I Went Back to Being a High School Student Again, but I Was Rejected by My Childhood Friend, Whom I Thought Was In Love With Me, So I tried to Suicide With the Most Beautiful Girl In the School. - Chapter 34

Relief

“What!? Akki!? “

　I heard a voice calling my name as I continued to cry.

“Oh no, your face is a mess! What happened? Can you stand up?”

　The owner of that voice pulled me up by the hand and helped me sit on a bench.

　I glanced at her from the corner of my eye.

　Who was this person again…?

“Wow, it looks painful… Towa’ll wet a handkerchief and be right back. Wait for me, Akki.”

　Towa? ..Ah, I see, it’s Iori. Why is she here? …No, it doesn’t matter.

　After saying that, Iori wet the handkerchief at the water tap and pressed it against my swollen face.

“I think it’s better to cool it down with ice…? There’s a convenience store down there, so Towa’ll go buy some. Wait here, Akki.”

　She stood up.

　I guessed she was worried about me…

“It’s none of your business.”

　I say to Iori.

　She muttered, “I see,” and sat down next to me.

“So, what happened?”

　Iori doesn’t seem offended by my words.

　She asked me a question, but I didn’t feel like answering.

“I just passed by a girl who looked like Koyoi earlier. Was it really her?”

　I didn’t answer her question.

I didn’t talk to her because I thought I might have mistaken her for someone else. This time, when I saw a seriously messed up person crying, I thought, [Oh no, I don’t want to get involved,] and it turned out to be you, Akki. Isn’t that crazy?! What’s wrong with you? “

　I didn’t respond to her words.

“Akki broke Koyoi’s heart, and then angry Koyoi beat up Akki. Akki didn’t really understand why, but he felt guilty and just went along with it… But getting punched still hurts, and he feels miserable, so he ended up crying like that, I guess? Do you want Towa to comfort you?”

　Even though I knew I had no intention of answering, Iori continued to ask me questions one after another.

　I was getting irritated.

“Just leave me alone.”

　I just wanted to be alone.

　I don’t want anyone else to step into my heart anymore.

　No more prying, no more sympathy.

“I won’t leave you alone.”

“Why?”

“Why? I mean. Akki, you’re crying right now.”

　Saying that, Iori wiped away the tears flowing down my cheeks with the handkerchief she had been pressing against my swollen face.

“When someone is in pain, and someone is by their side, it can be a great relief, you know? That’s why Towa is here by your side.”

　Iori peered into my expression and smiled gently.

　――I didn’t want to be seen by those eyes filled with kindness anymore.

　No matter what, all they can see is only my own misery.

“…I am not a person who deserves to be treated so kindly! “

　I shouted.

　Iori remained silent, still wearing the same compassionate expression.

“I’m a terrible person. I ignore people’s feelings for my own sake and use them! I can resort to violence without any remorse and yet pity myself as if I’m the only one suffering… I’m a person with a flawed personality who always makes everyone around me unhappy!”

　I glared at Iori and continued.

“――And the same goes for Iori. To me, Iori is just a foil for Koyoi. I taught her, went on dates with her, and went around the cultural festival together, all to make Koyoi jealous. I didn’t… feel anything for Iori!”

　I was fed up.

　From my mouth, which had stopped pretending, only selfish words came out.

　Iori must have been disillusioned with me.

　So be it. Just walk away.

“But Towa was saved by Akki, you know?”

　However, Iori is still by my side.

　Even though I said terrible things to her.

　Still, she happily said these words to me.

“If Akki hadn’t told me to stop bullying Natsuki, Towa would have escalated even further. I’m sure Towa would have continued to do even worse things to Natsuki.”

　Iori said, looking into the distance.

　Certainly, in my first life, the bullying against Natsuki had escalated.

“If Akki hadn’t told me to apologize to Natsuki together, Towa’s heart would have been numb, eventually unable to feel anything even if she did terrible things to others.”

　She says it as if she is convinced that she is that kind of person.

“Towa is foolish and easily sways to the easier path. Just like Natsuki said, she would eventually commit heinous crimes without a care in the world. And then, of course, she would get caught immediately because she’s an idiot. Still, she wouldn’t admit her own wrongdoing and selfishly shout that everything around her is wrong… and end up becoming such a despicable adult.”

　…I know that Iori’s words are not wrong.

　But I wasn’t involved with her because I was thinking about Iori’s sake.

“That’s all… But all… all of it! It was something selfish I did without thinking about anyone, just because I was irritated seeing Natsuki being bullied! I didn’t think about Iori even a tiny bit! Don’t thank me! Please, don’t make me feel any more miserable!”

　Iori doesn’t listen to my pleading.

“Supporting Towa, who was bullying Natsuki while feeling disgusted towards herself, telling her that she doesn’t have to force herself to like men. Worrying about the crying Towa after apologizing to Natsuki. All of it… all of it! It’s Akki, you know?”

