I Went Back to Being a High School Student Again, but I Was Rejected by My Childhood Friend, Whom I Thought Was In Love With Me, So I tried to Suicide With the Most Beautiful Girl In the School. - Chapter 30

Language of Flowers

　It’s the second day of the festival.

　As promised, I went around the festival with Iori, as I had promised Natsuki.

“When you said, [Let’s go around the cultural festival together today], I honestly thought, [What are you talking about?]. But, being together was fun, and it made me happy… Thank you, Akki.”

　After the festival, before heading home.

　Iori said this to me with a slightly embarrassed look.

　After the next day, I was not shunned by my classmates as I had been in the second semester of my third school year.

　With Natsuki, Iori, and with other classmates, it went smoothly this time.

　However, I no longer talked to Koyoi and didn’t even make eye contact with her… I didn’t care about the rest as long as she didn’t bother Natsuki.

　Other than that, the only other change is that…

　There are people who care about me more than before.

“Gen’no, I heard you threw up and collapsed at the festival. Are you okay? “

　During recess, I was walking along the corridor from the classroom building to the laboratory building when Atsuta-sensei approached me.

“It was just a little lack of sleep, there’s no problem.”

“It’s a big problem if you’re so sleep-deprived that you throw up… “

　Atsuta-sensei let out a sigh.

　I couldn’t tell the truth, so I just made a vague response.

“Are you still working part-time, by any chance? “

“I quit my part-time job.”

“I hope so. I’ve said it before… you can always come to me if you have any problems.”

　Atsuta-sensei said with a wry smile.

　――I thought he was meddling unnecessarily.

　There are definitely people who need more concern than me.

“…There’s someone who you should be more concerned about.”

　I said, and Atsuta-sensei raised an eyebrow and said.

“Is that so? I don’t remember seeing a student at this school who looks more precarious than Gen’no recently.”

　Hearing those words, I bit my lip.

　He was probably right.

　I died, came back to life, and died again.

　Not many high school students have more desperate problems than I do.

“…If something happens, I’ll rely on you immediately.”

　I said honestly.

“…have you got your cell phone on you right now? “

　Atsuta-sensei said to me.

　Since it is permitted to use them on school in case of emergencies, carrying a mobile phone is not prohibited.

　I took my cell phone out of my pocket.

“Yes, I have it…?”

　Atsuta-sensei suddenly mentioned his phone number.

“This is my phone number, save it.”

“…Then, I’ll save it later.”

“Save it in front of me.”

　He didn’t give an inch.

　I gave in and registered his number in front of Atsuta-sensei.

“Okay, that’s it. If something happens, contact me anytime, regardless of whether it’s a day off or not!”

　Atsuta-sensei said, and the chime rang just in time.

“Look, it’s time to move to the next class. Hurry up, or you’ll get scolded!”

“But Atsuta-sensei was the one that was holding me back, you know…? “

　I said resentfully.

“Sorry, sorry.”

　He laughed lightly and walked to the classroom building.

　I put the phone with Atsuta-sensei’s contact information back in my pocket and walked towards the laboratory building.

　…Even though he’s a l*licon who puts his hands on his students.

　Atsuta-sensei is a good person.

　But even if I explain my insane reality to him and ask for his help, he won’t believe me.

　Instead, he’ll think I’ve finally lost my mind and worry about me.

　But…

　Even though I won’t consult with him, knowing that there are people who care about me…

　I feel determined to graduate safely.

* * *

　Then came the days of studying hard for the entrance examination.

　I didn’t have to study hard because I remembered most of the contents of the examination through this repetition.

　I spent my days communicating frequently with Natsuki, while observing my classmates living their daily lives with a sense of tension.

　Then.

　Before I knew it, we had finished the second semester and Christmas Eve arrived.

“Chisu! (ちっす)” (Greeting.)

　I call out to Natsuki at our meeting place, the usual family restaurant.

“Ossu ( おっす).”

　Natsuki casually responded, and I looked at her.

　We usually meet in school uniform, but today she is in casual clothes.

“Are you more dressed up than usual? It looks good on you.”

　I ask Natsuki, who is sitting opposite to me.

“Annoying, you stupid.”

　She said shyly and kicked me on my shin.

　Seeing me wince in pain, Natsuki called a waiter.

　After that, we had lunch together, studied together, and left the family restaurant.

　Then we took the train and headed towards the city.

　It was the first time for me to go to the city with Natsuki.

　While making casual small talk on the train, I asked her about something that had been bothering me.

“Has Koyoi been mean to you since the day of the festival? “

　The relationship between Koyoi and me has already been broken.

　I don’t think Koyoi will mess with Natsuki out of jealousy, but there is a possibility that she might take it out on her out of spite.

“Not really… but, are you two still fighting?”

　Natsuki, who had been flipping through English vocabulary cards next to me, looked up and answered.

“Yeah. So, if Koyoi bothers you again, could you just ignore it and tell me right away?”

　Natsuki said, [Well, okay.] and then said.

“Do you have no intention of making up?”

“It’s impossible.”

　I answered her question immediately.

　 I knew that all the fault lay with me, but still… I couldn’t forgive Koyoi.

“Hmmm. I don’t know what caused it. I’m glad to know that when someone makes you angry, you hold a grudge.”

“For Natsuki, it’s useless knowledge that serves no purpose in life.”

