If You Wish to Have Me - Chapter 81-90

Chap 81

I Love You

The unexpectedly soft skin touched Kisa’s lips briefly before pulling away.

It was a fleeting contact, just enough to tease.

Kisa unconsciously parted her lips slightly. She couldn’t quite comprehend the words she had just heard and what had transpired because of them.

But perhaps her reaction was interpreted as permission.

The second contact was much more brazen.

“Mmph.”

Seyard’s tongue invaded past her lips, swallowing Kisa’s short moan.

Then he slowly explored the intimate territory inside.

At the subtle sensation of his movement, Kisa tightly shut her eyes as if trying to escape.

Thinking she should quickly stop this act, she moved her arm to push against the man’s shoulder.

But her resistance, if it could even be called that, ended after just a couple of attempts.

Her slender arm, which had grabbed his shoulder as if it were a lifeline, trembled visibly.

Does she want to stop, or not? She herself couldn’t tell.

Sensing her confusion, the intruder surprisingly retreated of his own accord.

At last, Kisa was freed from the kiss.

As she caught her breath with a “haah,” Seyard wiped her small lips, moistened with a trace of saliva, with his thumb.

Meeting his gaze with trembling eyes, she saw he looked no different than usual. The same kind and gentle person.

But somehow, the familiar reddish-brown eyes seemed to have a darker gleam than ever before.

The unmistakable scent of desire hung in the air.

“Seyard.”

Kisa instinctively spoke his name but then fell silent, not knowing what to say next.

Everything in her mind was a jumbled mess of confusion.

It would be nice if he could draw her out with a clear answer as he always did.

Today, however, Seyard was frustratingly patient, waiting for Kisa’s next words.

Kisa decided to first ask about the shocking event that had just occurred.

“Why, why… did you kiss me?”

The answer to her fragile question came immediately.

“Because I love you.”

Love. Kisa mulled over the word that had come from his mouth with a dazed mind.

Come to think of it, he had said he loved her even before their kiss.

He says he loves her.

Seyard Hillan says he loves Kisa Vansfelt.

“……”

It was a surprising revelation no matter how many times she turned it over in her mind, but it wasn’t as if she had never considered the possibility before.

After all, Seyard had been excessively affectionate.

Theirs was a relationship formed on the shared understanding of wanting to avoid unwanted marriages, but if asked whether Kisa and Seyard had given equally to each other, the answer would obviously be ‘no.’

Compared to Kisa merely serving as his suitable marriage partner, what he had given was overflowing.

First, he had promised benefits to the Vansfelt family to persuade Count Vansfelt to agree to break off his daughter’s engagement.

Though she didn’t know exactly how substantial it was, it must have been considerable enough for the Count to change his mind.

Furthermore, Seyard’s reputation had somewhat suffered due to suspicions of stealing another man’s fiancée.

‘Above all…….’

He had devoted far more of his attention and time to Kisa than necessary in everything.

He had listened to her worries, sometimes offered solutions, and even when he couldn’t, he had always been a source of strength through consistent encouragement and support.

That’s why even in moments when they were pretending to be real lovers—holding hands and embracing to appear genuine to those around them—Kisa had harbored this doubt in the back of her heart.

The doubt that perhaps this wasn’t entirely an act.

But she had deliberately suppressed these audacious thoughts.

What had been the outcome with Daniel, whom she had loved for over a decade?

She didn’t want to agonize over man troubles anymore, and she was afraid of making Seyard the subject of such troubles.

She didn’t want to contaminate this already sufficiently pleasant relationship with the impurity of romantic feelings.

Seyard was already Kisa’s good friend, excellent mentor, and compatible companion.

If they were to become lovers who shared love, she couldn’t ask for more, but there was no guarantee it would work out that way.

It was potentially a destructive emotion that could ruin other aspects of their relationship.

After all, hadn’t she and Daniel, childhood friends, become worse than strangers?

Although Seyard was an incomparably better person than Daniel—no, precisely because of that—she didn’t want to have an awkward relationship with him.

Kisa was fearful of that deep down.

“Let me say it again, Kisa.”

And now, as if to shatter such fears.

“I love you.”

Seyard confessed his love.

“Um, I……”

Like someone searching for a place to escape, Kisa took a step back, but Seyard’s unwavering gaze stopped her.

Her desire not to disappoint him became an invisible wall blocking her path.

“I’m sorry. It’s too sudden.”

Seyard shook his head at Kisa’s apology.

“You have nothing to apologize for. I’m the one who suddenly revealed my feelings, and I’m the one waiting for your answer with a guilty conscience.”

He raised his right hand and tucked Kisa’s disheveled hair behind her ear.

“I’d like to hear your honest feelings. What do you think of me?”

Honest feelings? I’m not sure. Her mind was too complex for her thoughts to be organized.

“……”

Although Kisa kept her mouth shut for a while, Seyard spoke as if coaxing her, without showing any impatience.

“Then it doesn’t have to be thoughts about me or an answer to my confession. It doesn’t matter what it is, could you just tell me the emotion you’re feeling right now?”

Encouraged by his voice, gentle as a spring breeze, Kisa managed to move her lips.

“I don’t know if it’s an emotion… Actually, there’s something I’ve been curious about.”

“Tell me.”

“What is it about me that you like, Seyard?”

After asking, she rambles as if making excuses.

“No, I just don’t understand. Why would someone as wonderful and remarkable as Seyard like someone like me-.”

“What kind of person is someone like Kisa?”

“Huh? Ah, I don’t have any particular talents, and compared to Seyard, my family isn’t even that prestigious……”

Of course, she had received countless compliments on her exceptional beauty since childhood, and she wasn’t particularly averse to them, but for some reason, she felt that Seyard wouldn’t love someone simply for their appearance. Though that might just be her wishful thinking.

But Seyard’s response was unexpected.

“Is that important?”

He instead questioned Kisa back.

“I don’t agree with your excessively pessimistic self-assessment. Kisa is a much better person than you think you are. But even if that self-assessment were correct, it wouldn’t be a reason for me not to love you.”

While Kisa couldn’t respond and just blinked, Seyard continued.

“To be honest, I’m not exactly sure what part of you I fell for either. When I came to my senses, I found myself increasingly paying attention to you from some point.”

The hand that had been hovering around Kisa’s face after tidying her hair came down to her cheek. Very slowly.

“When we first met, you were crying. Since then, I’ve been curious moment by moment.”

His touch brushing below Kisa’s eyes was respectful.

“Whether your tears had stopped by now, if you were still suffering from the same worries, if your eyes were sore from too much crying.”

Kisa looked up at the reddish-brown eyes that now shone with a softer light than before, as if entranced.

“That led me to seek you out again, to want to keep watching over you, and finally to realize that the emotion making me like this was love.”

Seyard caressed Kisa’s shoulder with an extremely careful touch, as if handling a glass sculpture.

“Well, I’ve ended up saying it again.”

I love you.

Only after he had said it three times did those words fully reach Kisa’s heart.

Kisa could finally feel the reality that Seyard loved her.

His gaze, his touch, and his voice told her it was undoubtedly true.

“Seyard.”

Now all that remained was for her to respond to his feelings.

Seyard said she could take more time to answer, but Kisa, moved by his sincere confession, wanted to tell him right away.

Kisa looked deep inside herself, at what she had been avoiding with various excuses.

How did she feel about Seyard?

In truth, there was no need to ask. How could she not like him?

For quite some time, he had been more than just a good friend, excellent mentor, and compatible companion to Kisa; he had been someone who gave her heart-fluttering emotions.

She now honestly admits it.

The reason Kisa had been so concerned about Gabriel wasn’t solely out of responsibility. She was curious about the outcome of his love because she had misunderstood that he was in love with Seyard.

It was also why she couldn’t simply dismiss Daniel’s words about Seyard’s suspicious past.

Because she couldn’t regard him as just a contract marriage partner, Kisa had even gone to St. Pavela Monastery.

It wasn’t only Seyard who had introduced personal feelings into their contract-based relationship.

And so she opened her mouth.

“I actually……”

Just as she was about to confess her honest feelings, that she liked him too—

[The things you wanted but couldn’t have.

I will take them all.]

The eerie voice of a pitiful boy brushed past her ear.

Why was she reminded of that passage from the diary at this moment?

“Kisa.”

As she was thinking about it, Seyard lifted Kisa’s chin to meet her gaze.

“Forget everything else, just tell me how you feel.”

Ah, she had seen this look before.

The look of a dominator that made her unable to resist.

Kisa unconsciously blurted out.

“I love you, Seyard.”

At that moment, he smiled.

 

Chap 82

Jewelry Box in the Drawer

Seyard pulled Kisa close, holding her in his embrace.

Then, with a slightly trembling voice, he whispered in her ear.

“I’m delighted that you love me too. Truly delighted.”

Was he overwhelmed? This was unlike his usual composed self in any situation.

“I promise. I will certainly make you happy, Kisa.”

I’ve already received more than I deserve from you. Kisa was about to answer that way.

But before she could even open her mouth, Seyard continued.

“So for now, let’s think only of our feelings.”

Only of our feelings. It was like magic.

With those words, various shadows that had loomed in Kisa’s heart melted away like snow on a spring day.

Her sense of indebtedness toward Seyard, vague anxiety about the future. And the worries that had troubled her these past few days… let’s put them all aside for now.

At this moment, she wanted to surrender herself to these sweet emotions welling up inside her, just as he said.

Feeling his strong arms around her waist, Kisa answered after a long while in a tiny voice. “Yes,” she said.

****

“Miss.”

“……”

“Miss?”

“……”

“Miss!”

Startled by the loud voice near her ear, Kisa looked at her nanny with wide, rabbit-like eyes.

“What is it, Nanny?”

The nanny, who had been cleaning the window frame, tilted her head suspiciously as she looked at Kisa sitting at her desk.

“You haven’t been listening to me, have you?”

“Oh, yes. I was just lost in thought.”

The nanny’s eyes narrowed as she held a wet cloth.

“Miss, do you realize you’ve been particularly absent-minded today? Did something happen yesterday? Come to think of it, you visited Duke Hillan’s residence. So perhaps with the Duke—”

Afraid that something odd might be said, Kisa hurriedly waved her hand.

“Nothing happened. Now, if you have something to tell me, just say it.”

The doubt wasn’t particularly strong, as the nanny willingly changed the subject.

“About this bag you took out yesterday. Shall I put it away for you?”

As soon as she saw the bag in the nanny’s hand, Kisa darted forward and snatched it.

“It’s fine. I’ll put it away myself.”

“My, are you hiding some treasure in there?”

“No, nothing like that. It’s just… I feel a bit sorry for always leaving everything to you.”

