If You Wish to Have Me - Chapter 124

The young monk who had removed his robe and revealed his face scratched his cheek as he apologized.

“Ah, I’m sorry. I know, but it still feels rather uncomfortable. It’s hard for my mouth to move when I have to call Lord Vischer by that greedy one’s name.”

Vischer… no, the man now called Seyard sat down across from him and replied.

“For someone who says that, you seemed to get along quite intimately with that fellow.”

“That was purely to follow Lord Vischer’s orders. It was difficult forcing myself to act friendly.”

“That makes it the second time today.”

“No, no, Lord Seyard!”

Brother Vishius smiled awkwardly, then continued with a resolute expression.

“Anyway, ever since you took me in long ago, there has been only one person I serve. Without that day’s salvation, there would be no me today.”

At those words, the red-haired man recalled a small child who had been begging on the streets long ago.

To a child who had to worry about daily survival, how enormous must the hand extended by a young nobleman have seemed?

Looking back, getting off the carriage that day instead of just passing by, taking the child and returning to the mansion, had been a very beneficial choice.

The child who later entered the orphanage sponsored by the Hillan family grew up safely and became his faithful subordinate, didn’t he?

Not only that, but at his master’s single command, he had changed his name and background and even entered the monastery.

Then, as planned, he approached the target and became quite close to him.

Even his brother, who had been quite wary, showed no particular suspicion.

“He’s someone I dislike, but since he resembles Lord Vischer so much, I find myself treating him well without realizing it.”

Perhaps half of it was due to Vishius’s kindness, which contained some genuine feeling, and the other half was likely due to his own cognitive error.

Peculiarly, his brother had believed since childhood that he looked down on him greatly.

Whenever he had the chance, he would glare at him and shout not to ignore him.

However, in reality, he had never particularly despised or scorned his twin brother.

He had thought that his brother sometimes acted recklessly when swayed by emotions, but that was merely an objective assessment made from observing him closely over many years.

The real Seyard Hillan. His brother who died unable to abandon his reckless and unproductive hatred.

[You… you knew everything, didn’t you?]

On that decisive night, when he encountered his older brother waiting for him in the villa’s bedroom, he finally realized this was a trap.

He had explained to Kisa that a life-threatening brawl had occurred, but in fact, no such thing had happened.

Vischer was not the only one who met the intruder there, and Seyard was subdued all too easily.

Among the two accomplices, Vishius had been an enemy from the beginning, and Cobi Brown, who had been keeping watch outside the villa, had apparently gotten scared and fled, so Seyard was alone at the final moment.

[S-spare me! Please, I beg you! I was wrong! If you just let me live, I’ll spend my whole life quietly in a monastery where no one will know! I can even swear to it!]

How brazen – having come to take another’s life, yet when a blade was pointed at his own throat, his brother trembled as if he had never expected such a situation.

[Brother, brother! Please… I didn’t come to harm you. I just came to complain a little!]

His brother who spouted ridiculous excuses despite obviously knowing he had brought a weapon.

He had never understood him throughout his life and had never cherished him as family, but he didn’t particularly dislike him either.

He simply had no particular feelings.

From the beginning, his brother had not been a meaningful enough existence to harbor any real resentment toward.

[W-we’re… brothers, aren’t we?]

There’s no law saying one can’t commit the same crime twice.

He took his brother’s life without hesitation, permanently eliminating the dangerous element.

Then he executed the plan he had been devising since around the time he first received reports of his brother’s murder plot from Vishius.

Everything was for one purpose alone.

That which he had failed to obtain in his childhood, when his understanding of concepts like others and death was still lacking.

The memory of that grand failure had remained in his heart for a long time, making him yearn for it.

“Lord Seyard?”

At that moment, what awakened him from his reverie was the voice of his long-time loyal servant.

He lowered his gaze and blinked a couple of times.

That’s right, Seyard. He was Seyard now.

“What is it, Brother Vishius?”

At Seyard’s question, Vishius tapped the table with his finger and asked.

“What should I do from now on? Should I return to the monastery? The abbot gave me permission to stay until I saw Lord Seyard’s wedding, but if Brother Emil doesn’t return for a long time and I’m absent too, the atmosphere might become uneasy.”

