If You Wish to Have Me - Chapter 135

“Now, please sit there.”

A few minutes later, Kisa had moved to the second floor with the person who had requested to speak with her, and they faced each other alone in a quiet room.

Downstairs, people were still enjoying the banquet, not even noticing that two people had disappeared except for Aria.

Kisa, seated in the chair offered to her, posed her question with a cautious attitude.

“May I ask what it is you wanted to tell me, Miss Manoa?”

The middle-aged woman called Manoa. With graying hair scattered here and there and a neat yet somehow stubborn-looking impression, she gazed quietly at Kisa.

“Straight to the point without any customary pleasantries?”

“If that was impolite, I apologize. But…”

“But?”

“I thought Miss Manoa would prefer to get straight to the point.”

“Why did you think that?”

“Because whenever you attended gatherings, you always came exactly on time, and when you left, you would return immediately after the end unless you had special business.”

“Is there nothing else besides that?”

When she questioned more persistently than expected, Kisa was a bit flustered but methodically explained the basis of her thoughts.

“How should I put it… I felt that when Miss Manoa spoke, you only touched on the necessary points. Concisely, neither more nor less.”

“Is that so? I haven’t attended gatherings frequently due to time constraints, but you’ve observed me in quite detail, Miss Kisa.”

Was it her imagination that it sounded somewhat like praise?

Manoa didn’t give Kisa time to think deeply about it and threw her next question.

“And what’s another reason? Is that the end now?”

There was more. But should she say this? After pondering, Kisa finally opened her mouth with some hesitation.

“Actually, I saw it recently. A play depicting Miss Manoa’s younger days. In it, Miss Manoa said that time is gold, and wasting time is the most detestable thing in this world…”

At those words, the middle-aged woman burst into laughter.

“What? Why are you being so cautious about saying such things?”

It was remarkable. With that single laugh, her somewhat stiff impression instantly softened.

An extraordinary person who, as a commoner woman, had raised a trading company that was on the verge of collapse and donated a fortune to the state, receiving a noble title from the king.

Anna Manoa treated Kisa with an unexpectedly casual attitude.

Kisa, feeling embarrassed, bowed her head deeply.

“When you were talking about the play with the others earlier, I wanted to tell you that I had seen it too, but somehow I missed the opportunity. Coming to mention it belatedly now feels a bit awkward.”

“I’m curious why you missed the opportunity then. Will you tell me?”

Kisa spoke up, wondering why such a person was showing such great interest in her.

“There were many people with extensive knowledge about theater, so it was a bit difficult for someone like me who doesn’t know much to join in.”

Moreover, since she had watched that play with Seyard, he naturally came to mind, and Kisa had no choice but to close her mouth with a heavy heart.

Seyard’s image overlapped with the people who had been eloquently discussing their evaluations of the play.

Like this, he appeared at any time and place, even in places where he wasn’t present, always occupying a corner of Kisa’s heart.

“Is that so? I actually prefer sincere impressions, even if they’re not grandly expressed, over those fancy-sounding stories.”

Manoa said this while placing her elbow on the table and resting her chin on her hand.

Her black eyes carefully examined Kisa sitting across from her.

“In that sense, I’d like to hear Miss Kisa’s review. How was that play? Was it interesting? Or was it terrible?”

“Pardon? Uh… my thoughts would be trivial. They’re really just personal feelings.”

“That’s exactly why I want to hear them.”

Manoa ultimately urged Kisa to speak, and Kisa had no choice but to part her lips.

“First of all, it was truly a wonderful play. When Miss Manoa successfully negotiated the spice import deal, I was happy for you. And also…”

But as she spoke, for some reason, her mood began to lift little by little.

Kisa gradually became absorbed in the story and continued speaking.

It was truly strange. Now was not the time to be enjoying such leisurely small talk.

Weren’t there mountains of problems to solve in order to escape from Seyard’s grasp?

For that reason, for the past few days, Kisa’s mind had been filled entirely with worries about those matters.

Even while attending gatherings and socializing with Seyard as before, she had been thinking of other things inside the whole time.

It was only natural to achieve the most important yet seemingly impossible goal.

Kisa had no leisure to pay attention to anything else, nor did she want to.

‘But this is really strange.’

Contrary to those thoughts, the current Kisa was pouring passion into something completely unrelated to her goal.

