Pretend to be crazy - Chapter 81

Just as Shen Yan stepped out of the Black Star terminal, he was cornered by Ruan Zhixian.

Shen Yan was fully armed in a baseball cap and black mask, clearly not wanting to be recognized.

But Ruan Zhixian spotted him at first glance.

With no expression, Ruan Zhixian followed beside him, face so dark it looked like ink could drip from it.

Shen Yan said nothing, kept his head down, and walked faster and faster.

Only someone like Ruan Zhixian, with long legs, could keep up effortlessly.

Anyone else would have to jog to stay close and would’ve been shaken off long ago.

They only stopped when they reached the parking area.

Shen Yan’s eyes were scanning around, seemingly searching for a vehicle.

The journey from the station to their homes would take half a day without a flying vehicle.

So usually, Ruan Zhixian would pick him up.

As expected, he grabbed Shen Yan’s hand to lead him to the parked craft.

He tugged twice but couldn’t move him. When Ruan Zhixian turned to look, Shen Yan’s gaze was on their joined hands. Calmly, he said, “Let go.”

Ruan Zhixian responded coldly, “If you’re not taking my car, whose are you taking?”

“What’s it to you, ex?” Shen Yan smiled faintly, pried off his fingers one by one, and said, “I’m going home to grab some things, and then I’m gone.”

Ruan Zhixian: “Where to?”

A car approached, and Shen Yan waved at it, pushing past Ruan Zhixian. “We broke up, I don’t owe you updates. Move, you’re in the way.”

The flying vehicle stopped in front of them. The cheerful driver leaned out of the window to greet them, but Ruan Zhixian’s sharp glare made him pull his head back immediately.

Turning back to Shen Yan, Ruan Zhixian couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Each word stabbed like a needle into his chest, making it hurt to breathe.

Shen Yan had believed his lie, but his reaction was far beyond what he expected.

After three years with Shen Yan, every test of Shen Yan’s love had been answered with certainty.

Why not this time?

When Shen Yan tried to get in the car, he blocked him, then forcibly dragged him away. When Shen Yan struggled in silence and annoyed him enough, Ruan Zhixian just picked him up.

The kind-hearted driver jumped out, ready to call the police. But just as he took out his terminal, the young man on Ruan Zhixian’s shoulder raised a finger and made a “shhh” gesture, smiling as he tapped on his terminal.

The driver’s screen showed the trip had been canceled, payment of 600 credited, with a five-star review: “Very satisfied.”

Driver: …

Got double the fare, but didn’t feel great about it.

Damn.

Ruan Zhixian shoved Shen Yan into the car and got in beside him. The craft’s autopilot kicked in, lifting off.

Shen Yan sat far away, turning to stare out the window, showing only the back of his head.

When Ruan Zhixian tried to hold his hand, he smacked it away.

Ruan Zhixian looked at his reddening hand and let out a strange chuckle, eyes like a viper as he fixed them on Shen Yan’s defiant back.

Slowly, he said, “I said we should break up, and you blocked me on everything instantly. That eager? Practiced it a few times in secret?”

Shen Yan remained silent.

“You’ve wanted to break up, huh? All that ‘I love you’ crap—really you were just scared I’d veer off your carefully drawn path, ruin your peaceful little life?”

Shen Yan’s silence was deafening.

With no reply, Ruan Zhixian felt like he’d been hurled back to three years ago—or even before that.

Still smiling, with a storm brewing in his eyes, he clasped the back of Shen Yan’s neck, cold fingers tracing his nape. Leaning close, he whispered:

“Bro, the breakup was a lie. Don’t even think about leaving me.”

Shen Yan still said nothing.

Ruan Zhixian, spoiled by three years of Shen Yan’s devotion, couldn’t take this.

He grabbed his hat brim to turn him around and threatened, “Even if you don’t love me, I’ll…”

He stopped.

Shen Yan finally faced him, eyes cast down, eyelashes damp with tears. His eyes were red, and tears kept falling, soaking his mask.

Ruan Zhixian’s mind went blank. He instinctively tore off the mask.

Shen Yan’s lips were bitten raw—no wonder he hadn’t spoken earlier.

He glanced up at Ruan Zhixian and said softly, “Zhixian, I’m disappointed. In myself.”

“Three years, and I couldn’t make you trust me.”

Ruan Zhixian quickly wiped his tears, but they wouldn’t stop. The sharp pain in his chest turned into a heavy, soft cotton—soaked with acid—stuffing him full until he couldn’t breathe.

Shen Yan grabbed his wrist and stopped him. “You’ve always been anxious,” he continued. “You tested me constantly, afraid I’d leave. So I kept proving myself.”

