Thousand Dusts Ferry Me - Chapter 1

“What did you say? Not even one dou of grain?!”

(TL: “一斗” (yī dǒu) is a unit of measurement in ancient China, typically referring to a “dou” (斗), which is about 10 liters (or roughly 9-10 kilograms of grain, depending on type)

“Forget one dou, they won’t even give a single grain!”

“I don’t believe it! We raised this girl with so much effort, spent who knows how much on food and firewood. In the past, she would’ve fetched at least one guan of money. It’s just because times are bad now, otherwise—”

(TL: “贯” (guàn) refers to an ancient Chinese currency unit; a string of copper coins strung together through the center hole.)

“You know times are bad. That merchant said it clearly today: there are too many people selling their children now. For someone Hongniang’s age, they’d have to provide food to raise her, so they simply won’t take her.”

“I knew she was just a money-losing burden!”

“You old shrew! Keep your voice down, don’t wake the children!”

In the unlit room, by the moonlight streaming through the window, two children could be seen lying on the bed. One was still an infant, while the other, around three or four years old, was the “Hongniang” everyone spoke of.

Hongniang was sleeping soundly, undisturbed by the noise. A thin woman sat facing the two children, silently listening to the conversation in the next room. Her husband and in-laws were discussing how to sell her daughter.

When she heard that her daughter was worthless, this mother breathed a sigh of relief and wiped her eyes with her sleeve.

At this point, Hongniang’s grandmother—an almost toothless old woman who spoke with a whistle—said, “So what do we do now? We can’t give her away, can’t sell her, and I absolutely refuse to keep feeding this money-losing burden!”

“Let me think,” said Hongniang’s grandfather—the old man who had just called his wife a shrew. Judging by his voice, he too must have barely had any teeth left.

After pondering for a moment, the old man said, “Tomorrow, take Hongniang up the mountain to gather wild vegetables… then say she fell down the mountain and died. We can bring the village elders to search at the foot of the mountain as witnesses.”

The woman sitting in the inner room heard this and immediately got out of bed. Without bothering to put on shoes, she rushed to the outer room and fell to her knees, repeatedly kowtowing. Her forehead made dull thuds as it hit the ground, and she pleaded.

“Father, Mother! Please, give Hongniang a chance to live! She’s so small, she barely eats anything, she’s easy to raise! She’ll grow up soon and be able to work, she’ll repay us!

I, I can eat less, I’ll only eat wild vegetables from now on, I promise I won’t touch a single grain of rice!”

Her husband—the only relatively strong person in the family—stood by the doorframe. Hearing this, he seemed to waver, his shadow shifting as he was about to speak.

The old woman was quicker. “You’ll starve? If you lose your milk, what will my grandson eat?”

The old man tilted his head back and sighed, “You think I feel good about this? Heaven wants to end us, what can I do?

A few years ago, during the great drought, three out of ten people died. Our village only survived because we’re near the Fulong River, and that was just luck.

We’ve barely recovered these past few years, and now this year, it rains every few days, the newly sprouted grain is rotting at the roots, and who knows how we’ll survive the days ahead!

No matter how many times you kowtow, you can’t create a single grain of rice. When there’s not enough food, there’s not enough food. Do you want to starve your daughter or your son? Fine, you choose.”

“I—”

Before the woman could speak, her husband became agitated, “How can we let Dalang starve? Our family has only had one son for nine generations, and he’s our only hope! I don’t care, if you dare let my son starve, I’ll sell you to a brothel!”

The woman could only say, “Even so, why not leave Hongniang at the door of some noble family in the city? She might have a chance to live…”

“You think you’re the only one who thought of that? Too many people are abandoning children at noble houses’ doors, how many can they take in? Today we saw wild dogs eating an infant outside a noble’s house, do you want Hongniang to be eaten by wild dogs?”

The woman shook her head in despair.

“Besides, if people find out we abandoned Hongniang, they’ll point fingers at us. Once our reputation is ruined, how can our family stay in the village? Dalang won’t even be able to find a wife in the future!

I’m thinking of our family’s reputation, otherwise wouldn’t it be simpler to just strangle her? Don’t be ungrateful.”

“But…”

“Enough, this is her fate.”

Hearing the sobbing, the old woman said impatiently, “Cry, cry, all you do is cry, you’ve cried our family into poverty!”

****

It felt like a dream to Hongniang.

