I Will Inspire Your Insipid Days - Volume 1 Chapter 2.8

Finding

The next day, after classes ended, Komachi-san came to me.

“Kanon, thank you for yesterday.”

With just that one sentence, I understood everything. As I replied, “Don’t mention it,” and left the classroom, Komachi-san followed at the same pace.

Exiting the school building, we headed to the garden. There, we both sat down on a bench set in one corner, as if by some unspoken agreement.

I asked directly.

“How much did Satsuki-san tell you?”

“Well, pretty much everything.”

“I’d prefer it if you could be precise.”

“That Yonon came here in place of Kanon Hanabishi due to some serious circumstances within the Hanabishi family. In the academy, Yonon has been acting as Kanon Hanabishi. The Hanabishi family is a master of traditional dance, and graduating from Akamonzuka Girls’ Academy is a requirement to inherit the main family… something like that.”

I see, it seems they nicely sidestepped the issue of my gender and the unique nature of the Hanabishi family itself.

Relieved internally, I responded with a non-committal, “Is that so?”

“Yonon, I’ve been thinking──”

I involuntarily tensed up.

“Komachi-san, I don’t know where your eyes and ears are. I would appreciate it if you refrain from using that term from now on.”

“Sorry, but I have something I want to ask. There’s nobody around, so I thought maybe we could talk here.”

“Something you want to ask? Me…?”

I braced myself internally.

I believe my feminine actions are flawless. Though I think it’s related to the unique nature of Akamonzuka Girls’ Academy, in these past few months, I’ve never felt any strange gazes from those around me.

There shouldn’t have been any instances where the veneer of “a sheltered young lady” was stripped away.

As my thoughts spun in circles, Komachi-san, oblivious to my inner turmoil, continued.

“You’re into dance, right, Yonon?”

“…”

I was momentarily at a loss for words.

But quickly, I composed myself.

“I do not.”

At my answer, Komachi-san tilted her head in confusion.

“Not into it? But the Hanabishi family is known for dance, right? Even your sister──”

“I was not taught.”

“Really? So what about the Harvest Festival? You’re not performing?”

“I can reproduce the dance. Though I wasn’t taught, I did watch.”

“…You can do it just by watching?”

“I can do something similar.”

Traditional dance—especially what is called Japanese dance—has its roots in Kabuki, primarily performed by men, which then evolved by incorporating women’s dance.

Although there are minor differences among families, dance, gestures, and movements… these three elements are considered crucial. The Hanabishi family is no exception, building its dances on the original techniques.

Or so it seems.

I wasn’t directly taught, so my knowledge is based only on what I’ve read.

“Would you show me?”

Komachi-san leaned in closer.

“Um, show you what?”

“Given the context, it has to be your dance, Kanon.”

“That seems unrelated.”

“You said it yourself at the café after visiting the gallery, ‘To create something good, you need to be exposed to something good.’ The genre doesn’t matter, I want to absorb anything.”

Komachi-san pleaded with her hands clasped in front of her.

“I’m sorry, but──”

As I started thinking of an excuse to decline, memories from the past resurfaced.

“The next performance, why don’t you try it instead of me? With makeup, no one will notice.”

“But Kanon, you’ve been practicing for so long. If someone like me──”

“It’s okay. Everyone will see that Yonon isn’t unnecessary! Let’s try it──”

Immediately, the timeline shifts. Reality, unyielding, makes itself known.

“Kanon! Those movements were not what I taught!”

A harsh rebuke echoes in my head.

“The emotion isn’t there. It’s entirely uninteresting. Moreover, the basic movements are not properly executed.”

──Because I wasn’t taught.

“I didn’t teach you such forms!”

──Because I didn’t know.

“Can you really take over the Hanabishi family with such skills?”

I felt the gazes of those around me pierce through me.

Once again, the shutter clicks, and the scene shifts.

Standing before me is my twin sister.

“I’m sorry… Kanon… I’m so sorry…”

“No, it’s okay, Yonon.”

“It’s not okay. You’re getting scolded because of me…”

“It’s always like that.”

“If only… I didn’t say we should try… then I wouldn’t feel this way.”

“If only I hadn’t thought of standing on the stage myself, I wouldn’t have ended up feeling like this.”

“Nothing changes, huh? Neither Yonon nor this family. We’re always bound to live… no, kept alive by this house. Boring, really… so boring.”

“Next time! Next time, I’ll properly see what’s missing.”

“I’m always on Yonon’s side.”

Yonon hugs Kanon again, tears streaming down. Kanon also tightens her embrace.

“I’ll always be your ally.”

Like a lullaby… or perhaps a curse, Kanon whispers over and over again.

“Someday, we’ll have to end this.”

This ability to never forget anything I’ve seen.

It’s… just a curse.

“…! Ugh…!”

A sharp pain cuts through my head.

As if something is telling me, “Don’t remember any more.”

“Yonon, are you okay!? Are you feeling unwell!?”

“No… It’s not a problem. Don’t worry about me.”

“Worrying is what I do! Sorry, it’s because I dug too deep into your business──”

My ultimate command is “to graduate from Shumonzuka Girls’ Academy,” nothing more. I only aim to fulfill the mission given to me. There’s no room for ambition or aspirations.

“I’m sorry, Komachi-san. I’d love to show you the dance, but there are some circumstances.”

“You don’t have to explain in detail… It was thoughtless of me to ask. Sorry.”

Komachi-san stood up from the bench, bowed deeply.

There was no need for her to go that far, I thought to myself, admiring how conscientious she was.

In the end, we parted ways there, and I decided to head back to my room.

“Do you want me to walk you back to your dorm?” she offered, but I politely declined. Though I appreciated her concern and felt guilt for causing her worry, we agreed to have lunch together sometime and then parted ways.

Walking back, my thoughts were clouded.

I am, after all, just an impostor.

Men are not needed in the main Hanabishi family.

In fact, until the Meiji era, male children were considered expendable.

In other words, male children born into the Hanabishi family were meant to have their existence erased from birth.

When I heard this from Kanon, I thought of it as something brutal happening to someone else.

After the war, the Hanabishi family, sticking to its old customs, split into the “Wind,” “Bird,” and “Moon” branches, and it became customary for male children born in the main family to be adopted out.

So why was I, a male, living in the main house?

The answer is simple: because I was useful.

The Hanabishi main house, located in a forested area far from the city and surrounded by regions affected by depopulation, simply lacked manpower. That’s why I, as a male, was convenient for menial tasks.

And then──I had a special skill.

I could remember anything I saw instantly.

Like the snap of a camera shutter, I could store images in my brain as if they were photographs. Not just that, if I focused on a specific area to remember, I could visualize the images exactly as I saw them.

But as a child, being able to remember everything instantly was just normal for me.

It all started with an offhand comment from Kanon.

──Ask Yonon. He remembers where everything is.

When the cleaning crew moved furniture in the vast mansion and needed to put it back, Kanon’s innocent voice echoed.

In reality, I was fully aware of every detail of the mansion, remembering the position of vases, how the curtains were drawn, and so on. I remember being greatly surprised when I managed to restore the room’s layout based on my internal memories.

But what of it?

Suddenly, the face of my roommate, who must still be drawing in our room, comes to mind.

Her figure, engrossed in art.

A solitary figure blazing her own trail.

The more I think, the less I understand.

Why did Natsume choose someone like me to share her school life with?