If You Wish to Have Me - Chapter 133

Kisa stared at Hazel with wide eyes, caught off guard by the unexpected situation.

It had only been a short while ago that a maid had come to Kisa’s room where she was resting, informing her that Hazel had come to visit.

“Right now she’s begging the gatekeeper to deliver a message, and you can’t imagine how ridiculous she looks. No matter how much she pleads, would our Miss meet just anyone?”

The maid giggled as if finding it satisfying, while the nanny beside her also wore a pleased smile.

“She must have been abandoned by Young Master Daniel while he’s recuperating. I knew this would happen. There’s no way a nobleman would seriously court a commoner woman who even has marriage experience.”

“…….”

“She’ll surely beg you to deliver news of her to Young Master Daniel when she meets you. She’s probably coming here after being turned away at the Marquis Lowens house. Really, no matter what, how dare someone like her come to a place like this. She has no shame.”

The nanny told Kisa that if she just gave the word, she would go right away and give Hazel a thorough scolding.

However, Kisa herself remained silent for a while with a thoughtful expression.

After a moment, when she made up her mind and rose from her seat saying she would go meet Hazel, both the nanny and maid were horrified.

Brushing off the two who tried to dissuade her, asking why the young lady would see that woman, Kisa left the room.

If Hazel had come just a little earlier, she wouldn’t have bothered to meet her face to face.

When Hazel had visited the Count Vansfelt’s estate a few months ago and asked Kisa to reconcile with Daniel, Kisa had classified Hazel as someone not worth getting entangled with anymore.

But her thoughts had changed somewhat after having tea with Count Vansfelt yesterday.

‘The one who was abandoned wasn’t Hazel, but Daniel.’

The informant who appeared in the newspaper and the person Daniel had visited last. That person must have been Hazel.

The one so beloved that Daniel Lowens had even sworn a knight’s oath to her, the lifelong friend with whom he supposedly shared his very soul.

‘Then it makes sense why the media thoroughly concealed the informant’s identity.’

To break off Kisa’s engagement, the Count had openly exposed Daniel and Hazel’s inappropriate relationship to the world.

Anyone with even a slight interest in high society gossip could easily think of the Lowens family heir through a certain tea house proprietress.

‘But why did Hazel come to see me?’

She couldn’t quite guess the reason for that, but Kisa’s reason for walking to see her was clear.

Somehow she felt like meeting her and seeing for herself with her own eyes.

She was curious about what had made her cleanly abandon the man she had once loved.

It was just a simple feeling, but she felt that if she knew its true nature, some change might come to her as well.

Perhaps she might even be able to erase the image of that man who kept flickering before her eyes.

Even though she had resolved to escape from his touch, his reddish-brown eyes still occupied a corner of Kisa’s heart, shaking her.

So frustratingly so.

“Won’t you accept it?”

The question that reached her ears then brought Kisa’s mind back to the present.

Kisa glanced at the bag still in Hazel’s hands before opening her mouth.

“I don’t understand. Why are you giving that to me? Isn’t that money you rightfully received?”

At those words, Hazel’s gaze turned toward the ground.

“But before that, I harmed you through an improper relationship.”

“So you’re trying to compensate with money?”

“……I know very well. To someone as precious as you, this money is probably just pocket change. Moreover, you’re soon to become the mistress of the kingdom’s most prominent noble family.”

When Kisa answered with silence, Hazel seemed somewhat anxious as she twisted her hair with her index finger.

“But aside from empty apologies, this is all I can offer you. I’m sorry for everything up until now. In many ways.”

Kisa looked at the bag for a moment before speaking.

“If I accept this, will your heart be at ease?”

After thinking for a bit, a self-mocking smile appeared on Hazel’s face.

“Somewhat, yes. You’re right. As you know, I’m not a good person. I’m quite selfish. So this is probably something I’m giving you to ease my own heart rather than as an apology.”

“But it seems you won’t be completely at ease. Why? Because you sold out Daniel?”

She didn’t particularly want to blame Hazel for Daniel’s arrest, but somehow her tone came out accusatory.

Hazel’s face darkened momentarily, but she soon returned to her original expressionless state.

“Yes. It was my choice, but my heart isn’t at ease. After all, I betrayed someone who trusted me until the very end.”

