The Best Friend of the Person I Like is Secretly Approaching Me - Chapter 16

Chapter 16

It’s getting genuinely cold these days.

When I go outside, I put on a coat and a scarf, and my breath comes out white.

Depending on the day, snow starts to fall, lowering the apparent temperature even further.

But my heart is pounding fiercely, making only my face feel hot.

I’m still not used to it, but I don’t dislike it at all.

In fact, I love it.

“See you tomorrow, Misa!”

“Yes, see you tomorrow.”

Misa and I part ways at an intersection from where the plaza in front of the station decorated with illuminations is visible.

Misa turns right here, and I go straight ahead toward the station.

I walk to the pedestrian crossing in front of the station and stop for about three seconds at the red light… Then I look back and retrace my steps.

I return to the point where I parted ways with Misa, but of course, she’s already gone.

Confirming this, I feel relieved and continue walking.

The sun sets, and it gets even colder.

My fingertips start to freeze and hurt a little.

If I had crossed the pedestrian crossing as planned, I’d probably be on a warm train by now.

But my body doesn’t stop. In fact, I speed up.

As if to say I want to get there quickly.

As if to say I want to see him quickly.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

I return to a certain park and call out to a man sitting on a bench inside.

Slowly lifting his face, he stands up and offers me a can.

“What’s this?”

“I bought it earlier from the vending machine over there. Just holding it warms your hands. Feel free to drink it. I got corn soup this time after learning from the previous time.”

“…Thank you.”

The can he hands me is warm, breathing life back into my chilled hands.

After warming my hands for a while, I sip the contents slowly.

As I savor the sweetness of the corn, I feel warmth spreading from within me.

Recently, Ren has waited here alone after parting ways with me and Misa on our way home.

Since it’s getting colder, he buys warm canned coffee from a nearby vending machine to stay warm while waiting.

The other day, Ren had bought an extra can for me, but I told him I couldn’t drink coffee.

At that time, he said to warm my hands with it, and he ended up drinking the lukewarm coffee himself.

Today, Ren brought a can of corn soup instead of coffee, but I know.

The vending machine he referred to as “over there” doesn’t sell corn soup.

And there’s only one vending machine nearby, so he must have gone a bit out of his way to buy it for me.

I love it.

I think I’ll point that out next time. I feel guilty… but if I do, I guess Ren will start drinking corn soup as well.

Saying something like, “Well, I want to drink this too, by the way.”

Yeah, I’ll say it. I want to see how he covers it up.

I love it.

When I put the can back and glance beside me, I see Ren’s relieved smile as he watches me finish the corn soup.

I love him.

Love. Love. Love. Love. Love. I love him so much——

I love how kind he is.

No one else sees his charm, I don’t even want them to.

I want to keep him to myself.

Especially her; I don’t want her to notice. If she does, this relationship will end.

Because that’s the deal, those are the unspoken rules.

He won’t let me pay for these drinks. He mumbles excuses about it being a form of gratitude, his face a mixture of embarrassment and apology.

I knew our relationship was not equal, and we each had different perceptions of this imbalance.

I’m grateful for the happiness he gives me while constantly tormented by the guilt of deceiving him.

He feels guilty for using me to satisfy his desires, although I don’t think he should.

Because he’s so kind, he can’t be as clear-cut about it as he should.

Once, he suggested ending this relationship.

But I refused, coming up with some illogical reason in my anxiety.

In the worst-case scenario, I might scare him by telling him I’ll tell Misa.

That’s how much I don’t want to lose this fragile, twisted relationship.

I don’t expect this relationship to last forever, and I know it shouldn’t.

But the end of this relationship feels like it would mean the end of our connection, and I can’t help but see it that way.

It’s a double-edged sword.

Even if this relationship ends and he doesn’t start dating Misa, we can never go back to being just friends.

If they do start dating, our relationship will have to be erased, and I’ll become something he doesn’t need.

In a way, I’ve given up on the idea of our relationship progressing.

From the moment we met, he has been infatuated with Misa, telling her he loves her every day.

All that’s left is for Misa to respond, and there’s no room for me to interfere.

That’s why I’ve built this relationship.

——That’s a lie.

Somewhere deep in my heart, I’m hoping.

