What If You Spoil a High School Girl Who Looks Like a Landmine? - Volume 1 Chapter 5.3

The Real Thing 3

『It’s the opposite. It’s not ‘despite being raised in a stable home, you’re not stable.’ It’s ‘because you’re not stable, our family could be stable.’!』

“…?”

I don’t get it. Then my sister groans, ‘Hmm~…seriously…’

『Think about it, Mom and Dad are workaholics, right? They’re not working desperately because we’re short on money; they work because they want to, it’s because they love their jobs.』

“Y- yes…”

『Then, Shion and I are also putting our lives into skating. Sure, now Dad has finally taken a break, but at least when we were in Japan, Dad, Mom, Shion, and I all had to pour our whole hearts into what we wanted to do. If it was just the four of us, do you think such a family could have survived?』

Kanon said quietly.

『We wouldn’t have had the time to deal with daily life or the luxury to support anyone else; all four of us were like that. A family like that would have fallen apart, right? Something would have broken… but it didn’t. Why?』

“That’s…”

『It’s because there was someone different in the family. Someone who from grade school did housework and took care of us, and instead of being exhausted, seemed to be energized by it. Absolutely not a normal person.』

“…Kanon.”

『It’s thanks to Onee-chan that the Raihara family usually gets along so well and even has time to go out occasionally. Because Onee-chan is not ‘stable,’ we could be a stable family.』

“…”

Is that so…but…

“…but it’s not like I’m a good person. I’m just…”

『I didn’t say you were a good person. I’m not saying Onee-chan is a saint; not at all. You’re very kind, but that doesn’t mean you’re a righteous person. Your altruism is selfish in its own way.』

“…Yes.”

『For better or worse, your love for taking care of people is based on desire. You do it simply because you want to.』

I have no words to respond to my keen-eyed sister’s spot-on commentary.

『Like when you were overly enthusiastic as a manager in middle school and nearly destroyed the club, that was an example of your flaws.』

“That’s why I want to become normal…”

『That’s impossible.』

Kanon cut me off bluntly.

『I’ve thought it was impossible since I heard you were practicing to become more reliant on others. Even if you learn to rely on people a little, you’ll just develop issues somewhere else.』

“….”

I’m breathless at how unerringly accurate her insights continue to be.

In reality, that’s exactly what happened.

After learning to rely just a little on that person and becoming drawn by his kindness, I eventually overstepped, uncovering things I wasn’t aware of and was blown away by the explosion of issues.

In the end, I haven’t become ‘normal’ in any overarching sense.

『Wanting to become a ‘normal’ person is impossible. Shion and I often say this, but Onee-chan, you’re essentially a monster.』

“….Huh, what?”

What did you say?

“I mean, I was born to the same mother as you and Kanon, so…”

『Yeah, you just happened to be born from a human, that’s all.』

“Kanon, do you realize what you’re saying…?”

『I don’t have to explain it, do I? You understand how Shion and I feel, right? We’ve always been worried that Onee-chan will collapse one day because you get more energetic the busier you are. No matter how selfish we are, you just keep smiling and being kind—it’s actually kind of scary.』

“…What?”

『No, really, even in interviews when they ask us, ‘Who are you most grateful to?’ we always answer, ‘Our sister,’ and we mean it 100%. We don’t think there’s anything wrong with that; we’re grateful and love you very much. But at the same time, being perpetually kind is scary!』

Kanon continued, expressing how even my joyful smile gives them the creeps.

My smile when I’m extremely happy is popular among my siblings for its eerie quality.

『But once I started thinking, ‘Ah, so that’s the kind of Monster she is,’ it felt incredibly fitting. You just happened to be born from a human; fundamentally, you’re a Monster.』

“M-Monster…?”

『So, what if you also start thinking that way, Onee-chan?』

Kanon suggested, addressing my long-standing anxiety about becoming a ‘normal’ person.

…Thinking of myself as a Monster is something I’d never considered.

『In fact, be it a Monster, a supernatural being, an anomaly, or a strange person, whatever the word may be, it doesn’t matter. You’ve even said it yourself, right? ‘I’ve been like this since I was born.’ Then you already know you were born as such a creature.』

“…..”

That… it might be true.

Deep down, I felt no discomfort with what Kanon was saying.

Because when it was pointed out to me, it made perfect sense.

It explains both my old self and the new person I’ve become since falling in love with Chifuji-san.

“…Monster…that kind of creature.”

How fitting that feels.

If I had known this way of thinking before meeting Chifuji-san, I don’t think I would have been as drawn to it as much.

It wouldn’t have resonated as deeply, and it wouldn’t have fit so perfectly.

But for who I am now… it feels incredibly sweet.

“…still.”

And so, to me who hesitated to take the leap, Kanon said,

『Consider this a proposal from one human who has been protected by such a Monster all this time.』

“Kanon…”

『There are things that ordinary humans can’t do, but a Monster can, and that’s what appealed to the Raihara family. I don’t know about Chifuji-san, though.』

“Ah…”

『What’s wrong?』

“…No, it’s nothing. Haha.”

Something came to mind. The conversation about the manager’s favorite movie.

How much, and for how long, had that person seen through me?

——There are things that only a Monster can do.

It’s a role that can’t be performed otherwise.

In that case….if that’s the case,

“…”

『Onee-chan?』

I know it’s a convenient way of thinking. But still…but still…

——At this moment, I hear the sound of chains breaking, over and over.

Inside me, the chains that I had wrapped around myself were tearing apart.

If I am a Monster, then——

In that case, then——

『…Hey, but don’t go overboard, okay? Since forever, when Onee-chan decides to do something, you go all out, and that worries me. Like suddenly dyeing your hair, or becoming a stalker. You’re so extreme.』

“Maybe so, ahaha.”

I didn’t say I won’t though.

Sorry, Kanon.