A Kid You Can’t Leave Alone?

Being a lone wolf can also be seen as a “flaw,” so I try to communicate with people naturally.

But I also make a conscious effort to spend time alone, so being seen as a total party animal is a bit of a failure. I’ll need to adjust how I present myself.

Being perceived as always alone can lead to unnecessary concern.

“So, keep it a secret that I often come here, okay?”

I smiled at her.

“Sure. I don’t have anyone to tell, so it’s fine.”

My smile froze. That was a very lonely thing she said. Why does she look so confident about it, like she’s saying I can trust her?

“…Goda-san?”

Kinoshita tilted her head.

“It’s nothing. Let’s just get some drinks and start studying.”

“Okay.”

She didn’t seem to realize what she said.

“It’s been years since I’ve been to a food court.”

She muttered, looking around at the shops.

I still couldn’t understand why Kinoshita seemed more tense than before.

Maybe she’s just frustrated that things aren’t going well, or maybe there’s something else stressing her. I can’t speculate.

But I understood what Saiga meant. If left alone, things would likely go poorly.

Seeing her casually mention her nearest station despite being alone, casually mention her loneliness, and look amazed at a food court…

“Yeah, I can’t.”

I sighed, remembering the teary voice that made me decide to interfere.

I guess I’m not very good at sticking to my own rules.

“…”

“…”

We bought drinks and ordered some fries from a fast food place.

We took out our pencil cases and notebooks and started studying across from each other.

For about 30 minutes, we focused on studying. The balance of noise here—quieter than a library but less chaotic than a downtown area—was just right for me.

As I took a break, I noticed her gaze. When I looked up, Kinoshita was staring at my hand holding the pen.

She looks really cute with that gentle expression. Her eyes, often narrowed or downcast with frustration, really change her impression.

“…What’s up?”

“Oh, sorry. It’s just… I didn’t think you’d actually study.”

“If I don’t, my grades will drop.”

“Right. That’s true…”

She muttered as if convincing herself.

Looking at her study again, her math notebook for the midterms was already more than halfway filled with equations scribbled in pencil.

Her textbooks were well-worn, and her white pencil case was dirty with graphite, far from stylish.

Comparing it to Kisaragi’s belongings would make that obvious. Though Kisaragi used to make her worn-out stuff look stylish, Kinoshita didn’t seem to care about such things.

“Don’t you think the same way? That you have to do your best?”

“Yes. I think if I don’t work hard, I’ll be left behind. I’m less efficient than others, so I have to work harder… But I thought you were different, Goda-san.”

Ah, I see.

“You thought I got good grades without studying?”

“…Sorry.”

Her apology seemed genuine, showing how misunderstood she was about me. But unlike her earlier apologies, she smiled a little.

“Thinking that you also work hard… makes me feel a bit relieved, even if it’s rude.”

“…Relieved?”

“Oh, never mind!”

Her cheeks turned slightly red as she shook her head. I couldn’t quite grasp why she was embarrassed.

While twirling my pen, I said,

“Working hard for your goals is… just natural.”

That was pretty honest.

Helping others with their goals, only to be told they couldn’t keep up.

Even if no one understands, my belief doesn’t change. It’s natural for me.

So when Kinoshita responded so easily, I couldn’t help but look up.

“I think so too.”

She didn’t seem to be just going along with me. It was surprising to find someone who shared my belief.

But her words gradually weakened.

“No matter how lacking I am now, if I keep practicing and repeating what I can do, eventually…”

She tightly gripped her mechanical pencil with her small hand.

“Kinoshita?”

“No, it’s nothing. I used to think that if I kept working hard, I’d eventually get there…”

Kinoshita laughed resignedly.

“But lately, I feel like I’m working hard on the wrong things. That everything I’ve done so far has been a waste.”

“Are your grades not improving?”

“My grades are… hit or miss. But I’m not even sure if working hard on studying is the right thing…”

“…”

Kinoshita’s tired words trailed off as she looked down.

As I pondered how to respond, she shook her head first.

“Sorry! I shouldn’t say such things. You said I might be helpful with studying, Goda-san.”

Even though her smile was forced, pushing further would be insensitive. Given our relationship, nothing I said would resonate with her now.

So instead, I decided it was better to go along with her forced positivity and focus on studying.

“Yeah, you’re right. So, I wanted to ask you about this──”

Showing her my notes, I asked for her input.

I’m not perfect from the start. I’m perfect because I accomplish what’s given to me perfectly. Until then, I keep working hard.

“Let’s see, here… oh, wait a minute. I think we covered this earlier… Ah, here it is. I’ll borrow your textbook, okay? So, you use this──”

As she explained the problems to me, she seemed more lively than I’d ever seen her, making it hard to imagine she had no friends.

She didn’t seem to dislike talking to people.

So, when she realized it was already 6 PM, Kinoshita seemed quite surprised.

Time flies when you’re having fun, even for me.