For Some Reason The Girl Who's Too Popular Only Drinks with Me - Volume 1 Chapter 5.5

I was speechless at Hamasaki Mai’s determination.

Her will was strong and straightforward, a stark contrast to my day-to-day wallowing and miserable existence.

“I thought, maybe, I should try to change a bit. Maybe I’ll end up hurting someone, or maybe I’ll get hurt instead. But as long as I can save myself, that’s okay.”

She added, somewhat self-centeredly, and laughed.

Faced with her earnest smile, I couldn’t help but snort in self-derision.

“That’s not bad, you know? It’s okay to prioritize yourself a bit. If anyone complains, you just don’t need to bother with them.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Maybe that’s the way to go… Hey, Kirishima-kun?”

“What is it?”

“I think, Kirishima-kun isn’t ‘that kind of person.'”

As she spoke, Hamasaki Mai’s face softened into a gentle smile.

I couldn’t grasp why she suddenly changed the topic or what she meant by that, and for a moment, I looked at her seriously before reverting to my usual sullen expression.

What did she just say? What aspect of me did she touch upon?

“After all the terrible things people have said to you, after all the hurt, and yet you’ve lived without hurting anyone or giving into despair, right? Kirishima-kun, you’re incredible. A kind person. Someone who can empathize with others.”

She spoke fluently, effortlessly, and I internally screamed for her to stop. That’s impossible. I’ve lived my life believing in the opposite. After all this time, such convenience doesn’t exist.

I am “that kind of person.” A miserable human being living at the expense of others’ misfortune—I kept telling myself that, to save myself.

If, by any chance, I’m not “that kind of person,” then what was everything up until now? Where did all the pain from being oppressed go?

I’ve suffered all this time. My life is meant to be filled with suffering.

Please don’t say such things. You, who know nothing about me, have no right to deny me.

“That’s why, Kirishima-kun, I hope you’ll start taking better care of yourself. Save yourself.”

Feeling the weight of the bag she handed me, I wanted to throw it away right then.

***

On Christmas day, after a ridiculously busy shift at work, I dragged myself home exhausted.

Discarding my shoes, I trudged over and collapsed onto the futon that was laid out.

This Christmas was warm.

Apparently, the temperature differed by four degrees compared to last year, encouraging more people to go out despite the season.

It shouldn’t matter to someone like me—though I wish I could say that, unfortunately, it does.

People who live with their families or have partners don’t come to work today. They’re busy with family obligations or dates.

So, someone like me, with no friends, no partner, and no plans on Christmas, ends up working a shift like this.

The cinema where I work is especially busy on days like Christmas, with couples and families coming to watch movies, attracting more than double the usual customers.

The customers double, but the staff is nearly halved. It’s no wonder it gets busy.

Well, staying home with nothing to do, it’s better to earn some money working. Better than wasting time—I curse my past self for thinking that as the busyness was unbearable.

“Maybe I should eat something before meeting up with the seniors.”

The time was around 4:40 PM. The circle’s Christmas bash was set for a vague time after 6:00 PM or 7:00 PM, probably starting whenever Sugino-senpai and Mikami-senpai arrived.

Eating something so my stomach isn’t empty is crucial, but I shouldn’t eat too much. The drinking party with the seniors will have good food and plenty of alcohol. Mikami-senpai isn’t great with alcohol, and we can’t get Hamasaki Mai too drunk, so food will be served at a steady pace to keep the atmosphere going.

And with alcohol being poured liberally, it’s common to end up vomiting. Since becoming a university student, I’ve become unsettlingly good at making myself throw up. If anything, it’s a somewhat collegiate skill.

With that in mind, I open the fridge to find something to eat.

Empty. Just sports drinks and eggs. But, upon closer inspection, there’s a mysterious box in a translucent bag at the back.

Reaching out, I retrieve the chilly box, stretching and voicing a long “ah…” in my room.

Removing the box from the bag, I place it on the low table, about to inspect the contents when I notice a small card tucked into the opening flap. I retrieve the card first, then proceed to open the box. As suspected, inside is a cheesecake. A cheesecake made by Hamasaki Mai, and it’s an entire whole one.

Even though it’s small, giving someone an entire whole cake seems excessive. Usually, isn’t it one or two pieces?

Regardless, it’s perfect for a snack. Eating it now means I can mention it to Hamasaki Mai later.

I cut a quarter of the cheesecake and eat it by hand. The refreshing tang, sweetness, and appropriate richness make it akin to a store-bought cheesecake.

But is cheesecake really the right choice for Christmas? I thought the orthodox choice was a shortcake.

“Kirishima-kun isn’t ‘that kind of person,’ I think.”

I recalled what Hamasaki Mai said when she gave me the cheesecake.

Why did she suddenly say that?

Was she pitying me? Or did my cynicism irritate her?

Either way, I regret to say, but my stance probably won’t change in the future.

Or should I, like Hamasaki Mai, be more positive and proactive? Could that make me a beloved figure by all?

I know the answer. It’s impossible. It’s futile to hope. I’ll only end up being rejected and hurt as always.

I chewed on the cheesecake mindlessly. This wasn’t made specifically for me. It was likely made on a whim with leftover ingredients for a friend, too precious to discard. Thinking positively about it is foolish.

I swallowed the cake without thought, finishing the portion I cut. This should keep me from getting sick if I suddenly start drinking.

As I was about to clean up the remaining cheesecake, a small card caught the corner of my eye. I brought over the mysterious card that was attached to the box, but it had nothing written on it. Flipping it over, I found it was designed to be opened.

Inside the handmade paper case was a folded piece of paper.

A curse letter, a bill for materials, or maybe a QR code for a spam account? I unfolded it, and there was a message from Hamasaki Mai.

“I can’t help you, but we can drink and laugh together. From now on, too.”

A message for me. I read the concise sentence over and over, searching for its real meaning.

Why did Hamasaki Mai address this to me? Why offer hope when the same moments may not recur?

I don’t understand. I don’t want to understand. If I do, I might have to change.

It’s scary. Understanding this message frightens me. It feels like something irreversible could happen. I’m truly scared.

This must be my misunderstanding. It has to be. Ignore it. Pretend you didn’t see it. Then you can continue living as before. You won’t get hurt.