I Will Inspire Your Insipid Days - Volume 1 Chapter 2.6

Finding

“──I kinda wish we lived in a world where people who take their love for something and turn it into something creative are recognized, you know?… That’s what I find myself thinking about,” she confessed.

Komachi-san likely isn’t looking for sympathy, I thought.

Not sympathy, nor guidance.

Then what exactly is she seeking?

“See, I think in order to create something good, you need to be exposed to good things. That’s why I try to experience all sorts of arts and entertainment. Visiting art galleries, checking out bands I’ve never heard of, going to design exhibitions. Even starting a part-time job at a theater was because I thought I could sneak a peek at the stage during breaks and maybe get some inspiration from it. Simple, right? But now, my head is just filled with all this knowledge that I don’t know what to do with.”

Without waiting for a response, Komachi-san continued in a tone like she was convincing herself.

“That’s why I’m here today, even using up my holiday to come to this gallery. Well, the main reason was that I wanted to see Natsume’s works with my own eyes… But, man, I’m just not cut out for this. Being confronted with such overwhelming talent, it feels like I’m being crushed, and it’s suffocating. Maybe I’m compatible with Natsume’s style, but…”

She let out a weak laugh.

“Komachi-san, you’re really smart,” I said.

Expressing an objective opinion. That was the conclusion I had come to.

“From your story, it seems to me that you’re someone who can look at things from a broader perspective. That’s why you feel conflicted. You have a fixed idea of what the people who put their work out into the world should be like, of what the world should be like, and you struggle because you feel you don’t fit into that image.”

“It’s a bit embarrassing to hear it said out loud, but I guess that’s it.”

Hmm, she nodded with a puzzled look, so I spoke up.

“Isn’t that a strength of yours?”

“A strength?”

She looked at me with a puzzled expression, and I replied.

“You have the ability to objectively see things for what they are, right?”

“I’m not sure what you mean by that.”

“To be honest… I lack experience. I don’t know how to face Komachi-san’s troubles. How to achieve a result that would make Komachi-san satisfied…”

“That’s so. Sorry for bringing up such a troublesome topic.”

“But, I have a suggestion.”

I paused there, waiting for her reaction.

I could tell Komachi-san was eager to hear more.

“Could you come to the consultation room after school on Monday? It’s the one at the back of the teacher’s office, with the heavy soundproof door.”

“…What’s that supposed to mean…?”

“In times like these, you should rely on adults. Specifically, adults who have been closely observing us. That is…”

“That is…? Who are you talking about…?”

“A tyrannical, wickedly young-hearted, queenly, unrestrained female teacher.”

“Who the heck is that!?”

***

Leaving the café as the day began to fade and the crowds grew larger, we took the train back to the dormitory, talking all the way. Without realizing it, I found myself enjoying the conversation with Komachi-san.

When we got back to our room, Natsume-san was wrapped in her futon, sound asleep in her bed. Her desk was scattered with unfinished sketches, and the room was in disarray, showing she’d collapsed into bed like a string puppet whose strings had been cut. Natsume-san didn’t wake up until the next day. She’s like a motor that keeps going until the battery dies, stopping abruptly without any warning.

I once asked Satsuki-san why the “consultation room” had such a heavy soundproof door. Her answer was straightforward: “Our school is special, you know? We need a place where we can talk about things that shouldn’t be overheard by others.” That’s when I understood why Satsuki-san would call me out of the blue for a chat.

Turning the heavy lever and stepping inside, Satsuki-san was already waiting. Her leisurely demeanor was a far cry from the sharp look she had in class, prompting Komachi-san to exclaim, “Eh…?”

“Satsuki-san, as I mentioned yesterday, I brought Komachi-san here.”

“I can see that. Just sit anywhere. Want some tea?”

“As if you’d make it yourself.”

“Someone always ends up kindly doing it for me, you know?”

I turned back to the confused Komachi-san and began to speak.

“I have it on good authority that ‘listening to students’ concerns is also a respectable part of a teacher’s job.’ So, allow me to introduce her properly. This is our homeroom teacher, Hanabishi-sensei.”

“I know, but… not like this…”

“This is her usual demeanor when students aren’t around, believe it or not.”

“Did you just refer to your homeroom teacher as ‘this’!?”

Satsuki-sensei’s dignity as an adult vanished as she raised her voice in emotion. To the other students, she’s the “cool older sister,” but it’s funny how that works.

Now, I’m not the main character here.

Encouraging her to speak, Satsuki-sensei responded.

“So, Komachi. I’ve heard most of the story, but if you have anything you want to say, feel free to spill it. It’s soundproof here, so even if you scream, no one outside will hear.”

“…Ah, no, it’s just that this is all so sudden for me.”

Satsuki-sensei smiled gently at Komachi-san, who looked downcast.

“First of all, thank you for consulting me. Sorry for not noticing sooner.”

Then Komachi-san, still in the same posture, squeezed out her words.

“I wonder if I’m just not suited for this school…”

“That’s nonsense.”

Satsuki-sensei’s immediate reply made Komachi-san look up in surprise.

“There’s no such thing as a student who doesn’t fit in at Shumonzuka. Because this place, while it does end up producing a lot of creators, is fundamentally based on a different principle.”

“A different… principle…?”

“Observing the potential of students. That’s our principle.”

In response to Komachi-san’s strained voice, Satsuki-sensei spoke firmly.

“This school specializes in supporting students’ talents. Of course, what the students aim for is most important, but that’s the same for any school. There are students who leave because they feel a gap in ability with others, or because what they aspire to doesn’t match their own qualities, but that can happen in any school.”

“…So, was I just too naïve?”

“What are you talking about? It’s normal to be naïve. After all, how can students foresee what even adults can’t? What matters is that when you hit a wall, you think about solutions and ways to move forward, and the school supports you in that.”

Hearing those words, Komachi-san blinked.

“Honestly, I’m surprised. I thought Hanabishi-sensei wasn’t very interested in students.”

“Do I seem that way? Well, that’s because I make it look that way.”

“…For what purpose?”

“Once you’re in high school, you’re no longer in compulsory education. In ordinary schools, teachers still interfere with students to some extent. But that won’t do at Shumonzuka. We need to let students think for themselves, let them struggle, and let them find their own answers──however, on the other hand.”

Satsuki-sensei paused for a moment, straightening her posture.

“If a student is struggling, we teachers must be a receptacle for their concerns. Not just me. All teachers at Shumonzuka take this stance. Otherwise, you can’t be a teacher at this school. Strange school, right?”

Hearing that, Komachi-san twisted her mouth into a smile as she strained to speak.

“──For Harvest Festival… I don’t know what to submit.” (tln : i was unsure how to translate it, so i changed hogan? houfumi sai to Harvest Festival since the meaning is harvest festival)

“Don’t think too hard about it.”

“But I can’t help it. I’m just an ordinary person at this school. I don’t receive divine inspiration, nor do I have the skills to materialize what comes to mind… And, I still feel envious.”

“Wouldn’t it be unhealthy not to feel envious? It’s a common emotion.”

“I don’t care if it’s unhealthy. Otherwise, I’ll just end up crushed by this world without leaving anything behind…”