My Childhood Friend Attacked Me When I Declared That Her Birthday Present Was 'Me' - Chapter 11

Living Hell or The Imminent Death in Front of Me

Scars on the back are a swordsman’s shame…

That’s a cool line said by a certain pirate who is famous, but it only sounds cool because he’s the one who says it.

It’s not cool when an ordinary guy like me says it.

I mean, first of all… I’m not a swordsman!

What a ridiculous thing to say… but I can’t say it in this atmosphere.

Why? Because there’s a two-meter giant prostrating himself in front of me.

This kind of situation is pretty rare, isn’t it?

“Please… take care of… my daughter…”

He’s pushing himself to the limit to say this like he’s about to vomit blood.

Is this what people mean by saying [Spitting up blood]?

“I… I don’t want to give up my daughter either, if I can help it. But… If I keep saying that, my daughter won’t be happy! So… at least… I thought I could entrust my daughter to you, a childhood friend she has known for a long time!”

” ……… “

“At this point, I’m not going to talk about s*x, or condoms or anything. B-but… I want… I want you to take responsibility! I want you to date my daughter with the intention of marriage!”

” ……… “

How can someone’s parents say something like this…

“No-no-no, wait-wait-wait…I mean, shouldn’t we calm down and think calmly about this?”

“There’s no way I can calm down!”

“Right… I’m sorry…”

Well, that’s a very valid point.

“First of all, I don’t want to make you suffer, Daigorou-san…”

“Huh?”

“I want… to stay friends with Kaori…”

A slap hits my cheek cleanly.

Slap- (ズサー)

Hmm… the impact of the floor hurts.

“Do you think you can still be friends after sleeping with my daughter?! Huh?”

He’s glaring at me… Am I going to be killed…?

But if I don’t speak up… if I don’t, it’ll be a living hell for me.

“I want to stay as best friends! I want to stay friends with Kaori just like we’ve always been…”

Smack- (バチコーン。)

Another slap hits my other cheek cleanly.

Huhh…

“Then why did you do it?! You f*cked her! You f*cked her! You f*cked her! You f*cked her! You f*cked her! You f*cked her! You f*cked her! You f*cked her! You f*cked her! You f*cked her! You f*cked her! You f*cked her! You f*cked her! You f*cked her! You f*cked her! You f*cked her! You f*cked her! You f*cked her! You f*cked her! You f*cked her!” (TN: Yes, it’s 20 times.)

“That’s because… Kaori pushed me down.”

“You’re a man! Aren’t you ashamed saying excuses like that?!”

“I’ve heard the word ‘shame’ too much! Dad!”

Kaori, I’m begging you… Don’t come into the field, please.

“You should be able to shake her off with your strength! And why did you get into such a situation in the first place!”

“Well, that’s because…”

I explained the sequence of events as clearly and understandably as possible. I hoped it would at least alleviate the situation a bit…

But.

Smack- Smack-

Two more slaps hit my face clean… how many times have I been slapped now?

Huhh…

…my face’s gonna tear.

“It’s your fault!”

“Ha?”

“It’s your fault for saying you’d be her birthday present!”

” …….. “

You’ve got to be kidding me…

“Our family motto is to believe what people say. Don’t doubt anyone.”

“If that’s the case, then you’ll be defrauded in no time…”

“Depending on the situation. The intention is to fully accept people’s goodwill. So Kaori was just responding to your goodwill… but you… you’re just babbling around… you should be ashamed!”

“Eh…”

Do I really need to be scolded so harshly?

“I’m just kidding…”

“There are good and bad things to say, even as a joke!”

“Seriously…”

Can’t you take my joke as a joke?

“Now that you understand everything… let me ask you again… you’ll take my daughter, won’t you?”

” ……… “

“You’ll date my daughter with the intention of marrying her, right?”

” ……… “

“You’re not going to say ‘just friends’ anymore, are you?”

” ……… “

“…You know, I can keep slapping you until that cowardly mouth of yours says something.”

” ……… “

“3…2…1…”

“I will date… I will date her…”

In the end, I, rather than enduring a living hell, succumbed to the imminent death before me. (俺、生き地獄より目の前の死に負けた。)

***

TN: Changed sfx,

ズサー= Zusā

バチコーン = Bachikōn.