Saint's Prison - Chapter 21

Something Wonderful

Thanks to Johanna, my mood had considerably brightened.

Well, she was the cause of quite a bit of fatigue as well, but that’s the one part I can be grateful for.

In fact, it’s the only part I can be grateful for. Before praying to God, she should repent for her sadistic ways.

While she’s away, I grumble in my mind. I don’t have the courage to say it to her face. Cowardly? No, this is the gift of pacifism.

I stand up from the lawn, brushing off the grass from my body. After stretching fully, I take a deep breath.

It would be too pointless to simply return to the monastery now, so I decide to take a walk around the grounds.

The monastery grounds are vast.

There’s plenty of space to walk around.

Slowly, I move forward.

Vineyards, the fragrance of new greenery, the swaying trees.

Hymns that can be heard from the chapel.

Everything is pleasant.

It’s good to have days like this once in a while.

It’s good to have days where you can quietly bask in the spring weather.

***

At night, in my room.

As I lay relaxed on my bed, Amal, sitting beside me, looks at my face and murmurs.

“Andy-sama, your expression seems to have changed.”

“Really? I don’t think it has changed.”

“No, it has changed.”

Her reply was immediate.

Amal gazed at me intently, drawing her face closer.

The distance was just a step away from a kiss. Her crimson eyes didn’t let go of me.

The visage of a goddess filled my entire view. Sweet breath escaped from her glossy pink lips, brushing against mine. It was as if she was kissing me with her breath.

Damn, my thoughts are drifting in that direction. God, why have you forsaken me.

“Too close, too close.”

I push on Amal’s forehead.

It’s bad for my heart.

A beauty is still a beauty even at close range, which is why it’s troublesome. I really wish she would stop. Amal looks sulky, which was also cute. Being beautiful has its advantages.

“It’s not too close. This is the proper distance between me and Andy-sama.”

She’s lying.

Her assertive manner almost convinced me for a moment. Amal is growing stronger every day, especially towards me. The extent of her growth is somewhat frightening.

“If you say so, Amal has changed too.”

“I haven’t changed.”

“No, you have changed.”

Amal tilts her head quizzically and frowns. I smile at her reaction.

“What has changed about me?”

I remember those inorganic red eyes. A vacant gaze that looks somewhere and nowhere. A cold beauty that is too perfectly arranged like an artificial object. Her smooth, silvery hair.

—And then, the atmosphere like a broken radio that intermittently makes noise. No, a radio that is broken but still desperately continues to produce sound, that kind of feeling.

“Everything. Your expressions, your voice, your attitude. When we first met, no offense, but you were expressionless like a doll. But now, you quickly get jealous and cry, you’re a spoiled child, on top of that, you’re lonely, …and you’re vulnerable.”

“Ugh, Andy-sama.”

She complains that there’s not a single good thing about her, and I pat her head to comfort her. …See, she’s indeed vulnerable.

“—But, I like the current Amal more. That you quickly get jealous and cry means that you care about me. Your spoilt nature is very cute. I want to protect the lonely Amal, and I want to properly comfort the vulnerable you. —So yes, in that sense, I have changed as well.”

I see, it makes sense.

I couldn’t leave the abandoned puppy-like Amal alone. I doted on her, spoiled her, and from there, we gradually slipped into this kind of relationship. To be led along is precisely this.

I laugh and look at Amal. She’s blushing up to her neck, frozen in place. Her eyes are moist, her lips trembling.

“…Amal?”

“It’s not fair.”

Amal lowers her face, gripping the hem of her chemise tightly.

“It’s not fair, not fair at all! Andy-sama is not fair!”

“Hey hey, what’s not fair?”

“It’s only me who’s not fair!”

“…I don’t understand what you mean.”

“Argh, why don’t you understand!”

“Don’t get angry.”

“I’m not angry!”

While I soothe the fussing Amal and sigh, I think that girls suddenly get angry for no reason. At times like this, it’s best not to say anything and just listen. If you prod them carelessly, they explode. It’s exactly

There’s a verse in a Mother Goose nursery rhyme that goes like this:

—What are little girls made of?

—Little girls are made of sugar and spice, and something wonderful.

In my opinion, surely that something wonderful is something that men will never understand in their lifetime, as that’s how God must have created it. So, when a girl suddenly gets angry, bursts into tears, or breaks into laughter, don’t be flustered. Surely, it’s because of that something wonderful.

If it’s incomprehensible, then that’s okay. It’s not about understanding each other, nor about matching each other’s pace. Even if we’re out of sync, just being there and saying, “I’ll listen to you,” is good enough.

What a girl wants is always just one thing.

It’s only ever that one thing.