According to her, Hazel had also been at the scene, a little distance away, when he was arrested, and she said it was the first time she had seen Daniel make such a devastated expression.

“That’s probably when he realized it, wasn’t it? That I wasn’t the ideal woman he had dreamed of. I pretended to be detached, but I’m also just an ordinary person. I have jealousy and try to control others. I also turn away when disappointed.”

She didn’t know the details, but it seemed Hazel and Daniel also had their own complex circumstances.

However, what Kisa was most curious about regarding Hazel wasn’t her guilt or the fantasy Daniel had harbored about Hazel.

“Hazel Turdy, if you truly feel sorry toward me, answer this one thing honestly.”

“Yes? Oh, please go ahead. I’ll answer anything I can.”

Before speaking, Kisa turned her head to look around.

Though he was still watching the two of them, Count Vansfelt’s gatekeeper was still standing quite far away.

This was because Kisa had asked him to step aside before she began talking with Hazel in earnest.

She wanted to prevent the conversation from reaching other ears. Especially the Count’s.

Making eye contact with Hazel again, Kisa asked in a small voice.

“How were you able to cut Daniel off? When you came to see me before, you clearly loved that bastard deeply.”

Hazel seemed a bit flustered, not understanding the intent of the question, but she didn’t ask Kisa why she was asking such a thing.

Instead, she rolled her eyes around, trying to find an appropriate answer to the question.

“Well. At that time, my feelings were complicated in many ways, so it’s hard for me to give you a clear-cut answer. However, I can say this much for certain.”

“What’s that?”

“Daniel was the one who cut me off first. Right before I reported him to the royal family, I clearly realized that he no longer respected or cherished me as he used to. His only interest was in you, Miss.”

“Me? But that bastard tormented me relentlessly. Isn’t that far from respect or cherishing?”

“I don’t mean he harbored sincere affection. What I mean is that it was……”

The gray-haired woman paused for a moment before continuing.

“An obsession with something he couldn’t have. He ultimately broke off the engagement with you and had to see you, whom he thought of as his, together with another man.”

Kisa quietly listened to her words.

“This is just my speculation, but since he has a very prideful personality, I think he couldn’t just sit still and watch such a situation. So perhaps that’s why he was so obsessed with trying to get you back into his hands again.”

Hazel’s words weren’t particularly new.

Kisa had also thought that Daniel’s reason for constantly interfering with her after their broken engagement, despite having treated her so coldly when they were engaged, was something like that.

But how should she put it.

For some reason, as she listened to her words, it wasn’t Daniel, the subject of the story, but an entirely different man who came to Kisa’s mind.

An obsession with something he couldn’t have. Kisa quietly repeated the words Hazel had spoken in her mouth.

It was a moment when a previously somewhat blurry concept seemed to become clear.

To conclude, Kisa accepted the bag of money Hazel offered.

When she briefly checked inside, it was a much larger amount than the money Kisa had carefully saved up bit by bit from her small allowance.

After Hazel left, Kisa returned to the mansion with it.

“Miss, you’re back!”

The nanny who had been waiting for her in the room rushed over eagerly and asked.

“What did she say? Nothing happened, right? She didn’t say anything strange to you, did she?”

“Don’t worry. Nothing happened. Just as you said, she asked if I knew anything about Daniel’s news.”

“Of course! So what did you tell her?”

“I said I didn’t know. Because I really don’t. More than that, nanny, I’m a bit tired, so could you let me be alone?”

The nanny seemed to want to ask more about Hazel, but reluctantly said she understood.

However, as she was about to leave the room, her gaze fell on the bag in Kisa’s hands.

“What’s that?”

“Nothing much. Hazel brought some odds and ends, calling it a bribe.”

“My goodness, what an absurd woman. Shall I throw it away for you?”

“It’s fine. It’s heavier than it looks. For something like this, I should ask a young person rather than you, nanny.”

“True, my body has been aching lately. You’re so considerate, miss.”

After the nanny left with a pleased smile, Kisa quickly took out the money from the bag and put it in the jewelry box in the bottom drawer of her vanity.

Then she put some of her own things in the empty bag and called a nearby maid to dispose of it.

Looking down at her entire fortune, Kisa took a deep breath.

Her resolve was finally firm.

She intended to escape with this money.

From the embrace of a certain man who had harbored an old obsession born from being rejected by young Kisa long ago.