If You Wish to Have Me - Chapter 120

Though there was no direct reply, Kisa felt as if she had heard Seyard’s answer through that smile alone.

“…….”

While Kisa couldn’t even open her mouth due to the tremendous shock striking her head, he very casually surveyed their surroundings.

“Shall we move to another location first? It seems this conversation will be lengthy, but there’s nothing here. No chairs, not even a warm cup of tea.”

Chairs? Tea? The everyday words heard in such an extraordinary situation were terribly awkward, but Kisa couldn’t voice any particular objection to his suggestion.

She had no energy to spare, still floundering in the tidal wave of shock that had struck her moments before.

When there was no response from Kisa, Seyard closed the box on the table and turned off the light.

“Come, let’s go.”

Then he led Kisa to his office located on the same floor.

What state of mind had she followed him in?

Facing Seyard across a low table, Kisa suddenly realized she was still clutching the colorful scarf in her hand.

Perhaps because Kisa was its original owner, Seyard didn’t particularly take issue with this fact.

‘Vischer…….’

The face of the boy who had introduced himself as Vischer overlapped with the stern face of Vischer Hillan that Kisa knew.

Kisa slowly raised her head to look at the figure sitting across from her.

“Are you really Vischer Hillan?”

Though it was a question she had already heard answered through his smile, she couldn’t bring herself to accept it as it was.

This was truly an impossible thing.

“I was once called by that name.”

However, the red-haired man said with a completely nonchalant attitude that this was reality.

That couldn’t be. Kisa wanted to refute this, but only bit her innocent lips.

She didn’t know well enough who Vischer Hillan was to speak with certainty.

Most of what she knew came through others’ words or glimpses from afar, and even when she had faced him closely, Kisa had desperately avoided him.

‘This person is really that man?’

Vischer, who had spilled wine on Kisa’s dress, and Seyard, who had always treated her kindly and politely.

Though their appearances might be identical, the atmospheres the two brothers carried were clearly opposite.

Kisa desperately tried to recall the man she had met at the princess’s banquet, attempting to find differences between him and the lover before her eyes.

“…….”

But the more she examined that familiar appearance, the more confused she became.

Atmosphere. What a subjective element this was.

It could easily change just by altering one’s manner of speaking and expression, and above all, it was greatly influenced by the observer’s psychology.

Seyard, who had previously emanated infinitely warm energy, now felt only faintly warm to her.

Kisa could no longer see her beloved as she once had.

Not like when she harbored no suspicions about him whatsoever.

It was the moment when the last belief within Kisa that denied the fact that these two people were the same person crumbled.

Now she wasn’t sure who this man was.

“……Exactly when did you become Seyard? Why are you pretending to be his younger brother? What happened to the real Seyard?”

“Calm down, Kisa.”

In contrast to Kisa, who was firing questions haphazardly, his attitude appeared not just calm but even leisurely.

“I fully understand your feelings. To answer your first question first…….”

The man paused briefly before continuing.

“From the beginning.”

Kisa’s pupils shook aimlessly.

From the beginning—which beginning was he referring to?

Though she asked herself this question, Kisa instinctively knew the answer.

About a year ago, when the two first met at the Royal Library.

That man was kindly informing her that he had been Vischer Hillan from that time.

In other words, don’t worry—no one had switched places during their courtship.

Put differently, Kisa had never even met the real Seyard.

While she sat dazed from another wave of shock, a certain doubt suddenly arose in her mind.

‘Then exactly when did the switch happen?’

The most appropriate time to masquerade as a younger brother who had spent a long time at the monastery. The time when he left the side of those who knew the original younger brother and settled into a new environment.

With just a little thought, the answer was readily apparent.

‘……The investigators and royal inspectors aren’t fools either.’

It meant that even Duke Hillan, who could supposedly make flying birds fall, would find it difficult to deceive their eyes and stage his own death when he wasn’t actually dead.

Nevertheless, he had perfectly made ‘Vischer’ into a dead man and become ‘Seyard.’

‘In other words, he—.’

Just as goosebumps rose on Kisa’s arms at some terrible possibility, the sound of orderly knocking echoed through the room.

“The tea I requested has arrived.”

The man explained to Kisa before giving permission for whoever was outside to enter.

“Excuse me.”

Soon after, Gilliam entered carrying a tray with a teapot and teacups.

