Ranobe Mo Ore Mo Sukina Gyaru - Volume 1 Chapter 7.2

Gal and MiniMon 2

『For now, even if you’re not my virtual boyfriend, give me some comforting ‘yosh-yosh’. Otherwise, I won’t play Minimon with you, Yoda!』

“Why does it sound like I’m the one who wants to play Minimon… And do I really have to say that for things to progress?”

『Could you add some ikemen lines that you think are cool? Because I’ve worked really hard today and deserve some kind of reward! It wouldn’t hurt for you, Yoda, so comfort me a little! I’m going to kick that horrible photographer in the nuts one day!』

“Wow, the complaints just keep coming.”

Anyway, it seems like Tsumakawa is in a needy mode today due to being tired from her modeling job…

Understanding that, I let out a small sigh and, of course, as part of the joke, I tried my best to use a cool voice while saying,

“Welcome home, princess. You did well at work today. Yosh-yosh.”

『…Eh, not bad.』

“Not bad!? Uh, Tsumakawa-san!? R I was fully prepared for you to react like, ‘Eww, Yoda, that’s creepy!’ when I said that cheesy line! Now it looks like I actually meant it, and that’s even more embarrassing!”

『Then give me another one with a different style!』

“There’s no way I have another crappy line prepared for a situation like this!”

As I retorted with my emotions, Tsumakawa burst into laughter as if she couldn’t hold back.

Then, with a brighter tone than before, she continued,

『Yay, I really feel a bit better now. I guess it’s true having a ‘Suki-pi’ [someone you like] is really valuable. Thanks, Yoda!』

“Uh, okay…s-suki-pi…”

『Hehe. I’m sorry for the misunderstanding, but I don’t mean it in a romantic sense. Depending on how hard you work, it could totally go that way, so I hope you’ll keep working hard! In fact, I might even get mad if you slack off!』

“Why am I the one getting scolded here? It’s quite a mystery…”

『Alright, enough chit-chat. Let’s play Minimon already. How long are we going to talk about unrelated stuff?』

“Sorry, Tsumakawa, but I think you’re mainly the cause of all this idle chatter.”

As I retorted through my wireless earphones, she responded with a cheerful ‘Hahaha’

Am I being underestimated here?

Thinking so, I launched the Minimon game on my handheld console.

『Which world should we go to?』

“For now, can Tsumakawa-san be the host?”

After she said ‘Let’s go!’, we connected to the online game.

Then, after going through several steps, my avatar, a boy, arrived in Tsumakawa’s Minimon world——next to the Minimon Center.

When my avatar looked to the side, there stood a girl with flashy makeup, blonde twin-tails, and a revealing uniform with ‘Aiamu bitchi’ written on her back, waving her hand.

『Yahoo Yoda! This may come as a bit of a surprise, but it’s my avatar! Cute, right?』

“Not surprising at all. It perfectly fits my image of you, Tsumakawa.”

『Hehe… So, Yoda, you chose a boy avatar? Don’t otaku usually choose girl avatars?』

“Ah, so that stereotype still exists… No, Tsumakawa. Otaku who choose girl player characters are often more sociable, positive types. On the other hand, those like me, who would really like to adventure as a cute girl but are too shy to do so, and therefore choose a male avatar, are the true otaku. In other words, otaku who choose female avatars are fake otaku, mere imitators.”

『Hmm. ——Ah, Yoda, come over here! Let’s catch this one together!』

“Even if you’re not interested in what I’m saying, could you at least react a bit? Don’t you feel sorry for me?”

As we talked like this, we walked around Tsumakawa’s adventuring world for a while.

『It’s fun, even though we’re just walking around like this.』

Tsumakawa said, making me a bit embarrassed and ignoring her. You gal, how awful.

As we walked through the streets of the Minimon world, Tsumakawa suddenly said,

『By the way, Yoda, your character’s clothes are still in default. Want me to buy some for you?』

‘What are you, my mom?'”