“Every time, I was sincere. You didn’t believe me. So this time, you tried something new—what, test me by proposing?”

“If I said yes, I loved you. If not, I didn’t?”

He wiped his eyes and looked at him, voice hoarse from crying, warm and fragile:

“Fine. I agree. Let’s get married.”

“And then what? What’s the next test? Divorce? Watch me beg, cry, chase you—and you judge me from above: ‘Look, he loves me.’”

Shen Yan’s words weren’t fair, and he knew it. “Zhixian, that’s not love. That’s torment.”

Finally, he sighed. “Time apart might be good. Let’s cool off.”

Ruan Zhixian had never thought this far.

He didn’t realize Shen Yan had.

What Shen Yan said wasn’t true. He never begged, never cried, never chased. He handled every problem coolly—even enjoyed doing so.

Seeing him cry brought more heartache than joy.

Something felt off.

Very off.

Staring at him, he muttered, “bro, you’re faking it.”

Shen Yan blinked, lips twitching. “No, I’m not.”

“You’re faking it.”

Shen Yan couldn’t hold the act. He darted forward to kiss Ruan Zhixian’s cheek and grinned. “What, only you get to fake a breakup?”

The tension vanished. Ruan Zhixian tackled him with a kiss, fumbling with his waistband.

Shen Yan held his hand and whispered, “Be gentle, I like these pants.” Then added, “Also, we’re not home yet.”

“I can’t wait.”

Ruan Zhixian didn’t want to admit it, but he’d been scared. He needed to feel Shen Yan, to breathe him in. He nuzzled his collarbone, biting his ear.

The heat made Shen Yan flush. As Ruan Zhixian guided his hand down, Shen Yan said lazily, “Fine, break up. We’ll just be f*ck buddies until we find someone better—”

Ruan Zhixian silenced him with a bite to the tongue, eyes fierce.

“Don’t say that.”

“You said it first.”

Ruan Zhixian groaned from Shen Yan’s grip. Pressing into his neck, he breathed, “My fault. If I ever mention breaking up again, kill me.”

Shen Yan chuckled and let go. “Still wanna get married?”

“You decide, bro.”

“Really?”

It was hard to move like this. Ruan Zhixian sat up and pulled Shen Yan onto his lap. Face to face, he cupped his neck and kissed him again. Then, burying his face in his neck, he nodded.

Shen Yan toyed with him like a puppy.

No winning against that.

They went from the car to the bed. The once-pristine home was wrecked. They went at it until nothing was left.

When they woke, it was noon.

Shen Yan was examining a ring.

Ruan Zhixian’s engagement ring.

Made a year ago, redesigned multiple times.

Polished silver, obsidian center, with scattered stones and engraved band—like a starry galaxy.

But no wider than three toothpicks. Looked simple until you saw the detail.

“An engagement ring?” Shen Yan asked.

“Mm.” Ruan Zhixian leaned in. “Nice?”

“Put it on me.”

He hesitated.

Shen Yan placed the ring in his hand and turned to him, smiling. “Propose now—I just might say yes.”

Ruan Zhixian stared. “I’m serious.”

“Do I look like I’m joking?”

He’d been rejected many times and thought this was payback for the breakup.

Even so, he couldn’t help but hope. Gazing at Shen Yan, he asked:

“Shen Yan, will you marry me?”

“I will.”

“Will you grow old with me?”

“I will.”

He lifted Shen Yan’s hand and slid the ring on, eyes locked on his. “Will you love me forever?”

“I will.”

As the ring clicked into place, Ruan Zhixian saw a matching band on his own hand.

Shen Yan had put it there while he slept.

“I thought you’d notice,” he said, smiling.

He’d said yes before being asked.

No questions. No promises required.

He just trusted him.

Shen Yan loved him.

Emotion hit like a wave. Ruan Zhixian gasped—realizing he’d forgotten to breathe.

He covered their hands, overwhelmed by peace and joy. Even his dark features softened.

Shen Yan blushed a little. “You proposed three times. This life, next, and the one after—I’m marrying you. You better remember me.”

Ruan Zhixian didn’t believe in reincarnation. But right now, he hoped they’d have more than three lifetimes.

He kissed Shen Yan’s fingers and whispered, “Marry me. Marry me. Marry me.”

Shen Yan looked at him like he was a child. “Okay. Okay. Okay.”

“Marry me. Marry me. Marry me.”

“Okay. Okay. Okay.”

“Mar—”

Shen Yan clamped a hand over his mouth. “Don’t push it.”

Ruan Zhixian laughed and kissed his palm.

“Okay.”

The End.