I Went Back to Being a High School Student Again, but I Was Rejected by My Childhood Friend, Whom I Thought Was In Love With Me, So I tried to Suicide With the Most Beautiful Girl In the School. - Chapter 9

Misunderstanding

“…Why are you here? “

　I ask Koyoi, who is in my room, as if it was the norm for her to do so.

　She sits up and looks at me with a plainly grumpy expression on her face.

“Why can’t I come to your room? “

“What I’m saying is you should at least call me to let me know. You surprised me.”

“You didn’t say anything to me before when I came into your room without your permission.”

　Koyoi looks frustrated.

　It’s true, I remember that she used to enter my room without my permission from time to time.

　But that was until our junior high school days, and we never went to each other’s rooms without permission after we entered high school…I may be misremembering, but I’ll keep quiet.

　Koyoi didn’t ask me any more questions as I remained silent.

“Why didn’t you come to supplementary class today? “

　Koyoi asked me.

　Apparently, I had worried her as much as I had worried Natsuki.

“I skipped it… No, it’s not exactly skipping the class since it’s not a forced participation.”

“But Akira is going to take the exam, too.”

　I nodded silently at Koyoi’s words.

“Then you have to come, don’t you?”

“That’s true, it’s cause I’m a bad guy.”

　Koyoi is miffed at my words.

“Akira, your grades are pretty good. If that’s not good enough for you, then what am I worth to you? Who’s not as good as Akira? “

“I’m not talking about grades, it’s about humanity. Koyoi is much better than me.”

(The bad here means something like hopeless/screwed-up person, not in the sense of good/evil.)

　Koyoi stares at me as I talk nonsense.

　Then, she turns her eyelids down and asks me in a trembling voice.

“Isn’t it really because you don’t want to see me…? “

　Then she continues to ask me.

“Do you remember our promise? “

　…what and when was that promise?

　As expected, it is difficult for me to remember a trivial promise we made in high school.

　When I don’t say a word, she says.

“When we grow up, you promise to make me your wife.”

　I remembered that promise.

“…that was the promise we made in kindergarten.”

　She still remembered that common, funny promise we made in kindergarten.

　A promise that, in the end, was never fulfilled.

“Yes, that’s right.”

　Koyoi smiled shyly at the fact that I remembered the promise.

“You know, Akira is mistaken…”

　She says this and gives me a thoughtful look.

　I had a bad feeling about this.

“Akira, if it’s you. I like… I like you.”

　Koyoi, who had rejected my confession, muttered with her cheeks turning vermilion in embarrassment.

　I looked over at her, and she took my pillow in her hand, blocking her face with it.

　I looked at her, heard her words, and instantly――I understood.

“…you mean that because I confessed my feelings for you in front of everyone, you were happy but too embarrassed to say yes? “

　Of course I had considered this possibility.

　Not many high-schoolers would have agreed to a confession in that situation, and of course Koyoi is not such a thick-skinned girl.

“Huh! You knew that!”

“No, I was just hoping you were like that. If that was the case, I wish you would have told me how you felt earlier.”

　I made my excuses without hesitation.

　Koyoi glares at me, then says

“Really sorry, but it’s because… I’m embarrassed by the pressure and situation, you know…”

　She hugged my pillow and buried her face in it.

　I couldn’t see her expression, but I could see her ears peeking out from her short-cut hair, and they were bright red.

　Hearing her words, I thought that my bad premonition had come true. Then she said,

“Listen, let’s not go out with each other until we both pass the entrance examinations, okay? “

“Eh, why? “

　I couldn’t help thinking, [Why is there a prerequisite to being in a relationship?]. She continued.

“Because I can’t… I don’t have the confidence to switch between exam mode and relationship mode.”

　But she seemed to have interpreted it in a way that made sense to me.

“If we go out, I’m sure I will bother Akira. I’m sure I’ll be very restrained, I’ll want to be with you all the time, and I’ll be so jealous that I won’t be able to study…”

　I listened to her confession in silence.

“But if we both know that we can only go out with each other after we get through the exams… I’m sure I’ll be able to study hard.”

　Koyoi looked at me with a sweet, upturned gaze and told me.

“So, please wait a little longer…okay? “

　Of course I know what I should do to answer her question.

　I should say no.

　Detached from my curse, I can no longer picture a future living with Koyoi.

　If I give her a flirtatious answer here… it will only make her sad when I’m dead.　

　Besides, Koyoi actually has a future where she will be happy without me.

　I don’t have the right to deprive her of that happiness.

　So, I tell her clearly.

“Okay.”

　But the words that came out of my mouth were the exact opposite of what I was thinking.

“Really? Are you okay with that…? “

　She asks, still hugging my pillow as if to confirm.

　I nodded silently.

“… yatta.”

　Koyoi was sitting on the bed, her face buried in the pillow she was holding, her toes flapping in the air, expressing her joy.

　Seeing her, I felt irresistibly cuteness, and I was aware of my heart pounding in my chest…

　Soon after that, Koyoi stopped moving.

　Then she got up from the bed, moved to the door, and stopped with her back to me.

“….what’s wrong? “

　I asked suspiciously, and she answered without looking back at me.

“If I stay in Akira’s room any longer… I think I’ll go crazy.”

　After opening the door to her room, she continues.

“I’m going to study hard…Akira, so please do your best, okay? “

“Ah, okay.”

“Good night.”

　After saying this, Koyoi left the room.

　Then, I let out a big sigh as I looked at the closed door.

　Even though she was my first love, in my 28-year-old eyes, Koyoi is just a small girl from the countryside.

　I know this in my head, but the reason why I feel so nervous is because my mind is being pulled by this 18-year-old body.

　No matter how much I, a 28-year-old man, try to sort out in my head that my love is over, my 18-year-old body rejects it and wants to be with her.

　…It’s a messy condition

　I should have refused her confession without a doubt.

　I have already sorted out my feelings for her.

　I don’t think I’m going to stop dying even if I get together with her now.

　I lay on my back on the bed with my head in my hands.

　Then, I’m struck by an unusually sweet smell.

　It’s the scent of Koyoi’s, and I hate my 18-year-old body for reacting to such a thing.

　Gosh.

　I think to myself, staring blankly at the ceiling of my room.

　If I die, Koyoi will be left with a big scar on her heart.

　And yet, I am so selfish that I don’t even think of stopping the death, or I won’t explain anything to her in a sincere way.

　I was disgusted and so fed up with myself.

TN: I checked the ending for this novel after tl-ing this chapter, and it’s not a harem ending.

　And yes, Akira will still jump off the roof very soon.