After briefly glancing back and forth between Kisa and the handbag, the nanny soon smiled mischievously.

“I see. You must have received quite a gift from the Duke yesterday.”

“What?”

“I’m a bit hurt that you don’t want to show me what it is, but I understand. You’re at that age. When I was your age, I had many unnecessary secrets too. Especially regarding romance.”

Thinking it better to let the misunderstanding stand, Kisa vaguely agreed with the nanny’s words.

“Ah, well. That’s right.”

“My goodness, how intimate a time must you have spent with the Duke yesterday to be so dazed since morning?”

…For the record, this was actually true.

“Anyway, seeing you so happy makes me happy too. You look much happier than when you liked Young Master Daniel.”

“Do I?”

“Yes, to my eyes that have served you for so long, it’s quite obvious.”

“When did I ever act like the world would end if I couldn’t marry that fellow?”

At Kisa’s grumbling, the nanny responded defensively.

“W-well, back then we didn’t know someone like Duke Hillan would appear. Who could have imagined that you would marry someone as perfect as a prince on a white horse from a fairy tale?”

“A perfect person, you say.”

“Ignorant people may call him extravagant and impulsive, but that’s practically perfect. How could anyone be flawless from head to toe?”

“……”

“Oh my! Look at me. I forgot I need to pick up the laundry from the laundry room. Miss, I’ll see you later!”

With that, the nanny hurriedly left Kisa’s room.

After being lost in thought for a moment, Kisa looked down at the handbag she was holding.

Carefully opening the handbag, she took out the leather notebook that had been resting at the very bottom.

This was the item she had intended to give to Seyard yesterday, but due to his sudden confession of love, she ultimately hadn’t even mentioned its existence.

While wondering how she could have forgotten something so important, looking back at the memory, she could understand why.

As the nanny had guessed, Kisa had been in a half-dazed state since last evening because of the time spent with Seyard.

‘The person I like actually likes me back.’

It was a strange sensation, as if her body was floating in mid-air.

In Kisa’s life of just over twenty years, love had always been an unrequited emotion, but as of yesterday, that was no longer the case.

None other than someone nearly perfect like Seyard had told her that he loved her.

As such, Kisa didn’t want to ruin this sense of complete happiness.

“…Later.”

After staring at his diary for a long time as if in a staring contest, she made her decision.

She would return the notebook to Seyard at an appropriate opportunity later.

They had just confirmed their feelings for each other, so there was no need to make things awkward.

No matter how difficult his childhood records might be, it seemed unlikely that an object containing such raw hatred would evoke good feelings in him.

Moreover, though it was embarrassing, Kisa had already checked its contents.

It would be simple to lie and say she hadn’t read it.

But Kisa didn’t want to lie to him, and she wasn’t confident she could deceive someone as perceptive as him.

So, later. When the right time came, she would return it to Seyard.

Even while clearly knowing it was an evasion, Kisa decided to keep this evidence of sin, given by the old monk, for the time being.

Having made up her mind, she needed to put it into action.

‘I can’t let the nanny or other servants see it.’

They regularly touched every corner of Kisa’s room. Except for one place.

Going to her vanity table, Kisa opened the bottom drawer.

This revealed a wooden jewelry box with intricate floral patterns engraved on it.

After fiddling with the lock on the lid a few times, it unlocked within seconds.

Contrary to its original purpose, it contained more items of little value than actual jewelry.

To begin with, Kisa had a separate jewelry box on top of the vanity table where she kept her real jewelry.

In other words, there was relatively less worry about this jewelry box being stolen.

Most of the servants who entered Kisa’s room knew that she kept her jewelry in the box on top of the vanity table.

This was an item she had received as a gift years ago, and although she had no use for it, it seemed too valuable to throw away, so she had tucked it away in the drawer she opened least often.

However, at some point, Kisa had started using this jewelry box for the purpose of hiding a different type of item.

The contents were things like her diary or letters her deceased mother had left for her daughter—items she didn’t want others to see, regardless of their monetary value.

In Kisa’s room, there was no better place to hide the leather notebook.

Kisa placed Seyard’s boyhood diary next to her own diary and was about to close the lid.

But at that moment, something caught her eye.

The most recently added item among these—the marriage contract with Seyard.

“This is probably unnecessary now.”

Kisa murmured, holding the contract rolled up in scroll form.

The two of them were now in a relationship where they genuinely loved each other, so the contract that had forced their relationship might be useless now.

After the contract period of two years ended, Kisa had no intention of leaving his side.

“Still, there’s no need to throw it away.”

After all, wasn’t it a precious memory shared with Seyard?

Even now, when she closed her eyes, she could vividly recall the memory of putting their heads together to decide on the wording that would be written in the contract.

Kisa put it back in the jewelry box, closed the lid, and locked it.

****

Two days later, Kisa went out for a date with Seyard.

The date was quite overdue, as Kisa had been to Bonzmos, and Seyard had visited his territory.

Furthermore, it was their first date after confirming their feelings.

In a way, this could be considered their first true date.

Perhaps because of this, Kisa felt excited yet simultaneously nervous throughout the date.

It was strange. They had simply dined at an elegant restaurant as usual and wandered around the shopping district, but for some reason, her heart was pounding.

“Kisa, how does it taste?”

“G-g-good.”

Even her voice trembled when Seyard asked questions with his charming smile.

“I’m glad to hear that.”

Seeing him simply smile despite her awkward appearance, Kisa bowed her head deeply.

She hadn’t imagined that dating someone you love could be such a heart-fluttering experience; it was beyond imagination.

However, the exciting time didn’t last very long.

“I’m truly sorry, but I must go now. His Majesty the King is looking for me.”

Although unable to prevent their marriage, the King still seemed to view Seyard, who had refused the marriage proposal with his youngest daughter, unfavorably.

“It’s okay. It can’t be helped.”

Kisa tried to hide her disappointment and answered brightly.

“Would you like me to escort you to the Vansfelt residence on my way to the palace?”

“That’s all right. I can call our family carriage here. And I’d like to look around while I’m in the bustling area.”

“I understand. I’ll contact the Vansfelt family.”

After saying that, Seyard left some guards to accompany Kisa and departed.

Afterward, Kisa wandered the streets as she had told him.

“Oh my, fancy meeting you here.”

Then she encountered an unexpected person.

“This is our second meeting, Lady Vansfelt.”

Madame Oshuana.

[I saw your fiancé courting a widow.]

The person who had revealed the truth to Kisa long ago.

 

Chap 83

Aria Stampfer

“Oh, hello.”

Encountering an unexpected person in an unexpected place, Kisa greeted her with a bewildered face.

In contrast, Aria Oshuana responded as warmly as if meeting a close friend.

“Do you happen to have time right now? Since we’ve met by chance, would you like to go somewhere and have a chat?”

Kisa looked at her for a moment before nodding.

“That would be nice, Mrs. Oshuana. As it happens, I also have something I wanted to tell you.”

She mentioned knowing a nearby tea house and led Kisa there.

The destination they arrived at shortly had an elegant exterior and a calm atmosphere.

Looking around, it seemed to be a popular place with quite a few customers, but the tables were spaced far apart with many pillars between them, making it unlikely for anyone to eavesdrop on their conversation.

It appeared to be her consideration for Kisa, who attracted attention wherever she went as the Duke of Hillan’s fiancée.

Perhaps impatient by nature, Aria got straight to the point right after they sat down and placed their orders.

“You said you had something to tell me. What is it?”

Come to think of it, she had shown little interest in customary topics like weather or greetings when they first met at Melissa’s tea party a few months ago.

And as soon as they were alone, she had immediately revealed Daniel’s shameful secret.

Kisa opened her dry lips.

“I wanted to express my gratitude.”

“Gratitude?”

Aria opened her eyes wide, seemingly surprised.

“You told me about Daniel’s—my former fiancé’s—secret back then.”

“Ah, that’s what you mean.”

“Thank you. If it weren’t for you, I might have married that man without knowing anything. And I’m sorry for responding so harshly when I couldn’t believe what you said at the time. I’ve wanted to tell you this if I ever met you again.”

That was Kisa’s sincere sentiment.

There was a time when Aria Oshuana had seemed like an unwelcome visitor who brought misfortune to Kisa’s life.

But that was merely a story from when Kisa lacked peace of mind due to the situation with Daniel.

Looking back after some time had passed, Aria was nothing short of a messenger of good fortune.

Without her, Kisa would have remained completely oblivious to Daniel’s deception and would never have met Seyard or gained the happiness she now possessed.

Even if Kisa hadn’t accidentally met Aria today, she would have sought her out to formally express her gratitude before marrying Seyard and moving to Hillan territory.

“…….”

Aria silently observed Kisa with interest through her cat-like eyes for a while.

Finally, when the tea house server brought the tea they had ordered, she spoke.

“I’m glad I told you after all.”

She savored the aroma of the tea the server had placed before them with leisurely movements.

“What could be more infuriating than watching someone as pure and good as you being deceived by such a character?”

But when Kisa expressed her gratitude once more, Aria shook her head.

“Actually, you shouldn’t be thanking Lady Vansfelt. It wasn’t out of pure goodwill.”

“What?”

“May I make a confession? Oshuana is my maiden name. I married a man named Robin Stampfer. So technically, I’m Mrs. Stampfer.”

“Ah… is that so?”

Nodding awkwardly, a question mark appeared in Kisa’s mind.

Kisa had been introduced to Aria as Aria Oshuana from the first time Melissa introduced her.

This meant that Aria had likely told Melissa her maiden name from the beginning.

Melissa probably believed what Aria, who was a foreigner, told her about herself without question.

Why had Aria hidden her current surname? And why was she suddenly revealing the truth now?

While pondering these questions, Kisa couldn’t help but blink.

‘Wait, Robin Stampfer?’

For some reason, the name of Aria’s husband sounded familiar.

It seemed like she had encountered it several times before. Not recently, but quite some time ago.

The answer came in a flash.

“Could it be that your husband is Daniel’s friend?”

To Kisa’s startled question, Aria sighed faintly and confirmed it was true.

Robin Stampfer. A name that had briefly appeared in letters Daniel sent while studying abroad.

From what she had heard, he was a man Daniel met shortly after going to the neighboring country of Jackeu to study.

He was also a foreign student from the Kingdom of Sorbi, and since he and Daniel got along well, the two quickly became close.

Aria took a sip of her tea before explaining about herself.

“I fell in love with my husband when he was a student, eventually married him, and followed him here. I’ve met your former fiancé a few times as well.”

“…So you’re from Jackeu.”

“Didn’t you guess from my accent?”

“A little.”

