If You Wish to Have Me - Chapter 160

As expected, Seyard had already noticed.

Although Kisa had also suspected this fact, a fresh shock swept through her mind.

For a brief moment, she had fallen into the illusion that her pregnancy wasn’t such a big issue between the two of them.

Because he had thoroughly avoided mentioning her swollen belly as if he couldn’t bear to see it.

But what change of heart was this? Seyard had now pulled out that card.

“I’m sorry, Kisa.”

As the man’s body pulled away, delicate hands touched Kisa’s stiffened cheek.

“Because I put my selfishness first, you, who are no longer alone, had to make this long journey. I’m truly sorry.”

The reddish-brown eyes looking at the woman who had ruined the wedding and fled contained not a trace of resentment or sense of betrayal.

“I understand your reluctance to return to Sorbi, and your discomfort with me. But I dare to hope that you will give me a chance to change.”

Pure supplication, nothing more than that.

“Until the moment my life ends, I will strive to be a good husband and father while protecting you and our child. I will create the best environment for both of you, and whatever you two want, I will achieve it as long as my power allows.”

He appeared to be thinking sincerely only of her and the child.

Kisa, left speechless, silently gazed at Seyard, whose eyes had reddened as if he might shed tears at any moment.

Ah, what a perfect figure this was.

Whatever lay within, the man’s exterior remained as exemplary as ever, shining like the sun floating in the sky.

Compared to Kisa, whose skin had become rough and whose appearance had deteriorated considerably due to her not-so-short life in hiding, he was completely different—to the point where she wanted to crawl into a mouse hole.

If someone unaware of the detailed circumstances had been present at this moment, they would have been impressed by his seemingly sincere appearance.

No, there was no need to go as far as a third party—if it had been Kisa from not long ago, she would likely have embraced the man without long deliberation and comforted him, saying everything was fine now.

She had once been captivated by this perfectly good person-like aspect of his.

But once trust had crumbled, Kisa could not believe his words at face value.

Seyard could build a new cage this time—one so subtle and solid that Kisa wouldn’t even notice, or if she did notice, one she could tolerate.

Moreover, having already experienced Kisa’s escape, a second time would be difficult for Seyard to allow.

She absolutely must not return to him, a voice inside Kisa shouted, telling her not to believe those words.

But another voice existed as well.

There was the voice that carefully asked if she couldn’t trust him just this once, and the self-deprecating voice that lamented what use any of it was now that she had been discovered by him, whether she believed or not.

Among them was even the cowardly argument that returning to him would be best for the child’s sake.

Perhaps sensing Kisa’s confusion, Seyard spoke of a hopeful future.

“There will be difficulties and conflicts, but we will certainly overcome them all.”

“…….”

“Perhaps that’s why God gave us this child. I want to believe that.”

Listening to his words, Kisa wondered whether Seyard truly believed in God.

****

That day, having said what he wanted to say to Kisa, Seyard obediently left the shabby lodging as he had promised.

But that didn’t mean the watchful eyes monitoring Kisa’s movements had disappeared.

Even now, those under his command would be watching to see if Kisa would flee somewhere else again.

Knowing this fact actually put her mind at ease.

Kisa pulled back the thick curtains that had been covering the windows and freely enjoyed the sunlight.

There was no longer any need to hide like a sewer rat for fear of being discovered by pursuers.

Though it was merely walking around the vicinity of the lodging, she also enjoyed light strolls.

Feeling the vitality flowing through the streets with her body, she finally felt the reality of living like a human being.

Though her appetite hadn’t quite returned, she diligently ate the food that Gale had brought her recently.

Fortunately, her morning sickness had also subsided compared to when it had reached its peak, so eating wasn’t entirely miserable.

Three days passed like this, and on a particularly cloudy afternoon when the sky was overcast.

Seyard visited Kisa at exactly the time he had set during his previous visit.

“I brought some food to share. Would you like to eat together? I also have a few modest gifts.”

Entering the room like an invited guest, he placed one by one on the table the luxurious dishes that Kisa hadn’t been able to touch for months.

Instead of stopping Seyard’s actions, Kisa checked the gifts he had brought.

Along with items she had previously enjoyed using, such as handkerchiefs and music boxes, there were also things she needed now, like maternity clothes.

“I prepared these in my own way. I hope they’re to your liking.”

Kisa didn’t particularly respond to his words and didn’t lay a finger on the food on the table.

However, even at such a dry attitude, Seyard showed no signs of embarrassment or disappointment.

“Next time I’ll try bringing different things. If there’s anything you want, please tell me anytime.”

If there was something she wanted from him, there was exactly one thing, but Seyard seemed to have no intention of granting it.

Afterward, the man circled around Kisa as he had before, telling her various stories.

Though he received no meaningful responses from her, he remained consistently affectionate and kind throughout.

Listening to stories about what was fashionable in Sorbi these days and what absurd incidents had occurred in high society, Kisa felt as if all of this was like a dream of one night.

It seemed as though she had merely gone on a short trip to a distant place and would naturally return there someday.

“Are you planning to come again?”

When Seyard was about to leave the room, saying he would return now, Kisa spoke up for almost the first time.

Both of them knew well that this wasn’t simply asking about his next visit.

Seyard answered readily.

“Yes, I’ll come again next time.”

He once again set a specific schedule for next time and opened the door to go outside.

Kisa could vividly picture in her mind his figure coming here in a few days, just like today.

He was someone who never gave up until he achieved his purpose.

Even if he left his family estate for a long time, even if people questioned Duke Hillan’s prolonged absence, he would remain in Matera and continue to visit Kisa indefinitely.

Even if Kisa fled to another place tonight under cover of darkness, he would calmly set foot in Kisa’s new dwelling.

He would never forcibly take Kisa away.

But he intended to continue visiting and persuading Kisa until the day she followed him out.

If Kisa pleaded with him, the frequency of his visits might decrease or the intervals might lengthen, but that would probably be the maximum compromise he could offer.

As long as Seyard didn’t give up, Kisa would have to see him wherever she was. She would have to accept him into her daily life. Forever and ever.

After thinking alone for quite a long time, Kisa made up her mind.

She couldn’t live such a life.

If she alone suffered inconvenience, it wouldn’t matter, but this was a path that would make even the people helping her suffer.

There was no guarantee that Seyard’s tolerance would extend to others besides her.

Especially when Gale had interrupted their time together, the expression Seyard had worn remained in her heart for a long time.

She didn’t know about others, but for Gale’s safety, she had to take action as soon as possible.

Thus, one afternoon, Kisa looked at Seyard, who had again come punctually, and spoke her decision.

“Fine, Seyard. You win.”

She could no longer continue a fight with no chance of victory.

“I’ll do as you wish, but promise me one thing. You must not cause any harm whatsoever to the people who have helped me so far. If you ever break this promise, I will resent you until the day I die.”

After gazing at Kisa for a moment, Seyard soon gave the answer she had expected.

“I gladly promise.”

With this, Kisa’s flight came to an end.