The Ordinary Me is Worshipped as a Deity by the Extraordinary Them - Chapter 77

Su Li didn’t offer meaningless platitudes. After another sip of warm water, he said, “I just feel disgusted.”

“Disgusted with myself, and disgusted with the sight of dismembered bodies flying everywhere.”

“I’d already seen death in Jisuo Town, but when I personally contributed to it, my heart filled with self-loathing.”

Su Li knew that some emotions weren’t meant to be bottled up. Sometimes, voicing them made things better.

“I realized how truly vile people can be. And I wondered, why me? Why did I have to experience this…?”

Su Li lowered his eyelids. The transparent water in his glass trembled, shaken by his unsteady hand.

Standing on the city wall, he had watched the people Euphia killed meet their end. He had also seen the gushing blood from the pierced throat of the Patriarch.

He had never witnessed such scenes before. He never imagined that combat between humans would be so much more impactful than fighting monster beasts.

Euphia, among the most perceptive of those connected to the small building, likely noticed his discomfort from the lingering scent of blood when she approached him on the wall. Hence, her lighthearted banter.

Others might not have understood, but they readily played along, lightening the mood. Such levity hadn’t been seen since the warmer days, when Euphia first forged an alliance with the Lion’s Club leader, and everyone drank together in the small building.

Su Li wasn’t someone who needed constant reassurance, so he shifted his focus to the enemy’s potential next moves. These thoughts provided a temporary distraction, but his mind inevitably returned to the events.

On the way home, walking along the sparsely populated streets, and the moment he saw the small building… Su Li’s body, under prolonged suppression, finally reacted.

Vomiting was just the most obvious symptom. Su Li even found himself morbidly speculating about the existence of ghosts, wondering if those who died because of him would seek revenge.

He knew these thoughts were pointless and shouldn’t be entertained… but if someone could achieve that level of perfect rationality, Su Li would consider them a god, not a human.

Su Li gripped his glass, draining the remaining water in one gulp. His gaze gradually cleared, and he said calmly, “Don’t worry. Things I can talk about will eventually pass.”

“I’m telling you this so you won’t worry unnecessarily.”

“I’m an ordinary person. I fear death, I fear disaster. But if they truly arrive, after an adjustment period, I believe adapting won’t be too difficult.”

Physical dangers could be mitigated by others’ protection and alchemy tools. But if his spirit broke, that would be truly disastrous.

After a moment of silence, Mark said, “I’ll make some easily digestible food.”

“Cyril, come help.”

The young man beside him looked confused. “But…”

“No buts. Lan Zhe modified the kitchen. I haven’t used it in a long time. If you don’t tell me how to use the things in there, I’ll blow up the kitchen, and I won’t be the only one suffering the consequences.” Mark, uncharacteristically, spoke at length.

Cyril swallowed his protest and silently followed Mark to the kitchen.

Su Li, sitting in the hall, placed his empty glass on the coffee table with extreme care, as if trying to avoid making any sound. This compulsive behavior was clearly abnormal.

But once done, he stood up and walked heavily towards his room on the second floor.

As Su Li passed the raven’s usual perch, he gently scooped up the raven and placed it on the painting.

“You can tell me everything. There’s no need to suffer alone,” the raven said, still in his avian form. He hadn’t shifted into human form because even if he conjured clothes from elements, he would still appear naked in Su Li’s eyes. Thus, he remained in the shape of a raven, speaking human words.

“I’m not as fragile as you think.” Su Li paused, then poked the raven’s black head.

The raven’s feathers were soft, its eyes gleaming. It was undeniably a handsome Mr. Raven.

“I just think that such a sudden reaction, if not properly addressed, could lead to complications and illness.”

“I’m just going upstairs to get some clothes.” Su Li even offered a deliberate explanation.

When the raven fell silent and didn’t continue, Su Li assumed his explanation had sufficed. But the raven saw the red ring Euphia had made still on Su Li’s finger, its temperature eternally constant. So how could he suddenly feel cold and need more clothes?

For the first time, the raven felt a pang of heartache. Unlike the others in the small building, who had their own speculations about Su Li’s past, the ninth-level monster beast simply saw him as a fledgling.

And fledglings had the right to refuse things they didn’t want.

But Su Li wouldn’t refuse.

The raven felt a knot in his stomach.

However, Su Li, upstairs, was exactly as he said, simply adding a few layers of clothing. His candid expression of his thoughts meant he would overcome this hurdle.