But she hadn’t bothered to ask.

Although diplomatic relations had been normalized long ago, the emotional divide between the two countries remained deep after countless wars throughout their long history.

Being from Jackeu didn’t result in mistreatment, but it didn’t exactly invite favorable views either.

“I sometimes use the Oshuana surname because it has less of a foreign feel when I want to hide my marriage. Though no matter how hard I try, there’s only so much I can do about my accent.”

“So you introduced yourself as Aria Oshuana to hide your marriage from me? May I ask why? Was it because you didn’t want to reveal that your husband is Daniel’s friend?”

“That’s right.”

Frankly affirming Kisa’s question, Aria shared her circumstances.

“One day, Robin told me that he had done something terrible to Daniel’s fiancée.”

“To me?”

“Yes, actually, the person who first took your former fiancé to that tea house was my husband.”

Though the exact name wasn’t mentioned, Kisa immediately knew which tea house she meant.

The Willow Tree. The place operated by Hazel Turdy.

“He said he had taken his friend to an interesting gathering, but never expected that friend would develop such an intimate relationship with the host. He tried to stop him, but that person wouldn’t listen and complained about feeling sorry for you.”

“…….”

“So I took action. I thought it would be easier for me to approach you as a woman rather than my husband, who was reluctant to get directly involved for fear of damaging his relationship with Daniel. He’s not a bad person, just a bit timid.”

“So you deliberately became acquainted with Melissa to meet me.”

“Correct. After a little research, I realized that approaching you through Lady Dos would be the easiest way. In fact, we had a chance to talk alone from our very first meeting.”

Aria playfully winked one eye, then continued.

“When I actually met you, you were much more innocent than I had imagined and had such absolute faith in your fiancé that I felt I couldn’t just stand by. Of course, my fundamental motivation was to make up for my husband’s mistake, so I’m not in a position to receive your gratitude.”

Kisa focused her gaze on the teacup in front of her for a moment before speaking.

“No, even so, it doesn’t diminish the significance of the kindness you showed me.”

Life was indeed unpredictable.

Melissa, whom she had considered a lifelong friend, had hidden Daniel’s truth despite knowing it, while Aria, a complete stranger, had stepped forward for Kisa without ever having met her.

Moreover, even after being betrayed by Daniel whom she had loved for so long, hadn’t she fallen in love again after meeting Seyard?

‘Come to think of it, my relationship with Seyard is all thanks to Aria.’

If she hadn’t heard Aria’s story that day and faced the truth, she would never have met Seyard while crying in the library’s reading room.

“Thank you again, Aria.”

Kisa once more conveyed her sincere gratitude to her benefactor.

Afterward, the two women conversed more openly about various topics.

“Anyway, things turned out this way because of my husband’s foolish actions.”

“Come on, it’s not like your husband took him to the gathering expecting Daniel to behave that way.”

“That’s true, but… Looking back now, I never really liked that fellow. Always showing off and looking down on others. Don’t you think?”

“Well, he was a bit like that.”

“A bit?”

“No, quite a lot.”

The two women exchanged glances in silence before breaking into giggles.

Aria was unlike anyone Kisa had ever met before, and the time spent with her was delightful.

Perhaps because they shared a common enemy in Daniel Lowens, they quickly became close.

“I really don’t understand why Robin is friends with him. He doesn’t match my unpretentious husband at all. Thankfully, it seems like he’s been keeping his distance lately. That Daniel person. It seems he’s been distracted by something else recently and often misses their gatherings.”

After thoroughly gossiping about Daniel, Aria’s eyes suddenly lit up as if a good idea had occurred to her.

“Oh, speaking of gatherings. Kisa, would you like to join our group?”

“What?”

“Not that group of pseudo-intellectuals that Daniel and my husband belong to, but a social group I formed with my friends. They’re all good people.”

“Hmm, would it be all right for me to suddenly join?”

“Of course. As long as you have the endorsement of an existing member, everyone welcomes newcomers with an open mind.”

Though somewhat sudden, Kisa nodded at Aria’s insistence.

It couldn’t hurt to experience different kinds of social interactions, could it?

After parting with her, Kisa boarded the carriage sent from the Vansfelt mansion with an excited heart.

‘Aria.’

It seemed she had made a new friend.

****

That evening.

“You?”

Returning home, Aria entered the study looking for her husband.

“Oh, darling. You’re back?”

Her husband, Robin Stampfer, greeted his wife while dusting off the ash on his hands.

“Did you meet the person you were supposed to meet?”

“Yes, she was a good person indeed. Kisa, that is.”

“You must have become quite close to call her by her first name.”

“That’s right. I invited her to my friends’ gathering as I mentioned before. But…….”

She glanced at the ashtray next to her husband. A blackened piece of paper caught her eye.

“It seems another letter from that ‘benefactor’ has arrived. What kind of secret conversations are you having that you need to burn every letter?”

 

Chap 84

A Miraculous Thing

“Hmm.”

At Aria’s question, Robin merely flashed a somewhat troubled smile.

Not all nobles are wealthy.

Even among noble families, there were quite a few cases where they went bankrupt due to failed estate management or various other reasons, ending up in worse situations than wealthy commoners.

Robin’s Stampfer family was one such case.

Robin Stampfer was an ambitious young man who wouldn’t hesitate to study abroad in Jackeu, his country’s longtime rival, if there was something to learn. However, the Stampfer family lacked the means to support his academic pursuits.

Due to a series of misfortunes spanning several generations, the Stampfer family had lost most of their assets, including their estate, and could barely make ends meet.

In such circumstances, someone recognized Robin’s true value and stepped forward to actively support him—this was the benefactor he spoke of.

Thanks to this generous patronage, Robin successfully completed his studies abroad, returned home to become a royal official, and was now on his own path to success.

That being the case, it was only natural that he would refer to his benefactor as his lifelong savior.

A mysterious benefactor who concealed their identity. Aria didn’t know their name, where they lived, whether they were male or female, what their social status was, or even if they were an individual or an organization.

Although Robin was a devoted husband who enjoyed sharing his daily life with his wife, he kept his lips tightly sealed when it came to his benefactor.

Aria only knew that he maintained regular contact with the benefactor and occasionally worked for them. Though she had no idea what kind of work it was.

“Robin, isn’t it about time you told me? We are husband and wife after all.”

As his wife approached and pressed him, Robin scratched his head.

“It was just a simple greeting along with inquiries about royal affairs.”

“Then why are you so determined to hide it?”

“As I’ve told you before, my benefactor is firmly resolved not to reveal themselves to the world. So I destroy any letters containing their information as soon as I confirm them.”

“Isn’t that too thorough for keeping the secret of a ‘faceless angel’? You’re not some secret spy.”

Aria put her arm around her husband’s shoulder and smiled seductively.

“And your wife is confident she can keep a secret to the grave. Don’t you trust me?”

“I do.”

The answer came without hesitation as soon as she finished her question, but that didn’t mean Robin was willing to change his mind.

“But I hope you understand me. I’ve already promised to protect their secret for my entire life.”

“……”

Aria silently looked into his eyes for a while, then soon burst into laughter.

It was a moment when her seductive smile quickly transformed into that of a mischievous person.

“I know. I know. I’ve heard about that promise before. I just said it because I find it amusing how serious you are every time.”

She loved this aspect of her husband—his almost foolishly earnest nature—and in truth, she wasn’t all that curious about the benefactor’s identity.

Who cares who they are? Given that they provided full support to Robin, they must surely be a person with excellent judgment and good character.

Robin let out a sigh of relief as he looked at his wife.

“I’m glad you understand.”

“Now, let’s have dinner together.”

“Ah, just a moment. I have some remaining work, so I’ll finish this and join you right away.”

“Alright. Then I’ll write some letters to my friends in the meantime.”

Aria hummed cheerfully as she left the study.

“I’m thinking of inviting Kisa to the next gathering. I want to ask for their consent.”

“…That’s a good idea.”

After his wife disappeared, he picked up the paper knife from the desk and stirred the inside of the ashtray.

The blackened paper fragments completely lost their shape and turned to ash.

****

“…So I’m going to read that novel called ‘The Paradox of Sorrow.’ I heard it’s quite lengthy, so I’ll need to read diligently to finish it before the next gathering.”

During dinner with Seyard at the Hillan mansion, Kisa chattered excitedly.

“Oh, have you read that novel, Seyard? It’s quite an old work, but I heard it was quite famous when it was published.”

At his fiancée’s question, Seyard nodded slightly.

“I don’t remember the details, but I think I read it when I was young. It’s probably still in my library.”

“May I borrow it then? It might be in our library at home too, but I’d need my father’s permission to enter, which is somewhat awkward in many ways…”

He loosened his lips and answered readily.

“By all means. In fact, you don’t even need to ask. You’ll soon be the mistress of this mansion.”

“Pardon?”

Caught off guard by this unexpected statement, Kisa’s cheeks turned a faint red.

“Ah, yes, that’s true. But we’re not married yet…”

Seyard watched her with delight as she mumbled as if making excuses, and he picked up a small dessert spoon.

Then he reached for the ice cream cup across from him, scooped up a spoonful, and held it to Kisa’s lips.

“Seyard?”

“Open up.”

“I, I can eat on my own.”

“You’ve been so engrossed in conversation that you’ve hardly touched your dessert. The ice cream will melt at this rate. Ah.”

Since he showed no signs of backing down, Kisa hesitated briefly before opening her mouth.

Soon, a cool and sweet sensation spread through her mouth.

“How is it?”

Seyard asked with his chin resting on his hand, and Kisa readily answered.

“It’s delicious.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

He hasn’t even eaten his own yet. Kisa glanced across with a slightly aggrieved feeling.

In fact, the ice cream in front of Seyard had barely melted, remaining almost in its original state.

Perhaps sensing Kisa’s gaze, he soon took a spoonful of his own ice cream.

“It’s truly delicious.”

For reference, Seyard didn’t particularly switch spoons.

Heat rushed to Kisa’s face as she became conscious of this fact.

Kisa silently transferred her portion of ice cream to her mouth as if to cool her heated face.

Seyard was so nonchalant that it made her feel like she was the strange one.

‘No, am I right to feel strange?’

It seemed a bit excessive to overreact about sharing a spoon with someone she had already kissed.

Having recalled the memory of the kiss, Kisa was overcome with an even more peculiar feeling.

Though it had been nearly two weeks since then, whenever she thought about it, she wanted to hide in a mouse hole.

After that day, Kisa had avoided Seyard’s gaze for a while.

When she faced him, her eyes kept drifting to his smooth, well-shaped lips.

Like a pervert.

