For Some Reason The Girl Who's Too Popular Only Drinks with Me - Volume 1 Chapter 4.6

“Coat!”

Hamasaki Mai shouted. At that moment, I finally realized she wanted her coat, and hesitantly offered it to her.

I expected her to snatch it roughly, but surprisingly, Hamasaki Mai took the coat normally.

“Let’s go.”

With a brief word, Hamasaki Mai, with her free hand, pulled on my arm. Looking up at her face, although she seemed angry just a moment ago, now she looked incredibly sad.

It’s like a little child throwing a tantrum, trying to drag a parent away.

I simply nodded and followed her quick pace, trailing behind her.

***

“Wait! Just wait a second!”

After leaving the restaurant and entering the underground entrance to the station, I finally reached my limit and shook off the hand Hamasaki Mai had been holding.

Although I’m taller than her, she has considerably longer legs. If she strides ahead with large steps, I have no choice but to half-jog to keep up with her.

Suddenly running left me out of breath. Taking deep breaths, the stagnant air of the underground filled my lungs, causing discomfort, but somehow, I managed to calm myself down.

Having finally settled my feelings, I was able to look at Hamasaki Mai. She stood with her face downturned, her glossy long hair covering it so that I couldn’t see her expression.

“…Why?”

With her face still downturned, Hamasaki Mai squeezed out a voice. It sounded as if she was on the verge of tears, frail and thin.

“Why don’t you say anything back when you’re being spoken to like that! Isn’t it humiliating to be talked down to like that, to have such awful things said to you!? I was humiliated! I was so angry! What’s with that guy! He doesn’t know anything about Kirishima-kun! Yet, to say such… such things… it’s awful.”

By the end, her voice was choked with sobs, and she downturned her face again.

Hamasaki Mai was angry. At Kadowaki-kun, who had spewed venom. At me, for silently accepting it.

I couldn’t help but think it wasn’t worth getting so angry about. Not because I felt sorry for Kadowaki-kun, but simply because I thought it wasn’t something worth her anger.

After all, I’m not worth getting angry over.

I’m such a coward that even a slight retort whitens my knuckles as I grip my pants, bracing myself.

Just voicing an opinion, a rebuttal, leaves me parched. Anxiety turns me somewhat stuttery.

Even though I’m usually sarcastic and harsh to my seniors, facing someone like Kadowaki-kun renders me unable to utter a single jibe.

Though I pretend to be indifferent to violence, the fear of being hit keeps me from talking back.

I am weak, sad, and not worth protecting.

“It can’t be helped. Like I said before, I’m just that kind of person. It’s humiliating, hurtful, and painful, but I have to endure it. Enduring and then forgetting is the easiest way.”

To my words of resignation, Hamasaki Mai slowly averts her gaze. Leaning against the wall inside the station, she covers her face with her hands—

“Sniff, sob…”

She quietly begins to cry.

“Wait! Wait a sec! Eh? Why? No, why?”

Why is Hamasaki Mai crying?

Just because I was verbally abused, just like always, bullied—why does it make someone unrelated like Hamasaki Mai shed tears?

If she cries here, it looks like I made her cry.

“Because Kirishima-kun won’t cry… even though it must truly hurt, it must be suffering. You never cry for yourself.”

So, I cry instead. Hamasaki Mai says, sobbing in front of me.

I’m left stunned, unable to do anything but stand still as she cries before me.

It seemed like I made her cry, but it was true. My weakness made Hamasaki Mai cry.

My pitifulness, misery, and weakness made her cry.

Kind people are cruel. Sensitive people are reckless. I’ve always thought so since high school.

Those who can be kind to others easily comfort them, indifferent to whether that kindness becomes pain or leads to weakness, smiling carelessly.

I thought it was the worst. I was ashamed of myself for not being able to respond honestly to that kindness.

I wanted to disappear right then, every time I was treated kindly.

Sensitive people easily empathize with others’ pain. Whether they understand that pain or not doesn’t matter. They find supreme joy in being close to others.

I thought it was the worst. I shunned myself as an outcast from society, unable to accept compassion, feeling like a hideous beast.

So, I even harbored resentment towards Hamasaki Mai crying before me— at least, I was supposed to, but seeing her quietly shedding tears, I truly felt warmth in my heart.

I became warm.

Because I never thought there would be someone who would cry for me, I was genuinely happy.