I Finished Saving the World, But Then I Picked Up a Girl With Amnesia - Chapter 28

How wretched can love truly be?

Let me share a tale from a certain girl’s past.

Liliamila Guildenstern was born the only daughter of a distinguished family known for producing generations of accomplished mages. She was raised with an abundance of love from her parents, doted upon by her elder brothers, and grew up healthy and carefree, never wanting for anything.

To strengthen ties between families or perhaps in hopes of producing offspring with even greater magical potential, Liliamila had been betrothed from a young age. Her fiancé, blessed with both noble lineage and exceptional talent, was neither arrogant nor boastful. He was gentle, calm, and loved Liliamila more quietly and deeply than anyone. Liliamila, in turn, adored him.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, my darling Lilia.”

One day, he was struck by a carriage.

He was gravely injured, on the brink of death. His leg had been severed, blood gushed out, and his injuries were so severe that no one believed he could be saved, no matter how much healing magic was used.

Had he died then, perhaps Liliamila would have lived out her life as an ordinary girl. However, upon seeing the lifeless body of the man she loved, Liliamila neither screamed nor lost her composure. Instead, she focused solely on healing him.

“I won’t let you die. Absolutely not.”

And so, the man who was supposed to die survived.

It was a miracle. A testament to the power of love, they said. Everyone praised Liliamila’s healing magic. Amidst the blessings and compliments, Liliamila and her fiancé’s bond grew even stronger.

The Guildenstern family proudly declared that they had produced the finest healer mage of their lineage. The news spread throughout their city, and following this incident, Liliamila chose the path of specializing in healing magic, dedicating herself to becoming a healer mage.

However, for some reason, Liliamila wasn’t particularly gifted in healing magic. She wasn’t entirely untalented, but her aptitude was, at best, mediocre. Her mentors, puzzled, eventually discovered her unique talent during a lesson involving experimental rats.

A rat that had been completely dead came back to life.

“Young Miss, your talent is not in magic. That is ‘sorcery.'”

No matter how much effort or dedication a mere mage might exert, sorcery remains forever out of reach unless it is inherently carved into one’s very being. It is an extraordinary and unattainable power.

The Guildenstern family, overjoyed by the birth of their first sorcerer, celebrated with great excitement. Her brothers, rather than feeling jealous, sincerely praised her. Above all, her fiancé, who had been saved by her power, was captivated by Liliamila’s hidden gift.

“Your sorcery is my pride, Lilia.”

“And I feel the same. That I was able to save the man I love with my first act of sorcery will forever be my life’s greatest pride.”

Upon reaching adulthood, plans for Liliamila’s wedding ceremony were finalized. She continued to research and refine her sorcery, her days filled with purpose and happiness. Undoubtedly, this was the most blissful time of her life.

Then, it happened. Her fiancé collapsed. This time, it wasn’t from external injuries. He had been afflicted by an incurable illness, a disease for which no treatment methods were known at the time. The sickness began to slowly consume his body. While everyone around her gave up hope for his recovery, Liliamila alone refused to abandon him. She was determined to save the life of the man she loved.

“I won’t let you die. Absolutely not.”

Once again, the man, who had drawn his last breath, was revived when Liliamila touched him.

It was another miracle. A testament to the power of love, they said. Everyone praised Liliamila’s sorcery. Just like before, amidst the endless blessings and compliments, Liliamila and her fiancé’s bond seemed to grow even stronger…

“…Cough.”

“Huh?”

At least, it was supposed to.

In truth, while Liliamila’s sorcery could bring him back to life, it could not cure him. Though he came back, his body remained afflicted by the illness, and Liliamila’s power could not treat it.

“I won’t let you die. Absolutely not.”

Even so, Liliamila Guildenstern did not give up.

Each time he died, she touched him and revived him. Over and over, no matter how many times it happened, she brought him back. Simultaneously, she desperately searched for the cause of his illness. She didn’t limit herself to magic, either. She spent vast sums of money to acquire any herb that showed the slightest promise, concocted remedies herself, and had him drink them. She sat by his bedside, cutting fruit to feed him and reading him cheerful books.

“It’ll be okay.”

She spoke as much to herself as to him.

“You’ll definitely get better. Because I love you. As long as I’m here, you won’t die. I won’t let you!”

“Lilia…”

When they embraced tightly, she felt reassured. When they kissed, she felt at peace.

Even if, in the midst of these moments, his weakened body gave out again, Liliamila could touch him and bring him back.

Liliamila was a girl of unyielding determination. Even as his family stopped visiting the sickroom and his existence became a taboo topic, she never wavered.

Thus, it wasn’t Liliamila who reached her limit first. It was him.

“That’s enough.”

“Huh?”

“That’s enough, Lilia.”

“What’s wrong, my love? Today, I’ve prepared a remedy using a famous Eastern herb—”

“Don’t touch me!”

His voice, louder than she’d ever heard, shocked her into dropping the fruit knife she had been holding.

In her sixteen years of life, this was the first time she had been yelled at. The first time he had rejected her.

“Cough, cough…”

“…You shouldn’t strain yourself.”

“…I’m sorry for shouting.”

As if his outburst had been a lie, he doubled over, coughing weakly. Gently, she placed her hand on his bony back, stroking it. His body, little more than skin and bones, felt lifeless, like that of the undead she had repeatedly revived.

“Lilia, I have one request.”

“What is it? Please, tell me anything. Whatever it is, I’ll make it happen!”

“Thank you.”

For the first time in months, he smiled softly, a look of true relief.

“Kill me.”

For the first time in months, she couldn’t maintain her smile in front of him.

“What… are you saying?”

“I can’t do this anymore. I’m scared. More than anyone, I know my own body. I know it won’t get better. Even if I come back, I can’t truly live.”

Covering his face with his hands, he continued speaking.

“I don’t want to die anymore. Over and over, again and again… I don’t want to die anymore.”

Stunned, Liliamila stared at her hands.

She had thought her efforts would pay off if she worked hard enough. That if she didn’t give up, she would succeed. She had believed her “sorcery” was a miraculous gift, blessed by the gods.

But in the end, her power couldn’t even save the life of the man she loved.

“Kill me, Liliamila.”

“I-I can’t.”

“This is my final wish. Please.”

“I can’t! I refuse!”

His body slipped off the bed.

Like a child, Liliamila shook her head and fell to her knees on the floor.

“…I see no other choice.”

She only noticed the fruit knife on the floor after it had already spilled blood.

“A-ah… aaahhh!”

The white clothes she had chosen for him, thinking they would suit him and make him as comfortable as possible, slowly turned crimson.

With strength unimaginable for someone so sickly, he held the knife to his throat.

“Wait, please wait! I’ll—”

“Stop. Don’t come closer.”

He didn’t die instantly.

As blood gushed from his lips, he glared at her with fading eyes and spoke.

“Never… touch me again.”

Why?

Why?

I love you so much. I love you so much it hurts.

And yet, I can’t even touch you.

“I…”

She thought she shouldn’t hear it.

That if she did, something inside her would break.

But she didn’t close her ears. She didn’t stop herself from hearing his final words.

Because they were the last words of the man she loved.

“I wish I had never loved you.”