Saint's Prison - Chapter 53

Dissolving into the sky…

Dreams are not something to fulfill, but something to awaken from.

…That’s right, even nightmares inevitably come to an end.

Ah, but you…

The world you wake up to is more terrifying than the nightmare.

It has always been said so.

But don’t despair.

Both nightmares and this world are nothing more than vague and chaotic illusions.

Eventually, those boundaries will disappear.

Eventually… they will become one.

The bed creaks.

While feeling the coldness of the stone wall on my back, I focus on the girl I hold in my chest. A being that fits perfectly in my arms. A small, delicate, and lonely girl.

“Amal…”

When I call her name, Amal wraps her arms around my back and hugs me tightly. She presses her face further against my chest and rubs against it. I can hear the sound of her sniffing.

I stroke her head to comfort her.

“…Have you calmed down?”

“Uh…”

A groan.

She shakes her head.

Her silver hair, which reaches her waist, sways with her movement. The sweet scent of flowers and fruits tickles my nose.

“There, there…”

For now, I lightly pat her back and hug her back. The tension in Amal’s delicate shoulders eased.

“Andy-sama.”

“Yeah?”

“Andy-sama, Andy-sama.”

“Yeah, what is it?”

“Please forgive me, the sinful me. I can’t live without Andy-sama. I’m sorry for being so demanding. But, but…”

The desperate girl clings to me.

She appeals with her whole body that she doesn’t want to let go.

“Idiot, don’t say such things… No, I’m the idiot. I’m sorry for making you say such things.”

“…Andy-sama.”

“Hey, what can I do to make you feel safe?”

“That’s…”

Amal slowly lifts her face.

Her pure-blooded red eyes.

Her painfully swollen eyelids.

Her peach-colored lips tremble as she searches for words.

“You don’t have to force yourself to answer.”

“…That…”

She lowers her shoulders and slumps.

Her movements are like a puppy wagging its tail and whimpering.

She keeps opening and closing her mouth, trying to say something.

I decided to patiently wait for Amal’s words.

“Andy-sama’s, ya-ya-ko…”

“Ya-ya-ko?”

What does “ya-ya-ko” mean?

I tilted my head in confusion at her words.

Seeing this, Amal closed her eyes.

“…No, it’s nothing.”

“Is that so? Well, if there’s anything, just say it.”

“Yes,” Amal nodded modestly and let out a faint smile.

It was a smile so fragile it seemed like it could disappear with a puff of wind. I became anxious and peered into Amal’s eyes. Her crimson eyes blinked as if pleading.

“I’ll hold on to you. So that you don’t have to worry, always like this…”

I smiled at her, telling her to relax.

Amal narrowed her eyes and blushed.

Then she bit her lip and slowly uttered her words.

“Yes, Andy-sama. Please hold on to me. Always, always…”

“Yeah, leave it to me.”

“…I’m happy.”

Amal smiled contentedly.

With her thin, white fingers, she caressed my cheek.

…Her hand was surprisingly cold.

***

The next day.

After finishing my morning chores, I headed straight to the back of the monastery.

Whenever I have something on my mind, I come here and lie down in the grass, looking up at the sky. Doing so doesn’t necessarily solve my problems, but it calms my mind.

The distant sky stretches out endlessly. Despite the changing people, scenery, and times, the sky remains the same. The sky is one of the few things that remind me of the place where I used to be.

I close my eyes.

The blue of the sky is burned into my eyelids.

Overwhelmingly blue.

What could be beyond that endless expanse?

“You’re here again.”

A cool voice echoed.

“What’s wrong, Johanna? Is it bad for me to be here?”

“No.”

Johanna answered shortly and sat down beside me.

Neither Johanna nor I said anything more. Silence filled the air. However, this silence was far from awkward, it was comfortable.

I had a faint feeling that Johanna and I were quite compatible.

If Amal hadn’t been there, I might have fallen in love with her. I thought about it as if it were someone else’s affair.

The wind fluttered my bangs.

Without fixing them, I keep looking up.

Even though there’s nothing but the sky, I keep staring.

Johanna’s hand overlapped with mine. With a glance, I asked Johanna what she was up to.

Johanna seemed to realize for the first time that she was holding my hand. However, instead of letting go, she gripped it tighter as if to confirm it.

“…I feel like you’re dissolving into the sky…”

At her muttered words, for some reason, I couldn’t laugh.