Pretend to be crazy - Chapter 75

Shen Yan really wanted to kill Ruan Zhixian — but he truly couldn’t.

After choking him for a while and realizing it didn’t hurt at all, maybe Ruan Zhixian even took his murderous intent as flirting, he lost interest and let go.

Ruan Zhixian immediately grabbed his hand and put it back, coughing twice with a hoarse voice, saying, “Bro, if you squeeze any harder, I’ll really die.”

Shen Yan sneered sarcastically, “How could I let you die? If you die, who would I talk to — anyway, back to the point, what’s wrong with my eyes?”

Ruan Zhixian pulled him close, hugging him and whispering intimately into his ear, “your eyes can lie, so I hid them. If you beg me, I’ll tell you where they are.”

Knowing he wasn’t truly blind, the small anger inside him instantly faded. He patted Ruan Zhixian’s arm lazily and said, “I beg you.”

Ruan Zhixian smiled, “Not enough.”

Shen Yan turned his head to find Ruan Zhixian’s breath and kissed him messily, “Zhixian, I beg you.”

Ruan Zhixian grabbed his neck, stopping his clumsy kissing. His fingertips parted Shen Yan’s lips and probed inside, stirring Shen Yan’s wet, soft tongue with a very casual tone:

“I should cut off your tongue.”

Shen Yan’s tongue was toyed with until it hurt a little; saliva overflowed. He leaned back, trying to get rid of Ruan Zhixian’s annoying fingers. Naturally resisting irritated the fingers, which, originally just teasing his mouth, pushed in deeper, pressing the root of his tongue, roughly pinching it.

Shen Yan clenched his teeth tightly. The taste of blood spread in his mouth. He didn’t have a fetish for blood, but when Ruan Zhixian’s fingers stopped moving, he turned his head to spit out the blood — only to be stopped by Ruan Zhixian, who forcefully covered the lower half of his face and pressed his throat, forcing Shen Yan to swallow.

Only then did Ruan Zhixian let go and moved away a little, watching him frown as he wiped his mouth with the blanket.

Shen Yan cursed him a lunatic. Ruan Zhixian laughed softly and asked again, “Don’t like it?”

Shen Yan was silent, just kept wiping his mouth.

His lips were almost rubbed raw.

He was willing to crown Ruan Zhixian as the new biggest landmine.

A little worse than Falson.

Falson was a landmine that was easy to detect, and there was still a way to handle stepping on it.

But Ruan Zhixian was different — every problem was a landmine; no matter how he answered, it would explode.

If he said he liked it, Ruan Zhixian might make him endure more.

If he said he didn’t…

That bastard might take the opportunity to make him endure something else.

Nothing fun at all.

Shen Yan wiped for a long time, and Ruan Zhixian patiently watched him. Seeing his increasingly perfunctory wiping, he asked again, “don’t like it?”

“Just so-so,” Shen Yan cautiously gave a neutral answer.

Ruan Zhixian: “Why just so-so?”

Shen Yan answered randomly: “Why should I care?”

Ruan Zhixian: “Why lie to me?”

Shen Yan: “Why aren’t you satisfied with my arrangement?”

Ruan Zhixian chuckled softly, “Why should I be satisfied? Why did you leave me in Black Star, making me do those things you thought would satisfy me?”

Shen Yan: “You’re not satisfied?”

“you didn’t say why.”

“You didn’t just ask me one question either.”

They fell silent in tacit understanding.

The tatami was large, enough for three or four people to lie comfortably. Shen Yan actively reached for Ruan Zhixian’s side, resting his head on his arm, calmly saying:

“Ruan Zhixian, you’ve been watching me through Zhou Hui’s eyes for a year and a half. In that year and a half, I didn’t hide anything. You should know how ordinary and boring I am. You should have killed me the moment you found me.”

He paused, snorted, “You didn’t act, you locked me up, you let those three do some half-hearted ‘revenge’ — not even real revenge… You hid in the back watching. How many cameras are in this room? Did you enjoy it?”

Ruan Zhixian was silent, knowing Shen Yan’s questions didn’t require answers.

Shen Yan couldn’t see clearly, but didn’t want to miss any emotional changes in Ruan Zhixian, so he lay on top of him, listening to his heartbeat. His other hand, carrying some private grudge, slapped Ruan Zhixian’s face.

Ruan Zhixian felt the pain, his features scrunching up then relaxing.

Under Shen Yan’s touch, these changes were very clear.

Shen Yan: “Don’t lie. Are you…?”

Ruan Zhixian cut in: “Yes.”

Shen Yan surprised and pinched his face, “Yes what? I haven’t finished asking.”

Ruan Zhixian said softly, “Sorry.”

Shen Yan rested his head back. Ruan Zhixian’s breathing made his chest rise and fall gently, his heartbeat steady at sixty-two beats per minute — no matter how evolved, he hadn’t escaped humanity.

Shen Yan closed his eyes and counted, then said softly, “Do you think I’m still the same kind as you?”

“…Don’t know.” Ruan Zhixian gently stroked Shen Yan’s back of the head, twirling his short hair around his fingers. “Bro’s a great pretender. If not, how could it look so real?”

Shen Yan: “I’m not.”

“You are.” Ruan Zhixian took his hand from his face, made a fist with all fingers, then released one finger at a time.