Burying his thoughts and not sharing them, perhaps to avoid burdening others with negativity, was a sign of social grace. But when sharing wasn’t about venting negativity, but about processing and escaping a certain state of mind, then communication became a form of self-encouragement.

So even if his body temperature was normal, to prevent illness and avoid complications for the upcoming conflict, Su Li would consciously regulate his temperature.

After all, wearing extra clothes would only lead to sweating, easily remedied with a bath. Illness, however, would be a much more protracted problem.

But those downstairs didn’t see it that way.

For example, Cyril, washing vegetables in the kitchen sink at this moment, asked Mark in a muffled voice, “Why did you stop me from continuing?”

“What would you have said? Continued analyzing Su Li’s already exposed psychological trauma? Or offered meaningless platitudes?” Mark rinsed rice as he spoke. He planned to make porridge.

“Don’t forget, just now, you didn’t even know what to do without Su Li’s instructions.” Mark turned to look at the faint scales on Cyril’s face, a flicker of revulsion rising within him before being quickly suppressed.

Mark rarely expressed himself. In the small building, he was mostly a transparent handyman, neither overly involved nor completely detached. He deliberately maintained this state.

But if anyone in the small building could create a quiet personal space for Su Li, it was Mark.

Others, out of concern, would inadvertently stifle Su Li’s opportunity to process his emotions.

Mark wouldn’t. “Strength doesn’t determine mental fortitude. For people like us, our primary concern is Su Li’s safety. Our role is to create a safe space for him to express himself. As for his emotional state, instead of chattering, it’s better to give him space.”

“Unnecessary words become a burden. The gap between those with strength and those with intellect cannot be bridged by presumptuousness.”

Cyril wanted to retort, “That’s too harsh!”

But he knew Mark was right.

If Su Li couldn’t sort out his own feelings, others’ comfort would be superfluous.

A long silence followed. Only when the rice porridge began to bubble did Cyril ask again, “So, why is Su Li like this?”

“I can’t answer that question.” Mark stirred the rice in the pot with a spoon. He was silent for a moment, making sure the porridge wouldn’t burn, then put the lid back on before replying, “For people like you and me, born at the bottom, accepting all kinds of cruelty can be explained by the fact that we’ve seen too much. But the upper class, like the others in the small building, can mostly be said to have inflicted too much, so they wouldn’t feel uncomfortable with that scene either.”

“Therefore, I can’t determine the reason for these things that are tormenting Su Li’s state of mind.”

Mark calmly admitted his inability to answer.

Cyril was silent for a moment. He scooped the chopped vegetables with the kitchen knife, poured them into the rice porridge pot, and then asked, “If I ask Su Li during dinner later, will you still stop me?”

“No.” Mark reached up and retrieved three bowls and a small plate from the high kitchen cabinet.

Just as Su Li habitually extrapolated from existing information, those around him were gradually learning the same skill as well.

Mark thought to himself: If Su Li gives us the answers we want, then it’s not a big problem. If he avoids the question, it means it’s something he doesn’t want us to know.

But Mark didn’t expect that Su Li, wearing a jacket and still slightly trembling as he ate his porridge, would give an answer completely different from his prediction.

“The reason for my distress? There are too many, so let me pick two that are easier to understand.” Su Li had completely recovered from his earlier state.

“I can’t stand the sight of blood, and I don’t want to see humans fighting amongst themselves. I see it as utterly superfluous, useless, and even an impediment to progress, a foolish act.”

“So, in my opinion, the ‘correct’ way is for there to be no bloodshed, no humans harming each other.”

Su Li, steadfast in his beliefs, might compromise due to reality, but that didn’t mean he had to abandon his principles.

Just as he always believed that the world was the problem, not him.

Cyril gaped.

Sensing his stunned gaze, Mark returned to his usual taciturnity, as if nothing had happened, and took a sip of porridge.

Cyril: “…”

Perhaps finding the scene amusing, Su Li put down his empty bowl and chopsticks. His expression was serene, his eyes carrying a hint of amusement. “People like me tend to be shameless.”

“Since I’m dissatisfied with this world, I won’t blame myself for its flaws. I’ll only curse it for being so terrible. Curse it for forcing someone like me, a rule-abiding person who only resorts to shamelessness when absolutely necessary… to become despicable.”

“After dinner, please have the raven inform those at the city wall that the enemy is likely aware of my existence. Tell them to watch for the arrival of the enemy commander. As soon as they arrive, inform me.”

—If you’ve got what it takes, then come and try. Let’s see who can play the game of assassinating each other’s key figures better.