Chapter 3: Perfect Lipstick Gets Messy with Love?

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…When I woke up in the morning, I wished it had all been a dream.

Lying on my bed, I stared blankly at the apartment ceiling. I kept telling myself it was just a dream, but the more I remembered, the clearer it became that it wasn’t.

In fiction, it’s common for characters not to remember what happened while they were drunk. Reality, however, is cruel. I remembered the events of last night all too vividly.

While drinking with Sacchan, I got drunk and barged into Sagara-kun’s room. In my drunken state, I kissed him, pushed him down, and then—

…To tell the truth, I sobered up partway through. But I still kept going, driven by momentum. I remembered Tsugumi-chan’s advice, “Just let him touch your boobs,” and thought this was the only way to keep Sagara-kun’s feelings.

“Ugh, nooo…!!”

I writhed on the spot, clutching my head. That was almost like being a pervert! What if Sagara-kun was completely turned off by me…? I might as well die…

After regretting my actions for a while, I stood up, determined to apologize. Then I realized I had slept without removing my makeup, adding to my depression. Oh, the golden time for skincare…

After taking a shower, I headed to Sagara-kun’s room, still barefaced. I rang the intercom, feeling like a prisoner awaiting execution as I waited for the door to open.

Before long, Sagara-kun appeared, looking even more exhausted than I was. Dark circles hung under his eyes; he might not have slept at all.

“…Oh, Nanase… about last night—”

“Sagara-kun! I’m really sorry about last night!”

Before he could finish, I bent over and apologized. Sagara-kun hurriedly said, “Nanase, you don’t need to apologize,” but I couldn’t lift my head. I was too scared to see his expression.

“…I’m really sorry.”

“…It’s okay. I’m not bothered by it.”

Even though Sagara-kun said that, he might secretly be disappointed in me.

I keep causing Sagara-kun trouble instead of making him happy. Recently, I’ve been totally useless… always messing up. If this keeps up, he might really get tired of me.

Cautiously, I looked up at Sagara-kun. He had a troubled expression on his face, making me want to cry.

◆◆◆

A week had passed since Nanase’s drunken escapade.

Trying to rid myself of impure thoughts, I focused on studying. There were only two weeks left until the midterms. If I could perform well, maybe I’d gain some confidence.

After finishing my fourth-period class, I secluded myself in the computer lab to work on my seminar report. Things were going smoothly until I hit a snag. After struggling with it for a while, I decided to ask the professor and headed to the faculty office.

The sign on the door indicated the professor was in. I knocked and said, “Excuse me,” before opening the door. The aroma of coffee wafted out.

“Oh, Sagara.”

Seeing me, the professor, holding a mug, grumbled. “Sorry, I have a question,” I said, and he silently pulled out the chair in front of him.

Though he seemed strict, the professor was surprisingly helpful when consulted. He answered my questions in detail and even recommended useful references.

“Noticing that issue shows you’re taking the assignment seriously.”

Though he wore a stern face, it seemed I was being complimented. When I thanked him, the professor let out a bored snort. I thought he might benefit from being more cheerful, but I wasn’t one to talk. I was probably missing out on at least 80% of life’s joys.

After taking a sip of coffee, the professor said, “By the way, thanks for handling the presentation the other day.”

“Oh… uh, yes.”

The mention of that event made me respond vaguely. The wounds from that day hadn’t healed; just thinking about it made me nauseous.

Unaware of my turmoil, the professor continued expressionlessly, “I’m planning a presentation for visitors at the cultural festival… Sagara, want to do it?”

“What… What!?”

I was taken aback. What was the professor thinking? Did he really want to entrust me with this after seeing my previous performance? Honestly, I wanted to refuse, but…

…At this rate, I’d never change.

“…I… I’ll think about it.”

Feeling ashamed for not answering immediately, I heard the professor’s flat response, “Alright, let me know.”

“Sagara, you’ve been doing well lately. Last week’s assignment was well-summarized despite the challenging topic.”

“…! Th-Thank you.”

It was rare for the professor to give such direct praise. Feeling embarrassed, I scratched the back of my head. The professor, with a frown, said, “Speaking of assignments.”

“Tell Nanase to submit her assignment from last week. The only ones who haven’t turned it in are Nanase and Kinami.”

“…What? Nanase?”

I couldn’t help but ask. While it wasn’t surprising for Kinami, it was unthinkable for the usually diligent Nanase to miss a deadline.

Frowning, the professor crossed his arms.

“She usually submits first… but lately, she’s been unfocused.”

…Come to think of it, Nanase had been acting strange recently.

Not just the time she pushed me down, but even before that. She seemed desperate to please me, losing sight of herself.

──I don’t know how to make you happy, Sagara-kun…

Could it be that Nanase’s lack of focus was… my fault?

“…I understand. I’ll tell her.”

Answering the professor, I felt a different kind of anxiety welling up inside me.

Returning from university, I saw the light on in Nanase’s room.

Since the night she pushed me down, we had acted normal on the surface, but a subtle tension lingered. We greeted each other when we met, but it felt distant. But today, I needed to deliver the professor’s message.

After parking my bike, I climbed the stairs and rang her doorbell. When she finally opened the door, Nanase appeared barefaced in glasses and a tracksuit.

“Oh, Sagara-kun… W-Welcome back.”

Greeting me, Nanase looked a bit uneasy. I felt uncomfortable too and quickly got to the point.

“…Nanase. The professor said you need to submit last week’s assignment.”

“…Huh!?”

Nanase’s face paled instantly. Covering her mouth with one hand, she exclaimed, “I-I forgot!?”

“No way, I didn’t send the email…!? I finished it long ago! I’ll send it right away… Thank you, Sagara-kun.”

Nanase hurriedly opened her laptop and sent the email. Watching her pale face, the professor’s words echoed in my mind.

Hesitating, I spoke.

“…The professor also said… you’ve been unfocused lately.”

Hearing my words, Nanase bit her lower lip and looked down in shame. She must have been aware of it to some extent.

I had been fixated on the idea that I wasn’t good enough for her, desperately trying to fulfill her wishes—but was that really right? Was I causing her university life to stagnate?

Nanase’s goal of a rosy college life… what does that mean?

It couldn’t just be about making a hundred friends or having a wonderful boyfriend. I had promised to support her but ended up doing nothing.

At this rate, I was just a hindrance to Nanase.

“…What am I doing… This won’t do at all…”

Nanase muttered, lowering her eyebrows in dejection. Seeing her so downcast, I didn’t know what to say.

I reached out to hug her but hesitated and pulled back. That wasn’t what I should be doing right now.

“…Nanase, you’re always diligent… you’re just having a rough patch.”

“…Yeah…”

“Well, I have to get to work, so I’ll be going.”

As I stood up, Nanase grabbed the hem of my shirt tightly. She looked up at me with an unusually anxious expression, like a lost child.

“Won’t you come here after work tonight?”

“…No. It’ll be late, so I’ll pass.”

Nanase gave a sad smile, “I guess so.” My chest ached, but I averted my gaze.

tln : somehow sagara got factory reset. and its a lil bit annoying.