Saint's Prison - Chapter 25
The Nun’s Confession
It may be surprising, but each priest living in the monastery is given a private room. This idea come from the belief unique to monasteries that value silence.
In order to properly hear the voice of God, one must maintain silence. Silence is the only path filled with God’s thoughts.
For that, solitude is necessary, which cannot be obtained in a communal bedroom.
The private room exists for this reason. It is not so much for protecting privacy, but rather to adhere to the rules and maintain silence.
This Stonehurst Monastery also has the rule of silence. It is not as strict as keeping silent throughout the day, but rather maintaining silence only during certain times, such as prayer, sacred reading, and meals.
Living in a group while maintaining solitude, silence, and poverty – these are the most essential elements for living in a monastery.
In other words, by barging into a private room (especially a woman’s) without question, I am a great disrespectful person.
… Yeah, I knew it.
Johanna’s room has a simple interior, with only a bed, desk, chair, and dresser as furniture, just like my own room. I sit on a chair and talk to her.
Although she said I should go home, she is quite cooperative because she is originally a serious person. She’s a sadist, but her foundation is serious. Well, she takes care of me in her own way, and she has a kind side. Also, she has a sharp tongue.
Her appearance is characterized by her thick blonde hair braided into a chignon, and her transparent blue eyes.
She has a clear-cut German facial structure with deep-set eyes and a straight nose bridge. Although she has a cold, unapproachable demeanor, she is stunningly beautiful.
Her slender, efficient physique is complemented by her good posture. Her dignified aura reveals her unguardedness.
She is always calm, indifferent, and gives a mechanical impression, but her occasional smile is soft and feminine. It appears as if she tries to suppress her emotions and behave inorganically.
“What’s the matter, staring at me so intently? Is there something on my face?”
“Eyes, nose, and mouth.”
“… You’re really good at getting on my nerves.”
“Well, not that much.”
She sighs, looking exasperated.
“You really go too far with your jokes.”
“— But you’ll forgive me, right?”
“… I’d like to know where that confidence comes from, but fine.”
Feeling awkward, Johanna averts her face. She is good at attacking but doesn’t seem to have much resistance to being attacked. What’s this? She has a cute side too.
“So, can we stop with the pointless talk about wanting to be scolded? Can you tell me the real reason soon?”
“… You figured it out, huh?”
“Of course. I told you, didn’t I? You’re straightforward and unpretentious. You could also say you’re simple and foolishly honest.”
“You’re also good at annoying me.”
“Not that much.”
While exchanging words, I make up my mind. I stare intently into Johanna’s eyes. With determination, I speak.
“I’ll get straight to the point. I want to know about your relationship with Amal.”
“… And what do you plan to do after hearing that?”
“I don’t know. I’ll think about it after I hear it.”
“You’re really honest.”
With a troubled look, Johanna lowers her eyebrows and closes her eyes. After a few minutes like this, she quietly lifts her face.
“May I ask one thing? Why do you want to ask me about that?”
“Well, I feel like you’re the only one who looks at Amal differently. The other priests don’t seem to have good feelings towards Amal, and I don’t even think they acknowledge her existence. But I feel that Johanna doesn’t fit that mold.”
Johanna nods, understanding.
“… You’re very observant. Indeed, I don’t harbor such feelings towards her. If I had to say, it would be pity.”
“Pity…?”
“Yes, I feel an overwhelming sympathy for her birth and her fate. There’s no doubt about it. And I have no intention of denying it.”
“Then you should talk to her properly and tell her that! Amal has been lonely all this time. She must have been waiting for someone to look into her eyes and talk to her!”
With a sad shake of her head, Johanna answers in a surprisingly gentle tone.
“I can’t do that. We have a vow. As long as we are bound by it, we cannot interfere with her.”
“… Tell me, what is this vow?”
“Everyone who enters this monastery must keep this vow. And its contents must never be leaked to the outside.”
So, this is just a monologue, Johanna smiles softly. It was a wistful smile, like looking at something resigned from afar.
“The vow is to hide secrets. Do you understand? Investigate the origins of this monastery. Make sure no one from other monasteries finds out, and keep it confidential.”
Thank you, I try to say, but she presses her index finger to her lips. She brings her face closer and whispers in my ear.
“There’s no need for thanks. It’s just a monologue. … I’ll tell you one thing. Although I feel sympathy for her, I’m not necessarily her ally. Because—”
* * *
When I came to, I was back in my room.
I sit on the bed and let out a deep sigh. I’m exhausted, not physically, but mentally. However, I can’t rest now.
I’ll take advantage of the break and go to the library. There must be a clue there. As I try to get up, there’s a knock on the door.
I face the door and call out to them, trying to hide my agitation.
The door opens with a creaky, unreliable sound.
There stands a petite girl wearing a faded black robe, Amal.
Amal enters the room, closes the door immediately, and removes her hood. She brushes up her silvery hair, and the glossy, supple hair spreads down to her waist.
She looks around the room, and when she recognizes me, her beautiful face with traces of youth lights up. She runs toward me, delighted like a puppy. I kinda saw a tail wagging back and forth to its limit.
As she comes right in front of me, she hugs me and mumbles that she was lonely.
I laugh and reply that we were together until the morning.
She sulks, saying that we were only together in the morning.
This spoiled girl.
Day by day, Amal’s clinginess seems to be increasing. That’s just how much she trusts me.
Amal only displays her greed towards me.
She directs all kinds of emotions only at me. It’s not an exaggeration to call it dependency. For Amal, I am her only ally. Her only human.
As I hug Amal and stroke her head, I recall the continuation of the words whispered by Johanna.
“— I’m here to kill her, after all.”
… Those words resembled a confession.
TN: … Don’t ask me… i also suprised by that sudden line by johanna…
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