Early that morning, after her mother carefully dressed her and washed her face, she used her own hair tie to make two buns in Hongniang’s hair—something unusual, as Hongniang usually wore her hair loose.

As Hongniang was admiring herself happily in the water basin, her mother came over and pressed a boiled egg into her hand.

An egg! The clean, round shell was faintly pink, and though it hadn’t been cracked open yet, she could already imagine its unique fragrance. She had never eaten an egg before!

The egg had been boiled recently and was still hot enough to burn her hands, but Hongniang refused to let go. She asked, “Mother, where did you get the egg?”

“Traded it with the village head.”

Hongniang swallowed three times before finally trying to return the egg to her mother. “Mother, you eat it.”

“You eat it. I traded for several, we each get one, this one is yours.”

Hongniang became happy then, jumping around with the egg, but suddenly asked worriedly, “Will Grandmother be angry?”

“Don’t worry, I traded it with my dowry items, eat it without worry.”

“Mm!”

Hongniang couldn’t bear to eat this heavenly delicacy right away. She played with the egg in her hands, hiding it in her sleeve one moment, holding it up to the sky the next, then laughing, “Mother, look, an egg!”

The woman looked down and saw the tiny red birthmark on Hongniang’s forehead, as small as a sesame seed. The mark was vibrantly red, looking somewhat out of place on Hongniang’s thin, sallow face.

The woman suddenly remembered the night she gave birth to Hongniang. That night, she had dreamed of a rainbow light falling into her belly, and she had awakened to go into labor.

When she told others about this dream, everyone said the child must have an extraordinary destiny. She was so delighted that she named her daughter Hongniang (Rainbow Girl). While other families simply named their daughters “First Girl,” “Second Girl,” or “Third Girl,” only her daughter had such a special name, making her seem precious.

“Mother, are you crying?” Hongniang asked uncertainly.

“No,” the woman wiped away her tears, “Mother is happy, yes, happy to eat eggs today.” The tears came faster as she wiped them, and the woman stumbled into the house, covering her mouth as she sobbed.

Hongniang jumped around calling, “Mother, I’m very happy too!”

The old woman came over with a basket on her back, “Hongniang, come, Grandmother will take you up the mountain to gather wild vegetables.”

Hongniang immediately fell silent. She had always been afraid of her grandmother.

The old woman looked at the egg in Hongniang’s hand and twisted her mouth. Her daughter-in-law had traded her few worthless dowry items for this egg, fearing she would complain. Pah, why should this money-losing burden eat such good things!

The old woman wanted to snatch the egg away but worried that if Hongniang died without eating well, she might become a vengeful ghost, so she let it be.

Hongniang followed her grandmother up the mountain. Along the way, villagers they met all sighed at how fortunate Hongniang was, with her unique name, her hair done up in buns, and an egg to eat.

The old woman led Hongniang up the mountain and deliberately left her near a steep cliff while gathering wild vegetables, watching Hongniang all the while.

Seeing that Hongniang wouldn’t go near the cliff’s edge, only squatting on the ground pulling up wild vegetables she recognized, the old woman couldn’t help saying, “Hongniang, look, there’s a grasshopper, catch it and I’ll roast it for you to eat.”

“Where?” Hongniang got excited at the mention of roasted grasshopper.

“There, there, see it?”

Hongniang followed her grandmother’s direction, step by step approaching the cliff edge. “Where is it?”

The old woman quietly approached behind her, suddenly turning fierce as she kicked out! The tiny body was kicked flying.

“Ah!”

Hongniang’s cry came from beyond the cliff, followed by a dull thud when she hit the ground.

“Hongniang? Hongniang?” The old woman called twice from the cliff edge, but there was no response—surely she was dead. Pretending to be panic-stricken, she cried out, “Help! Someone’s dead! My Hongniang, my darling!” Crying and shouting as she ran down the mountain.

****

The old woman ran home, frantically telling everyone that Hongniang had fallen from the cliff. Soon, the men “heard the news” and rushed back from the fields, and the household put on a show of chaos.

The old man gathered several neighbors to search the mountain, with the old woman leading the way. After walking for about half an hour, they reached the bottom of the cliff.

The villagers called out one after another, “Hongniang—Hongniang—”

Suddenly someone shouted loudly, “Over here!”

Everyone hurried over. Those who arrived first saw what was on the ground and their expressions turned strange.

The old woman’s face was full of anxiety as she pushed through the crowd, “Hongniang, my Hongniang, you died so—” Her expression froze.

