My Childhood Friend Attacked Me When I Declared That Her Birthday Present Was 'Me' - Chapter 6

It Would’ve Been Better If the Roles Were Reversed

“First of all, let me clarify something, Auntie.”

“Oh, me?”

“What are you talking about! Kouta~♪ She’s not Auntie anymore, is she? Chi-chan is part of the family now! !”

“Just be quiet for a moment, Mom.”  

I have to handle the train that barges in with excitement and interrupts it.

Oh, by the way, [Chi-chan] is Kaori’s mother’s nickname, Chika-san.  

“Right, A-chan. Give Kouta his turn and don’t rush him, okay?”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll follow what M-kun says and stay quiet for a bit!”

“Dad, don’t say unnecessary things.”  

It’s not like I have a major announcement or anything.

Oh, by the way, A-chan and M-kun are the nicknames we use for my parents at home, although I don’t really want them to use those nicknames at this age.

A-chan = Asuka

M-kun = Makoto

There you have it. The most useless trivia, right?  

“So, Auntie.”

“You can call me your mother-in-law if you want to.”

“Don’t let yourself be fooled by my idiotic parents. Auntie, why are my parents here now?”

“Because they were invited on LINE.”

“Because they were invited…”

“I said, [My daughter and Kouta finally did it! Come and celebrate!].”

“What kind of message is that?”

“We should fill in the moat, okay?”

(TN: Fill in the moat; metaphorically, conveys the idea of making a successful romantic relationship with a partner by getting involved not with the person you have feelings for, but with the people around him or her. I.e, To siege Kouta with his parents.)

“That’s not the issue here. I mean, where is my privacy?”

“It’s a child’s duty to report to their parents, isn’t it?”

“Isn’t that something for elementary school kids? We’re in high school now and almost going through puberty.”

“It’s not puberty, it’s the mating season.”

“Shut up. It’s only you, you’re in a perpetual state of mating season.”  

Don’t interrupt me, Kaori… The conversation is getting nowhere.  

“Anyway, I don’t know why you are trying to struggle out of this. “

“Can you not use the expression [Struggle (足掻)]?”

(TN: 足掻, struggle, desperately trying to find a way out.)

“Since you’ve already had s*x with Kaori-chan without protection, from now on, behave as a man and as a father…”

“Don’t mess with me. Why should I behave like that?”  

At that moment, my mother’s eyes sparkled.  

“What are you talking about now? My child! You’ve already made someone else’s daughter a wounded person!”

“I don’t want to say this, but it’s actually me who has been made into a wounded person!”

“It’s outrageous for you to do it without protection!”

“Mom… tell that to the idiot standing behind me.”

“This is why men are always called creatures of desire!”

“The embodiment of a creature of desire is standing right behind me, so give her a punch…”  

The punch came. It definitely came. It hit me with a right hook, not her.  

“Why? Why me?”

“Shut up! Admit it! You also wanted to sleep with Kaori-chan!”

“What do I gain from admitting that?”

“It will help heal the wounded Kaori-chan, okay?”

“She’s not wounded. In fact, she’s ecstatic regardless of what I do.”

“Look behind you. She’s crying.”

“What?”

“Boo-hoo. Boo-hoo. How terrible! (sarcastic)”

“There’s no emotion behind it, though?”

“Even if there’s no emotion, she’s still crying!”

“This is too unreasonable!”  

First, I need organize my reasoning.  

“Anyway, just say it was enjoyable.”

“Why? I really don’t understand why I have to say that.”  

Why do I have to say such things?  

“Because she can be satisfied with that.”

“There’s no basis for that.”

“I have a basis! I am the basis!”

“What?”

“Because we ended up getting married shortly after doing that. Right, M-kun?”

“I’m embarrassed to say…”

“I don’t want to hear it!”  

First of all! I don’t want to know about my parents’ s*xual situation!