Saint's Prison - Chapter 26

The Darkness of the Heart

Amal, sitting on my lap, hugs me from the front.

In simple terms, it’s the position of sitting face to face. Not in a indecent way.

I want you to take my words at face value. Not in a indecent way.

… It’s important, so I said it twice.

She buries her face in my neck and sniffs deeply.

“Do I smell?”

“No. It’s just that there’s a different scent mixed in. And it’s… ing.”

I can’t catch the end of her mumbled words, and I inadvertently tilt my head in confusion.

After a few seconds of sniffing, Amal suddenly looks up, not hiding her irritated eyes, and confronts me with a sharp voice.

“Andy-sama, I smell the scent of another woman on you.”

“Hah? What are you talking about?”

“… The scent is on you. The smell of someone other than me is clinging. Don’t tell me, did you hold her in those arms? Did you embrace her and whisper love?”

“How did it come to that! I don’t remember anything like… ah.”

I recall the conversation in Johanna’s room earlier. At the end of the scene, Johanna approached and whispered in my ear. Could the scent have transferred then? No, could it really be just that?

Seeing my reaction, Amal’s eyes widen, and she bites her lip hard.

“Even though I am here for you, Andy-sama… Even though you wouldn’t lay a hand on me, even when I… used that. I definitely admire you more than she does, Andy-sama. What am I lacking?!”

“No, it’s not like that, no, Johanna and I were just talking!”

Hearing those words, Amal slowly lowers her face.

It’s as if a mirage is wavering, something writhing.

A prickling sensation at the back of my neck, my heart racing as if warning me of danger.

“Just by talking, a scent gets transferred?”

Amal mutters as if spitting out the words.

At that, I’m left speechless.

I can’t talk about the content of my conversation with Johanna. At that moment, I curse my own inability to quickly lie.

“Johanna… Johanna Scotus! The dog of the order, descendant of plunderers and conquerors. How dare you…!”

Dark shadows fall upon her blood-like crimson eyes, and Amal growls.

“… Amal?”

“Andy-sama, you said before to tell you if something bothers me… I hate the idea of another woman taking you away. I hate the thought of you touching her, talking to her, laughing with her. I don’t want to hand you over to anyone. Even if you desire someone else, I absolutely, absolutely won’t!”

I watch in stunned silence as Amal’s fierce transformation unfolds.
Fanatical affection, obsession, it’s what’s driving Amal.

What’s left when the heart fuels the passions and they burn out? Ash, or dust?

Or perhaps, a hatred as hard and condensed as coal.

* * *

It was an unusually serene night.

After that, I began preparing for bed without any further conversation with Amal.

She glanced at me repeatedly as if gauging my mood, but I pretended not to notice.

Amal repeated this several times, each time looking like she was about to cry.

Of course, I hadn’t come to dislike her. It’s just that I didn’t know how to interact with her right now.

Amal removed her robe and was left in her chemise. I also took off my top, leaving my upper body bare, and changed my pants.

That’s when,

“… Andy-sama”

she called my name with a trembling, fragile voice.

At the clear sound of her voice, my heart skipped a beat.

Without looking at me, Amal hesitated, retracting and stretching out her hand multiple times.

After a beat, she stretched out her hand decisively and I reflexively brushed it off.

“Ah… Andy-sama?”

Amal looked frozen, alternating her gaze between her brushed-off hand and my face, not moving an inch.
After several seconds, as if finally comprehending the situation, her face turned pale, and she looked like it was the end of the world.

“I’m sorry, Andy-sama. If Amal did something wrong, I apologize. Please forgive me, please.”

Amal sat down on the cold stone floor, prostrating herself and begging for forgiveness over and over like in prayer.

“Stop it, you don’t have to do that!”

“No, no! Let go! Please let go! If I don’t apologize, Andy-sama will go far away. You’ll go to that woman Johanna. You’ll surely forget about me, the abominable child! Andy-sama, don’t go. Don’t leave me behind…!”

I remember how she became mentally unstable and delirious before over Katy’s matter. But this time, it seemed even deeper rooted.
It was as if she couldn’t even see me standing right in front of her.

“Amal! Look at me! Look at me!”

Somehow I manage to embrace the thrashing Amal. I hold her cheeks and make her face mine. She continues to sob, tears streaming down her face as I call her name, Amal, over and over.
After a while, the light returns to her vacant eyes, and recognizing my presence, she stops resisting, seemingly relieved.

“… I’m sorry, Andy-sama.”

“No need to apologize. You haven’t done anything wrong. I’m sorry for brushing you off. I was just surprised. Can you forgive me, Amal?”

“Yes! I forgive you! So, please, don’t go anywhere!”

“Alright, I understand. Stand up now. Your nightgown is covered in dust. Oh, and it’s on your face too.”

I help Amal stand and brush the dust off her chemise. Then, I gently wipe the dirt from her cheeks and forehead.

Although she didn’t understand why I had brushed her off, she begged for forgiveness, thinking she was at fault. She was shocked and sad that I had rejected her, and she still cried, begging me not to go. In order to connect her only thread, she did the prostrate without hesitation. She feels intense anger at herself for letting this happen.

With one action from me, it collapses like a Jenga game. Amal depends on me that much.

Was she spending her days relying on her connection with me as her lifeline?

…There, i caught a glimpse of the darkness in Amal’s heart.

Author’s Note : The girl’s darkness entangles her legs like sludge and sinks forever.

Tln : Merry Christmas everyone. Hope you all have a great day today. There will be bonus chapter today.