Saint's Prison - Chapter 88

A Benevolent Heart

Hold in your hand an empty vessel, and show submission to Mother Kaerula.

Oh, peregrinus, one who has come from the outside.

Fill the vessel with your blood.

――Now, offer new blood.

***

It was a hole.

A gaping hole.

Finding it was truly by chance.

It’s been a month since I arrived at Stonehearst.

Though I said that, to be honest, I’m still not used to everything and can’t hide my anxiety. To distract myself from this gloomy mood, I was leisurely strolling through the monastery grounds under the blue sky.

Walking along the stone walls that encircled the monastery grounds, I found a place where a large deciduous tree grew. For some reason, I was strangely drawn to it, and when I pushed through the bushes behind the tree, I found a hole in the stone wall just big enough for a person to pass through.

“…To think there’s a hole here.”

I felt like I’d made a great discovery. Unjustifiably proud, I let out a smug laugh when no one was watching.

Laughing to myself made me feel incredibly empty. I roughly scratched my head and let out a sigh.

(And what’s beyond this? The monastery walls are high, and I can’t see the outside from here.)

While pondering this, I knelt down and peered into the hole. However, the other side was dark, and I couldn’t see very well. Considering the direction of the sunlight, it was probably just too bright to see. Only the sound of the wind howling could be heard.

After staring into the depths of the hole for a few seconds, I couldn’t bring myself to pass through.

I wasn’t even accustomed to life within the monastery yet; I couldn’t think of recklessly going outside.

I stood up gently, pushed the bushes aside, and returned to the path I came from. Then, without looking back, I resumed my walk.

The low sound of the wind, almost like a growl, lingered in my ears for a while.

***

I had finished my stroll and was walking down the corridor that led to my room in the monastery.

From around the corner, I could hear voices in conversation. I hid myself discreetly and peeked out. No, perhaps there was no need to hide? I thought so after concealing myself, but my body had moved before I could think.

“――Father Benedict. There is still time. Please, grant salvation. He has nothing to do with us from the beginning.”

(Is that… Johanna and Priest Benedict?)

Johanna, with a sharp gaze directed at the silent Priest Benedict, spoke with increased urgency.

“――He is kind and merciful, above all, a benevolent person. He should not be involved.”

“And what of those before? They were also completely unrelated to us. Because they are evil, is it alright to spill their blood, not to be saved? Is that what you are saying?”

“That is…”

Johanna bit her lip hard. Furrowing her brow, she showed a pained expression. Seeing this, Father Benedict let out a shallow sigh and shook his head.

It was definitely not an atmosphere where I could emerge from hiding. It was right to hide. But what on earth were they talking about? For now, I held my breath and listened carefully.

“Ah――forgive me. I have no intention of blaming you. And I am probably the least qualified to do so. I am well aware of that.”

“Then why!”

“Because that is the only path left for us.”

“――Father, do you approve of this?”

Johanna quietly uttered those words. A rough, low voice suppressed with strong emotion filled the space. A sharp, pointed air enveloped the area.

Father Benedict let out a resigned and sorrowful smile. Then, he looked up at the ceiling as if hiding his expression.

“How good it would have been if I could say there was no doubt. I am always covered in sin. That is why I know no other way to live but to cling to God.”

“Father Benedict… However, I…”

“I know. I understand. You have an uncompromising dignity. I will warn you. And even if you choose to leave this place after that, I will never pursue you. Is that acceptable?”

“…I am grateful to you.”

Johanna closed her eyes and made the sign of the cross. Priest Benedict did the same following her.

As if there was nothing more to say, Johanna nodded and then passed by him.

“Ah, you…”

In a barely audible voice, Priest Benedict muttered as if talking to himself.

“…Johanna Scotus. Do not involve yourself too deeply. If you stay here, it will only become harder later. Your benevolent heart will torment you and sear you.”

Johanna stopped and trembled for a moment, but that was all. Without responding to those words or looking back, she disappeared into the dim corridor.

Father  Benedict stood still for a while, continuing to stare down the corridor where she had vanished.