I Went Back to Being a High School Student Again, but I Was Rejected by My Childhood Friend, Whom I Thought Was In Love With Me, So I tried to Suicide With the Most Beautiful Girl In the School. - Chapter 36

Saviour

(Mirai Perspective)

　For the sake of my family and society, I was proud of my hardworking father who worked diligently without any complaint, and I was proud of my kind and beautiful mother.

　That’s why I wanted to become the daughter they could be proud of.

　That was all I wanted…but where did I go wrong?

* * *

　When I was in elementary school, every day was so much fun.

　My father was rarely at home, but he would take us on trips during his rare days off.

　Despite not being together all the time, he gave me a lot of love and affection.

[ Even though it’s hard, I want you to be someone who can do what you think is right without being swayed by others. ]

　He always said so.

　I nodded, thinking that if I followed those words, I could surely become their pride and joy.

　My mother was always kind.

　Although I’m now an excellent student, I didn’t originally like studying very much.

　But my mother always wanted to know what I learned at school.

[ Tell me, what did you learn in school today? ]

　At first, I found it bothersome, but when I told my mother, she always seemed so happy.

[ Mother couldn’t go to college because I wasn’t very smart, but with your intelligence, you’ll be able to go to any university you want in the future. ]

　I studied a lot to make my mother happy, and before I knew it,  studying no longer felt like a chore.

　The school was enjoyable too. I had many friends. 

　When I taught my friends who struggled with their studies, they always expressed their gratitude.

　When I called out the boys who were always doing stupid things, they would sincerely apologize.

　If I worked hard at studying and stuck to what I believed was right, I believed I could become the pride of my parents.

* * *

　When I became a junior high school student, I started getting bullied by my classmates.

[ Mirai-chan told me, ‘You have to study harder,’ but I’m trying my best. Mirai-chan is smart, so she doesn’t understand how kids who can’t study feel! ]

[ I don’t like Mirai-chan because she proudly shows off her good grades and looks down on others. ]

　I was just teaching them how to study like I did in elementary school.

　Before I knew it, I was being talked about behind my back like that.

[ Natsuki is too serious for me. ]

[ I know! The other day, I got caught bringing my phone by the teacher, and it was confiscated because of her. My parents got really mad at me. Seriously, it’s unbelievable. ]

[ She’s snitching to get extra credit. She may have a cute face, but her personality is so ugly and gross. ]

　Even though all I did was tell them that it was wrong.

　Why doesn’t anyone understand me?

　My classmates naturally started ignoring me.

　It was very painful, and I asked the teacher for help.

[  Natsuki had her own fault, too, don’t you think? ]

　But they didn’t take me seriously.

　My classmates didn’t get scolded by the teacher, and the bullying escalated to the point of violence.

　I couldn’t tell my parents because I didn’t want to worry them.

　But one day, when I came home covered in bruises, my father and mother noticed the bullying.

　They went to the school and confronted the bullies, their parents, and the teacher with a frightening expression I had never seen before.

　Although I was a little scared seeing that, when they came home, they hugged me tightly.

[ I’m sorry we didn’t notice. ]

　After that, the three of us went to the neighborhood Western-style restaurant that I liked.

　The bullying stopped.

　But until I graduated from junior high school. I didn’t make any friends.

* * *

　I successfully passed the entrance exam for one of the top preparatory schools in Tokyo.

　My father and mother were very happy.

　I also felt relieved because my relationships with the people in junior high school had come to an end.

　Unlike the time when there were stupid people who didn’t understand even if I talked to them, here, there should only be serious and academically inclined people.

　As I had expected, everything was fine during the first semester.

　The diligent students didn’t have time for bullying, and they were responsible individuals.

　I thought that way and was happy.

[ Natsuki Mirai, I like you! ]

[ I think we get along well, so how about going out? ]

[ I can’t live without you. ]

　After the summer vacation, I started getting confessions one after another.

　Despite being constantly disliked and called [ugly in character.], there were many people who liked me.

　Honestly, it made me happy.

　However, since studying was the most important thing for me now, I continued to reject the confessions.

　――It seems that wasn’t a good decision.

[ Isn’t she been getting arrogant lately? ]

[ She’s good at studying and good-looking. That’s why she doesn’t care about us at all. ]

　Before I knew it, I was surrounded by people who didn’t like me.

　I thought it was just girls who liked the boys who confessed to me.

[ I confessed because she has a nice face, but her personality is just too much for me! ]

　However, even the boys who said they liked me were talking behind my back and laughing at me.

　I couldn’t trust anyone anymore.

　So, I consulted with my father and mother about wanting to transfer schools.

[ I see… You worked so hard to get in, but I understand not wanting to be bullied. ]

　My mom and dad were very kind to me.

