If You Wish to Have Me - Chapter 147

Having been naturally sensitive to begin with, and having come to this place through a long journey, when her body felt heavy or she felt nauseous, she initially thought it was simply due to the sudden change in environment.

Her menstruation also wasn’t clockwork regular—she had skipped two or three months before on occasion.

But even Kisa, who had expected such symptoms to improve as she adapted to her new life, had no choice but to think differently when the symptoms showed no signs of improvement.

When the possibility of pregnancy first occurred to her, the first memory that flashed through her mind was that night.

It was the last night she had spent with Seyard shortly before leaving the Sorbi Kingdom.

With marriage just around the corner, Kisa had veiled the man’s sharp gaze—eyes that glinted as he tried to probe her true feelings—with lust in the name of love.

Though he had been on high alert, seemingly trying to grasp Kisa’s true intentions, he had ultimately succumbed willingly to temptation and whispered love into Kisa’s ear many times. Until dawn came.

Before that, after Kisa had learned the truth, she had kept her distance from him for a while, so there had been no opportunity to share love.

In other words, that was the only time that could be suspected.

‘What a persistent man.’

That was the thought Kisa harbored on the day she became aware of the life in her womb.

That man who had been Vischer Hillan in the past and was now Seyard Hillan—wasn’t he truly persistent?

She had finally escaped from his embrace, only for him to plant his seed in Kisa.

As if a part of him would be with her forever.

In any case, she couldn’t just keep regretting her choice from that day.

The water had already been spilled, and at the time, it had been Kisa’s own best option.

Deceiving someone like Seyard, who had a history of seeing through her intentions countless times, with words alone seemed like an utterly impossible task.

There wouldn’t be a second chance, and Kisa had to choose the path with the highest probability of successfully escaping, no matter what.

Though as a result, she ended up paying a price that was by no means light.

“I didn’t call you here separately to receive an apology.”

At those words from Gale, Kisa turned her head toward him.

“I’m sorry if this is an insensitive question, but it would be better to make this clear. Is it that man’s child?”

It was clear who was being referred to as ‘that man’ between Kisa and Gale.

“Yes.”

As if he had already expected it, he wasn’t greatly surprised.

Instead, he wore a complicated expression and let out a small sigh.

“Then what do you plan to do from now on?”

“First, since there’s always that one-in-a-million chance, I’d like to see a doctor. But unfortunately, the only doctor in this village suffered a fracture a few days ago and is still resting.”

Mana had explained that such things happened often since he was an elderly doctor.

“So actually, I was planning to ask you to take me to a larger village when you leave this place today. After getting examined there, if the fact of pregnancy is confirmed, I was going to tell you the truth and have a serious consultation.”

But she hadn’t expected her condition to be exposed when she couldn’t hold back her nausea in front of everyone before that could happen.

‘The symptoms of not being able to accept food are getting progressively worse.’

Since Daisy had been born about ten years ago, Mana’s house study contained pregnancy and childcare guidebooks.

After becoming certain of her pregnancy, Kisa had secretly read them and knew that morning sickness becomes more severe when it reaches a certain period.

The possibility of pregnancy had increased even more.

Gale nodded after hearing Kisa’s story.

“I see. Very well. Since I was planning to leave after lunch anyway, let’s go together later. Of course, after meeting the doctor, I’ll bring you back here.”

“Thank you so much.”

“But if… you really are pregnant, what will you do then?”

There was a slight pause before the next question came from his mouth.

“Will you give birth?”

It was the same enormous question that Kisa had posed to herself a few days ago.

Kisa, who had clicked her tongue at Seyard’s persistence, had initially thought she wouldn’t give birth.

Of course, she knew well that this was considered sinful according to religious doctrine, but she hadn’t been that devout a believer to begin with.

She had only pretended to believe out of concern for others’ gazes, having harbored doubts since childhood about whether God truly existed in this cruel world that had taken away her kind mother.

Moreover, having already abandoned all duties and roles to leave, there was nothing to hold her back now.

But such thoughts began to change little by little as she watched the mother and daughter, Mana and Daisy.

Mana, who would scold and nag endlessly yet smile warmly as if she couldn’t help it when looking at her daughter who had fallen asleep after making a mess of her room.

Daisy, who rarely listened to her mother’s words straight away perhaps because she was entering adolescence, but always kissed her cheek and whispered that she loved her before going to sleep.

For Kisa, who had a mother who died early and a father who wouldn’t open his heart to his daughter, this was the affection between parent and child that she had longed for all her life.

She too wanted to share such affection with family. She wanted to love and be loved.

At that moment of yearning, Kisa looked at her belly, which didn’t yet show noticeably, and thought:

Perhaps, just perhaps… wouldn’t it be alright to give birth to this child?

The child might become the only family for Kisa, who had come to a foreign land without a single blood relative.

The image of the baby to be born naturally formed in her mind.

‘It will surely be lovely.’

After all, wasn’t it the bloodline of Kisa herself and the man she had truly loved and still couldn’t forget?