It was unusual for a duke’s aide, not just any servant, to personally bring tea.

Had he chosen to move himself rather than wake other servants and disturb the mansion in the middle of the night?

However, what Kisa focused on wasn’t the fact that he had brought tea, but Gilliam as a person.

Seyard’s right hand and closest confidant, and one who had served three dukes including him.

Looking at him, she suddenly recalled a conversation she’d had with Lily a few days ago.

[That’s right. As you said, miss, except for Lord Gilliam, Hillan’s servants haven’t actually worked here very long.]

[Is there a special reason?]

[The current duke dismissed almost all the senior servants before taking the position of family head. While giving them double the promised severance pay.]

At the time, it had sounded like Seyard’s revenge against the servants who had contributed to banishing him to the monastery, but now it carried a completely different meaning.

That man had needed to drive out the long-serving servants from the household.

Because they likely remembered the real Seyard from childhood.

But there was one exception.

“Gilliam.”

At Kisa’s call, Gilliam, who had finished pouring tea and was about to withdraw, stopped his actions.

“Yes, miss. Please speak.”

“Did you know? That this person isn’t Seyard.”

At that moment, Gilliam’s eyes widened greatly.

He looked at his master with apparent confusion, then soon smiled warmly.

“You’ve finally revealed it, Your Grace.”

“Yes, just now.”

“Actually, I was just speculating that might be the case, watching you both. In any case, congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

It was a conversation that left the listener’s mind reeling.

“……Did you know from the beginning?”

When Kisa asked, Gilliam first looked to his master as if seeking permission.

His answer came only after the man in the chair nodded.

“Not exactly. Your Grace was an exemplary person who followed rules from childhood, but he occasionally showed impulsive behavior. Even so, I never dreamed he would execute such a bold plan without telling me.”

The elderly aide gazed into space as if recalling old memories, then spoke.

“At first, it was just a small sense of incongruity. Serving Young Master Seyard was such an old matter that it was hard to be certain. Just when I was thinking, ‘Are twins really this similar?’ Your Grace proposed to the young lady. That’s when I became certain.”

“Me? How did proposing to me make you certain…….”

At those words, Gilliam chuckled softly.

“As expected, you didn’t know. On that day long ago when you two first met, I was watching from a little distance away.”

“Is that really true?”

“The young master—no, Your Grace at that time—probably noticed but didn’t give any hint, did you?”

“Ah.”

Now that she thought about it, though the memory was dim from long ago, she seemed to recall hearing something like that.

“The only person in the world who would be considerate enough to let his pursuers catch up even while running away is Lord Vischer alone…… Oh my, the story has gone off track. I apologize. I’m getting on in years.”

After politely apologizing, the aide continued.

“Anyway, the person who met the young lady that day was Lord Vischer, not Lord Seyard. Actually, even after that, the young master often asked about news of the young lady—”

“That’s enough.”

His master raised his hand to stop the aide.

“Are you going to confess my love for me too?”

“Ah, I made another mistake. I apologize.”

“It’s fine, so go ahead and withdraw. And thank you for the tea. Your skill is still excellent.”

“It’s an honor.”

After Gilliam left, he savored the tea’s aroma and offered some to Kisa as well.

“Please drink it before it gets cold.”

“…….”

“You’re not in the mood.”

“Isn’t that natural?”

Kisa, whose face had grown pale, muttered quietly.

“I find you both amazing. How can you discuss faking your own death and pretending to be someone else while laughing like that? Moreover, your brother is…….”

“My brother is?”

She swallowed dryly before turning her gaze with difficulty to meet the man’s eyes.

“Tell me. What happened to your brother?”

To be honest, half of her wanted to hear it, and half didn’t.

But one thing was certain.

Kisa was already too deeply involved in this matter, and even if she had never met him, she couldn’t simply turn away from the person she had thought was her lover until now.

“Where did the real Seyard go?”

The man took a sip of tea before speaking.

“You have already met that fellow.”

“……I have?”

“More precisely, I should say you visited the place where that fellow is buried.”

Kisa gasped.

“Wh-what exactly happened?”

“It’s just as you know, Kisa.”

“What?”

“As Brother Emil confessed, that fellow tried to kill me.”

For a moment, she thought her heart had stopped.

He even knew that Kisa had met Brother Emil.