” Chen Jianxin bellowed, unleashing his stored energy and lunging forward, swinging the greatsword in a mighty arc—

—Just as the locked door was violently kicked open from the inside.

THWACK—BONG!!!

Instead of hitting the door, Chen Jianxin’s forehead connected squarely with the edge of the rapidly opening steel panel. WHAM! The force of the impact sent him reeling backwards, slamming him face-first into the stone wall beside the doorway.

He Yimo stood calmly in the now-open doorway, lowering the foot he’d just used to kick the door open so hard it embedded itself slightly in the wall. He nonchalantly brushed off his clothes, then looked out at the stunned crowd with an expression of mild confusion.

“What’s wrong?” he asked innocently, blinking. “Why’s everyone staring at me like that?”

“I heard someone rudely kicking the door over and over, ” he continued, his brow furrowing slightly. “Figured you guys must be in a real hurry to find me or something… So? Why so quiet now? Cat got your tongues~?” He looked around curiously.

The disciples’ gazes, however, kept flickering nervously towards the wall behind the open door. He Yimo followed their line of sight, glancing back as the heavy steel door slowly swung back from the wall… revealing Chen Jianxin slumped against it, a massive, rapidly swelling lump blossoming on his forehead. The impact had been so forceful it had actually cracked and dented the stone wall where his head hit.

Thump!

Chen Jianxin slid bonelessly to the floor. He lay there twitching for a second, then pushed himself up, trembling, his eyes wide with fury and pain as he glared murderously at He Yimo.

“HE YIMOOOOOOO!!!” he shrieked, his voice cracking. “YOU… YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE, DIDN’T YOU?! ADMIT IT!!! AAAARGH!!!”