I Will Inspire Your Insipid Days - Volume 1 Chapter 4.2

Part 1 “Performing”

One day, as I returned to the dorm after class as usual, I found Natsume-san collapsed on the floor.

“Huh?”

Surrounding her were scattered unfinished drawings and art supplies, looking like the aftermath of an explosion.

An absurdly loud voice escaped me before my brain could grasp the situation, and I dashed over.

“Hey! Natsume-san!?”

I hurriedly approached to check on her.

“What’s going on!? What happened!?”

“…hungry…”

“If you can’t talk, don’t force yourself! I’ll help you to the bed—”

“I’m hungry…”

“…Huh?”

Did I hear that wrong?

“…What did you just say?”

“I said I’m hungry.”

“…”

I gave up on supporting her up for the moment.

With a thud, Natsume-san collapsed back onto the floor.

As I straightened my disheveled clothes and looked down at her, I asked again.

“Is that your only concern?”

“…I was thinking, ‘I don’t want my last words to be I’m hungry.’ That would be sad.”

Lost for words, I fell silent for the moment, surprised at her seemingly casual demeanor.

As if to overwrite my silence, Natsume-san continued.

“When I’m drawing, I forget about sleeping or eating. Today’s a day off from medication too…”

Not quite understanding her explanation, I decided to at least get her body upright.

I pulled her arm and dragged her like a net, and with a groan, I managed to toss her onto the bed.

“Could you explain that again?”

“Hyperfocus, haven’t you heard of it? When you’re working and can’t see anything else around you. Sounds and voices, totally inaudible.”

“I haven’t, but…”

Not fully comprehending her physical or mental condition, I couldn’t make any complex remarks. So I turned to the issue that had been bothering me.

“I’m curious about the reason you’re hungry, though.”

“Ah, yes… I’m hungry…”

Muttering thus, Natsume-san sprawled out with her limbs spread wide. Simultaneously, as if on cue, a loud rumble of hunger echoed.

“I haven’t eaten anything since last night…”

“Want to go out for something to eat?”

“No.”

She flatly refused.

“I don’t want to go outside.”

“Why?”

I couldn’t help but ask, to which Natsume-san, with a serious look and a thin sweat on her forehead, whispered.

“I can’t eat in places where there are lots of people.”

It might have been too harsh a suggestion for her, who even finds attending school challenging.

I took a hair tie from the small storage next to the dresser, quickly tied my hair, and put on an apron. Checking the fridge, I found some ingredients I had bought before that were still left. I had brought them when moving rooms, thinking, “They’re still edible, and it’d be a shame to waste them.” There’s no kitchen in the dorm rooms due to fire hazards and simply to conserve living space, but there is a cooking area in the common space.

“I’ll make something.”

There were vegetable scraps like cabbage and carrots, a can of whole tomatoes, 100 grams of dry pasta, a cube of bouillon, and 60 grams of bacon. That was plenty.

“You can cook, Yonon?”

“In the Hanabishi headhouse, household chores were a man’s job. I mean, I’ve been taking care of cleaning and laundry in this room, haven’t I?”

“That’s true. I want a hamburger steak.”

“Could you not make requests at this point?”

“I’d be happy if there’s a fried egg on top. Hamburger steaks with fried eggs are like the sun. If the yolk is runny, it spreads like the setting sun. But if the yolk is hard, it won’t spread. I’d like it medium, please.”

“Don’t pile up requests!”

“I can’t eat strongly flavored vegetables, so no side dishes needed.”

“Next time I make a hamburger steak, I’ll stuff meat mixture into a bell pepper and bake it for you.”

“You’re trying to starve me.”

“How did we get here!?”

I sighed and continued.

“Couldn’t you have snacked on something? How did we even get to this situation…”

Quick to respond to my sudden question, Natsume-san eagerly replied.

“I wanted to eat with Yonon.”

“…”

Since living with Natsume-san, I feel like the number of times I’ve been confronted with her human side has especially increased. Whether I should lament no longer seeing her enshrouded in mystery, or rejoice that the conceptual distance has closed, I’m not quite sure.

But she can’t tidy up, is bad at meals (picky and irregular), wakes up in a bad mood, and showers abruptly. While I’m asleep, she immerses herself in painting, and when I go to school, she goes to bed. It might not be universal, but there’s no doubt she’s a girl of my age.

Natsume-san’s first comment after eating the makeshift Napolitana was.

“Ugh… there are so many vegetables…”

Without a trace of delicacy.

Silently grabbing the plate, she hurriedly apologized, “It’s delicious, I’ll eat it,” so I generously allowed her to continue her meal with “there won’t be a next time, you know.” Feeling her gradually become more “human” within me through such exchanges was peculiar.

“Are you not eating, Yonon?”

“There’s not enough for both of us, so I’m good.”

“Why don’t we eat together?”

“Didn’t you hear me?”

Despite saying that, having helped Satsuki-san throughout the day, I was feeling a bit peckish. I prepared a smaller plate for myself, transferring some of the food with tongs.

“We could have eaten from the same plate.”

“It’s not hygienic…”

“You care about that kind of thing?”

“I wish Natsume-san would care more about it. I know you can’t, but still.”

“But it’s delicious. Even with the vegetables, it’s easy to eat. Maybe vegetables are tasty?”

“You’re not trying to have a conversation, are you?”

As we exchanged these trivial words, I thought to myself, so she can share a meal with me… Meanwhile, I was puzzled and couldn’t comprehend the rationale behind someone who sacrifices so much to create. Her obsession with interests is intense, yet she’s utterly indifferent to anything else. I still don’t understand why Natsume-san might value me.