Saint's Prison - Chapter 64

For What Purpose Do We Cross Ourselves?

Holy, holy, holy.

Ah, Lord.

Even if darkness hides you and tries to hinder you.

Even if I can’t see your form.

Past, present, and future, eternal one.

―Only you are the holy one.

***

“Kuro-sama… Are you alright? Your face is pale.”

As I walked through the hallway after leaving the library, Johanna called out to me. It seemed that the Mass had ended. I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I hadn’t heard the sound of the chapel door. I answered without making eye contact.

“Ah, I’m fine.”

Johanna stared at my face intently for a moment, then lowered her eyes as if in thought. Then she immediately grabbed my hand.

“… Kuro-sama, this way.”

“Eh? Wait, Johanna!?”

I was held down with a strong force and couldn’t resist. I was helplessly taken away. Johanna quickly walked through the hallway and pulled me to her room. She closed the door tightly and locked it from the inside.

Without any surprises, my back was pushed, and I was urged to sit on the bed.

“Hey, Johanna!”

“Shh, be quiet. Just stay still.”

As Johanna suppressed my words, she pressed her hand against my temple and slowly massaged it. The warmth of both her hands gradually reached me, and I felt relieved. Johanna’s citrus scent further calmed my mood.

“Are you… a little calmer now?”

“Ah, thank you. Johanna.”

Johanna looked at my condition and smiled softly. Her eyes were gentle like a warm sunbeam.

“… Let’s stay like this for a while.”

“Yeah, I’ll leave it to you.”

In response to her soft tone, I nodded without thinking.

If Amal knew, she would undoubtedly be furious. However, I wanted to cling to this warmth right now.

***

“Actually, I regret it.”

While keeping her hand on my temple, Johanna whispered in a murmur. I tilted my head, not understanding.

“… Regret? About what?”

“About… telling you.”

“… Is it about exploring the past of the monastery?”

Instead of answering, Johanna narrowed her eyes.

“I was naive in my thinking that I shouldn’t have said it if I cared about you.”

“… Johanna?”

“Please, don’t go any further. Don’t get any closer. Don’t look. Don’t talk. Once you’ve realized that… no, once you’ve been noticed, it’s too late.”

“Johanna, what are you talking about? What are you talking about?”

“… I’m sorry.”

Looking at Johanna, who was admonishing herself with those words, I felt an indescribable feeling. What kind of emotions were swirling inside her?

Johanna took her hand off my head.

“… Your face looks better. Now go back to your room and rest for today.”

I tried to say something, but stopped. That’s because Johanna’s gaze rejected any rebuttal.

“I understand. I’ll rest for today.”

“That’s good.”

Johanna smiled gently. Then, she quietly looked up at the ceiling and crossed herself. It looked like she was praying to God, but also like the action of cutting off her neck.

At that moment, I had a vision of Johanna drenched in blood.

Stop it.

My heart is noisy.

Throbbing, as if starving for something.

Thump.

Thump.

Thump.

As if to suppress it, I held my left chest.

I closed my eyes.

And I looked up at the sky that should be invisible, blocked by the ceiling. …I looked up at the sky that should be invisible.

―Sinner.

―Wake up, the night has not yet dawned.

Such a voice echoed in my mind.