Saint's Prison - Chapter 107

Whose Kindness Is It For

“Johanna.”

I tried calling her name.

“…”

Her cheeks, and even her ears, turned a deep red as Johanna sulkily fell silent. She wouldn’t even respond to my call. I gave a wry smile, thinking I might have gone too far. Ah, really. It seems I forget the word ‘restraint’ when it comes to this girl.

“Johanna-san”

This time, I called her name gently and politely.

She turned her face away indifferently. Was my respect insufficient?

“Johanna-sama”

“……Haa.”

Johanna, who had been silent, let out a resigned sigh. It was the look of someone chiding an incompetent younger brother.

“Johanna-sama, I truly apologize.”

“Are you trying to apologize with that, you shameless rogue?”

“Shameless rogue? That’s the first time I’ve been cursed with such words. Johanna-sama, you have quite the vocabulary for insults.”

“……Please stop with the honorifics. I will seriously hit you.”

“I am reflecting on it.”

I bowed my head immediately.

Johanna sighed yet again, as if she had no choice, and turned to face me once more, her lips relaxing.

“Really, you always manage to trouble me.”

“Ah, sorry. Was it that much of a nuisance?”

“……It’s troubling precisely because it wasn’t a nuisance.”

Johanna shrugged her shoulders. It was a gesture of trying to assimilate an answer she already knew.

“Let’s end this topic here.”

She cut off the conversation with a whisper-like voice. Her eyes said no arguments allowed. Overwhelmed, I nodded slightly and, feeling pathetic, looked up at the sky to escape her gaze.

“……Kuro-dono, you often look at the sky, don’t you?”

“Hm? Ah, now that you mention it, I guess I do.”

“Do you like the sky?”

The blue sky enveloped in a warm sunlit spot. The overcast hiding the sun. The twilight that makes you want to reach out your hand. The dark night chased by silence under the moonlight. No matter the era or place, the sky never changes.

—That’s why I like the sky.

“Well, yeah. …What about you, Johanna?”

“I have never once thought that I liked the sky.”

“Huh, is that so?”

“Yes.”

Johanna frowned slightly at my casual response, and I couldn’t help but laugh. Despite her cool appearance, Johanna is surprisingly expressive.

“……But, if you’ve never thought about it, it means you could come to like it from now on. Someday, you’ll find a sky that you can think of as lovely.”

“—!”

Johanna gasped. It seemed my words were something she had never anticipated.

“……Could I really come to like it?”

“Definitely. Until then, just lie back and look up at the sky leisurely. If you don’t mind, I’ll join you.”

“Fufu. With such a smooth talk, are you just using that as an excuse to laze around and sleep?”

“Was it that obvious?”

I spoke playfully on purpose. Watching my demeanor, Johanna smiled faintly.

—Why does she always smile like that?

No matter how much I ponder, I can’t understand the reason. No, I can’t even begin to think about it. Just as an equation needs to be constructed to find an answer, without knowing the makeup of Johanna Scotus, I can’t begin to unravel the reason.

“—Thinking about it, it’s already been over a year since we met, and I barely know anything about you, Johanna.”

Johanna tilted her head, her golden strands of hair swaying in tandem. A refreshing scent of lemons brushed past my nose.

“What’s the matter all of a sudden?”

“……Just a thought.”

“You are strange, Kuro-dono.”

I knew well that there was no coherence in my words. I could easily imagine my own face scowling at the moment.

“You’re always so busy with such a range of emotions, from sadness to laughter to sulking, Kuro-dono.”

“Hey, don’t tease me.”

“Ah, my apologies.”

Johanna lightly brushed off my embarrassed admonition.

“So, what is it that you want to know about me?”

“Anything, really. Your background, what you like, just various things.”

She put her right hand to her lips and cast her eyes down as if in thought. Unconsciously, no doubt, she gripped her rosary tightly in her left hand.

“I was born and raised here in Stonehurst. From the moment of my first cry, it was decided that I would become a clergy member, just like my ancestors. There was never any other option. ……See? My background isn’t particularly interesting, is it?”

Her words were spoken flatly, yet they were terribly heavy. Nevertheless, I encouraged her to continue with my gaze.

“Ah, then it was what you like… ……Well, let’s see. Perhaps, gentle things?”

“That’s awfully vague.”

“Gentleness is, by nature, ambiguous. The concept of kindness varies from person to person. What is kind to one may be pain to another. Kindness is individual, not universal.”

“So, what’s the kindest thing to you, Johanna?”

“That is—”

Johanna looked at me.

“……Johanna?”

“It’s a secret.”

“Seriously?”

I let out a sigh in frustration, having been kept in the dark about the most important part.

“I do like gentle things. Very much so. But I don’t try to obtain them. Even thinking about it is forbidden.”

“There’s nothing wrong with thinking fondly of something you like.”

“……You really do trouble me.”

Johanna relaxed and let go of her rosary.

“Kuro-dono, I am grateful for your concern. But it’s alright. I’ve come to know my own ‘gentleness.’ That’s enough for me. ……Fufu, don’t look so sad. I am quite happy.”

Johanna smiled again.

—Why does she always smile like that?

—Why does she smile so lonely?