“One, you don’t have the psychological burden of killing people.”

Shen Yan: “I do.”

“Two, you actually enjoy the game between us.”

“Forced by circumstances.”

Ruan Zhixian snorted and released Shen Yan’s third finger.

Now Shen Yan interrupted: “Three, everything you said to me the night you met Qi Cong was a lie. Anything else?”

Ruan Zhixian sighed, kissed Shen Yan’s fingers on his lips, helplessly said, “As long as you keep denying, even if I prepared three thousand pieces of evidence, you’d deny them all.”

Shen Yan: “You don’t accept reality, unwilling to accept that I’m an ordinary person.”

Ruan Zhixian: “Clearly, you’re avoiding it, unwilling to accept your true self.”

Shen Yan: “What about you? You don’t care what I am, right? You just want someone to accompany you.”

“I only want you.”

“Get lost.” Shen Yan moved his head away and kicked him.

Ruan Zhixian laughed happily at being scolded. Shen Yan was annoyed by the laughter and turned to lie on his side.

Ruan Zhixian lightly tugged the chain, “Angry?”

“Unlock the chain. I don’t like being locked up.”

This time Ruan Zhixian didn’t bargain. He grabbed the handcuffs on Shen Yan’s wrist hard. Shen Yan heard the metal twisting. The next second, his heavy hand suddenly felt light.

He lifted his hand to adjust and said, “Eyes.”

Ruan Zhixian: “Not yet.”

Shen Yan didn’t continue.

He was a bit curious — when would Ruan Zhixian finally face reality, lose interest, and truly give up?

Shen Yan now had a bit more room to move.

The door to this room wasn’t locked. When Shen Yan pushed it open, he entered a new space. The floor was marble; after a few steps, he touched a railing. The railing had undulating carved patterns. Following the pattern to the left, there was a long staircase.

He carefully counted his steps down the stairs. The staircase wasn’t steep but he was cautious.

There were fifteen steps, each twenty centimeters high. The height from the first floor to the second was three meters.

The villa seemed pretty big.

There were only a few villas in the Red Star A City villa district. He had a friend who wanted to buy a villa but wasn’t sure which one, so he sent him several floor plans to help decide. He also took the opportunity to learn quite a bit about the local villas.

Leaving wasn’t that easy. At least before his eyes recovered, he had no intention of leaving.

At this moment, he simply didn’t want to stay in that seemingly endless little dark room. Any fresh air from outside would bring him peace.

Shen Yan cautiously stepped down the last stair. He tentatively stepped forward and, finding no more steps, showed a few obvious signs of happiness on his face.

His hand reached out a few more centimeters.

It touched a wall.

No, it was a person.

The next second, he was picked up horizontally and carried back.

He didn’t struggle. He touched the cool long hair and softly said, “Blaze, I’m not running. Put me down.”

No response.

He was carried back to that room. The door clicked shut.

And the sound of it being locked from the inside followed.

Shen Yan sat on the ground for a while, then suddenly asked, “Blaze, are you there?”

No sound.

Shen Yan felt around to open the door. There was a knob at the bottom. Turning it left twice would lock the door from inside, preventing it from opening outside.

Turning it right twice would unlock it.

Normally, when closing a small dark room, the lock should be on the outside to prevent the person inside from opening it…

It opened.

Shen Yan held the doorknob, stunned for a moment. Before he could take a step, someone embraced him from behind, covering his hand and making him close the door with his own hand.

After doing this, the person tried to pull away, but Shen Yan grabbed his wrist tightly, the sleeve wrinkling from the grip.

He pressed his lips tight, his whole body tense. He held his breath, many murderous and cutting thoughts flashing through his mind. But once he remembered it was Blaze who did this, he deflated like a popped balloon, all his anger whooshing away.

He let go, turned, and stepped back until his back touched the door.

“If you won’t let me out, I won’t go out,” Shen Yan smiled lightly in the general direction of Blaze, “Can you talk to me?”

No response.

Shen Yan sighed quietly in his heart.

From day one, Blaze had been different from them all. He seemed detached from the situation, as if ready to withdraw at any time. Coming here was just Ruan Zhixian’s order and task. He didn’t actually hate Shen Yan, nor did he want to see or find him.

Just seemed like it.

Blaze was too restrained, even his hatred was well controlled, only showing a harmless icy surface.

Shen Yan wished he wouldn’t be like that.

Getting no feedback, he pressed his lips and changed his mind.

Forget it.

What’s the point of talking? What position or attitude would he take talking to Blaze?

He didn’t want to lie today.

He opened the door. Without the chains fixing his position, moving was harder; he could only touch the wall and move slowly.

Blaze followed behind, unhurried.

Shen Yan lay down on the bed. Blaze stood stiffly by the bedside, looking down at him.

Shen Yan was very quiet, resting on his arm, his eyes vaguely fixed on the ceiling, staring but seemingly lost in thought.

Blaze stared at those bio-implanted gray-black eyes of Shen Yan, a cold sweat suddenly breaking out on his back.

He deliberately controlled his breathing speed. When Shen Yan appeared at the staircase entrance, his mind went blank but then finally started working again.

Why unlock his chains? Why let him out? Wasn’t Ruan Zhixian afraid he’d run again? Or was he bored of playing and didn’t care anymore, letting him go wherever he wanted?

Could he… could he hide Shen Yan?