Saint's Prison - Chapter 95

The Unconscious and the Cup.

Walking through the corridor of silence, I reflect upon the dream I had last night.

In the dream, I met Shizuyo in the chapel. The words we exchanged. Her cold hand. Everything I felt.

I continue to walk the corridor.

I’ve lost track of how many rounds I’ve made. It just feels more settling to move than to stand idly.

Why have I started dreaming about Shizuyo since coming here? I can’t find the answer.

I don’t even know if there is an answer. It might be a coincidence. Perhaps there is no meaning at all.

“…Kuro-dono.”

Hearing my name, I slowly turn around. The owner of the voice raises an eyebrow at my absentminded behavior and lets out a small, wry smile.

“Have you come across something while wandering the corridor over and over?”

“Ah, Johanna. I just have some things on my mind.”

“Certainly, there is no place more fitting for contemplation than this corridor of silence. However—”

“It’s unlike you,”

she murmurs, almost hesitantly. Then, as if confirming it to herself, she nods.

“What exactly is troubling you?”

“It’s nothing serious. Just had a bit of a nightmare.”

“I see.”

Johanna lowers her eyes upon my reply, then forces a smile. It’s a smile strained with mixed emotions, restrained by effort.

“If it’s alright… may I hear about the dream you had?”

I hesitate for a moment but decide it’s okay to share with Johanna. In Stonehurst, she is the person I trust the most.

Of course, I trust Amal and Francesco as well. But it’s a matter of the vector. Affection for Amal, friendship with Francesco, and strong trust in Johanna.

“…I dreamt of someone who has passed away.”

“A dream of the deceased?”

“Yeah. They passed away over ten years ago, but I’ve started seeing them frequently in my dreams lately.”

“Do you have any clue why?”

“No…”

I answer shortly.

Johanna nods slightly, “I see.” After a pause, she looks straight at me.

“—It’s because you wish to see them.”

“Because I wish to see them…?”

Indeed, I had thought that.

I wanted to see them again, just one more time.

But that’s something I’ve always thought, even before coming here. Despite my wishes, I couldn’t meet them.

“—No, it’s the opposite. The deceased wishes to see you.”

Her words leave me with an inexplicable expression. Even if that were true, it doesn’t fundamentally answer why Shizuyo has appeared in my dreams now. I place my hand on my cheek, consciously trying to compose my face.

“But the person is gone. Plus, I never had such dreams before. It only started since I came here.”

“That’s exactly why. Listen, Kuro-dono. This place, in a way, is where life and death intersect. Because here, just as it is a world where people live their daily lives, it’s also a separate realm, isolated from the mundane world, like a forest.”

“So you mean to say that Stonehurst is a place where both this world and the otherworld exist simultaneously? That’s why the ambiguous boundary allows the dead to contact the living?”

“Yes. But remember, it’s just one interpretation, not the definitive answer. Perhaps it’s an unconscious desire or suppressed unconscious that has manifested in the form of a dream.”

Unconscious desires and wishes appearing in dreams.

Hearing Johanna’s words, I think of the psychoanalyst Freud.

He believed that humans are aware of only the tip of the iceberg of their minds, just a small part, and defined the unaware part as the unconscious, attempting to analyze it.

I worked in medical administration at a general hospital and tried to learn about the psychiatric field to increase my medical knowledge, but I honestly couldn’t comprehend it and gave up. One of the reasons was that Freud’s dream analysis was intricate and had quite a sexual slant.

According to Freud, sharp objects, rod-shaped objects, protruding things in dreams represent the phallus; bag-like objects that can hold things represent the v*gina; and rooms symbolize the w*mb.

What a wild idea, right?

(…If we consider it in Freud’s terms, the chapel is the womb, the countless candles are the phallus or perhaps sp*rm. Even thinking about it, it’s not funny.)

At that point, I catch myself.

“—She was holding up a cup.”

Shizuyo said that the statue at Stonehurst, with its hands raised to the sky, was “holding a cup.” There was nothing resembling a cup in the statue’s hands. So, where is the cup?

(…Both hands raised. No… that’s not it. There’s meaning in the act of raising both hands itself. That posture might represent the cup. That’s it. The V-line created by thrusting both hands into the sky is the cup.)

The chapel, the cup, they symbolize the w*mb, and the countless candles represent the phallus. What is created by the combination of both is—…

Click, the puzzle pieces fall into place.

The reason for my existence as a stranger, Peregrinus, Amal’s role, the continuation of the dream Shizuyo desired.

“…Kuro-dono, are you okay?”

Johanna blinks worriedly, peering into my face. Overwhelmed by a sense of exhilaration, I hug her tightly and start spinning around.

“Hey, kyaa, Andri… Kuro, Kuro-dono, no, Kuro-dono, no, hyau, what’s, what’s going on, kyaaau!”

“Ahaha, Johanna, you’re the best! Thank you so much!!!”

I spin with all my might.

Johanna lets out a cute scream, and I burst into loud laughter.

Several minutes later, with her hair disheveled by the swirling wind, Johanna gives me a thorough scolding.