Moreover, the intense memory of that day invaded Kisa’s daily life even when Seyard wasn’t around.

She would think about it while eating, while strolling in the garden, even while playing the violin to calm her mind…

At night, when lying in bed, she had to twist and turn her body due to the embarrassment that inevitably resurfaced.

The kiss she shared with Seyard was that stimulating. Especially for Kisa, who had never experienced anything resembling a proper romance.

‘I had finally buried it!’

The reason Kisa was able to have a relatively normal dinner today with Seyard, the culprit behind all this, was thanks to the gathering Aria had invited her to.

Her friends were more unique than Kisa had expected.

People of various ages with diverse backgrounds had welcomed Kisa warmly.

There were noble young ladies who had not yet reached adulthood, as well as elderly ladies who had accumulated rich worldly experiences as merchants in their youth.

To be honest, Kisa was curious about how Aria had built friendships with such a diverse group of people.

For Kisa, who had mostly interacted with people similar to herself, like at Princess Arta’s tea parties, it felt like discovering a new world.

Kisa was immediately drawn to this gathering, which had apparently started as a book club but had now become closer to a simple social club.

Before she knew it, the gathering had ended, and the time to meet Seyard for dinner was approaching.

That was why Kisa had been telling him about what had happened at the gathering until just a moment ago.

But it seems that the impact of such a novel gathering was nothing compared to the person of Seyard Hillan.

Evidently so, since the memory of their kiss had once again invaded Kisa’s mind in less than half a day.

‘Since that day, we’ve only held hands during dates…’

Whether or not he was aware of his fiancée’s inner turmoil about whether this was too much, Seyard put down his dessert spoon with a fresh face.

“Anyway, it’s good that the gathering seems to suit Kisa well.”

“Ah. Yes. Indeed.”

Having similarly emptied her ice cream cup, Kisa put down her spoon and answered.

“I’m really grateful to Aria. She’s already a benefactor for revealing the truth about Daniel to me, and now she’s introduced me to such pleasant friends.”

In fact, until a few days ago, Kisa had been secretly wishing for someone like her.

A female friend with whom she could share her heart.

Of course, Seyard was the person closest to Kisa, but the feeling that came from someone of the opposite sex versus the same sex was different.

The time spent with Aria gave Kisa another kind of joy.

‘After things ended that way with Melissa, I thought I would never make friends again…’

Who would have thought such unexpected good fortune would find her?

“It’s truly a miraculous thing, isn’t it?”

At Kisa’s words, Seyard smiled gently.

“Indeed it is.”

 

Chap 85

Good Person

Even as Kisa was getting to know new people through Aria’s introduction, the preparations for the two’s wedding continued smoothly without any problems.

“Um… how does it look?”

Kisa’s vision captured Seyard’s slightly surprised expression as he stared at her.

After being unable to speak for a while, he finally answered in a somewhat husky voice.

“You’re beautiful beyond belief, Kisa.”

She thought this was truly the best response a man could give when facing his lover dressed in a pure white gown.

Just then, a woman approached the two with a friendly attitude and said:

“Thankfully, Duke Hillan has given quite generous praise. Is Lady Vansfelt satisfied as well?”

After checking her appearance once more in the full-length mirror, Kisa nodded willingly.

“Yes, it looks extremely beautiful to my eyes too. You’ve wonderfully transformed the dress in such a short time.”

“Oh my, thank you.”

The woman who covered her mouth shyly was a fairly famous dressmaker in the Kingdom of Sorbi.

There were others who were considered to have more excellent design skills than Madame Estes, who had made Kisa’s engagement dress.

However, in certain areas, she showed results that surpassed even Madame Estes, who exclusively handled dresses for the royal family.

Her true specialty wasn’t creating new dresses, but transforming existing ones into something new.

It was widely acclaimed that no matter how old a garment was, it would be reborn after passing through her hands.

Kisa had thought from the moment she first heard this story that if she were to get married, she would want to entrust her wedding dress to this woman.

Because…

“Your mother left you a precious gift.”

Seyard, who had somehow approached right behind Kisa, whispered softly.

Kisa lowered her gaze, conscious of his hands encircling her waist.

“Thank you so much for indulging my stubbornness about wearing this dress, Seyard.”

“What’s there to thank me for? Whatever dress you wear, it’s your heart’s desire.”

“But there’s no day more important than our wedding.”

How many grooms would welcome a bride wearing a musty dress made more than twenty years ago on such an important day?

Moreover, Seyard was none other than the master of the great noble house of Hillan, the Duke of Hillan.

It could easily become a laughingstock among those who didn’t think highly of him.

“Nonsense. This is such a wonderful dress.”

However, Seyard answered with a confident appearance.

“Besides, even if you were wearing rags, my eyes would only see you.”

As if he wouldn’t let anything ridicule him and his bride.

“Seyard…”

Kisa unconsciously intertwined her fingers with his, then realized there was one more person besides the two of them.

The young dressmaker was waiting at a distance with an awkward expression.

“Ah! Is it finished now?”

When Kisa hurriedly broke away from Seyard’s embrace and asked, she replied kindly.

“There are still a few places to adjust, such as the measurements, but it’s almost finished.”

“I see.”

“But may I ask once more if you’re truly satisfied with it? I apologize for the repeated confirmation, but it’s an important matter.”

Kisa took one last look at herself in the mirror.

This was the wedding dress her mother, the Countess Vansfelt, had worn long ago when she married the Count.

The Countess must have cherished it greatly, as if it were an object of attachment.

[My dear Kisa, I hope that someday you too will wear this dress and marry someone you love.]

Her mother’s smiling face as she said those words still remained in Kisa’s mind as a faded memory.

The dress, reborn with a new look, had changed to better match current fashion trends, but its basic form remained just as she remembered.

‘Just as you said, Mother, I’m wearing this to marry someone I love.’

Are you watching from heaven?

Asking this to the beloved one whose face had grown dim in her memory, Kisa spoke:

“Yes, I love it. It’s perfect.”

The red-haired man beyond the mirror gave her a gentle look.

Kisa silently took his hand again.

After leaving the dress shop located a bit away from the bustling streets, they boarded a black carriage.

In the carriage heading to their next destination, Kisa carefully began to speak.

“Actually, I can’t really recall my mother’s face anymore.”

Though he hadn’t asked, and there was no particular reason she needed to say this now, it was something she wanted to share.

“Of course, I can see what she looked like from portraits, but the memories themselves are becoming increasingly blurred. How she looked at me, what her voice sounded like…”

Seyard quietly listened to her words.

“I’m sure she loved me very much.”

Only the shock she had received when her mother passed away after her illness worsened was still vivid.

The impact must have been so great for young Kisa that even her memories of that time were hazy.

Her hand resting on her knee trembled with an indescribable emotion.

“Kisa.”

Seyard then enveloped her hand with his strong, warm one.

He simply shared his warmth without offering any special words.

Kisa was rather grateful for this aspect of him.

In fact, she herself didn’t know exactly how she was feeling right now.

But one thing she could clearly understand:

‘Seyard really is a good person.’

[The things you wanted but couldn’t have. I’ll take them all for myself.]

It was impossible to believe that he was still harboring the resentment glimpsed in that diary.

Perhaps the burning hatred had also faded over the long years.

That must surely be the case.

If he were still holding onto such negative emotions, how could he be so considerate and warm?

Kisa held these thoughts as she quietly felt the warmth Seyard was giving her.

After some time, the place where the two got off the carriage was in front of the opera house.

According to the rumors known to others, this was also where Seyard had fallen for Kisa at first sight.

That day, Kisa had come here after receiving opera tickets as a gift from him, and they had passed by each other by a hair’s breadth.

‘Who would have thought that Duke Hillan, who was moving around with crowds of people, was Seyard?’

Towards Kisa, who was reminiscing about the past that felt like ancient history although it had been only a few months ago, Seyard extended his hand.

“Shall we go?”

As Kisa placed her hand in his, he pressed his lips to the back of her soft hand.

“This time, I’ll escort you properly.”

A chuckle escaped from Kisa’s lips.

This was the very reason the two had visited the opera house today.

“To be honest, I’m disappointed. I actually wanted to enjoy the opera with you that day.”

This was what Seyard had said in a slightly sulky voice when they were discussing something else and the topic of opera came up.

Finding his unexpected demeanor cute, Kisa had suggested going to see the opera again.

To watch the same opera performance from the same seat where Kisa had sat before.

Fortunately, the opera play “The Lord’s Castle,” which the two had watched separately that day, was still being performed at the opera house thanks to its enthusiastic popularity.

Additionally, securing the best seats was an easy task for the Duke of Hillan.

Receiving people’s gazes, Kisa and Seyard entered the theater.

This time, they could enjoy the performance sitting right next to each other.

Even though she already knew the content of the play, strangely, Kisa had a more fun and enjoyable time than before.

A few hours later, when the play ended, the two left the opera house before anyone could approach them to start a conversation and boarded their carriage.

“Wow, that was really fun.”

Kisa, still immersed in the afterglow of the performance, exclaimed.

“To be honest, I thought it would be less enjoyable since I’d seen it before, but I noticed new things I hadn’t seen before and was able to think more deeply about the lessons this work conveys.”

Seyard nodded briefly as if agreeing with Kisa’s words.

“I enjoyed it too.”

Looking at him, Kisa felt a desire to share more of their impressions.

Until now, there had been no one with whom she had opened her heart and shared various stories as much as with Seyard.

“Um, there’s something I’ve been thinking about regarding the ending of the work. Overall, it’s a piece I really like, but there’s one part that I find hard to understand.”

“What is it?”

“At the end, the male protagonist criticizes the female protagonist for doubting his love, right? And she deeply regrets and reflects upon hearing this.”

“That’s right.”

“In the end, the male protagonist forgives the female protagonist with love and there’s a happy ending, but is that really desirable?”

Kisa gathered her courage and continued.

“I think….given the situation, the female protagonist had no choice but to doubt the male protagonist, regardless of love. So I’m not sure if her doubt was such a great mistake.”

The male protagonist, the lord, continues to have secret meetings with the female protagonist who is his prisoner, while hiding his identity.

To some extent, she could understand his feelings as the leader of a territory who couldn’t admit to himself that he had fallen for the daughter of the leader of an enemy force.

However, from the female protagonist’s position, wouldn’t it be natural to find it difficult to show unconditional trust in him?

After all, she doesn’t even know how her beloved man manages to appear in the tower where she is imprisoned every time.

Moreover, the lord avoided her questions with evasive answers whenever she inquired.

“Of course, secretly going through someone’s belongings while they’re asleep isn’t good behavior, but I think she had reason to do so.”

That was the conclusion Kisa had reached.

