Saint's Prison - Chapter 72

Words being ruminated…

I’ve always, always wanted to see you.

I just wished you would turn around and smile at me.

That would have been enough. That’s all I ever wanted.

But you moved forward.

You left me behind and stepped forward.

It was so sad, so painful, so painful, so painful――― more than anything, I hated loved it.

Please notice me.

I’m right here.

I’m alone here, waiting for you.

So please, find me.

If this wish cannot be fulfilled, I want to continue dreaming about you, enveloped in a happy slumber, wanting to fall into an eternal sleep.

――― For that, a night that never dawns is necessary.

＊＊＊

I remember what happened last night.

Amal’s words keep repeating in my mind.

“I have a sister.”

Amal had a sister.

We’ve been together for a year and a half, but he never mentioned it once.

It’s not that strange.

I’ve never told her about Shizuyo… my sister either. Of course, not even about her death.

But why does this bother me so much? I don’t know. I don’t know, but it seemed like important information.

“……Andy-sama. You’ve been silent since earlier, is something wrong? Could it be that the soup didn’t suit your taste?”

Amal’s words pull me out of my thoughts.

The meal laid out on the table catches my eye. Oh no. I was in the middle of a meal. I quickly turned my gaze to Amal.

She was looking up at me with anxiety in her eyes. Her wavering eyes were filled with sorrow. I smile to comfort her and call out to Amal.

“No, it’s as delicious as always.”

“……I’m glad.”

Amal seems genuinely relieved. She gives a soft smile and pours ale into my cup.

I thank her and drink it all in one gulp.

After finishing breakfast, I watch Amal clean up.

Her beautiful silver hair was dyed orange in the faint light of the candle.

When Amal noticed my gaze, she shyly lowered her eyes and tucked her hair behind her ear to hide it.

There was something sexy about her gesture.

I stand up and spread my arms.

“Amal, come here.”

“……Yes!”

Her face lights up with joy, and she stops what she’s doing and runs over immediately. She looked like a puppy happy to be called by its owner.

I hug her tightly. I bury my face in her hair and smell her scent. It smells like blooming flowers, like ripe fruit. My heart is healed by the familiar smell.

I indulge in it until I’m satisfied, then let go. Her crimson eyes wavered with sadness.

“……Amal. Um……”

“Andy-sama……?”

I search for the words to follow. I had so much to say. A chapel for worshiping something.

A secret guarded by priests. And… about Amal’s sister. But the words won’t come out.

I stutter and in the end, I couldn’t convey anything. Amal frowned at my strange behavior.

“Is something wrong?”

“……Ah, no, it’s nothing.”

“Is that so?”

Amal obediently nodded her head. However, she seemed unconvinced. Her dissatisfaction was written all over her face.

(…I’m really loved, aren’t I)

Amal is surprisingly overprotective of me.

She spoils me with all her might, protects me from being hurt by anyone.

What’s more, she takes care of everything to keep me from leaving her, hindering my independence.

She is obsessed with me to the point of being pathological.

That’s why she reacts so sensitively to even the slightest change in my emotions.

To distract Amal, I kissed her peach-colored lips.

Amal’s eyes widened for a moment, but she soon melted with delight.

She blushed and clung to me, asking for more.

Amal, who was once an innocent girl, is now nowhere to be seen.

Her expression, which even seemed lascivious, was unmistakably that of a “woman”.

I was the one who changed Amal. I have no regrets about that. Nor do I feel guilty. But sometimes I wonder.

(Am I… a drug to Amal?)

It can sometimes be a salvation, but more often than not, a terrible end awaits. As if to shake off such thoughts, I quietly closed my eyes.

＊＊＊

In the afternoon, I tend to the vineyard with Francesco.

The thick, gloomy clouds block out the sun’s light, and even though it’s daytime, the surroundings are faded and tinged with grey.

It feels like it’s reflecting my current state of mind, and I’m fed up.

“What’s up? You look so solemn. Did you have a stomach upset?”

Francesco stops his work and looks at me worriedly.

“No, it’s not that. It’s not like that.”

“Well, is there anything else you’re worried about?”

Francesco’s kind voice makes me want to tell him everything. But of course, I can’t do that.

So, I acted as if I was homesick, missing Japan.

“Yeah, I was just remembering my family back home.”

“I see… I’m sorry for asking such a thoughtless question.”

Francesco lowers his eyebrows in a sad way. When I see him like this, I’m reminded once again that he’s a really good guy.

“No, it’s okay.”

I smiled at Francesco. Seeing this, Francesco looked relieved. He’s easy to read.

“……You know, I’ve never heard you talk about your family before.”

“Well, I’ve never talked about it. I haven’t seen my family in a long time. They went far, far away.”

“Your home is in the far eastern island nation, right? It’s not easy to go back.”

“Yeah, that’s right. But I can definitely see them. I think it will take a few decades, but definitely.”

“Yeah, I’ll be praying for that too.”

Francesco crosses himself and offers a prayer. I bow my head slightly in thanks. Francesco, his chubby cheeks trembling, smiles.

“……Francesco, your family was in the merchant business, right?”

“Yes, that’s right. I have a brother, so he takes over the family business. Well, I can’t say I get along well with my brother, though.”

Thump.

For some reason, my heart pounded heavily at Francesco’s words.

“Could you say that again?”

“Huh? My brother is taking over the family business. We don’t get along very well, though.”

“No, before that.”

“Hmm… I have a brother…”

In my head, Francesco’s words and Amal’s words repeat.

“I have a brother…”

“My sibling, sister exists…”

They’re both just words about having a brother or sister. But they’re fundamentally different. That was what I had felt strange.

I put my hand on my chest as if to confirm the beating of my heart.