[ If you want to transfer from your current school, the level will be lower no matter where you go…How about making a big change in your environment? For example――your dad’s old high school? ]

[ A change of environment might be a good idea, but is Mirai going to commute from your grandparents’ home? The travel time is quite long, you know…? ]

[ I don’t intend to leave Mirai alone at Grandma’s house. The rent will be cheap in the countryside, and so that Mirai can focus on university entrance exams, let’s live together with Mom. ]

　When I nodded at my mother’s suggestion, the two of them looked relieved.

　They were concerned about me.

　And I let them down.

　――They were so happy when I entered the school.

　But because of my personality that made me a target of bullying, I ended up causing them unnecessary trouble.

　That was what I couldn’t stand.

* * *

　I had high expectations for this high school because my father graduated from here.

　However, this school turned out to be the worst place I had ever been to.

　I was bullied here as well.

　I wanted to fit in quickly at this school, so I imitated their local accent, but it seemed to bother the students.

[ ――Making a fool of us. ]

　Stupid country bumpkins with inferiority complexes.

　I couldn’t bring myself to talk to my father and mother about being bullied anymore.

　They would probably suspect that the problem lies with my personality.

　I wanted to remain their prideful daughter. I didn’t want to disappoint them any further.

　I decided not to care about anything anymore.

　No matter how much my classmates from the countryside ignored me.

　No matter how badly I was bullied by a group of outdated-stupid-looking gals.

　Pretending not to care, I continued to ignore everything.

* * *

　I noticed that something was off with my mother while I was at school, and she was working part-time.

[ You seem down. What’s wrong? ]

[ At my part-time job… I’ve been told terrible things. How about you, Mirai? Have you made any friends? ]

　I couldn’t possibly tell the truth.

　I didn’t want to cause my already weakened mother any more worry.

[ School is… fun. ]

[ If Mirai is having fun, that’s good… Mom will have to change her part-time job. ]

　After that, my mother changed her part-time job twice, but none of them lasted long.

　In the end, she decided to focus on housework.

　As she spent more time at home, her expression became gloomier, and I grew more worried. 

　However, around the beginning of the year, she started leaving the house more frequently.

[ There’s someone I’ve become friends with! Mom is going out to drink with that person tonight, so I’ll be back late. ]

　I thought it was a good thing that my mother had made friends. 

　Mom, who had been depressed, became brighter and brighter day by day.

　She also started dressing up and taking better care of herself.

　She started spending more nights away from home, and it became normal for her to come back the next morning――.

　I realized that this was probably not a good thing.

　I suspected that my mother was probably having an affair.

　Maybe I should have told Dad right away when I realized it.

　But… I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.

　My mother came here because of me.

　Her infidelity――must be nothing more than a passing fancy.

　Once we return to Tokyo, I’m sure my mother will come to her senses.

　I told myself that and decided to turn a blind eye to the situation.

* * *

　In my senior year of high school, I continued to endure the worst days.

　Constantly being bullied in the classroom, I searched for a safe place where I could be alone.

　The landing of the stairs in front of the rooftop.

　A dusty and dark place, lacking any sense of cleanliness.

　After realizing that hardly anyone bothers to come to this place, I started spending my lunch breaks here.

　My world revolved within this small, dark space.

　But… deep down,  I was waiting for someone I could trust to show up.

　I noticed a padlock on the door leading to the rooftop.

　――If I were to unlock this padlock, would someone someday come and release me from this enclosed world, taking me to a place where the sunlight shines?

　After snickering and dismissing such thoughts as impossible――I decided to open the lock.

　The padlock is of simple construction, and I open it without much trouble.

　I stepped into the rooftop.

　The sky was vast, and the wind brushed against my cheeks.

　I felt that my world had expanded a little, but――that was all.

　There was no one else here but me.

　No one tries to enter my world.

　It only served to deepen my sense of loneliness.

* * *

　Day by day, the bullying by those idiotic girls escalated.

　It was raining that day.

　After school, I always left the classroom as if escaping.

　I didn’t want to be late and get into trouble with those foolish gals.

　But… even that became exhausting.

　I’m not needed by anyone.

　There’s no meaning to my existence.

　That’s how I’ve been feeling lately.

　So, amidst the pouring rain, I stepped onto the rooftop.

　I climbed over the railing and looked down.

　I wanted to confirm which was stronger: the fear of death or my attachment to life.

　My legs trembled.

　I’m still afraid of dying.

　That thought gave me a slight sense of relief.

　As always, no one enters my world, and I remain in solitude.

　――That’s what I thought.

“…Natsuk Mirai. “

　Gen’no Akira, completely drenched without an umbrella, suddenly entered my world like this.