I'm in Love with the Gorilla Sitting Next to Me - Volume 1 Chapter 6.12

Secrets are meant to be revealed 12

“Why… would you ask… something like that?”

“Because you like me, right? Despite seeing me as an animal. It’s only natural to be curious about how I appear to you.”

“…I-I see. That makes sense…”

While nodding, I felt a sweat break out that wasn’t from the heat.

——Uhh, am I going to say it? That she looks like a gorilla?

Isn’t telling a girl you like that she ‘looks like a gorilla’ too damaging? Before even considering whether it’s a lie or the truth, wouldn’t that call my character into question? And the person in question has a painful past of being teased about gorillas because of her name. Knowing that, should I still say it?

…Ugh, seriously… What do I do, what should I do, what am I going to do…!?

Should I tell the truth, or should I deceive her? It’s not about self-preservation; maybe lying for Gossan’s sake is the right thing to do.

Isn’t it just self-satisfaction to say something when you know it will hurt the other person?

I was about to decide what to do when suddenly, a loud sound that resonated to my stomach and the reddish light from the fireworks illuminated Gossan’s face.

The eyes staring straight at me from beneath the gorilla’s thick eyelids were not distracted by the fireworks that had begun.

For the past three months, I had seen her face more from the side than from the front. The sharp features that only I could see, the illusionary appearance.

So even if I said it was another animal, the truth about whether it was true or not would absolutely not be revealed—

“You look like a gorilla. Like a Western lowland gorilla you’d see at a zoo.”

…Even though I knew that, I ended up telling her the truth.

Knowing that I would either be met with anger or disappointment.

“…!”

With a stern expression, she swung her right hand back with all her might.

But the intense strike, honed in the volleyball club, was not delivered and slowly lowered.

“——I’m sorry, but I’m going home. Please enjoy the fireworks by yourself.”

Though her words were polite, they were delivered with an undeniable force. Gossan then turned and walked back the way she came.

I could only watch her retreating figure in the yukata, unable to find the words to call out to her… Eventually, as Gossan disappeared into the darkness and her footsteps and presence faded away, I crouched down on the spot.

“…I really messed up…”

I had completely angered her. More than the future of a good relationship with Gossan being over, it was more painful that I had hurt her.

I knew it was likely to happen, yet I didn’t resort to naming another animal because,

“…If I don’t tell the truth, nobody will believe me…”

Even if the chance of being believed about the curse was smaller than an ant, I had to plead my case, or it would never be believed.

That’s why, no matter how improbable, even if it meant hurting the other person, it was necessary to convey my truth with sincerity.

…I said it with determination, but…

“…Sigh… Being hated really hurts…”

With a feeling of emptiness as if a hole had opened in my heart, it throbbed painfully. It’s hard to even breathe. If I let my guard down even a little, I feel like I’ll start crying.

This must be the pain of heartbreak I’ve heard about in rumors.

“…So that means… I really did like her…”

That just makes it even more painful that I hurt Gossan so deeply.

I would have preferred she hit me. Even if my face swelled from a fierce protest, it would have been a little… No, that’s just me wanting to be forgiven. It wouldn’t make things right.

“…How am I supposed to face her tomorrow…”

The thought alone was unbearable, and I stayed crouched, scratching my head.

Even as the fireworks continued in the distance, I couldn’t stand up for a while.

◇ ◆

“Saiki-kun, good morning. You look like you’re about to die, did you not sleep?”

“…Oh. Morning, Yassan.”

The next morning, as the first bell rang before SHR, Yassan, a small raccoon dog, called out to me as I lay slumped over my desk.

Using my arms to prop myself up, I gave Yassan a wry smile.

“It was so hot I couldn’t sleep at all. Aren’t you cutting it close today, Yassan?”

“I got caught up talking with friends by the shoe lockers. But if we’re talking about something unusual, it’s more unusual for Riho-chan not to be here yet.”

Just as Yassan said, the seat to my right was still empty. Gossan, who usually arrives early because of morning practice, was absent today of all days.

…It’s probably not unrelated to yesterday’s events. Maybe she’s so hurt or hates me so much that she’s deliberately coming just before being late to avoid seeing me?

After what happened, I went home without watching the fireworks and felt incredibly down.

However, during my sleepless night, I managed to think of various ways to ‘deal with Gossan tomorrow’. So, while trying to act as normal as possible, I planned to subtly keep some distance from Gossan, at least until summer break.

Tora-senpai, whom I reported last night’s events to, said, ‘Time will solve it.’ Despite not consulting her before talking about the curse, she comforted me instead of blaming me, and I truly think she’s a kind and wonderful person.

If I’m optimistic, this means I can focus on trying to like Tora-senpai now. Even if the curse is lifted, my relationship with Gossan seems over, and it’s hard to imagine being friends again.

But sinking into despair won’t help, so I did some simulations overnight… Yeah, I didn’t consider her not coming to school…

Amidst the anxiety and guilt, the homeroom teacher came in, and Yassan went back to her seat. The seat next to me remained empty.

And even after homeroom ended and as the first and second periods passed, Gossan still hadn’t shown up. I talked briefly with Yassan during break, but she didn’t seem to know why Gossan was absent.

Unlike me, she had Gossan’s contact info and had sent a message, but it remained unread.

…It’s my fault, isn’t it? If she’s hurt enough not to want to come to school or hates me, what can I do to make amends?

Transfer schools? It sounds drastic, but that’s all I can think of. It’s impossible not to see each other since we’re in the same class. I don’t want to ask her to endure a year.

Feeling suffocated by anxiety and guilt, I endured the discomfort in my stomach during the fourth period math class while thinking about getting Yassan to contact her again during lunch.

Just a few minutes before the end, the classroom door suddenly opened, and the gorilla appeared.