“Well, my opinion differs.”

“Pardon?”

At the sudden statement, Kisa instinctively looked at Seyard.

“I believe that doubt should not accompany love.”

 

Chap 86

Love and Doubt (1)

“…Ah, I see.”

Kisa responded to Seyard’s words with a slight delay, surprised.

“I suppose that’s true. Love and doubt do seem like opposite emotions.”

After awkwardly agreeing with his statement, she fidgeted with her fingers resting on her knee.

“……”

“……”

Whether it was her imagination or not, an uncomfortable silence seemed to fill the carriage.

How strange. After becoming somewhat close to him, periods of silence had never felt awkward before.

‘This feels different this time.’

Kisa carefully observed the person sitting across from her.

Her gaze contained hope that perhaps he would change the atmosphere with his usual gentle smile.

However, Seyard seemed lost in thought, arms crossed, staring into space with an expressionless face.

Seeing him like this, a sudden worry arose in Kisa’s heart.

‘Could he be angry?’

Perhaps he was disappointed by the opinion Kisa had just expressed about the opera’s heroine.

After all, she had openly defended the heroine who doubted her lover right in front of him, who believed that love and doubt cannot coexist.

Rationally speaking, it seemed unlikely that Seyard would be upset over mere impressions of an opera, but seeing his demeanor made it difficult to dismiss her concerns.

Why had she only realized this now? Kisa had a belated revelation.

Seyard, who had completely wiped any expression from his face, looked remarkably cold.

As the silence in the carriage lengthened, she gradually lost the capacity to think rationally.

At the same time, she realized why she had been so surprised when he said love should not be accompanied by doubt.

It was the first time Seyard had so clearly expressed an opinion that contradicted hers.

Come to think of it, he had always quietly supported Kisa’s views.

When she was anxious about her broken engagement, when she fell into inexplicable lethargy after the broken engagement, when she was shocked by the princess’s violent behavior toward Gabriel.

He had always comforted her, and Kisa had found peace in his warm-heartedness.

‘Yes, Seyard was always right.’

So surely it would be the same this time.

With an almost obsessive anxiety, Kisa’s lips began to move.

Upon reflection, I think your opinion is completely correct after all. Just as she was about to say this—

“Kisa, I’d like to add something to our earlier conversation.”

Seyard spoke first.

“…About the opera?”

“Yes. Upon further reflection, I think I may have expressed a rather one-sided opinion.”

“Oh, yes. Please feel free to speak.”

“That love should not be accompanied by doubt—that’s merely my opinion. I could be wrong and you could be right. Or perhaps we’re both right and wrong.”

“Is that so?”

His words seemed a bit random, causing Kisa to tilt her head.

He said he might be wrong, but honestly, she couldn’t quite agree with that statement.

For Kisa, Seyard Hillan had always been someone who provided the correct answers.

Moreover, what did he mean by being wrong and right at the same time? Wasn’t that contradictory?

As if answering Kisa’s doubts, Seyard slowly began his explanation.

“The affairs of the world are so complex and peculiar that often there isn’t one clear answer. Though this too is just my opinion.”

With those words, he wore a faint smile. It was a moment when the anxiety that had dominated Kisa for the past few minutes dissipated like fog.

“While I consider the heroine’s mistrust of her lover clearly wrong, looking at the overall plot, it’s also true that because of her actions, the couple was able to be more honest with each other.”

As he turned his gaze toward the window showing the street scenery, Kisa followed his lead and looked outside. Today, the sunset coloring the capital looked like blood.

“If she had continued to trust her lover completely, she would have discovered his identity as a lord much later. Perhaps she might never have known.”

Kisa had speculated similarly. At least from the scenes shown in the play, the lord seemed to have no intention of revealing his identity to his lover.

“Well, I’m not asserting that one must know the other’s identity to be happy, but if truth is considered the most important value in a romantic relationship, then this is not an ideal state. Moreover, it’s unequal. The lord knows her identity while she alone remains ignorant. From his perspective, such a relationship might seem perfectly satisfactory, but that’s merely one-sided satisfaction.”

“Ah, I felt the same way!”

Kisa nodded unconsciously. Listening to his explanation, she felt as though the thoughts in her head were being organized into clear terms.

At the same time, she understood why she had felt uncomfortable watching a play that was dominated by criticism of the heroine’s distrust and ignorance.

In the play, the heroine was thoroughly cast as a sinner who had committed a wrong, while the male lead was portrayed as forgiving her out of love.

One critic had interpreted the relationship between these two characters as analogous to that of a confused human doubting God’s existence and God caring for such a human with generosity…

‘Honestly, I don’t really understand that religious perspective.’

For Kisa, it felt unsettling that although it was the lord who first concealed the truth, only the heroine became the object of criticism and moral instruction.

Seyard stroked his chin with his long, delicate fingers as he continued.

“In that sense, the heroine’s doubt is a natural emotional response and the first step toward the best possible future. Though the latter part is somewhat based on the outcome.”

“Hmm, because there’s no guarantee that the heroine’s actions would only lead to good results?”

“Exactly. In reality, the lord might have simply expelled the heroine out of a sense of betrayal. If that had happened, her position as a captive would have become quite difficult.”

A beautiful woman having to endure alone in enemy territory without the lord’s protection. Just imagining it sent chills down her spine.

“Though not explicitly shown in the work, the heroine must have anticipated all this. Yet she chose to seek the truth despite knowing the risks. It was a very courageous decision.”

Kisa stared at Seyard intently. A person who says that love should not be accompanied by doubt, yet highly values the heroine who doubted her lover.

Which side did he weigh more heavily? She suddenly became curious about this.

Perhaps it was because their conversation about the opera had caused her to reflect on herself.

‘Haven’t I made the same mistake as her?’

Hadn’t she tried to learn about his past by going to the monastery, unable to fully trust Seyard?

At that time, she hadn’t even properly recognized her own feelings, let alone become his lover, but in fact, Kisa had already harbored feelings for him since then.

In other words, she had doubted him while loving him.

Sweat collected in her clenched fist.

What would Seyard do if he ever found out about this?

Would he say it was okay, as he always did? Would he forgive her in the end, despite initial disappointment, like the male lead in the play?

‘Or…’

Kisa swallowed dryly at the ominous thoughts that formed in her mind.

“Um, Seyard.”

His gaze returned when she called his name.

Feeling uneasy under that calm gaze, like someone who had committed a sin, she asked a question.

“If you were in the lord’s position, what do you think you would have done? Do you think you would have forgiven your lover?”

“If I were him, you ask?”

“I’ve been imagining it, but I can’t tell. I completely understand her feelings, but I think it would also be sad to be doubted by someone you love…”

Despite the seemingly trivial nature of Kisa’s question, he closed his eyes as if preparing to give a serious answer.

“Well…”

After a moment, Seyard opened his eyes.

“If I were to be doubted by someone I love, that would truly be…”

In that instant, Kisa felt as though the reddish-brown eyes facing her were rippling with intense emotion.

But that change disappeared behind his eyelids in the blink of an eye.

“I’m sorry. I find it difficult to imagine such a dramatic situation.”

He smiled awkwardly, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

“Perhaps I would only know if it actually happened? Well, since I’m not hiding my identity like the lord, the possibility of such a thing happening is almost non-existent.”

“…That’s true.”

Kisa forced a laugh, “Haha.”

“I’m sorry for asking something strange.”

“Not at all. It’s quite enjoyable discussing various things with you after watching the play.”

At that moment, the carriage stopped moving. They had arrived at the Vansfelt mansion.

Seyard, who got out of the carriage first, skillfully escorted Kisa.

After kissing the back of his lover’s hand as a farewell gesture, he asked somewhat regretfully:

“Would you continue to keep me company like this in the future? We still have many performances we haven’t seen.”

“Of course.”

When Kisa answered thus, a satisfied smile appeared on the man’s face.

Afterward, his dropping his lips onto Kisa’s round forehead happened in an instant.

“Until next time, then.”

With that promise of a next meeting, he departed.

What awaited Kisa upon returning to her room was a pile of letters that had arrived today.

“Sigh.”

With a faint sigh, she opened them one by one and briefly scanned their contents.

Then her hand stopped at one particular letter.

Unlike the envelope with a somewhat unfamiliar name, the familiar handwriting caught her eye.

[Kisa, I’ve discovered something incredible while mingling with that fellow’s relatives. This is truly amazing. You’d be shocked to hear it.]

It was Daniel Lowens again.

Kisa crumpled the letter without hesitation.

This time she wouldn’t be wrong.

 

Chap 87

Love and Doubt (2)

Kisa had just resolved to trust Seyard completely.

Therefore, even if Daniel summoned her like last time, she would not go. And if he tried to throw himself in front of her carriage to stop it, she would either report him or simply run him over.

‘That’s right.’

Kisa recalled the conversation she had with Seyard in the carriage.

He had taken time to think about Kisa’s opinions that differed from his own, and then explained in detail why her views weren’t wrong.

How could she doubt someone so thoughtful and caring again?

That would be nothing short of betrayal.

“I trust Seyard.”

After muttering this to herself as if making a pledge, Kisa was about to throw the crumpled letter into the trash bin when she hesitated.

She wondered if discarding it like this was really the best course of action.

Daniel was going around stirring up the collateral branches of the Hillan family who were at odds with Seyard over property disputes, all to humiliate him.

Regardless of his disgusting tendency to be suspicious, his level of action seemed to warrant some attention.

Now that the legal battle with his relatives had finally concluded in Seyard’s favor, it would be annoying for him to have to deal with continued rumors.

As before, it seemed better to inform Seyard about this.

‘Yes, I’ll give him this letter too.’

Kisa smoothed out the crumpled paper and looked over the lines written on it again.

Apart from the fuss about having discovered some tremendous fact, it was mostly about summoning Kisa.

It was infuriating to see the instructions to come to a designated place at a specified time three days later, with threats to raid the Vansfelt mansion if she didn’t comply.

Compared to before, his tone had softened slightly, but that was all. His arrogant attitude of viewing others as beneath him hadn’t changed at all.

“This guy, really. When will he ever come to his senses?”

Instead of staying home and properly preparing to inherit the family, he was always running around outside.

He had complained that he had two younger brothers eyeing his position, giving him no peace of mind, but now it seemed like he was just making excuses.

Kisa clicked her tongue, placed the crumpled letter on the desk, and put a music box on top of it as a paperweight before getting up from her chair.

Later, after finishing her evening routine and lying in bed, a curious question came to mind.

‘But what exactly is this tremendous fact he’s talking about?’

It was surely nothing significant. Daniel must have picked up some slander spread by one of the Hillan branches who held a grudge against Seyard.