　Iori says that and embraces me.

“Akki used Towa, it might be true. But during the time we spent together, Towa truly felt Akki’s consideration. The warm feeling she felt at that time… Akki can’t deny that either.”

　After saying that, she gently strokes my head.

“Thank you for saving Towa, Akki.”

” ….. “

　All the time I’ve spent repeating this life, I thought it’s all been for nothing.

　I believed it was just a reminder of my own foolishness and incompetence.

　Maybe… I was wrong.

　Although everything I had done was full of mistakes.

　Still, not everything was wrong.

“Thank you, Iori….”

　Whispering that, I cling to Iori’s chest and cry out loud.

　Her heartbeat, her body heat, her breath gently enveloped me.

“You’re welcome.”

　Iori’s gentle voice reached my ears.

* * *

“…By the way, why is Iori here?”

　Having calmed down my emotions after crying uncontrollably, I finally mustered the courage to ask Iori.

“I had something I wanted to talk to Akki about.”

　She answered, seemingly embarrassed.

“Talk…? “

“Yes. Akki taught Towa a lot about studying, but I took the entrance exam for college without consulting you, right? So, I feel sorry even though you took the trouble to teach me how to study.”

　Iori continues.

“And because I’m used to being by the side of people who are in trouble, like when One-chan drank too much alcohol and needed help or when Akki fell ill during the cultural festival… and even now. I don’t mind being there for someone who is weak, and I’m really happy to be appreciated. That’s why I decided to go to nursing school.”

　Iori explained, sharing her career choice.

　I imagined Iori becoming a nurse… and I thought it was a wonderful decision.

“Iori, you will definitely become a great nurse… I can say that without a doubt since you took such good care of me before..”

“If Akki approves, then it must be certain.”

　Iori teasingly remarked.

　I smiled wryly in response, and she smiled happily.

“But if that’s the case, couldn’t we have talked on the phone or at the graduation ceremony?”

　Looking somewhat embarrassed, she conveyed.

“Ah… I thought it would be romantic if we happened to meet in this place Akki told me about.”

　After saying that, Iori looked straight at me with a serious expression and declared.

“Towa’s feeling toward Akki――I love you.”

　Once before, Iori had spoken those same words to me here with an expressionless face.

　But now, it’s different.

　Her words used to be empty, but now I could feel the genuine warmth in them.

　I was deeply moved by Iori’s kindness.

　It was undoubtedly Iori who had saved me from the depths of agony and despair.

　In response to her words, as I was about to give her my answer――

“But in reality, it wasn’t romantic at all,”

　Iori lets out a big sigh and shrugs exaggeratedly.

“If you get punched by a girl and end up with a swollen face, then crying like a child, and on top of that, scolding people… even a hundred years old love would fade out in an instant, you know?”

　Iori looked at me with dissatisfaction.

“…about that, sorry.”

　I destroyed her first love…

　I felt sorry and bowed my head.

　Iori smiled at me and opened her mouth.

“Hey, Akki. I don’t want you to misunderstand, but Towa’s feelings were genuine, you know?”

“I understand. I will never deny the true feelings Iori had.”

　Upon hearing my words, Iori nodded satisfactorily and continued.

“Akki, if you really like Natsuki… you should properly convey your feelings, okay?”

　Looking concerned, Iori said while peering into me.

　She probably thought I had already told Koyoi something like that.

　But… she was wrong.

　I shake my head and answer Iori.

“My feelings for Natsuki definitely are…. never, ever, something that was beautiful.”

　When I said that, Iori burst out laughing and giggled out loud.

　Wondering what was going on, I looked at her, and she said, [Sorry, sorry.] Then continued.

“Knowing that the feeling of falling in love with someone isn’t just something beautiful… even Towa, who has just had her first love, understands that.”

　I admired Iori’s profile as she said that—she was very beautiful.

　I closed my eyes and pondered Iori’s words.

　I am sure that I have certain feelings for Natsuki.

　It’s a different emotion from the affection I feel for Koyoi.

　The time I spent with Natsuki during high school

　It was filled with agony, despair, regret, and resignation… but it also involved various other complex emotions.

　It’s not something beautiful by any means.

　Still――

“But still… It’s impossible to express this feeling I have for Natsuki with just the word [Love.]”

　Iori smiled at my words and said, [I see.]

“Well, that being said, Towa and Akki will always be friends…! Even after graduating, let me know when you come back here. Let’s hang out together again!”

“Yeah, I promise.”

“It’s amazing, Akki. You don’t even seem to think you would be rejected by your first-choice university.”

　Iori smiled cheerfully and said that then stood up.

　I followed suit and stood up.

“Whenever you’re feeling down, Towa will always be there to help you. Whenever you’re feeling down, feel free to contact me.”

　Iori smiled and said straight to me.

　She must have been worried about me.

　I was truly relieved by those words.

　I turned to her.

　From the bottom of my heart, I said――

“Thank you, Iori.”