I Will Inspire Your Insipid Days - Volume 1 Chapter 4.8

Part 2 “Feeling”

“…Animation?”

Struggling to comprehend, I echoed the information I received verbatim, questioning it. Taking this as a cue to explain, Natsume-san began to detail her intentions.

“Yokaze, you can perfectly remember and replicate what you’ve seen or movements, right? But, information contained in a still image alone can’t accurately convey the “movement” intended by the creator, right?”

“Uh, yeah… uh?”

Even calling it an explanation, it was ultimately based solely on her unique sensibilities.

Somewhere between understanding and not.

“Then, the creator must draw the movement themselves, right? That’s why I chose animation.”

Regardless of my questions, Natsume-san concluded. She continued further.

“Do you know about flip books?”

When I shook my head, Natsume-san took the time to explain the principle to me.

By flipping through a bundle of still images that capture consecutive movements, the effect of persistence of vision makes the frames appear as a single moving image.

“You gather a bundle of drawing paper in order, bind the edge, right? Then if you flip through it quickly, the persistence of vision effect makes the drawings appear as moving images. This is

the principle of animation.”

“I’ve learned something new…”

“Didn’t you doodle in textbooks when you were in elementary school?”

“I didn’t… actually, I hardly ever went to school.”

“Oh right, you did say that.”

In the midst of our trivial exchange, I realized something.

She went through a tremendous effort to visualize the image… which means.

“The “Natsume” went out of her way to draw for me?”

“When… was this?”

I felt it was rude to ask, but I was genuinely curious.

How long had she been preparing this vast amount of rough drafts?

The answer was surprisingly simple.

“Since I handed the application form to Yokaze.”

“That means…”

I recalled that moment.

I had taken the form filled out by Natsume-san to Satsuki-san without checking its contents. I thought there was no need.

In the end, the application form was handed over to Satsuki-san, but by that time, “Co-collaborator: Hanabishi Kanon” was already written in it.

Thinking about it, it was a strange story.

“Since then, you were planning to create a stage with me… is that it?”

“That’s what I’ve been saying.”

“I understand that logically, it couldn’t be otherwise. But… to decide that from just a moment’s interaction… my mind can’t catch up…”

“A moment was enough to have a conversation with me, wasn’t it?”

Faced with an unexpected response, I fell silent.

“Yokaze, you were able to talk normally with me.”

That’s not true.

I’ve always thought, “What is she talking about?” every time I interacted with Natsume-san, and there were times I cursed her selfishness in my mind.

However…

“I thought, ‘Finally, someone who understands me!’ at that time. That’s why I got the idea.”

To Natsume-san, it must have been different.

Although my ability to organize information lagged──strangely, I could understand.

“Without Yokaze, I couldn’t have continued being a high school student, and I wouldn’t have even been able to participate in the Hohaku Festival in the first place. Meanwhile, Yokaze would have continued without owning anything. So, I thought of using Yokaze as an interface to disseminate the animation I drew. I thought of making Yokaze the very reason I am a student at Shumonzaka Academy─ Oh, right.”

Natsume-san pulled out a ballpoint pen from the mountain of art supplies and began to scribble something on a piece of paper.

“Let’s call this work ‘Connected by Wings.'”

“…What’s that?”

I asked for the meaning of the unfamiliar term.

“It means two people binding together closely.”

“…Isn’t that problematic?”

“Why?”

“Because it might hint that I’m male…”

“People don’t know the gender of ‘Natsume’, do they?”

“We’re submitting it for the Hohaku Festival, right? To a girls’ school festival?”

“Do you think people will read that much into it?”

“They might, right?”

“But a title is just that. A word that represents the work can’t lie.”

I couldn’t argue any further. If Natsume-san said so, it must be true.

But, the fact that she, clumsy, standoffish, insensitive, and worse at living than others, reached out to me.

Holding on to that fact, Natsume-san continued.

“Even if one of us is lacking, this work won’t be completed. Since the theme is conceived that way, it’s troubling if Yokaze won’t become my paintbrush.”

“…Since when have you been thinking about this?”

“The moment I realized Yokaze had a camera eye, I got the idea.”

“That means…”

I instantly pulled the scene of meeting Natsume-san from my memory.

“Because I have no recollection of your appearance. I remember the face and name of every student, so…”

From that moment?

“I knew right away that Yokaze was male because I can see the skeletal structure. I also knew immediately that your memory was exceptional because you remember time and images linked together. I understood various other things, but overall, I guess what I can say is… Yokaze and I are fundamentally the same.”

“I got lost at the very end.”

“That’s why…”

With her usual lack of fluctuation in expression, but with a brighter tone of voice, Natsume-san declared.

“Since Yokaze helped me, I’ll give results to Yokaze.”

Saying we should join forces, she stated her intention.

If I don’t respond to this──surely, I won’t be able to break away from my past self.

Then the conclusion is one.

To earnestly, sincerely bite into it.

To get closer to the “ordinary” scenery produced by her.

It’s often said that when you’re engrossed in something, time seems to fly by, and from that moment, it was indeed days flying like arrows. A week felt as dense as a single day, and during one of our conversations, Natsume-san mentioned this:

“I get it. It feels like only 13 hours have passed, but when I look at the calendar, it’s been like four days.”

“I don’t have that much of a disconnect in my sense of time…”

Nevertheless, her words provided a fresh experience I could empathize with.

At the same time, I understood why students at Shumonzaka Academy aren’t very social. When you’re wholly dedicated to your work, there’s no room to care for others. For me, who had never been passionate about anything, it was a novel experience. To realize the world of “Connected by Wings” that Natsume-san envisioned, I spent days absorbing various essences as her paintbrush.

I tried to incorporate the grandeur of Kabuki and the elegance of Noh, along with recreating dances I had once seen, taking in whatever I could feel intuitively.

“Art feels like eating. Each element becomes a nutrient, absorbed into the body.”

Natsume-san mentioned something like that once. Her expressions are always somewhat unique, and I can’t say I empathize with everything. But, having never been passionate about anything, I lacked the material to argue. I clung desperately to the new world Natsume-san took me to.

All of this was to meet her expectations.

I had never been passionate about anything because no one had ever expected anything from me.

Finding the goal of participating in the Hohaku Festival felt like the first time I had something to strive for.

In other words, a very abstract and significant goal: “Changing my life.”