Liar's Lips Fall Apart in Love - Volume 1 Chapter 4.9

The Winter When We Take a Step Forward 9

The moment I woke up, Nanase’s sleeping face was right in front of me.

At close range, her peaceful breathing almost stopped my heart. I was suprised and rolled off the sofa in a big way.

I hit my head hard on the table. A dull thud echoed.

As I writhed, holding my head, Nanase stirred and murmured, “Hmm…?”

“Ah, Sagara-kun. Good morning…”

Nanase, now awake, gave me a smile. The moment I saw that smile, everything else seemed trivial.

Rubbing my head, I replied, “…Good morning.”

“Did you sleep well?”

“…I’m disappointed in myself for being able to sleep so well.”

I felt refreshed, maybe because I had slept so soundly. How could I sleep so carelessly in such a situation? Maybe I was thicker-skinned than I thought.

“That’s good.”

Nanase stood up from the sofa, making a swift sound as she opened the curtains.

“Let’s go buy breakfast at the bakery nearby. Their cream bread is delicious.”

Beyond the window, the sky was a clear blue. Her chestnut hair reflected the sun, sparkling. It felt strangely dazzling, and I squinted my eyes.

After breakfast, Nanase and I took the city bus to my parents’ house. Getting off the bus, I told Nanase, “This is fine.”

“I’ll be back soon after talking to my mom… Wait for me at a café or somewhere.”

“Okay, I understand. Take care.”

Nanase smiled softly and waved goodbye.

…Nanase has done so much for me… I’ve been so selfish.

Pushing Nanase away with my selfish reasons. Afraid of getting hurt, I’ve been running away from her feelings and mine. I know that can’t continue.

To face Nanase’s feelings head-on, I must first confront and resolve my own issues.

I straightened my back and walked toward my parents’ house.

There’s a small park on the way from the bus stop to my house, where Nanase fell yesterday. I remember, as a child, I fell from the jungle gym and had to get stitches on the back of my head.

I don’t remember the incident, but I recall my mother saying, “I was so scared at that moment.”

…The memories I’ve been avoiding might not all be bad.

After walking for a while, I arrived at my parents’ house. I was nervous, but I didn’t feel like running away as I did yesterday.

Taking a deep breath, I pressed the doorbell.

“Welcome back, Souhei.”

My mother appeared at the door. She seemed a bit plumper than I remembered, and her complexion was good. Not knowing how to react, I stood there with my hands stuffed in my down jacket pockets.

“It’s cold, come inside. Was the trip okay?”

I entered the house as prompted. It was warm inside.

The guest slippers prepared at the entrance weren’t the ones I used to use but brand new ones, feeling stiff and uncomfortable. Although this was undoubtedly the house I grew up in, it felt strangely unfamiliar.

“Why didn’t you come back yesterday?”

My mother’s voice didn’t sound accusatory but rather worried about me.

“Ah… sorry. Um, I was at a friend’s house…”

“Ichika-chan, mentioned seeing someone who looked like you.”

I couldn’t lie, so I vaguely nodded.

My mother looked at me intently, then muttered with genuine relief.

“I’m glad you came.”

Surprised by her unexpected words, I asked, “Ah?” My mother looked down and continued softly.

“I hardly ever get calls from you. And you don’t accept the money I send.”

“That’s because…”

“I thought you wouldn’t come back here.”

My mother’s voice trembled slightly, then she turned her back to me.

When I apologized, I heard her sniffle. She was crying, something she never did, even when things were tough with my father.

I finally realized that before being my mother, she was a person with her own feelings.

Quickly wiping her eyes, my mother turned to me, forcing a smile.

“Well, it’s okay. Will you stay for dinner? How about fried chicken?”

Fried chicken was my favorite. My mother still remembered what I liked.

“Mom…”

“What is it?”

“Have you ever regretted having me?”

It was a question I had been too afraid to ask, fearing the affirmation.

My mother hesitated for a moment at my abrupt question, then looked away, ashamed.

“I’m sorry, Souhei. I said terrible things to you… ”

“If only Souhei had never been born…”

Those words, spoken during an argument with my father, had clung to me like a curse.

“I can’t excuse it, but… I was struggling every day back then, with no other choices.”

I nodded. Now, I could understand. A mother is also a person. It’s possible to say something you don’t mean when you’re overwhelmed.

“I understand if you can’t forgive me. But let me say this.”

My mother paused, then looked directly at me and said firmly.

“The idea that I regretted having you… There’s no way that’s true.”

At that moment, it felt as if a thorn that had been lodged in my heart was gently pulled out.

This might no longer be my place, but I knew my mother still loved me. Just knowing that made coming here worthwhile.

“Mom… Congratulations on your remarriage.”

At my words, my mother smiled and said, “Thank you.” It was a genuinely happy smile I hadn’t seen in a long time.

After a bit more conversation with my mother, I put on my down jacket and said, “I should be going.”

“You could stay a little longer.”

“No, today… I’ve kept a friend waiting.”

My mother looked slightly disappointed but didn’t insist.

“I’ll come again properly next time… to greet… the person you’re remarrying.”

Hearing that, my mother nodded happily. Although I don’t plan to return often, I thought it wouldn’t hurt to visit once in a while.

I put on my sneakers and stepped outside.

The cold was still harsh, and my breath could almost freeze, but a ray of sunshine pierced through the grey clouds.

The remaining snow reflected this light, sparkling white. I was eager to see Nanase, my steps quickening naturally.

Then, I noticed a figure at the bus stop. A woman with long hair was standing alone.

“…Nanase!”

I called out her name loudly. Noticing me, Nanase quickly ran towards me.

“…Why are you here?… I told you to wait somewhere.”

“…Yeah. I just couldn’t settle down…”

“Aren’t you cold?”

Nanase replied, “I’m fine,” with a breath that turned white in the cold, though her nose was visibly red. When I touched her hand, it was ice-cold.

…She had been waiting for me in this cold.

I grasped her hand tightly, as if to melt the ice. Nanase, holding my hand in return, asked timidly.

“…Sagara-kun. How… was it?”

“…Yeah. My place… it’s not there after all.”

As I answered, Nanase looked down sadly, her long eyelashes casting a shadow.

“So, I see. Sorry… Maybe I did something unnecessary…”

“…No. It’s not like that.”

It was Nanase who thawed my stubborn, frozen heart. Thanks to her, I was able to prepare myself to face my mother.

“Maybe… it’s going to be alright.”

“…Really? If so, that’s good.”

Before Nanase could finish speaking, I pulled her close and hugged her tightly. Her body fit perfectly in my arms. Her chestnut hair smelled sweet.

“…Nanase, I…”

I had so much to tell her, but words failed me.

All I could do was hold her tight, overwhelmed by my emotions.

After a while, Nanase’s hands wrapped around my back.

In the biting cold, only the part of us that touched felt unnaturally warm.

All I wanted was to keep this warmth inside me, so I tightened my embrace.

tln : i shed tears :((