Saint's Prison - Chapter 126

Inaudible Screams

“――――Ku, dono. Hold on, keep your spirit strong! Ah,―― are we resonating? No, Kuro-dono… No, don’t be swallowed by the idiot’s nightmare!”

I hear a voice.

A cool, cold hand caresses my cheek several times. A slightly hard palm. It was a noble, strong, and gentle hand, just like her.

“Kuro-dono, don’t look. Don’t listen. Don’t speak. Don’t give it an opportunity! Ah, please, only you… stay as you are. Please, so…”

A painful scream echoes.

A teardrop falls and flows down my cheek, disappearing. Is she crying? …Is she crying for me?

I wondered why. Why are you doing so much for me? I don’t know the answer. Even if I did, I might not be able to return anything.

“Kuro-dono… please wake up.”

She keeps calling out to me. To me, who couldn’t choose to resist from the beginning and could only run away, she is too dazzling.

You, on the other hand, probably worry about others without looking at yourself, suffer for others, struggle for others. It’s such an awkward and clumsy way of living that it makes me want to laugh.

She pats my head again.

People with cold hands are said to have warm hearts. I don’t know if that’s true, but at least she was warmer than anyone else.

(I have to wake up. She’s waiting for me. She wants me. But――――)

I open my eyes. Just that action is terribly heavy. I feel an unknown fear in waking up.

――――I should just keep sleeping.

My heart stirs.

I should give in and fall into a deep sleep. That’s salvation. That’s the only salvation.

Did I want to forget?

The guilt of abandoning my sister and leaving my hometown.

Did I want to be forgiven?

For letting my sister die alone.

A shadow whispers.

I don’t need to think.

I just need to accept it without thinking.

Just like before, I should walk without thinking.

And just keep running away forever.

I don’t need to think, I just need to run away.

What am I hesitating for?

Haven’t you always done that?

I try to deny it, opening my mouth. But I couldn’t spin the words. Running away, running away, running away. And so, I’m here. That was an undeniable fact.

I can’t breathe. No, I don’t want to breathe. Should I just end it here? At the point where I can’t affirm my existence, I’m a hopeless human being. I have no reason to live anymore. I should just end it.

That’s right.

So, just give in.

Peregrinus, the one who comes from outside.

The vessel from the sky.

Caelum vessel.

Entrust your body to me.

The voice echoes in my head.

Just a little more, just a little more.

We are one. One is us.

Yes, we will become one.

(Ah, that’s right. I am for that purpose… here, Stonehurst)

As I try to relax my body to fall asleep again, I am forcefully pulled and tightly embraced. A faint scent of lemon tickles my nostrils.

“…I don’t know what’s holding you back. I can’t understand your pain. I can’t be by your side in your sadness. Because you’ve never sought salvation in the first place.”

My heart beats with a thud.

“You’re a kinder person than anyone else, so you’ll always blame yourself. You don’t need salvation. You don’t ask for prayers. Yes, that’s how you live.”

“…………!”

“Kuro-dono, do you just want to be judged? By the very person who left a wedge in your heart, not anyone else? You want them to judge you?”

An inaudible scream vibrates the air.