Seyard gazed at him quietly for a moment.

Perhaps recognizing that gaze as reproachful, some tension appeared on his freckled face.

“Ah, of course, before leaving, I thoroughly checked Brother Emil’s personal space. There were no problematic items. I can assure you of that.”

“No, that’s not it.”

Seyard shook his head and leaned back comfortably against his chair.

“I want to ask what you would like to do. Do you want to return to the monastery?”

“Pardon?”

“This is a question from a long-term perspective. Since we’ve resolved the last remaining problem, your mission could be said to be finished now. Even so, do you want to return to the monastery and live as a monk?”

“Well, if I could, I would naturally come up to the capital and assist Lord Seyard by your side—”

“Are you sincere?”

When he uncharacteristically interrupted his words, Vishius stammered with a flustered expression.

“That, that is…”

“I read the letters you sent every month well. They were filled with detailed accounts of that fellow’s situation and monastery life, which was very helpful.”

It was also thanks to Vishius that he had been able to act the part of his brother quite convincingly.

The abbot had shown no suspicion even after exchanging letters several times.

Of course, meeting face-to-face would be dangerous, so he hadn’t directly visited St. Pavela Monastery.

“But reading those letters, I somehow got the impression that you quite enjoyed your life at the monastery. Am I mistaken?”

Vishius remained silent with his head bowed, then revealed his true feelings not long after.

“Lord Seyard’s words are correct. To be honest, I’ve become quite accustomed to that place, and over these past few years, I’ve grown attached to the monks…”

How surprising, wasn’t it? A man whose moral sense was so dim that he wouldn’t hesitate to take a life, yet living a life of deep faith.

Indeed, humans were mysterious beings who seemed predictable as if held in one’s palm, yet continued to show new facets.

Well, needless to say, the most interesting person to him was currently lying in his bedroom.

Anyway, this provided the answer to the immediate question.

“Good. Then it’s decided. Vishius, you shall continue to live as a monk.”

“B-but then I won’t be able to provide any particular help to Lord Seyard anymore!”

“You have already done great things for me, more than enough. Now I hope you can fully enjoy your own life.”

“I’m truly grateful that you say that, but…”

Since Vishius didn’t seem likely to accept this readily, Seyard made one proposal.

“Then how about this? We’ll decide after my wedding is over.”

“Your wedding?”

“Yes, stay here until then and think it over slowly. How you want to live from now on.”

Vishius showed signs of hesitation for a moment, but after a while, he nodded slightly.

“Yes, I’ll do that. To think you would be so considerate of me… thank you, Lord Seyard.”

“Not at all. Given our relationship, this much is only natural.”

Seyard smiled gently and patted his shoulder.

****

Kisa’s eyes snapped open at the bright sunlight streaming through her eyelids.

Seeing her hurriedly sit up in bed, Lily exclaimed, “Oh my!”

“You’re awake. You were sleeping so soundly that I didn’t wake you until this hour, but perhaps I shouldn’t have?”

At those words, she looked out the window to see the sun high in the sky.

“…”

Kisa carefully traced through her memories.

The series of events from last night quickly flashed through her mind.

She had opened the secret room and regained her memories.

And then Seyard had suddenly appeared…no, he wasn’t Seyard.

The memory was so unbelievable that she momentarily wondered if she had dreamed it, but it was undoubtedly reality.

‘Why am I here?’

According to her last memory, she had been in the Duke’s study having a conversation with him.

But why had she awakened in her own room’s bed again?

Kisa tried for a moment longer to recall last night’s memories, then suddenly turned to Lily and asked.

“Seyard, no, where is His Grace?”

“Huh? How did you know His Grace returned in the middle of the night?”

“Rather than that, tell me where His Grace is!”

The answer came from the doorway.

“I’m here.”

A red-haired man in light clothing opened the door and entered the room.

“I’ve truly missed you all this time, Kisa.”

He spoke as naturally as if they were meeting after several days.

Kisa looked at the man with wary eyes, then opened her mouth.

“Don’t tell me you drugged me?”

Seyard’s steps came to an abrupt halt.