『You’re in high school and you’re still letting your mom buy your clothes? Hehe. Anyway, when we’re walking around this game world controlling our characters like this, doesn’t it feel like we’re actually walking around the city together? This is pretty much a date. Maybe I should actually invite you on a date today.』

” ….. “

『Stop going silent when you’re in trouble, you virgin.』

“V-virgin?! W-why so sudden… you really surprised me…”

『Haha. The fact that you don’t even try to hide that you’re a virgin is cute. You’re a cute virgin (Dōtei kawaī).』

“What do you even mean by a cute virgin? I’m a virgin, but I’m not cute.”

While we were having such an unproductive conversation, the avatars of Tsumakawa and I left the town and entered an open field.

Taking this opportunity, I decided to talk to her about our goal for today.

“Anyway, let’s finally go and defeat Ao no Genichiro… My Minimon has leveled up quite a bit by now, so I think we can easily defeat the difficult Gen-chan.”

『Hold on a second, Yoda. Are you misunderstanding something? I don’t particularly want you to defeat Gen-chan for me. That’s not the point—I wanted to get advice from you on how I can win with my own Minimon.』

“Ah, I see… You want to do it with your own Minimon, huh?”

『Yeah! So for now, let’s have a Minimon battle!』

“Got it. Just a moment, let me organize my team…”

With that, to assess Tsumakawa-san’s abilities, a Minimon battle between her and me began.

First, I summoned a massive dragon-type Minimon.

On the other hand, Tsumakawa unleashed the most famous Minimon in the Minimon community, “Denki Nezumi Minimon.” Her avatar spoke like this:

【Go, Pika Poyo!】

“You’ve given it a name like something a gyaru would use.”

As I retorted, I defeated it in an instant. Next, Tsumakawa’s avatar unleashed the ‘Yuki-onna Minimon (Snow Woman)’ with the following line:

【Go, Kanachamu!】

“Why do gyarus tend to give their stage names names like ‘-chamu’ or ‘~~poyo’? By the way, who’s ‘Kanachamu’?”

『My best friend!』

“Don’t give your Minimon the name of your best friend!”

While saying that, I defeated ‘Kanachamu’ in an instant.

Tsumakawa got angry, saying, ‘You’re being so mean to my best friend!’ but this was her fault for making her best friend a target.

Anyway, next, Tsumakawa’s avatar unleashed ‘Buta (Pig) Minimon’ with this line:

【Go, Tokyo X!】

“Don’t give a pig Minimon the name of a branded pig! Is it meant for consumption or what?”

As I quipped and quickly knocked out her creature, Tsumakawa’s avatar unleashed another ‘Fire-type Inu (Dog) Minimon’ with the following line:

【Go, Hotdog!】

“Cut the clever wordplay. Heh, see what I did there?”

As I retorted, I defeated it again in an instant.

Finally, Tsumakawa’s avatar summoned ‘Osakana (Fish) Minimon’ with this line:

【Go, Gudetama!】 (A lazy egg yolk character, often appears in various culinary settings, including sushi.)

“It’s already assumed to be for eating. Even your character’s lines sound like catchphrases from a restaurant commercial…”

As I retorted, I defeated it again in an instant.

My avatar happily struck a victory pose. It seemed I had won the battle against Tsumakawa-san.

As I caught my breath while looking at the victory screen, suddenly… from the other end of the wireless earphones, I heard something akin to angry cries.

『Hey, isn’t it too much for you to keep beating up my Minimon!? Haa!? It’s super creepy! You’ve overtrained that Minimon! Yoda, that’s awful! Why won’t you let me attack even once!? This is really terrible! Uwaaaaaa!』

“…Hearing a high school girl’s ‘Uwaaaaaa!’ has a kind of genuine intensity that’s different from when a child says it, which makes it hard to listen to…”

『Shouldn’t you hold back a little!?!? I felt like crying watching my beloved Minimon that I’ve traveled with all this time get beaten up by Yoda! Don’t mess with me!』

“I’m sorry, Tsumakawa-san… I also thought about letting you attack since it was too one-sided, but I thought that with the weak damage you deal, it would only shock you even more. So, I decided to finish this off as quickly as possible…”

『Uwaaaaaaahhh!』

This was the first time I ever made a girl cry. What should I have done to avoid this…?

For now, I didn’t possess the advanced technique of consoling a girl, so all I could do was to offer some extremely practical advice.