Hongniang was sitting perfectly fine on the ground, eating the egg in small bites, with egg yolk still around her mouth. Seeing everyone looking at her, she looked back, her dark eyes sweeping across them before finally settling on her grandmother.

The old woman suddenly broke out in cold sweat.

The old man asked, “Hongniang, are you alright?”

The old woman only came to her senses when she heard this question. She ran over to hug Hongniang, putting on a show of crying, then examined Hongniang’s body.

Falling from such a height, yet not a single injury, not even a scratch.

The old woman’s hair stood on end and her legs went weak, though everyone thought she was just overwhelmed with emotion.

Finally, the old man carried Hongniang home with a heavy heart.

****

Hongniang burrowed into her mother’s embrace and whispered in her ear. “Mother, Grandmother pushed me down, Grandmother wanted to kill me. I’m scared to tell anyone else.”

The woman held her tightly, “Hongniang, Hongniang, don’t be afraid.”

Meanwhile, the old man dragged the old woman into the firewood shed and slapped her twice, “You old fool, you can’t even handle this simple task?”

“No, I’ve been wronged! That dead girl, there’s something strange about her!” The old woman had been frightened the whole way back, and now spilled everything that had happened, then asked, “Hongniang… could she be a monster?”

The old man frowned deeply and said, “Who cares what she is, there’s no turning back now, we must finish her off tonight.

We’ve already made it public during the day, so we’ll kill her and bury her tonight, then tomorrow we’ll say Hongniang had internal injuries from the fall and suddenly died coughing blood in the night.”

“That makes sense.”

Ever since returning from the mountain, Hongniang had been clinging to her mother, not daring to leave her side for even a moment. At night, she was too scared to sleep and kept trying to talk to her mother.

The old man in the outer room listened to their movements. He had planned to act when Hongniang fell asleep, but seeing that she wouldn’t sleep, he impatiently told his son, “You go do it.”

The man walked toward Hongniang carrying a hemp rope. Hongniang felt a wave of fear and burrowed into her mother’s embrace. The man pulled her out.

“Mother, Mother—” Hongniang cried in fear, reaching toward her mother.

But her mother turned away, her back to her.

Looking at her mother’s trembling back in the moonlight, Hongniang suddenly understood.

It wasn’t just Grandmother who wanted to kill her. It was Grandfather, Grandmother, Father, Mother…..they all wanted to kill her.

The man dragged Hongniang to the outer room, wrapped the hemp rope around her neck, gritted his teeth, and pulled tight. Hongniang’s limbs struggled violently, but even after maintaining this position for the time it takes to burn an incense stick, she was still struggling.

The old woman’s voice trembled. “What’s happening, why is she still moving?!”

“Useless thing!” The old man shoved his son aside and took over, forcefully strangling Hongniang. Being young, Hongniang gradually lost the strength to struggle. The old man breathed a sigh of relief and loosened the rope.

“Cough, cough, cough…” Hongniang burst into violent coughing.

The old woman collapsed to the ground in fear, crying out, “Monster, she really is a monster!”

The man was also terrified, stammering, “F-father, what do we d-do now? H-Hongniang can’t be k-killed!”

The old man maintained his composure on the surface, though he too was deeply unsettled. He went outside and returned moments later carrying a stone pestle.

The old man raised the pestle and brought it down hard on Hongniang’s head!

Bang!

Any normal four-year-old child would have had their skull crushed by such a blow from a stone pestle. Hongniang merely tilted her head to the side.

“She really is a monster, a monster…” The man sat on the ground, a wet warmth spreading between his legs.

The old woman had already fainted from fright.

The old man was also at his wit’s end. Only one thought remained in his mind now: make this monster disappear, by any means necessary. Disappear, yes, take her away, far, far away!

The old man stuffed a bundle of dry grass into Hongniang’s mouth, bound her hands and feet with hemp rope, and carried her out.

Outside was very quiet, with occasional dog barks. The full moon hung high over the mountain peak, its light guiding him westward for about an hour until they reached the Fulong River.

The river waters roared and surged like a great beast. The old man stood at the riverbank and threw Hongniang forcefully toward the water.

In the midst of the world turning upside down, Hongniang saw the high-hanging moon. White, cold, pure, like an eye, dispassionately watching the countless wounds upon this land.

The tiny figure was quickly swallowed by the roaring great beast.