But even while believing this, curiosity rose within her—perhaps an unavoidable human instinct.

Kisa inwardly reproached herself for her insufficient trust in Seyard as she drifted into unconsciousness.

The next day, after breakfast, she diligently headed to the Hillan mansion.

The servants of the ducal family greeted Kisa in their usual manner despite her unannounced visit.

Inside the glass greenhouse that kept out the cold late autumn wind, Seyard carefully examined the paper Kisa had handed him.

“I see.”

Eventually, he put it down on the table and interlaced his fingers.

“Actually, I already knew that Daniel Lowens was going around stirring up my relatives.”

As expected. Kisa had vaguely suspected that Seyard wouldn’t be completely unaware of this, given that the Hillan branches were also subjects of his attention.

“I’m sorry, Seyard. You’re getting involved in troublesome matters because of me.”

“I’m more worried about you being troubled.”

“No, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

Seyard’s subtle gaze touched Kisa’s cheek.

“Didn’t you receive a similar letter before?”

He was referring to when Daniel had summoned Kisa to the back gate at night and disparaged Seyard, claiming he had been a thug in the past.

By now, his hand was already wrapped around Kisa’s wrist.

Perhaps it was because she felt guilty about betraying him, like the heroine in the opera they had seen yesterday.

Kisa was wearing the diamond bracelet, her engagement gift, today.

At least Seyard seemed pleased when she wore it.

He caressed the diamonds of the bracelet with a tickling touch, like stroking a cat or dog’s fur.

“I’m concerned that there might have been more incidents that I don’t know about, besides these two.”

Kisa shook her head, trying to calm her inexplicably fluttering heart.

“No. Nothing special happened. He kept sending useless letters, but most of them weren’t worth paying attention to. I threw them away without reading them properly, except for this one.”

“That’s a relief. But has that fellow ever come to see you in person?”

For a brief moment, a dilemma unfolded in Kisa’s mind.

There was indeed one time when Daniel had come to find her, beyond what Seyard knew.

That fearless man had thrown himself in front of her carriage to stop it, and hadn’t they talked because of that?

‘Should I tell Seyard about it now…’

But if she were to be honest, how much should she reveal?

Should she mention that Daniel, who had just returned from Bonzmos, told her that something was suspicious about the place and demanded that she go to St. Pavela Monastery to gather information?

That wouldn’t do. If she did, it would be like confessing that she had doubted Seyard.

[I believe love should not be accompanied by doubt.]

His resolute statement from yesterday still remained vivid in Kisa’s mind.

While he had highly valued the courage of the opera’s heroine, that couldn’t be applied to Kisa’s situation.

Unlike the lord in the opera, Seyard hadn’t hidden his identity.

By the same logic, Kisa’s circumstances were quite different from the heroine who had no choice but to doubt her lover.

If he learned the truth, Seyard would surely be disappointed in Kisa.

That must never happen.

“Actually…”

As soon as she steeled her resolve, Kisa opened her mouth.

“There was just one time. After the incident I told you about, Daniel came to find me once. A few months ago, he jumped in front of my carriage to stop it.”

Seyard’s eyes narrowed, and she waved her hand dismissively.

“Fortunately, there was no accident, so you don’t need to worry.”

“…Why are you telling me about such a dangerous incident only now?”

“I’m sorry. When I actually heard what he had to say, it didn’t seem like much, and I didn’t want to worry you unnecessarily. You’re already busy enough with the wedding preparations and estate matters.”

Seyard still didn’t look pleased, seemingly unable to easily accept his lover’s answer, but he didn’t reproach Kisa.

“Even so, I would prefer if you told me right away next time. We’re lovers now.”

Kisa quickly nodded.

“Of course. Things are different now than they were then.”

His expression softened a bit as he met Kisa’s gaze.

“What did he say?”

“Pardon?”

“I’m curious what business that man had with you that he needed to stop your carriage.”

“It was really nothing. Just…”

Kisa chose words she thought would be safe to reveal.

“He said that the person from Bonzmos who was supposed to arrange a meeting with me had vanished. He insisted that it was your doing.”

“Vanished?”

Seyard tilted his head slightly.

“Ah, that’s it. I did have Gilliam give the man some money. On the condition that he would no longer be involved with Daniel Lowens.”

This was new information to Kisa.

“I was concerned that if he started gossiping to the press under Daniel Lowens’ direction, it would be troublesome, so I made a preemptive move.”

“…I didn’t know.”

But looking back, she recalled that when Seyard had previously heard about Daniel from her, he had said he would handle it in his own way.

“I apologize. It seems I also failed to tell you everything. But I considered it just part of my usual reputation management, nothing significant.”

“No, that’s understandable.”

“Anyway, having received a sum he couldn’t earn in a lifetime, the man probably became scared and disappeared. That happens quite often.”

“I suppose you’re right.”

Daniel must have promised the man a substantial reward as well, so the fact that he disappeared without even telling Daniel suggested that the money Seyard had given him was beyond imagination.

Thinking about it that way, it made sense that he would disappear without a word, not even trusting those around him.

Kisa felt a faint sense of relief.

‘Well, it really was nothing after all.’

Daniel had made it sound so significant that she thought there might be some serious hidden circumstances.

But from Seyard’s perspective, there was no reason to take risks to eliminate such a minor witness.

‘I’m glad I opened up a little.’

At first, she had contemplated hiding the fact that she had met Daniel that day, but on second thought, that didn’t seem right.

She was reluctant to tell an outright lie to Seyard, and their meeting on the roadside wasn’t particularly secretive anyway.

After all, hadn’t the coachman working for the Vansfelt family witnessed the whole process?

Since there was a possibility that Seyard could later discover that there had been contact between the two, pretending they had never met was risky.

‘I’m sorry, Seyard.’

I’ll keep just this one thing secret from you.

“In any case, I’m relieved. I was worried that you might have been harmed by that man.”

Unaware of Kisa’s inner thoughts, he expressed concern for her with an innocent expression.

Kisa pretended to stare at his hand still lingering on her wrist, subtly avoiding his gaze, and changed the subject.

“But what could be this tremendous fact that Daniel heard from your relatives? It’s surely just slander, but he’s so confident that I’m a bit curious.”

“I have a pretty good idea what it might be.”

“What is it?”

“He probably means the rumor that I murdered Vischer.”

“…What?”

Kisa belatedly echoed in surprise.

 

Chap 88

I Swear to God and to You

Kisa was momentarily confused, not understanding his words.

By Vischer, did he mean his brother Vischer Hillan?

What could he mean by saying Seyard had killed him?

After removing his hand from Kisa’s bracelet, he calmly provided further explanation.

“Actually, when the legal battle was at its peak and relations between myself and my relatives had deteriorated significantly, several of them raised such suspicions.”

Perhaps it was because she’d heard the word “murder,” but his typically calm voice now sounded somewhat chilling.

“They claimed my brother’s death wasn’t an accident but murder, and that I was the perpetrator. That I had killed Vischer to secure the duke title and family fortune.”

“How could they…”

How could anyone make such a terrible accusation? Kisa drew in a sharp breath.

Tap, tap. Seyard drummed the wooden table’s surface with his index finger.

“Coincidentally, they had one piece of evidence to support their suspicion.”

“What was it?”

“The incident where I left the Pavela Monastery without permission around the time Vischer died in the fire.”

“Did Seyard really do that?”

He nodded, readily acknowledging his wrongdoing.

“Yes. At that time, I stayed in a city somewhat distant from Bonzmos for several days.”

“Why?”

“…I was in a mood to run away from everything. A conflict I had with a monk named Emil was the trigger.”

“By Emil, do you mean the monk who manages the monastery’s apothecary?”

“You know about him.”

“When I visited Pavela Monastery before, Brother Vishius explained about him while showing me around the apothecary. I didn’t get to meet him as he was making rounds to nearby villages.”

“Come to think of it, your previous visit happened precisely when he was away.”

Stroking his chin, Seyard turned his gaze back to Kisa.

“Anyway, if you heard about Brother Emil from Brother Vishius, did you also hear about the friction between us?”

“A little.”

“Brother Vishius tends to be quite talkative.”

“I-I was the one who asked!”

As Kisa defended his former colleague, Seyard gave a slight smile.

Thanks to this, the tense atmosphere loosened somewhat.

“Though Brother Emil was the only one who directly expressed his displeasure to me at that time, I felt hostility beyond just his. There were already many who didn’t approve of me, and when Cobi, who had been friendly with me, stole medicine and ran away, it was perhaps natural that suspicion fell on me.”

According to him, many monks considered Cobi ungrateful for repaying their kindness with betrayal, creating quite a hostile atmosphere.

Kisa’s mood sank as she imagined Seyard having to bear so much antagonism alone.

“So you needed somewhere to catch your breath away from there.”

“Exactly. That’s why one day I impulsively left the monastery and headed to an unfamiliar city where nobody knew me. I cooled off there and then returned.”

Suddenly, his voice deepened.

“…That’s the excuse I presented officially.”

“What?”

“The real reason was different.”

He leaned back against his chair and looked at Kisa.

“Cobi summoned me there. He sent a letter with a code only we could understand.”

“Cobi did? Why?”

“I don’t know. Despite urgently calling me there saying he had something important to discuss, he never showed up no matter how long I waited.”

Seyard said he waited for days at the location Cobi had specified.

“Part of me thought I needed to stop Cobi before he went down an irreversible path, but honestly, my pride was more at stake. After all, he was the fundamental reason I found myself in such an awkward position at the monastery.”

But one can’t wait forever for someone who doesn’t come. With no choice, he eventually returned to Pavela Monastery without accomplishing anything.

“As you might expect, there was quite an uproar there due to my disappearance for several days. Well, they were receiving considerable money from the Hillan family to monitor me. They all rushed to interrogate me.”

“About why you disappeared?”

“And where I had been. I told the truth about my whereabouts, but I couldn’t be honest about the reason. Already under suspicion because of Cobi, I saw no benefit in revealing that I was involved with him again. It would have been different if I had brought him back after convincing him to surrender as originally planned.”

For this reason, Seyard explained his impulsive action as simply a momentary escape.

“The abbot seemed to be contemplating whether to report this incident to the Hillan family. But… not long after, he realized there was essentially no need to worry about it.”

News arrived that Vischer Hillan had unfortunately perished in a fire.

Having lost their head in an instant, the Hillan family had no capacity to concern themselves with Seyard’s unauthorized absence.

Moreover, Vischer’s death without leaving any children completely changed Seyard’s situation.

“…It was a strange feeling to hear that my brother, whom I had once resented so much, had died.”

