A Yandere Who Can Turn Back Time Confesses to Me Until She Succeeds - Chapter 19

Past ②

I began dating Amamiya-san, ushering in days of happiness.

However, that happiness did not last long.

As I mentioned earlier, I had always avoided romance until now.

There were two main reasons for this.

First, I had never truly fallen in love with anyone.

Second, I was attuned to the atmosphere around me.

Not to brag, but I have good looks.

On top of that, I held a high status within my class.

Even during high school, when I preferred solitude, I was popular.

During middle school, when I actively engaged with everyone and held a high position in the social hierarchy, I was confessed to on a daily basis.

That was the environment I was in.

If I were to date anyone who confessed to me, it would create tension.

I quickly understood this, even as a middle school student.

So, I didn’t date anyone and treated everyone equally. I believed this was the process to lead a peaceful school life.

That’s the reason I avoided romance.

However, after meeting Amamiya-san, it was different.

I genuinely fell in love with her.

I had long forgotten why I had avoided romance.

And having a wide circle of friends; without realizing it, my relationship with Amamiya-san had been brought to light.

My male friends congratulated me.

Though some asked if I was sure about choosing such a plain girl, the majority of the feedback was positive.

However, not everyone was pleased.

“…How did you get close to Yuzuru? Don’t you realize you’re not a match? Can’t you just break up already?”

I found out my female friends were confronting Amamiya-san about a month into our relationship.

“I’m sorry… I’ll sternly tell them not to do that again.”

“No… It’s totally fine. Please don’t worry about it.”

I had forgotten about the environment I was in.

More than the average person, I easily received affection.

No, I had created such an environment myself.

I actively engaged with everyone, regardless of gender, building a broad network of friends.

I had been doing this since I was young.

Getting along with everyone earned praise from adults.

If I acted as a ‘lubricant’, things went smoothly around me.

I was able to enjoy my student life without any inconveniences.

However, there was a downside to what I was doing.

It was the inability to get close to someone specific.

Especially towards girls, this was prominent.

If I treated someone even slightly special, that person would be alienated by those around me.

It was a common occurrence.

Despite that, I prioritized my feelings and even went as far as making Amamiya-san my girlfriend.

It was my fault—because of my presence—because I acted selfishly—that she was hurt.

“If anything happens again, tell me right away. And if you have any troubles, anything at all, you can tell me. I’ll do everything I can to help you.”

“Thank you. But it’s my fault. If I were brighter and cuter, they would’ve accepted me….”

“That’s not true. It’s not like that.”

“But…”

From this point, a slight distortion began to emerge.

The time I spent with Amamiya-san was happy.

There’s no doubt about that.

However, my presence led to her getting hurt.

I couldn’t bear that fact.

In reality, she continued to face criticism from my female friends and was even subjected to near-violent behaviour.

I couldn’t always be by her side.

Even when I told those around me to stop, it had little effect.

Despite being in such an environment, she continued to be with me.

All the more, my sense of guilt grew day by day.

I am the root cause of this current situation.

I am causing Amamiya-san pain.

It would be better if I were gone from this situation.

Such thoughts had taken root in my mind.

Gradually, I began to avoid contact with Amamiya-san.

Originally, we never met outside of the library.

She wasn’t good at moving around and didn’t have a cellphone, so there was no way to contact her.

Our connection was only through the library.

Therefore, if I didn’t go to the library, I couldn’t see her.

Intentionally, days passed without a meeting, and the distance between us grew.

I told those around me that I had broken up with Amamiya-san.

Honestly… I think I was the worst.

Naturally, those words reached Amamiya-san’s ears.

It must have been one of my female friends who informed her.

“I see, we broke up at some point…”

The words from her, whom I met after a long time, carried such melancholy.

I wanted to deny it, to say it wasn’t true.

But instead, I simply nodded.

“I’m sorry…Really, I’m sorry.”

With that apology, I stopped visiting the library.

After breaking up with Amamiya-san, I was once again approached by the girls around me.

Everything… just became bothersome to me.

Had I been isolated from those around me, would I still be with Amamiya-san without any issues?

It’s a meaningless thought, but I couldn’t help but think like that.

It was around this time that I began to find social interactions bothersome.

And then, an incident occurred.

A stabbing incident was caused by a female junior high student from the neighbouring school.

Amamiya-san had stabbed one of my classmates with a knife over and over.

“Annoying, annoying… Annoying, annoying, annoying… It’s because of you all that I broke up with Yuzuru-kun! If it weren’t for you… we wouldn’t have broken up. …Annoying, annoying, annoying, annoying, annoying——”

I’m not sure if my female friends provoked Amamiya-san or if Amamiya-san, understanding the reason for our breakup, took revenge.

I don’t know the details.

But I heard that she had been sent to a juvenile detention center for attempted murder.

After that incident, my contact with Amamiya-san completely ceased.

I don’t even know where she is now. It’s truly hopeless.

Someone like me can’t make anyone happy by being in a relationship.

I’ve only brought unhappiness to those around me. My existence is just a burden.

It’s better for me not to be involved with anyone.

It didn’t take me long to come to that conclusion.

That’s why I began to prefer being alone.

Naturally, someone like me has no intention of dating anyone.

After all, after the incident with Amamiya-san, I am weary of the very idea of dating.

And that’s the reason why I won’t date Sakurazaka-san.