I Will Inspire Your Insipid Days - Volume 1 Chapter 3.4

Gazing

Natsume-san didn’t blink, continuing in her monotonous voice.

“I’ve heard about it from Yonon. I’m not used to introducing myself, so feel free to ask anything you’d like. I can’t promise I’ll answer, but I won’t deliberately ignore anyone’s voice. It’s mostly because I didn’t hear, so please don’t mind it.”

What kind of distance is that…?

“Can’t you both talk more normally?”

“I thought I was talking normally, but does it look unnatural somewhere?”

“My way of speaking was probably bad. It’s normal for Natsume-san to cause a ‘traffic jam’ of words, so it’s not strange at all.”

“Then it’s not ‘both of you’, right?”

“Yes, I’m sorry!”

Really, what a hassle!

On the other hand, Komachi-san is as quiet as a borrowed cat, and her cautious words are conveyed. Unfortunately, Natsume-san didn’t get that nuance, but it’s not the time to interrupt, so I’ll just watch how it goes.

“I, well, there are many things I want to talk about, but can’t seem to organize my words… It feels like my words just don’t come together.”

“You said the same thing twice…”

The profound discomfiture is conveyed.

Why do both of them look at me when they talk?

“Should I leave the room?”

“Why?” “Please bear with me!”

“Don’t deny it simultaneously.”

I was rejected even though I offered with care.

I sighed and for the time being, led Komachi-san to my seat. It was a good thing that I always tidy up… If left alone, the floor would be littered with leftover drink bottles and scraps of paper with indecipherable scribbling. It seems like Natsume-san’s work today is all done on the tablet, maybe I was lucky.

Even after sitting down, Komachi-san’s restlessness is palpable, so I spoke to her.

“Would you like something to drink?”

“Ah, no, please don’t worry about me…”

“Then I will have a drink, would you like to join me?”

“Ah, then… I will partake…”

As I stood up, Natsume-san spoke.

“Guatemala.”

“Don’t jump to the type of drink. It doesn’t matter since we’ll drink the same thing, but they say a drink around the warmth of human skin is easy to drink. Haven’t you heard? It’s because it enters the human body, so naturally, that makes sense.”

As usual, she’s picky and keeps talking on her own.

While grinding coffee beans, I observed the two of them. During the entire process, Natsume-san once again focused on her desk, while Komachi-san was watching my hands all the time.

“It’s different from the classroom, the way you carry yourself.”

“To Natsume-san, yes. Were you surprised?”

“Of course, I’m surprised. But I always think everyone has a hidden side they don’t show, so in a way, I was a bit happy to see that Hanabishi-san is also human.”

“What has Satsuki-san told you about me? About me, that is.”

“That because of family circumstances, my school name and real name are different. Kanon is your sister’s name, right? So, I wasn’t sure if I should call you Kanon-san or Yonon-san.”

“You can call me whatever you like. I have no preference.”

Here, Natsume-san interjects.

“It’s often the case that we’re called by pen names or stage names, anyway. It’s okay to call me by whichever you like. I’m also called by my pen name, and we communicate normally.”

“In Natsume-san’s case, it’s just a variation of your real name, so there wouldn’t be much discomfort, right?”

“Don’t use polite language with me. It’s creepy.”

“Don’t suddenly remove the ladder. I got carried away.”

“I’ve only known Yonon as Kanon, so suddenly being told a different name doesn’t leave me much choice but to be confused. I was fortunate to hear Yonon’s real name earlier by chance, so I could accept it smoothly, but it was good luck.”

“That’s talking too much in one breath.”

I realize again that this person really struggles with talking to strangers.

I pour the amber liquid into a mug and bring it to the two of them. Natsume-san only uses cups with certain patterns, so serving her is easy, I thought, oddly out of place. Perhaps it’s because the silence seemed to dominate the space between Komachi-san and Natsume-san.

“Did you figure out what you wanted to ask?”

“…Yes.”

“I feel guilty when you reply with a voice as thin as a mosquito’s buzz.”

Prompted by me, Komachi-san timidly changed her posture. In her line of sight was Natsume-san, holding the mug with both hands, sipping her coffee with a blissful expression.

“What should I call you, ‘Natsume’-san?”

“Whatever you like. Senior, teacher, master, anything is fine.”

Why are you trying to position yourself above others?

“Even ‘Banana’ or ‘Pineapple’ is fine.”

“I don’t have the courage to close that distance yet. So… Natsume-san.”

Shyly suggested by Komachi-san, Natsume-san puffed her cheeks and turned her gaze here.

She seems to have something to say.

“Are you dissatisfied with being called Natsume-san?”

“No, that’s fine, but my ace gag fell flat, so I’m looking at Yonon for help.”

“Eh, that was a joke just now!?”

After reacting too genuinely, Komachi-san covered her mouth, realizing her mistake.

Meanwhile, Natsume-san was like…

“…Uu, Yonon…!”

Don’t look at me. Clean up your own mess.

I sat on the bed, sipped my coffee, and watched.

“I, Natsume-san’s works… ‘Kasha’, ‘Kyojitsu’, I really love them.”

“Ah, those I drew when I was in my second year of middle school. I was full of Chuunibyou, so I used cool words as titles directly. Those works around that time usually had two-character titles. ‘Shura’, ‘Yūgen’, also existed.”

“…It hurts.”

“Speaking of pain, I remembered. ‘Doki’, ‘Hado’, also existed. I remember the drawings, but I’m not attached to the titles, so the words and the content of the drawings don’t link.”

Does this sequence of associations even make sense?

“…It feels like this, understanding the backside of things I liked.”

So saying, Komachi-san looked at me. Don’t ask for agreement. I can’t sympathize.

“To explain to Yonon, ‘Kyojitsu’ is an abstract painting that looks like a portrait, and ‘Yūgen’ is a portrait that looks like an abstract painting.”

I wouldn’t understand even if you explained.

I tilted my head as Komachi-san showed me image data on her smartphone. They were works I hadn’t seen before, but I could tell at a glance they were Natsume-san’s.

A girl with the center of her face hollowed out. Neither eyes, nose, nor mouth were drawn, it looked either painted black or as if a hole had opened.

“This one I just showed is ‘Kyojitsu’, and this is ‘Yūgen’.”

Komachi-san swiped the smartphone display, showing a different work. Girls lined up like a choir, but their facial features were exactly the same. Yūgen refers to a word describing an indescribably profound, faintly lingering beauty. I wondered what meaning was embedded in the title when…

“Back then, all the titles were decided on a whim. What was Yūgen again? I feel like I just pulled that sort of appropriate word from a dictionary.”

Natsume-san muttered. It saved me the trouble of using my brain resources for speculation.

“…I thought hard about the meanings of words and interpretations of picture angles…”

The one who couldn’t be saved was exactly 1 person. Poor thing.

“It’s not that I didn’t think. I put quite an effort into drawing, which is why I looked up in a dictionary.”

“…So, Natsume-san, do you think of the title after drawing?”

“I want to ask the opposite, is there another way?”

“…I don’t know about that.”

“Is that so?”

Saying so lightheartedly, Natsume-san tilted her head and once again focused on her tablet.

“Can’t think of a title without seeing the finished form during the process?”

“…Do you imagine the finished form before starting production?”

“Can you do that? That’s amazing. But maybe for enthusiastic viewers, this kind of temperature is better.”

“…”