With an expression and voice that made it difficult to discern what emotions they contained, Seyard spoke quietly.

Kisa silently placed her hand on his, which rested on the table.

Somehow, she felt it was the right thing to do.

Seyard responded by gently squeezing her hand.

“Anyway, I naively assumed that since I would now become the Duke of Hillan, my unauthorized absence wouldn’t be held against me. But my relatives were desperate to dig up any weakness to claim the family fortune, and some of them succeeded in learning about the incident from people at the monastery.”

A cold gleam formed in Seyard’s eyes.

“They suspected me. They suggested I was lying about being in a neighboring city and had actually come to the capital to harm Vischer.”

“…They really say whatever they want.”

“Objectively speaking, my actions were quite suspicious. It truly was a remarkable coincidence that Vischer died right when I committed this transgression.”

Why? Why at this moment did phrases from a diary she had seen flash through her mind?

[I cannot accept this.

So I will take everything.

Everything you have.

No, even the things you don’t have.]

Recalling those cries full of hatred toward his twin brother made her shudder.

‘No.’

Seyard isn’t that kind of person.

That was simply an old grudge from his youth.

Besides, Kisa had already decided to trust him.

“But…”

Kisa looked desperately at her lover, wanting reassurance.

“But Seyard didn’t do that, right?”

The man who had been quietly meeting her gaze finally spoke.

“Of course not. I did not kill Vischer. I swear to God and to you.”

His face appeared so genuinely truthful that it seemed impossible he could be lying.

As Kisa felt inward relief, Seyard continued.

“Fortunately, they couldn’t publicly accuse me of killing my brother. It seems they hired people to investigate, and there were multiple testimonies from people who had seen me at the inn where I was staying.”

He said that the innkeeper and several guests had witnessed him leaving the inn once or twice a day and returning.

“That’s such a relief!”

“I hadn’t particularly tried to make my presence known, but I hadn’t hidden it either, so it was only natural.”

From what Kisa had learned from newspapers, the villa where Vischer Hillan lost his life was located near the capital.

To get from the city where Seyard had stayed to the capital would take nearly two days of travel.

In other words, it was impossible for Seyard to have murdered Vischer since he had never left the inn for more than a day.

“In truth, their claim was unfounded from the beginning. Looking at the records, Vischer’s death was clearly an accident from any perspective. If there had been any criminal circumstances, the royal family would have led a massive investigation.”

Indeed, this was the death of none other than the Duke of Hillan.

If there had been any suspicious signs, it wouldn’t have been dismissed lightly.

“With no further recourse, the voices of suspicion eventually died down. They probably realized there was nothing to gain by remaining hostile toward me once they couldn’t prevent me from becoming the next Duke of Hillan.”

However, that didn’t mean all his relatives were completely convinced.

“I’m sure there are still quite a few who harbor resentment toward me. One of them must have leaked information to Daniel Lowens. But to bring up such a risky claim… This Lowens must have thoroughly interrogated my relatives.”

Kisa pressed her forehead as she felt a headache coming on.

She felt terrible thinking that Seyard had become entangled with such a leech-like person because of her.

“What should we do now? Even though Seyard’s innocence is firmly established regardless of what that man claims, if rumors about murder start circulating, things will get messy.”

A brother who killed his sibling to secure the family title. Regardless of its truth, it was a topic perfectly suited to excite the public.

A person in their right mind would refrain from such accusations out of fear of retribution from the Hillan family…

‘But Daniel has been acting like a madman lately.’

It seemed difficult to expect rational judgment from him.

“It’s all right.”

However, Seyard reassured Kisa as if such matters were trivial.

“I’ll handle it, so don’t worry.”

As always, he spoke words that gave her peace of mind.

“Everything will be fine.”

A few days later, news came that Daniel Lowens had been assaulted while walking down the street and was now bedridden.

 

Chap 89

What Befell Daniel

“Daniel?”

Kisa stopped cutting her meat with her fork and knife and looked at Count Vansfelt.

He had just delivered unexpected news during a rare meal that father and daughter were able to share together.

“Yes, it was written in Arthur’s letter that arrived today.”

Arthur was the name of Marquis Lowens.

“Daniel was attacked by assailants two days ago.”

“My goodness. How did that happen?”

“Well, the details weren’t written, but isn’t it obvious? No doubt he was swaggering through streets frequented by ruffians as usual and became the target of a wolf pack.”

Having said that, the Count frowned and clicked his tongue.

“I warned him before that it was dangerous behavior. He’s a fearless fellow who relies too much on his youth.”

Indeed, as the Count said, unlike other nobles, Daniel had a personality that found it burdensome to travel with security personnel.

He could protect himself?

Considering his height and build, which far exceeded the average for men his age, one could guess the source of his confidence.

Moreover, he enjoyed physical activities so much that his hobby was various sports.

It wasn’t completely incomprehensible that he would go around carrying only a knife for self-defense.

But walking through deserted streets while wearing visibly fine clothes was certainly excessive overconfidence.

Especially recently, Daniel had been so absorbed in investigating Seyard’s background that he might have become careless about other matters.

‘I knew this would happen someday.’

That’s right. He should have heeded my advice to be more careful from the beginning.

“Was he badly injured?”

From the Count’s tone, it didn’t seem to be a serious injury, and Kisa wasn’t particularly worried about him, but somewhat curious, she asked her father.

“I don’t know. The letter only said he was injured and confined to bed. And that Daniel wants to see you.”

“Really?”

“Arthur also seems to hope that I would come with you to pay a sick visit.”

“Absolutely not. Even if I wanted to go, I shouldn’t. As someone who’s getting married in a few months, what would people say if I went to visit my ex-fiancé?”

“That’s why I replied telling him not to talk nonsense.”

Having clearly expressed her refusal but still not satisfied, Kisa silently cursed the unparalleled shameless Daniel Lowens.

‘Crazy fool. If you’re sick, just lie down quietly. Who do you think you are to summon people?’

Did he think Kisa would come running with tears of sympathy in her eyes just because he was hurt?

He was still a person who couldn’t reflect on what he had done.

The Marquis Lowens was absurd too. Even if his son wished for it, he should have cut it off at his level rather than passing it on.

Then Count Vansfelt’s words interrupted Kisa’s stray thoughts.

“Well, I’ll let you know how Daniel is doing after I visit Marquis Lowens’s residence.”

“Oh, are you planning to go, Father?”

“Since we’re not going to completely sever our relationship with the Lowens, it would be better to visit once. I was planning to drop by soon anyway as there are matters to discuss.”

As the Count said, although relations had soured considerably due to Kisa and Daniel’s broken engagement, exchanges between the two families hadn’t completely ceased.

Count Vansfelt and Marquis Lowens were, after all, old friends despite everything.

‘Even though they had such a falling out…’

Thinking that human relationships were truly unpredictable, Kisa continued her meal.

****

The next day, Kisa deliberately timed it to have another meal with her father.

It was to gather information from him who, as he had said yesterday, had visited the Marquis Lowens’s residence.

‘Surely not…’

In fact, she had suddenly developed certain suspicions regarding Daniel’s injury last night.

“Daniel? It seems he’s suffering from full-body bruising, making movement difficult for the time being.”

In response to Kisa’s question, the Count began talking about Daniel even before all the food had arrived.

“Full-body bruising? Just how badly was he beaten?”

“Apparently he was walking down a slope when the perpetrators pushed him from behind. Not satisfied with that, they beat Daniel after he fell, then stole his wallet and anything valuable before fleeing.”

“Goodness.”

Although she felt not the slightest sympathy for Daniel, crime was crime, and Kisa frowned.

“So it wasn’t just one person. Have they caught the perpetrators?”

“No. The authorities are investigating, but the possibility of catching them seems very slim. Because they wore masks, Daniel couldn’t identify their appearances, and since it was a sparsely populated area, there were no witnesses.”

“Such terrible luck. Knowing Daniel’s personality, he must be grinding his teeth by now.”

“…But Daniel said something strange. He claimed it wasn’t simple robbers but that someone had hired them to attack him.”

Kisa opened her eyes wide and stared at her father.

After a moment’s hesitation, she carefully asked, “Who does he think it was?”

“I don’t know. I just happened to overhear him shouting as I was passing by the corridor.”

“Was he holding back in front of you?”

“Well, I would have had to see him face to face to know.”

“What? Didn’t you meet with Daniel?”

At his daughter’s question, he slowly shook his head.

“I thought so too, but when I arrived, they said Daniel’s condition had suddenly worsened. So I only spoke with Arthur before returning. Everything I’ve told you was information I heard through Arthur.”

“I thought his injury wasn’t that serious… Can it suddenly worsen like that?”

“I wonder about that too. To be honest, Daniel’s voice that I heard from the corridor sounded very energetic.”

Count Vansfelt momentarily stopped bringing food to his mouth and rubbed his temple.

“Arthur’s demeanor was also strange when I arrived; he seemed flustered. Somehow, he appeared not to want me to meet Daniel.”

“Could they be hiding something?”

“That’s most likely the case.”

Kisa did not bother to bring up what that something might be.

For similar reasons, the Count also did not mention it.

It was too easy to guess.

Daniel claiming he was attacked at someone’s instigation, and the Marquis Lowens who yesterday wanted them to visit but suddenly changed his attitude today.

Most likely, the Marquis feared his son would make the same claims in front of visitors who came to pay their respects.

‘But why?’

Because Daniel’s claim was that absurd?

In truth, Kisa could easily guess whom Daniel would point to as the mastermind behind his attack.

Wasn’t it obviously Seyard?

Daniel had been investigating Seyard’s background, and he recently believed he had discovered Seyard’s tremendous weakness.

However, from Marquis Lowens’ position, his son’s claim was extremely dangerous.

Although the Marquis Lowens family was also renowned in the kingdom, making an enemy of the almighty Duke of Hillan was an overwhelmingly burdensome matter.

Even if there was clear evidence that Seyard was the mastermind, they would want to smooth things over, and from what the Count said, there didn’t seem to be clear evidence.

Accusing the Duke of Hillan without evidence?

‘He absolutely wouldn’t do that.’

The Marquis Lowens might pamper his son, but he wasn’t that reckless.

He was probably desperately trying to keep Daniel quiet.

But Daniel was also a stubborn bull of a man who couldn’t stand losing.

‘He’ll definitely insist that Seyard hired someone to attack him.’

Just as Kisa was suppressing a sigh at the thought of him becoming an even bigger nuisance than now, the Count spoke.

“Anyway, this should ease your mind a bit. Daniel will soon leave the capital.”

“What?”

“From what I observed, Arthur seems about to make a decision. To send Daniel to a villa in a distant province for recuperation.”