Hoping that he’ll notice my feelings someday and that he’ll reciprocate my affection.

I actually have my favorite gloves right now. I used to wear them every time I went out during the exam period last year to avoid catching a cold, but now, my hands are exposed to the cold air.

In a whimsical moment, on a whim, just maybe, I’m hoping he’ll take my hand.

——Warm it with his.

That’s why I’m not wearing gloves.

In the end, the only thing warming my hands was the can he gave me.

Still, I’m more than happy.

***

Ren is in my room. To be precise, he’s on my bed, and I’m there too.

Lying on my back with my legs spread apart, I welcome him into me.

At these moments, he always shows a somewhat pained expression that he doesn’t normally reveal.

I wish he would look happier, but there’s also a joy in knowing that this is a look only I get to see, which leaves me with mixed feelings.

The creaking of the bed, his ragged breathing, the sounds of collision and the echoing of my voice throughout the room.

“Mmmn… hhng…”

The voice that slips out of my mouth doesn’t seem like mine.

I can’t hold it back even if I try.

I could muffle it with my hand to avoid being heard, but the more disheveled my voice becomes, the more intense his movements grow, and that pleases me, so I let my arms roam freely.

I’m embarrassed.

It’s embarrassing to have my voice heard, and it’s embarrassing to think he might be looking at whatever expression I have on my face right now, but I don’t want to close my eyes or turn my face away——I want to look at him.

The anguished expression he wears under intense stimulation is so endearing.

I always stare at his face in moments like this.

He seems to prefer this position and never tries any other.

It’s been this way since our first time. I always get to see his face, but sometimes I wish we would try others.

I want to fill all his firsts with me. These are the impulses I’m driven by, but I leave it all up to him.

Because I am just a means of release for him, he never said I couldn’t have a say, but——

There are no two-way arrows between us. It’s a one-way street from me to him, and it’s growing day by day.

When we run into each other at school in the morning, when we chat and laugh about trivial things, when I experience his casual kindness, and when I am here accepting his desires, my feelings for him intensify.

Seizing the moment when his movements slightly slacken, I lift my upper body just a little and wrap my arms around his back.

He looks puzzled.

“Um, Hinata? It’s hard to move… Did it hurt? Was it uncomfortable? Sorry, I might have moved too selfishly.”

“No, it didn’t hurt at all.”

Rather——

“Then, what’s wrong?”

“You like this position, right? Because we’re facing each other?”

“…Yeah, well, something like that.”

He averts his gaze as he answers.

I sense that the real reason is probably different, but this is the answer I wanted for now, so I won’t press further.

“Then, why don’t you collapse onto me like this?”

Saying that, I put strength into my arms and pulled Ren toward me.

“Uh, but…”

“It’s fine. It’ll be easier this way.”

“…Alright.”

Ren nods and slowly leans his body onto me.

In that instant, his scent tickles my nostrils and my head feels light.

His arms come to either side of my face, and I can feel his body heat up as we get closer.

He places his face against the nape of my neck and starts moving.

Instantly, a stronger sensation than before overcomes me.

His breath leaks out close to my ear, melting my brain even more.

Just like this, we spent a fulfilling time together.

At least, I was more than satisfied. I’d like to make this position a ‘must’ from now on.

We’ve been intimate like this several times, but we haven’t done anything else that couples do.

Of course, we’re not a couple. No dates, no kisses.

I’ve indirectly hinted at wanting to kiss, but he declined, giving a rather unsatisfying reason like ‘I don’t think we should do that’.

But I have to be content with the current situation.

I can’t be greedy for more. At least, that’s what I thought until——

“Hey, Hinata.”

Ren, lying next to me and looking at the ceiling, speaks.

“Are you free next Saturday?”

“Um, I don’t think I have any plans.”

“Alright then, how about that day?”

Next Saturday. Come to think of it, that day is——

“Do you want to go out and have fun, just the two of us?”

I volunteered to be the one to satisfy his desires. But he, on the other hand, keeps stirring up my own desires.

…It’s not fair, but——I love it.

***

TN: I don’t know the right word for it, but ‘Next Saturday’ here refers to the Saturday that comes after the upcoming Saturday (The week after next week).

Also, this is the last chapter of part 2.