What was this trivial conversation anyway? Was it really such a pleasant thing to have someone she had secretly respected listen attentively to her words?

“Others praised it, but I actually didn’t think the adaptation was very good. I’ve also read Miss Manoa’s biography, which was the original source, and while it’s hard to explain clearly, it felt like something important was missing.”

As Kisa continued speaking, the moment her eyes met Manoa’s, she hurriedly waved both hands.

“Ah! Of course, this is just my simple opinion. Please don’t mind it too much. There must be reasons why others evaluated it that way.”

Manoa tilted the wine glass she had been holding since entering the room and chuckled softly.

“Why? What’s so important about what others say? I find myself agreeing more with Miss Kisa’s opinion.”

“Pardon? Do you really?”

“That play portrayed me too much like a hero. The biographer also exaggerated things, saying it would sell better that way, and the play went even further.”

This was new information. Even when people had eagerly brought up the play as a topic during the dinner, she had only responded with kind words.

“From the first time I met you, I felt this, but Miss Kisa, you lack too much confidence in yourself. You are someone who is no less than others. I guarantee it. So have confidence.”

“…Ah, thank you for saying that.”

When Kisa answered awkwardly, Manoa blinked for a moment and then said something unexpected.

“You’re really so much like me in that regard. That’s why Miss Kisa has been on my mind since our first meeting.”

“Me? Like you, Miss Manoa?”

Seeing Kisa’s surprise, the woman’s smile deepened.

“Why, is that something you never thought of?”

“I’m sorry to say this, but I have no idea what you mean by similar.”

Kisa’s voice grew smaller and smaller.

“I’m not capable like Miss Manoa, nor am I bold, and… I always make wrong choices and just fumble around not knowing how to solve the problems that arise from them.”

Though her words had become bottomless self-criticism, Manoa answered without the slightest difficulty.

“I was like that at first too. When my parents suddenly died in an accident and I had many younger siblings to feed, while the trading company I inherited was buried in debt, I really wanted to just collapse and cry my heart out. I wanted to run away somewhere. Back then, everything I chose only led to failure. Most of these things were omitted from the biography.”

“But you overcame it all with your outstanding wit and indomitable will.”

“I was lucky. Even though I stumbled and fell countless times, I was given another chance. In this world full of people who are permanently eliminated after falling once. I was incredibly lucky.”

Her gaze turned downward, and her voice became lost in thought as if recalling the past.

“But the biography couldn’t contain the truth as it was. The biography itself was made for promotional purposes for the trading company… What many people wanted from me was heroic extraordinariness.”

Kisa listened to her story in silence.

“Miss Kisa, I couldn’t have come this far without extraordinary luck. You could say luck made me. Are you disappointed by that?”

Seeing Kisa quickly shake her head, Manoa smiled.

“When I reached a position that others look up to, I made one resolution. Do you know what it was?”

“What was it?”

“To become that luck for people who didn’t get the same fortune I did.”

For people just like you. Though she didn’t say it aloud, Kisa seemed to hear her unspoken words.

“Miss Kisa, you resemble me so much that I want to cheer you on.”

****

That was the last thing Manoa said before Kisa left the room.

Coming down to the first floor, Kisa fell into deep thought.

‘What if I had asked for help?’

If she had confessed her situation and asked for help in leaving this place, how would she have reacted?

Thinking coldly about it, it would have been too dangerous an attempt.

Kisa didn’t know much about Anna Manoa as a person.

Her acquaintance with her was shorter than with Aria, and hadn’t she just encountered a new side of her?

‘But, but…’

She had the ability to help Kisa, and Kisa couldn’t solve this problem with her strength alone.

If she remained in her current state just because she couldn’t trust others, what would be left afterward?

[Have confidence.]

Manoa’s advice kept echoing in her ears.

How much time had passed? Just before the banquet ended, Kisa found herself climbing the stairs again.

The phrase written in the last chapter of Manoa’s biography kept circling in her head.

Face danger head-on. Success will not come to those who do not.

Kisa could be certain. Now was the time to take action despite the risks.

Even if it meant colliding and breaking.

Manoa was still in that room.

“Miss Manoa, please help me.”

Seeing her, Kisa collided with earnestness.

“I need a way to secretly leave the capital.”