“Is his condition serious enough to require recuperation?”

“Well, they say it’s for Daniel’s quick recovery, but it’s obvious. He’s sending him far away to prevent further incidents.”

“…How should I put it. That’s quite a drastic measure.”

She hadn’t expected the Marquis Lowens to go that far, considering Daniel was the heir to the family.

“It seems Daniel has been quite a source of grief for his father. Well, he hasn’t helped with family affairs, hasn’t diligently built connections in social circles, and instead has associated with strange people and frequently drunk himself senseless.”

And now, after getting beaten up while wandering around without guards, he was trying to blame the Duke of Hillan without evidence.

Thinking about it, it was understandable that Marquis Lowens’ patience had reached its limit.

“It seems Daniel’s siblings have actively encouraged Arthur. They probably harbored different thoughts watching their brother’s disgraceful behavior.”

The thought that they might become heirs if Daniel was pushed out, that kind of ambition.

‘When Daniel was well-regarded, they tried hard to please him just to get something.’

Seeing this, one might think that sibling relationships were also futile.

“…”

However, the concern that filled Kisa’s mind now wasn’t the brothers’ poor relationship.

Daniel’s disappearance was good news, but she couldn’t simply be happy about it.

‘Was it really Seyard’s doing?’

To be honest, even Kisa found it difficult to be certain of his innocence.

In reality, even if Daniel’s claim was true, she had no intention of blaming Seyard.

After all, one couldn’t demand that he use only righteous means against Daniel, who didn’t hesitate to use dirty tactics to bring Seyard down.

Although he was a gentlemanly person, Kisa well understood that as someone responsible for a family, he couldn’t always act gentlemanly.

Moreover, hadn’t Daniel tried to pressure Seyard over a murder he hadn’t even committed?

Apart from Kisa’s inevitable aversion to that violent approach, from his perspective, it could be considered necessary self-protection.

‘Of course, this is all assuming Seyard is really the mastermind.’

What was the truth?

The next day, Kisa met him and told him about Daniel’s news.

“I already knew roughly from what I heard,” Seyard replied with his usual expression.

“It seems that fellow has quite bad luck.”

 

Chap 90

Variable

“……I suppose so.”

After answering with a slight delay, Kisa shared something he wouldn’t have known.

“That’s why my father visited the Marquis Lowens residence yesterday to check on his condition.”

While people who had heard rumors might know about Daniel’s accident, the information that Count Vansfelt had gathered would be unknown to him.

Kisa also shared her speculation that Daniel would likely be sent away by Marquis Lowens soon.

Seyard silently walked through the garden, listening attentively to Kisa’s words.

The garden of Duke Hillan’s mansion, blooming with autumn flowers, created a profound atmosphere.

“I see. Daniel Lowens is leaving…… To be honest, that’s a relief.”

He wrapped one arm around Kisa’s waist.

“At least for a while, he won’t be able to send you strange letters or visit you as he pleases. I hope he doesn’t show up in the capital for as long as possible.”

“That’s what I’m saying. I wish he would just stay there for good. Fortunately, Marquis Lowens seems to be as stubborn as his son, so I don’t think Daniel will return anytime soon.”

“That’s good. At least we can have our wedding ceremony in peace.”

Wedding ceremony. At that word with its strange resonance, Kisa unconsciously stopped walking through the garden.

Seyard also stopped in place, meeting his lover’s gaze.

With a gentle expression, he slowly took in the sight of her from head to toe.

Despite having already prepared a wedding dress, Kisa still couldn’t fully grasp the fact that after autumn and winter passed and spring arrived, she would be marrying this enchanting man.

In truth, Kisa and Count Vansfelt were of the opinion that they could hold the wedding ceremony earlier.

However, Seyard had insisted that he wanted to be united with Kisa in spring, when all living things are reborn.

‘It would be more convenient for him to get married sooner and return to his territory……’

The hardships Seyard faced managing his territory’s affairs from the capital were certainly not trivial.

“Seyard.”

Knowing well his desire to give her the best wedding possible, Kisa felt a tightness in her nose.

She wanted to completely trust this incredibly kind man, both now and in the future.

“This might sound silly, but please don’t walk around alone and always take guards with you. The world is quite dangerous these days.”

Looking up at him, Kisa continued.

“They say it will be difficult to catch the criminals who did that to Daniel. I’m scared. Even someone as confident as him nearly had a serious accident because he got caught up in someone’s malice.”

What if Daniel had hit his head badly while rolling down the slope, or if he had been struck in a vulnerable spot when beaten by the perpetrators?

Although Daniel was an unpleasant person, it was only natural to feel chilled at the thought that someone who had been perfectly fine until yesterday could be harmed in an instant.

“Don’t worry, Kisa. As you say, I promise to be careful and remain vigilant in everything I do.”

Seyard caressed Kisa’s soft cheek and smiled charmingly.

“I can’t make such a lovely bride like you look so worried.”

“…….”

After a very brief silence, Kisa answered softly.

“Yes, thank you.”

There were words she hesitated to speak until the end, but ultimately couldn’t bring herself to say.

‘You know, Seyard.’

Daniel seems to be claiming that you hired those criminals to attack him.

Is that true? Did you really do that?

Kisa was afraid. But she couldn’t pinpoint exactly what she feared.

Was she afraid of discovering that Seyard had truly silenced Daniel through such violent means?

Or was she afraid that even if she heard he was innocent, she wouldn’t be able to fully believe him?

Or perhaps she feared that he had actually done it but wouldn’t tell her the truth?

Not knowing, Kisa spread her arms and embraced Seyard tightly.

At least this way, she could feel certain that he was by her side right now.

“Kisa…….”

His somewhat surprised voice fell on Kisa’s ear.

Was it her imagination? He seemed a bit overwhelmed.

“This is the first time. The first time you’ve actively shown desire for me.”

Thinking about it, this indeed seemed to be the first time Kisa had initiated an embrace with him.

Until now, her greatest show of courage had been to take his hand first and interlock their fingers.

“……Was this not a good moment for this?”

At Kisa’s cautious question, Seyard answered by trapping her in his arms.

“Not at all. I’m delighted.”

The two stayed like that for a while, feeling each other’s warmth, before facing each other.

Unlike the first time, Kisa could anticipate what would come next.

Their intertwined gazes told her as much.

Soon, Kisa and Seyard’s lips met.

Feeling his thick tongue invading her mouth, Kisa tried to focus only on Seyard.

Nothing else was needed at this moment.

****

Time flowed like running water.

Autumn quickly disappeared, and winter arrived.

Seyard, knowing that Kisa was sensitive to cold, always spent most of their time indoors where warmth could be felt whenever she visited.

Regrettably, they had to postpone their walks in the garden of the Hillan mansion until spring.

Incidentally, Daniel had to leave the capital less than a week after his accident.

Kisa didn’t know exactly where he had gone, as Marquis Lowens hadn’t told even Count Vansfelt, but she wasn’t particularly interested either.

She just felt relieved, as if an aching tooth had been pulled out.

With Daniel gone, there was no one left to bother Kisa.

In Princess Arta’s case, she had thoroughly ignored Kisa’s existence since the Gabriel incident.

Not only did she not invite Kisa to her tea parties, but she also didn’t send any letters of greeting.

Although Kisa didn’t know what the princess had said to them, ardent followers of the princess like Lady Welf and Melissa no longer picked fights with Kisa.

As months passed without any conflict between Kisa and the princess, people who had been busy gossiping about the two gradually lost interest.

Kisa focused on her wedding preparations and building new relationships without any problems.

With plenty of time on her hands, she attended all the gatherings with Aria’s friends.

With Aria’s help, Kisa was able to become friends with them quickly.

“Well, according to my husband, the gatherings at the Willow Tree café are on the verge of falling apart due to various circumstances.”

This was the news she shared one day.

“Well, their most enthusiastic member has disappeared claiming to be going for treatment, and there are widespread rumors that the host was fooling around with a taken man. No wonder the atmosphere is chaotic. Who would want to participate enthusiastically? Even existing members are leaving one by one, they say.”

Watching Aria laugh as if it served them right, Kisa managed an awkward smile.

She seemed to think that Kisa was curious about Hazel’s recent situation, but in fact, Kisa wasn’t curious at all.

If it hadn’t been for Daniel in the first place, she would never have been involved with such a person.

‘Let her do as she pleases.’

Whether she went to look after Daniel during his illness or continued to run the café in the capital, it had nothing to do with Kisa.

The people who truly mattered to Kisa were those currently by her side.

Especially Seyard. The man who loved Kisa and whom Kisa loved.

Recently, Kisa spent time with him almost every day.

As the wedding approached, she felt somewhat anxious in a corner of her heart, but being with him made her forget that feeling.

Today was the day they visited the largest department store in the capital to look at items for their newlywed home.

Of course, the Hillan mansion where they would live after marriage was already fully furnished, but Seyard said Kisa could change anything she wanted.

So Kisa decided to purchase some tableware and furniture that caught her eye.

“How about this? I think it’s pretty.”

“Yes, it’s beautiful. The pattern is delicate.”

“Oh, but that one looks nice too.”

“I agree. The overall shape is sophisticated.”

“……Haven’t you been saying everything looks good?”

“But if it pleases you, everything looks good to my eyes as well.”

Kisa was secretly pleased but replied somewhat sulkily.

“But that makes it hard to choose one.”

“Hmm, should we just buy them all?”

“No! That’s not what I meant!”

For Kisa, who had been raised under the relatively frugal Count Vansfelt for a noble, buying multiple pieces of the same type of furniture was excessive.

In the end, it took about two more hours before the couple finished shopping for their newlywed home.

As they left the department store, they headed toward where their carriage was parked.

At that moment, a shabbily-dressed man approached them.

He had unkempt black hair and a hunched back.

“Ex, excuse me…….”

“Hey, step back.”

The man tried to speak in a hoarse voice but was blocked by the couple’s guards.

In places like this where many people gathered, there were often street vagrants begging.

They typically targeted nobles in fine clothing, and nobles in turn considered it their duty to give alms to those in need.

Seyard and Kisa were no exception.

“Here you go.”

One of the guards handed the man some bills.

“…….”

But the man didn’t take them. He just stared at them with wide eyes.

“Se, Seyard.”

After a while, a name burst from the man’s mouth like a cry.

“I’m, I’m sorry. For breaking my promise and running away then…….”

At that moment, Kisa witnessed Seyard’s expression, which had been indifferently glancing at the man, change completely.

“Cobi?”

In an instant, Seyard moved past the guards to stand in front of the vagrant and grabbed his slumped shoulders.

“Is it you, Cobi?”