“Wow, brings back memories of ‘Trivia no Izumi’…” (TN: JP comedy game show.)

　After Natsuki muttered that, we started talking about trivia that made an impression and was memorable for each other.

　The time to the destination station felt like it passed in an instant.

* * *

　After getting to the station, we walk for a few minutes.

　We entered the busiest downtown area in the prefecture.

　However, we had not made any plans for what we were going to do.

“I haven’t made any plans, is there anywhere you want to go? “

” …I thought you were going to escort me? “

　When I conveyed my apologies to Natsuki, who grinned mischievously, she smirked and said,

“Take me to the game center.”

“Sure, but is there a game you want to play? “

“…Mario Kart, I’ve always wanted to play it, but I was embarrassed to play it alone.”

“You didn’t have to tell me why you wanted to play that game, though.”

　Natsuki’s words were amusing, so I teasingly said so.

　She seemed embarrassed and wore a slightly angry expression, then she chopped my side.
　

　I brushed it off casually, then we entered the largest game center.

　First, we played Mario Kart as planned, then wasted some money on the crane game, where Natsuki made fun of me. After that, we enjoyed various games together――

“This is the first time I’ve taken a purikura photo (photo booth)… “.

　Natsuki and I took Purikura pictures together.

　She looked very nervous, but I guess it was because it was her first time.

“Next time, you’d better take a picture with a smile on your face.”

　When I teasingly said that, Natsuki frowned and seemed to think for a moment and said….

“Will you take another photo with me next time?”

　Blushing, she asked me with a more nervous expression than what was captured in the purikura.

“Of course. Let’s take another one after the exams are over.”

　In response to my words, Natsuki’s lips curled into a smile, and she nodded.

* * *

　After the sun went down, we left the game center and decided to have dinner.

　We had made reservations at a rather trendy restaurant popular among students and finished our dinner there.

“…What should we do after this?”

　Natsuki asked me after we left the restaurant.

　I answered.

“I have a place I want to go. Can you come with me?”　

　She nodded enthusiastically.

　We walked for a few minutes side by side and arrived at our destination.

“…beautiful.”

　Natsuki murmured as if entranced.

　What I wanted to show her was the most famous illumination in the prefecture.

　As Natsuki was captivated by the colorful lights, I told her.

“You can’t see such magnificent illumination even in Tokyo.”

　I said to her mockingly, and she looked at me with a startled expression.

　I expected her to say something like, [For a rural area, you unexpectedly have something pretty good.] in her usual tone, but she suddenly smiled.

“…that’s true. I may have never seen such a beautiful illumination even in Tokyo.”

　Surprisingly, Natsuki said that honestly.

　Her profile, illuminated by the glamorous lights, somehow appeared incredibly adorable to me.

　While she was still captivated by the illumination, I took out a gift from my bag and offered it to her.

“Since you always help me with my studies, I wanted to express my gratitude…here, a Christmas present.”

　Natsuki was surprised and accepted my present.

“Um… thank you. Can I… open it?”

　I nodded silently.

　She carefully unwrapped the gift.

“…wow, it’s so beautiful,”

　Natsuki looked at the herbarium of Gentian plant specimen I had given her and marveled at it.

“The flower language for Gentian flower is [Victory]. It’s a good luck charm for the entrance examination.”

“Ah, thank you. I never thought I would receive such a wonderful gift…”

“By the way, the gentian flower is also a popular gift for Respect for the Aged Day, symbolizing [Overcoming Illness.].”

(TN: Respect for the Aged Day, It is a Japanese festival celebrated on the third Monday of September of each year. It is a national holiday in Japan that people celebrate by spending time with their elderly relatives or/and friends.)

　Hearing my words, Natsuki glared at me with a stern expression and said, [Did I really need that information right now?]

“….I was foolish to expect a romantic development from you.”

　Natsuki chuckled and then pulled out a small wrapped bag.

“Here, from me too. Thank you for always being there with me.”

　Saying that Natsuki handed me the bag.

　I accepted it, a little surprised since I had never received a present from her on Christmas.

“Can I see what’s inside?”

　
　It was a cell phone cleaner strap in the shape of an ema (votive tablet) with the words [Pass] written on it.

“Thank you… I’m really happy,”

　I said and immediately put the strap on my phone.

“You’re welcome.”

　Natsuki replied and smiled shyly when she heard my words.

　…Seeing that expression, who would think that she would commit suicide in the near future?

　And yet, I know.

　The day before the graduation ceremony.

　Natsuki will fall into despair and decide to end her life.

　I can’t eliminate that trigger.

　However, this time, the other trigger, the bullying towards Natsuki, no longer exists.

　Natsuki’s mental burden should be lighter than before.

　She may still consider suicide this time… but I should be able to make her think that it’s a shame to die.

　First, I must let Natsuki survive.

　As for the resolution of the subsequent problems, I can think about it later.

　This time, I’m going all out without any tricks.

　When Natsuki falls into despair and desires death.

　I will sincerely convey to her that I still want her to live――

“W-why? …Say something!”

　Natsuki asked me with a serious expression as she looked at me.

“There’s something I want to tell you after the exams are over. Will you listen to me?”

　Hearing my words, Natsuki looked at me with a blank expression on her face.

“Okay… “

　After she responded with a murmur.

　She smiled and looked very happy.