If You Wish to Have Me - Chapter 159

Kisa reflexively tried to step back but was blocked by the front door.

Seyard in front. Door behind. There was no room to escape.

“That, that is…”

Not knowing what to do, she simply lowered her gaze.

Given the distance, he too would have vaguely heard the conversation she had just had with Gale.

Gale’s very existence was already more than irritating to him, and now he had learned of his heartfelt feelings toward Kisa as well.

Her heart grew heavier than ever. Now the biggest problem for Kisa was whether harm would come to those who had helped her escape, like Gale and Manoa.

But what came from Seyard’s mouth was an unexpected remark.

“You did well.”

“Pardon?”

“Didn’t you send away the uninvited guest as I requested? Thank you.”

Thank you? She didn’t quite understand his psychology, but at least he didn’t look like someone who was angry.

The look in his eyes as he gazed at Kisa was warm, and both corners of his mouth were even slightly upturned.

‘He’s not thinking of harming Gale right away?’

As Kisa was trying to gauge his true intentions, an unexpected sound reached both their ears.

Grumble. Kisa’s face instantly flushed red at that naked signal from her own stomach.

Of course, she had missed mealtime due to his sudden visit, but she wasn’t particularly hungry.

But somehow, ever since her pregnancy, her stomach seemed to make grumbling sounds frequently.

Though it was an unavoidable physiological phenomenon, given the situation, she felt a bit resentful toward her body for not following the serious atmosphere.

Seyard spoke with an apologetic expression.

“Oh my, you haven’t eaten yet. I seem to have come at quite an inappropriate time.”

She thought this entire visit was inappropriate, but Kisa couldn’t speak so honestly and just nodded vaguely.

“Quite a bit of time has passed as well.”

Seyard took out a pocket watch from his pocket, checked the time, then took Kisa’s hand.

“Though I’d like to stay with you longer, it would be difficult for you to eat comfortably with me here. I’ll take my leave for today.”

Kisa quickly raised her head to look at him.

“You’re leaving?”

“Yes. We’ve had this conversation and I’ve learned that your physical condition isn’t bad, so I’ve accomplished my primary objective.”

“Ah… yes, I see.”

No matter how she looked at it, it didn’t seem like he meant to drag her away or tell her to follow him on her own.

But hearing what followed, it wasn’t entirely good news either.

“Then I’ll come again in three days. I’ll come after lunchtime then. Ah, shall we set a definite time? How about 2 PM?”

“…….”

“3 PM would be fine with me too.”

“Seyard, are you planning to come here again?”

To that question, Seyard answered as if it were obvious.

“Yes, I’ve decided to make an effort to win your heart once more from now on.”

Come to think of it, their important conversation had been interrupted midway due to Gale earlier.

She hadn’t yet heard his answer to the question she had mustered courage to ask.

Perhaps because she was less tense than before, Kisa brought up the topic somewhat more easily.

“I’ll be honest with you. I don’t want to return. I’m also uncomfortable with you coming to visit like this. So couldn’t you just pretend you never saw me and leave things as they are?”

The smile disappeared from Seyard’s face just as it had before.

“I will make greater efforts.”

“No, this isn’t something that can be solved through effort.”

Kisa spoke firmly while pulling her hand from his grasp and clasping her own hands together.

“You might find it hard to understand, but I’ve grown fond of my life these past few months. Even though every moment was unfamiliar and not easy, there was nothing binding me and I was free. These were things I couldn’t enjoy when I lived as the daughter of Count Vansfelt under my father’s thumb.”

“Even if you return, it won’t be a return to your former life. If you marry me and become the Duchess of Hillan, Count Vansfelt will no longer be able to pressure you in any way.”

“Wouldn’t it just be a change of place and position? Also… even if my father weren’t there, you would be.”

His eyes widened somewhat, as if he hadn’t expected Kisa to compare him to her father.

Feeling somewhat troubled by that sight, Kisa added explanatorily.

“I know. You’ve been incomparably kinder to me than my father. I’m still grateful for that even now. Thanks to you, I’ve been able to view myself more positively than before.”

Without him, she wouldn’t have been able to break off her engagement with Daniel, and her rebellious will would have long since withered under the oppression of her father and Daniel.

‘If that had been the case, what would have remained would have been a life of simply obeying Daniel after my father.’

And probably, if those two men had been in this position now, instead of persuading Kisa like Seyard, they would have used force to drag her away.

Kisa knew this fact well. That’s why she had previously considered meeting someone like Seyard, who completely respected her opinions, as once-in-a-lifetime fortune.

‘But it was different.’

What he truly wanted was for Kisa to choose him of her own free will.

‘Free will’ and ‘choosing him’ – he had no intention of giving up either of these, and for that he could deceive Kisa as much as necessary.

Seyard cherished Kisa while simultaneously deceiving her, and prepared a cage to force her actions.

A beautiful cage made of bars much wider and more transparent than those of Count Vansfelt and Daniel’s cage, making it difficult for Kisa to notice that it was actually confinement.

Moreover, he now intended to take Kisa back to that cage and hold her even more securely.

The path he would lead would be a silk road full of flowers, and life inside the cage would be extremely peaceful and abundant.

Even Kisa, who had refused marriage and left, might eventually adapt if she lived there.

She might think that living like this wasn’t so bad, that one couldn’t always live exactly as one wanted.

She might forget the difficult life in a foreign land and settle for comfort.

Because his love and everything else Seyard gave was so sweet.

However, that was not what Kisa truly wanted at this moment.

Even if she might someday face insurmountable difficulties and regret this choice, Kisa did not want to live inside a cage.

To convey this sincere wish of hers to Seyard, she opened her mouth.

“Seyard, I will never forget the kindness you’ve shown me. You’ve granted almost everything I hoped for. So couldn’t you listen to me just this once more?”

Seyard, with a sunken expression, remained silent.

“I don’t want to return. Not to Sorbi. Not to your side. Our places are different from each other. So if you truly love me…”

“Stop.”

The man’s face, who had interrupted Kisa’s words, was twisted with anguish.

“Why do you say such sad things, Kisa?”

Kisa was somewhat flustered but answered without backing down.

“Even if it’s sad, it’s something that must be said.”

“Won’t it work even if I make greater efforts?”

“As I said before, I don’t think this is a problem that can be solved through effort.”

“How can you be so certain?”

“That’s…”

Kisa was at a loss for words.

In her opinion, Seyard’s character wasn’t something that could be changed through effort, and she had never even considered that it could be changed.

But she was, after all, another person and not Seyard himself, so she felt reluctant to declare definitively that his limits were only this far.

While Kisa hesitated about how to respond, he took another step closer to her.

“Please give me just one more chance. If there’s anything about me that displeases you, I’ll fix it.”

Seyard, who had suddenly embraced Kisa, whispered quietly in her ear.

“Please let me go.”

She tried to escape from his embrace, but for Kisa, squirming was all she could manage.

“Just for a moment, just briefly.”

Because Seyard’s voice was so earnest, the strength naturally drained from Kisa’s body.

The man who had placed his hand on the back of her head said.

“Kisa, let’s take more time and make an effort together. This isn’t just a problem between the two of us, is it?”

“…What?”

Just as she was about to ask what he meant, the answer came first.

“For the sake of our baby in your womb, please don’t just push me away like this.”

At that moment, she had to draw in her breath.

This was the topic that Kisa had been trying to avoid, consciously or unconsciously, all along.