There was no law that said the child’s personality had to resemble Seyard’s.

No, Kisa didn’t think even that Seyard was a bad person from the start.

Though his way of thinking was unusual, hadn’t the boy she met as a child helped her find Mustache Jack despite the trouble?

‘Even before that, he had saved me when I was being chased by a strange man.’

His current personality might have been formed growing up in a harsh environment where even his closest existence, his twin brother, was abandoned due to the circumstances of his birth.

So if Kisa educated the child well and poured sufficient affection into them, even if the child in her womb resembled him, there was no law anywhere that said the child had to grow up like him.

The child could grow into a perfectly fine person, an ordinary person.

Therefore, Kisa wanted to give the seed of possibility in her womb a chance.

Just as Manoa had first extended her hand to her a few months ago.

Just as the nanny had let her go even after discovering her departure.

Just as the mother and daughter, Mana and Daisy, had warmly welcomed her, a strange foreigner.

Because Kisa herself couldn’t have come this far without others’ goodwill.

“It’s probably shameless of me to say this when I’m indebted to Miss Manoa and Mr. Gale, as well as to Mana and Daisy.”

Kisa slowly moved her lips. There was no tremor in her voice, and the determination in her eyes was also clear.

“But I want to give birth. That is my will.”

“…….”

“I’m truly sorry. It will be a burden not only to Mr. Gale but to others as well. I won’t dare say I want to raise the child here after it’s born. However, I want to stay here at least until the child is born.”

Kisa had a relatively accurate grasp of her own abilities.

“Thanks to Mana and Daisy, I’ve learned various things, but I haven’t yet sufficiently mastered what’s needed to live alone. It would be difficult to secure new lodging with a heavily pregnant belly, and if something happens and I collapse, I need someone nearby who can help.”

A pair of earnest eyes looked toward Gale.

“So could you please allow me to stay here just until I give birth and recover? I beg you.”

After a moment of silence, the man answered in a low voice.

“That’s something you should ask Mana about rather than me.”

“Of course, her opinion as the owner of this house is most important. But it doesn’t seem right to discuss this matter without including Mr. Gale, who brought me to this place. After all, Mana accepted me because of Mr. Gale.”

If Gale opposed it first, Kisa wouldn’t even be given the right to ask Mana’s opinion.

“Oh, of course I don’t mean you should help persuade Mana. I’ll handle that myself.”

In case he might misunderstand her words, she hastily added, and Gale shook his head.

“I never thought that. I now roughly know what kind of person you are. And…….”

He gazed at Kisa with eyes that were hard to read emotionally, then ran his hand through his hair.

“You don’t need to look at me with such a cowed expression. Wanting to give birth isn’t a sin, and why would I blame you for it?”

“Ah,” Kisa let out a groan and spoke as if making an excuse.

“But from Mr. Gale’s position, it’s another troublesome matter, so you might be displeased—”

“No. That’s not the case. In fact, not only I, but if you asked Lady Manoa, she would say the same thing. If the expectant mother has the will to give birth, we will cooperate to the fullest extent.”

“What? Is that really true?”

“It’s true. That’s also a matter of Lady Manoa’s beliefs.”

As if immersed in old memories, his gaze fixed on empty space.

“Come to think of it, the reason I came to pledge my loyalty to her was also…….”

Just as he was about to continue, the door leading to the house burst open.

“Mister, Sister! What have you been doing here all this time?”

Daisy poked her head out and sent a dissatisfied look at the two people.

“Lunch was prepared ages ago, so when exactly are you coming? I’m really hungry.”

Behind her, Mana’s voice scolding her daughter could also be heard.

“Hey! Daisy! I told you to stay put!”

“But Mom, we’ve waited long enough.”

Watching the two mother and daughter bicker like that, the tension remaining between Kisa and Gale dissipated in an instant.

Gale, who faintly lifted the corners of his mouth, asked Kisa.

“Shall we have our meal first? I’m getting hungry too.”

Kisa felt the same way. Above all, she had skipped meals until morning.

“Good idea.”

Standing up and wearing a sincere smile on her lips for the first time, Kisa looked at Mana and Daisy.

“Bella, sorry…….you told me to eat first, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Daisy was also making a fuss, saying she wanted to eat together with you two.”

Beside the mother whose eyebrows drooped, the young girl added matter-of-factly.

“Of course. Because Bella and I agreed to listen to Mister’s stories while having lunch. Mister is leaving today, so if not now, when would we hear them? And food tastes better when everyone eats together.”

Watching that clever appearance, somehow the smile on Kisa’s lips deepened.

“……Yes, it’s more delicious when we’re together.”

“Exactly! So both of you hurry and come!”

“Alright.”

But just as Kisa was about to follow Daisy into the house, Gale stopped her.

“It would be good to prepare to leave immediately after finishing the meal.”

He whispered, lowering his voice so only she could hear.

“If we depart like that, we should be able to arrive in Matera before the hospital closes.”

Matera. The capital of this place, Octava, and a port city with a large trading harbor.